My Lord
by linalove
Summary: He walked towards her, his eyes scorching,"My dear, don't you know that you are to accompany me everywhere? Even to hell, my little saint." He told her as he grasped the back of her head, his fingers threading into her dark hair before he pulled her to him, pressing a harsh kiss to her forehead, "Say goodbye to paradise, Alexandra." He breathed. John Wilmot/OC. Rating changed.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello and welcome! Thank you for checking this story out. I only hope I don't disappoint you. **

**This is a JW/OC story and it might be AU, I am not sure yet. We shall see.**

**If you read then please review. No flames please. If you don't enjoy it then please don't read it!**

**Now on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine. I only own the plot and my OC.**

**Dedicated to _AqoCJeyBee_ for her wonderful support and drawings! You're a doll! :D**

**Oh, and Happy Birthday, love! ;o)**

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**My Lord**

**Chapter 1**

_**Time is too slow for those who wait,  
Too swift for those who fear,  
Too long for those who grieve,  
Too short for those who rejoice,  
But for those who love, time is eternity **_

_**~ Henry Van Dyke (1852-1933)**_

_London, 1674_

The carriage shook heavily as it slid with difficulty over the bumpy road. The woman inside woke up and placed a hand on her head, feeling it pound as she tried to open her eyes.

Groggily she managed to open them and looked outside the small slit that served as a window for the coach. The scenery had completely changed and instead of the greenery of Oxfordshire she was met with the darkness and dirt of London. She squinted, trying to see better but the carriage shook again and she gave up. She rubbed her eyes and pulled her shawl tighter around her body as she rested her back against the carriage seat. She gazed at the small bag that included her belongings and sighed. With a quick look at her poorly tailored, and probably inadequate, clothes she was certain that she would not be welcomed in the city; especially not by the Earl and his nobles. She winced at the thought of what awaited her.

When the Countess had sent her after her son, it had taken her a great deal of power to not complain like a petulant child. Being the laundry maid of Adderbury Manor had the great advantage of not meddling with the masters and their whims. She was not seen often and if she was seen she would mostly be ignored. That was a blessing when your lord and master was the Earl of Rochester. Being married to Lady Elizabeth, one of the most beautiful women of the county, and being the father of three children, did not stop him from acquiring an infamous reputation. Close friend of the King and a war hero, John Wilmot was nothing like one would expect from a man of his status. Easily ruffled, terribly honest and a womanizer, he was a pain to his wife and his mother, Lady Anne.

The Countess had chosen her to accompany the Earl after a lot of consideration but his estate in London needed a housekeeper and she was the least desired servant in the household since they had long added more maids to their service. Perhaps the fact that she was also headstrong helped to her appointment to the earl's house in the city.

What she feared was not the heavy load of work that awaited her but the man himself.

Suddenly the carriage came to a stop and her eyes widened as she was broken out of her thoughts. She wiped her sweaty palms on her skirt and it was then that she heard the driver's voice call out to her.

"We have arrived, Alexandra!" the hoarse voice of the driver yelled and she slowly got out of the carriage. She pulled out her belongings and turned to face the estate.

It was not as large as the one in Oxfordshire but it was definitely lavish.

"Good luck." The driver, Thomas, told her as he patted her sympathetically on the back, "I fear you will need it because he might send you back to the country on foot." He said and Alexandra turned to glare at him, he blue eyes flashing with anger.

"Thank you for the encouragement, Tom." She told him as she smoothed her plain blue skirt, "Always great help you are." She muttered as she ignored his chuckles and stepped forward.

She raised her hand and knocked onto the door before she stepped back and waited.

It took minutes for someone to finally open the gate.

"Alcock." Alexandra greeted and the man paused, seemingly confused.

"Oh…You…What are you doing here?" he looked beyond her, checking to see if she was alone.

"The Countess sent me. She said there is no one to help around the house." She replied and she corked an eyebrow when the other servant started laughing.

"They sent _you_? What's your name again?" he asked as he opened the door wide to let her pass.

"Alexandra." She muttered with exasperation as she brushed by him.

"Oh, right. The laundry maid. You got quite a promotion." Alcock shut the door and came to stand next to her.

"Does he know?" Alcock asked in a hushed voice and she quickly shook her head.

"No."

"Then it's better if you do your work without showing your face much. Come on. The kitchen surely needs a little help…Along with the master chamber…the washroom and the back garden." He added and Alexandra frowned as she followed him.

"Anything else?" she muttered sarcastically and he turned to her.

"Aye! The liquor cabinet needs to be restocked but that's my chore." He announced as they passed through a corridor and arrived at the kitchen area.

"What are your other tasks?" she curiously asked as she placed her satchel on the kitchen table and looked up at the dark haired man who was smirking down at her.

"That's my only chore." He laughed and she glared when his eyes perused her body.

"Where does the Earl eat?" she asked as she looked around the abandoned kitchen.

"Inn or at Court."

"Hmm. Are there any spare bedrooms?" she asked and he nodded.

"Aye. There are the servant quarters through here. Come, I'll show you." He slipped through a door that was hidden behind a curtain at the far corner of the kitchen and she followed after him quickly.

"The Earl's room is upstairs along with his study. When he's here he spends most of his time in there."

"Yes. I know he prefers to be alone rather than stay in the country." Alexandra murmured as she had seen more than once his wife mourning over the fact of his absence. She had often wondered if he was cruel on purpose or if it was just, well, him.

"Exactly. Here." He opened a door and wiggled his eyebrows, "Next to mine."

Alexandra rolled her eyes and walked in.

"Make yourself comfortable and then I suggest you get to work before my Lord Rochester comes back from Court. Oh and I like broth." He said before he walked out and closed the door behind him.

Alexandra rolled her eyes to the closed door and collapsed on the single bed at the corner.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_Two days later…_

Alcock placed a bucket of warm, soapy water next to her and Alexandra smiled gratefully.

"Thank you." She murmured as she slipped the mop inside the bubbling concoction and kneeled down. When she noticed that the other servant was staring at her, she pulled a cloth from her apron and threw it at him.

"Well, don't just stand there. Dust the desk and shelves!" she exclaimed and almost laughed as he grimaced.

"Feisty." He muttered as he headed over to the desk and started brushing dust off of it, "So, Alexandra," he started and she sighed as she started mopping the floor, "What's your story?" he asked and she paused.

"I don't actually have one. I needed a job and my mother worked in the Countess' household before she got sick. They took me in and here I am. My mother resides in Epsom now." She shrugged.

"Hmm."

"If you plan on making witty conversation with me then perhaps you should tell me _your_ story." She looked up and smirked, "I heard you stole from your last master and the Earl was kind enough to take you in."

Alcock rose his chin up in defiance, "So?"

"Well, just saying…Your story is more interesting than mine." She told him as she scrubbed hard at the floor.

"You should hurry up-…"

"I am trying. Am I supposed to cook dinner?" she asked but they both froze when the front door of the house slammed shut.

"Well, slap me! He's back early." Alcock said as he abandoned the cloth and ran out of the room to greet his master.

Alexandra sat back and watched the door until she heard footsteps.

"I am telling you, Alcock, something smells different in here." Lord Rochester's voice seemed much close and Alexandra quickly scrambled to her feet. Her foot knocked the bucket over in her haste and soapy water soaked her dress and floor.

"Oh hell." She whispered but there was no time to clean it up because the Earl's boots appeared in the doorway.

Everything went silent for a few moments until the Earl spoke up, "What is _she_ doing here?" he asked and Alexandra looked up at him through her eyelashes. He wore a scowl on his otherwise handsome face. His overcoat was carelessly thrown over his shoulders and his vest was unbuttoned and peeking from the opening of the intricate fabric. His brown curls were covering part of his face and he held his cane in his hand, his ink stained fingers tightly curled around the handle.

When neither of them replied he clicked said cane against the floor and only then did Alcock speak up.

"The Countess sent her to help in the house, my Lord." He replied cheerily but the Earl only sneered.

"Of course. She needed to meddle again." He said as he stepped in.

He approached her but stayed well away from the wet spot on the floor, "Tell me, girl. Are you always this careless?" he asked as he gazed at her soaked hem.

Alexandra looked away from his expensive boots and tried not to seem rude, "I am sorry, my Lord. I will clean it immediately." She replied and when she realized that he didn't intend to turn his gaze elsewhere she averted her eyes first.

He huffed and then turned to his desk, "Clean up quickly then. Or better, let Alcock do it." He said as he threw his coat over an armchair and placed his cane on the desk. He headed for the liquor cabinet by the corner and when he opened it and found it empty he turned to her.

"Make yourself useful and fetch me wine." He said as he slammed the cabinet shut.

When she didn't move he looked up at her and smirked, "Sometime soon, I hope."

His words made her feet move at last and she quickly stepped away from the wet floor and headed for the door.

The last thing she heard before she climbed down the stairs to the cellar was the Earl's irritated words.

"You fool! Why did you let her in?"

She sighed heavily.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_A few days later…_

The corridor was dark as Alexandra diminished the last candle in the hallway and headed for her room. Her feet thudded gently against the carpeted floor as she walked and as she passed by the Earl's study she picked up the pace.

A loud thud from inside alarmed her and she paused. She slowly turned and bit her lip before she headed for the door. As she peered inside the half open door her eyes widened at what she saw.

A woman was standing in the middle of the room and she was lacing up her bodice while Lord Rochester was sprawled onto the settee. He looked exhausted.

His clothes were disheveled and from what she could see he held the familiar goblet in his hand. His head was thrown back against the pillows and he was staring at the ceiling as the blonde woman picked up her shawl and wrapped it around her shoulders.

"Goodnight, John. Sleep." The woman said softly but the Earl did not respond, as if he hadn't heard her.

With a sigh the woman headed for the door and Alexandra jumped back and away from the doorway.

It was of no use however, because the woman had already seen her.

"Hello." She greeted with a small, guarded smile.

Alexandra turned to face her, "Good evening." She inclined her head.

The woman gazed at her with amusement and from her appearance Alexandra could tell that she was no noblewoman.

"You are the maid?" the woman asked and Alexandra nodded.

"Perhaps you can put him to bed then? He's pissed." The blonde woman looked longingly towards the study, "He won't let me." She shrugged before she turned and walked away, her crimson dress flowing behind her.

Alexandra watched her go with confusion before she thought over the woman's words. She mostly avoided her master but what if he was in need of help?

Stifling a sigh, she smoothed her skirt and walked into the study with determination.

As she walked in, the scent of alcohol and another musky smell hang heavily in the air.

Alexandra was not dimwitted. She knew what Lord Rochester had been doing with the woman but it was not her place to judge or think. She was there to serve.

As she got closer to him, his eyes snapped open and he gazed straight at her. His dark gaze startled her.

"You." He murmured as he let his head fall back against the pillows again, "What do you want?" he muttered as he quickly pulled the flap of his breeches over, trying to button them quite unsuccessfully.

"Shall I help your Lordship to bed?" she asked as she walked over and looked at his poor attempts of making himself presentable again.

He paused and looked up at her before he ceased his attempts to close his breeches and beckoned her over with two fingers.

"Right this and be gone." He muttered as he let his eyes close again, his hand falling limply over the back of the settee again.

Alexandra swallowed hard but approached him nonetheless. She leaned over and quickly, well as quickly as her shaky hands could allow her, righted his breeches and then quickly pulled her hands away. He did not move and she reached over to take the goblet from his hand. His hand jerked under hers and he opened his eyes to glare at her.

"Leave that." He muttered as he sat slightly up and pulled his hand away.

Alexandra recoiled at his tone and pursed her lips, "Shall I-…"

"You shall do nothing." He cut her off sharply as he raised his eyes to her flushed face, "Stop pestering me like Jane did. Get out." He muttered as he leaned over and grabbed the bottle of wine. He poured more of the red liquid into his glass and brought it to his lips. He paused, however, when he saw her lingering. He noticed how her eyes settled on the scattered papers on the floor and he sneered.

"Do you need a written command to do as I say?" he snapped and she startled, "I doubt you can even read." He muttered and she narrowed her eyes.

She had the sudden urge to speak her mind but she repressed it and kept her mouth shut.

"Excuse me. My Lord." She bowed slightly and he looked at her over the rim of his goblet as she made her retreat.

She pulled the door shut and leaned momentarily against it.

"You would be surprised to find that I can indeed read, my Lord." She muttered angrily before she walked away with her head held high.

**End of chapter 1**

**Author's note: Thank you for reading. If you liked it and want more then please leave me some feedback! It is much appreciated and encouraging to hear from you lovely people!**

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**Xxx Lina :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello and welcome back, loves! I want to thank all those who read the first chapter of this story and I want to give a huge hug to my reviewers: MissMisc3, TinaG646, 88dragon06, The DuTchess of Doom, nuckythompson, Dionne dance, ForeverACharmedOne, Makrciana, onecelestialbeing, Balder Rask, TinkerbellxO, skycord1990, flo3child21, XantheXV, AqoCJeyBee and UnicornTamer.**

**You are all amazing. I didn't think anyone would be interested in this but you proved me wrong!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine or any of its characters. I only own my OC and the plot.**

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**Chapter 2**

It was late in the night but Alexandra was wide awake and making rounds around the estate. Alcock had promptly fallen asleep on the kitchen table after consuming his dinner and she was well aware that the Earl was in the house and he was not asleep. She could hear him moving around in his study. She could hear the sound of his boots as he paced the room, the rustle of paper as he worked on his writing and the sound of his glass every time he placed it on his desk.

So as she once again passed by his Lordship's study she heard his irritated tut and then his voice.

"Damn. Alcock!" he exclaimed and Alexandra froze. There was no way Alcock could hear him for he was one floor down and asleep. Smoothing her skirt, she walked towards the half open door and peered inside.

"Um, may I help you, my Lord?" she asked hesitantly for she was quite certain that Lord Rochester did not like her. She had no idea why though.

Slowly he looked up from his papers and squinted.

"Where's Alcock?" he asked as he raised a single eyebrow.

"He fell asleep, my Lord." She answered and the Earl rolled his eyes.

"The idiot. Who wastes his time sleeping?" he muttered and then pointed at his empty bottle of wine, "Head to the cellar. Bring me a new one." He said and then waved her away with a motion of his elegant hand.

Alexandra opened her mouth, the instinctive urge to object and reprimand ready on her tongue but she decided against it. He would surely not appreciate it.

"Yes." She said as she quickly left the room and headed for the cellar.

The room was humid as she entered and it brought a chill up and down her spine. She searched for the wine and she only located one single bottle. The cellar needed to be restocked again. With a sigh she took the last bottle with her and made her way to the Earl's study.

"It's the last one, my Lord." She said as soon as she was in and he did not look at her. His eyes were trained on the half written page in front of him.

"Then be sure to restock the cellar with everything we need." With those words he outstretched a hand and beckoned her closer, "Fill it up." He said as he picked up his goblet.

Alexandra glared at his profile and uncorked the bottle.

The hand holding the goblet was extended with impatience and she could do nothing more but approach. She tilted the wine bottle and poured some of the wine, leaving the goblet half full. The click of a tongue made her look up and she met the sharp gaze of her master.

"I said fill it, not leave it half empty." He told her sharply, his eyes narrowed in reprimand.

Stifling a sigh she tilted the bottle again, filling it to the brim and he smirked.

"Good."

The goblet was brought to his lips immediately and she gazed at the room around her as she took a few steps away. Scattered clothes, parchments, quills and empty glasses were filling the entire study and the stale smell of alcohol was prominent in the air.

She wiggled her nose and turned to her master.

"Perhaps, you should go to bed soon, my Lord? It is already late." She spoke quietly and he froze momentarily before he pulled the goblet away from his lips and slowly lifted his head to look at her. He pulled his feet down from the desk and turned his body towards her, his lips twisted into a sneer.

"I don't recall giving you permission to speak. I also do not recall allowing you to scold me like I am nothing more but a mere child. Am I wrong, _Alexandra_?" he quirked an eyebrow, his eyes shiny and liquid as he stared at her, his mouth moist and set into a sarcastic smirk.

She cleared her throat and fidgeted where she stood. He chuckled and leaned back in his chair.

"And yes, I do know your name." he told her as he took another sip, "Surprising, is it not?" he drawled.

"Nonetheless," he continued, "I did not escape the country only to have you shadow my every move." He turned to look at her pointedly, "Despite of how tempting a distraction you can be…" his eyes traveled her body provocatively and she took a reflexive step back.

He smirked yet again, "You are rather annoying." He finished and Alexandra felt color rising onto her cheeks. Her eyes widened in anger but she pressed her lips into a thin line, trying to suppress her aggravation. She needed that position and she was not planning on losing it any time soon.

The Earl craned his neck as he sat there, regarding her with critical eyes, "Was it my mother's idea to send you here?" he asked and then laughed but the sound sounded bitter and hallow, "Does she not know me at all?" he asked with a mocking pout before he huffed, "Probably not." He muttered and then downed the rest of his drink in one go.

Alexandra swallowed hard and spoke softly, "It was not my intention to pry or bother you, my Lord. Please forgive me." She lowered her eyes and she could feel his eyes on her before she heard him standing up from his armchair.

His boots rapped against the wooden floor as he approached her and she tried hard not to flinch back when his warm fingers grasped her chin.

"Well, of course it wasn't." he spoke equally softly but she could not tell if his tone was mocking or simply honest.

She stole a glance at him and she saw that his gaze was focused on her exposed collarbone. She gulped and he raised his eyes to her face.

"Next time if you have an opinion, keep it to yourself. Now," he released her chin and stepped back, "Leave the bottle and be gone." He muttered as he headed towards the center of his study where pillows were piled near the fireplace.

Alexandra watched him as he squatted down in front of the fire and when he turned his head slightly towards her direction, she bowed and placed the bottle on his desk.

"Sir." She whispered before she turned around and walked away hurriedly.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Alexandra!"

Alexandra wanted to throttle the Earl of Rochester. She really did. She wanted to take one of his expensive cravats and throttle him for all the pain he had brought on her feet since that day she had fetched him the wine. It seemed like he had found her to be quicker and perhaps a bit more intelligent than his faithful servant because he had been calling for her all the time. Or perhaps he simply took pleasure from seeing her angry every time he asked for something absurd.

Stifling a deep groan she walked into the parlor where he stood, surrounded by…clothes.

"My Lord?" she asked with great confusion as she lingered hesitantly in the threshold.

"Come, come." He beckoned her over with his finger.

Alexandra looked around suspiciously before she headed over to him, wiping her hands in her apron as she did so.

"Help me try these on." He told her as his eyes perused the wide selection of brand new clothes.

"What is the occasion if I may ask?" Alexandra asked as he pointed at an intricate dark blue waistcoat. She picked it up while he came to stand in front of the large body mirror that had been placed in the parlor.

"The premiere of the new play at the theatre." He replied as Alexandra came to stand behind him and helped his arms through the sleeves of the waistcoat. Her hands smoothed the fabric over his shoulders while he looked at it with critical eyes.

"Hmm." He sneered, "No. Bring the crimson one. Crimson as in red." He smirked down at her and she pursed her lips.

"I am well aware what crimson means, my Lord. My mother was a seamstress." She said tersely as she fetched the dark red one. He threw the blue one on the settee and pushed his arms through the other one.

"Is that so? Might I ask if some of her talent has been inherited to you? It might prove useful." He said as he raised his chin and regarded himself. He smirked.

"Better. You didn't answer me." He told her but she was too busy gazing at his reflection through the mirror. The dark color accentuated his pale skin and his brown hair.

"Alexandra." He enunciated her name and she blinked out of her reverie.

"My Lord."

He laughed as he turned around to face her, his eyes mischievous as he leaned over and picked up his glass. He took a sip before he took a step closer to her. She instinctively moved back.

"Does wealth dazzle you, hmm? Or is it the fact of my reflection that got your interest?" he cocked his head to the side, "I can wager that you will make the same mistake as the rest of them. Do not let my poetic nature confuse you, my dear. Nor my looks." He told her in a low voice as he grasped her wrist and swiftly turned her around so her back was pressed against his chest. His arm coiled itself around her chest and he held captive while her eyes widened in alarm.

"You'd think a man like me would be kind. Do not fool yourself." He breathed into her ear, "Do not let your guard down around me. Never. I can and perhaps will do this…" he brushed his hand over her cheek in a gentle caress, "Or this." He tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear and she shivered despite herself.

"You can give me this." He pressed the palm of his hand against her lower belly and pushed her backwards against him. He groaned softly and kept her pressed there for a while before he spoke again, "But never give me this." He murmured as he placed his hand over her heart and pressed his fingers against the skin, "It'd be your downfall." He hissed and Alexandra's breathing quickened as he pulled his hand away from her chest and with a last stroke of his finger down the column of her throat released her.

She stumbled away and turned to look at him with horror. He smiled and took another generous sip of his drink.

"Now that we have cleared that out," he turned towards the clothes on the settee, "Let us choose the appropriate cravat. I leave that to your choice." He said and Alexandra didn't know if she wanted to slap him or thank him for the fair warning. He was right. It would be the easiest thing in the world to be enthralled by him but also the most dangerous.

With slightly shaky hands and a quickened breath she looked at the various cravats that were hanging over the arm of the settee and quickly settled for a white lacy one. She turned and showed it at him.

"Perfect." He nodded his head before he finished his wine in one go and then walked towards her. He waited and she finally got the hint. She wrapped the material around his neck and with slow movements tied it in a bow around the collar of his crisp white shirt. She tucked it under the neckline of his waistcoat and then immediately moved away.

It would have been so easy to just hurt him with that cloth and he would stay still under her hands. She was certain of it from the way he was looking at her. How strange.

"May I be excused?" she asked without looking at him and he stared at her for a moment before he spoke.

"Wait." He walked over to the settee and gazed at the various silk scarves that were lined up next to the cravats. He picked up a pale blue one and then threw it towards her unceremoniously.

Alexandra barely caught it for it was so light and fine. Shocked she looked up.

"To hide that hideous burn mark on your neck." He told her with a grimace and she blinked. He was referring to her hurt neck skin which she had burned while doing laundry.

"Um…"

"The King will pay for it. Or better, the monthly commission I receive from him will pay for it." He told her, "So don't be quick to thank me. Although," he started with a smirk as he turned to her, "He might appreciate it if you were to kneel between his legs." He winked with salacious intent and she gritted her teeth.

"Then I have no need for it, my Lord. I leave all the kneeling to you." She said as she calmly placed the scarf on the settee and promptly walked away.

The Earl's amused laughter followed her all the way to the kitchen.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The carriage stopped just outside the estate and Alexandra immediately went to open the door. Lady Rochester climbed out of the carriage and young master Charles followed after her, clutching tightly onto his mother's hand.

"My Lady." Alexandra smiled and the other woman returned it, her pale eyes warm.

"Alexandra." She inclined her head as she stepped into the house.

"Welcome. We weren't informed of your arrival." Alexandra shut the door and quickly helped Lady Elizabeth out of her cape.

"Yes, the child was sick and we paid a visit to the physician. We shall only stay the night. Inform the Earl that we won't bother him for longer than it is absolutely necessary." Elizabeth looked around the foyer.

"Madam, his Lordship is not here." Alexandra said as she took Charles' hand, ready to lead him to one of the guestrooms.

"Oh. Where is he?" the other woman asked with pursed lips and Alexandra gulped.

"He is at the theatre and I was informed that he would stay at the inn for the night." She replied and watched as all the light disappeared from the other woman's eyes.

"I see. Would you please put Charles to bed? I will be there shortly to tuck him in." Lady Elizabeth requested and Alexandra nodded quickly.

"Of course. How are the girls, my Lady?"

"They are well. Thank you." She smiled and then headed straight for the washroom with hasty footsteps.

Alexandra sighed and smiled down at the child who looked drowsy but lovely all the same. With his mother's eyes and his father's curly locks he was an image to behold.

"Come on, little sir." She smiled as she leaned down and picked up the slightly feverish child, "Shall we put you to bed?" she questioned as he tucked his head into her neck and nodded.

"Hmm."

Alexandra smiled.

**End of chapter 2**

**Author's note: Thank you for reading. If you liked it and want more then please review! Your opinion is very much needed and appreciated! Plus it is my only payment!**

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**Xxx Lina :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Welcome back, loves! I hope you are well.**

**I wish to thank the following people for their support: ForeverACharmedOne, Dionne dance, TinkerbellxO, Leyshla Gisel, nuckythompson, Makrciana, XantheXV, skycord1990, AqoCJeyBee, MissMisc3, 88dragon06 and music is life 99 xxx.**

**It's really great that you tell me your thoughts because they are inspiring and encouraging. So, you have my immense gratitude. Keep doing so, please!:D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

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**Chapter 3**

**~Lest, once more wandering from that heaven,**

**I fall on some base heart unblest,**

**Faithless to thee, false, unforgiven,**

**And lose my everlasting rest.~**

**~John Wilmot~**

As Alexandra opened the door to let him into the house, the Earl unceremoniously handed her his coat and cane and stormed into the house.

"Prepare some dinner for me. I am famished." He muttered as he headed straight for the parlor.

Alexandra glared at his back before she shut the door and followed him into the parlor.

"My Lord did not dine at the inn?" she asked quietly and he grimaced.

"No, I found the food and company there quite nauseating." He said as he looked at her sideways, "I think you have started spoiling me with your food, Alexandra." He smirked and she looked at him steadily before she turned her gaze on his coat that still rested in her arms. She brushed imaginative dust from it, trying to ignore the pungent scent of cheap perfume that it emanated, before she raised her eyes to his face again. Surprisingly enough he was looking back at her still.

"Lady Rochester is here, my Lord. So is your son." She said and he narrowed his eyes as he turned his entire body towards her.

"They are here? When did they arrive?" he asked as he gazed towards the stairs that led to the upper floor.

"A few hours ago. Master Charles was sick and they had to pay a visit to the physician." Alexandra replied and the Earl's body tensed.

"Sick, you say?" he murmured.

Alexandra was surprised when she saw actual concern in his eyes.

"Yes."

"Where is he now?" He asked as he shrugged out of his waistcoat which he then threw over a chair.

"He's asleep upstairs." She replied and he pursed his lips in contemplation.

"My wife?"

"Lady Rochester is reading in one of the guestrooms, my Lord." Alexandra said and he nodded.

"Good. Bring her some tea." He said as he brushed by her and headed for the stairs.

Alexandra hung his coat and then went to do his bidding quickly.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Alexandra hesitated at the door. She stood with the tray, her hand poised over the wood to knock but when she heard the conversation that was taking place just behind the closed door of the guestroom she couldn't bring herself to intrude.

"Why didn't you send word? I could have taken him to see the King's doctor. He is the best in London." The Earl's voice was quiet.

"Oh, please, John. Just because he demands greater payment it does not make him the best physician in London. Besides, it was just a cold." Lady Elizabeth's voice had an edge to it.

"Still, you could have told me." He argued.

"Really? Am I supposed to think that you actually care?" the woman's voice was not raised. After all she barely raised her voice anyway; not even to her own children. They obeyed her nonetheless though.

"Elizabeth." Lord Rochester's voice held a warning.

"Please, John. I am not a fool. You didn't even reply to the letter."

She could hear his boots as he walked around the room, "What letter, Elizabeth?" his voice was strained as if he was fighting back his anger.

"The last letter I sent." Lady Elizabeth's voice was confused by then.

"I haven't received a letter from you in over a month." The Earl replied somewhat bitterly and Alexandra frowned.

"But…" Lady Rochester took a deep breath, "You don't know?"

There was silence and then Lady Elizabeth murmured something.

"Know _what_? For God sake's, woman! Speak up! I did not hear you." He sounded irritated and Alexandra winced on his wife's behalf.

"I said that I was with child. I lost it two weeks ago." Lady Elizabeth said more loudly and then everything went quiet.

"I did not get any letter. I would have replied if I knew-…"

"Oh, save your breath, John. Please." The woman cut him off and he groaned, "I want to rest."

Alexandra realized that it was her opportunity to step in. She knocked and then opened the door.

"Your tea, madam." She smiled and Elizabeth sighed.

"Thank you." She accepted the cup and then sat herself on the bed, "I did not ask for some before because I didn't know if there was anything other than liquor in this house." She looked pointedly at her husband who sneered.

"You always have so much faith in me, dear wife." He answered with barely disguised contempt.

"Faith is earned, dear husband." Lady Rochester fired back and Alexandra immediately headed for the door.

"Did I excuse you, Alexandra?" The Earl's voice snarled and Alexandra turned to look at him.

"Leave the girl alone. It's a wonder she is still here and has not run back to Oxfordshire yet." Lady Elizabeth said with a glare and the Earl stared hard at his wife before he turned on his heel and walked out of the room.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Alexandra placed her palm against the child's forehead and when she found his skin cool she smiled.

"All better, hmm?" she told him as he touched his rosy cheek, "Now, let's get dressed. Your mother is expecting you downstairs." She reached for his shirt and pulled it over his blond head of hair.

"We are leaving, 'Xandra?" Charles asked and she smiled at the way he pronounced her name. It was too long for him.

"Hmm. You'll be back home before you know it." She nodded her head as she lifted him up on the bed and tucked his shirt in. She smoothed down his hair and then stood up to fetch his shoes.

The door opened just then and the Earl walked in.

"Charles?" he looked at is son who grinned widely at the sight of him.

"Papa! I was sick, did you know?" the child asked enthusiastically as Lord Rochester walked further into the room. He shot a quick glance at Alexandra before he went to sit on his son's bed.

"Yes, I know." He placed his hand against his son's cheek and smiled a bit at him, "There's a good lad. You are fine now."

"Won't you come back with us?" Charles asked, his lower lip trembling as he spoke.

"Not today." The Earl frowned as Alexandra kneeled and started putting on Charles' shoes but he leaned down to kiss his son's forehead and blond locks before he pulled back and stood.

"Alexandra, when you're done, I want to speak to you. Alone." He quirked an eyebrow and she nodded her head.

"My Lord."

The Earl looked at the child one more time before he turned and stepped out of the room, leaving the door ajar.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"You asked for me, my Lord?" Alexandra stepped into the Earl's study and gazed at his back. He was turned away from her, a glass in his hand. His waistcoat was gone and he was in his breeches and shirt, standing rigidly in front of the fire.

"Alexandra." He breathed her name tiredly and she frowned.

"My Lord?" she took a step closer.

"Who is in charge of my correspondence?" he asked her as he turned his head slightly towards her. She could see that a single eyebrow was lifted.

"Um, Alcock, sir."

He suddenly turned to her, "The imbecile." He snarled as he threw the glass into the fire and stepped up to her with angry eyes, "If he comes back from wherever he has disappeared into, you are to send him back to the country. He is not to show his face until I call on him. Is that clear?" he told her and she quickly nodded.

"Of course, my Lord. You found your correspondence lacking?" she asked and he narrowed his eyes.

"That is none of your concern." He informed her and she averted her eyes, "Can you read?" he asked her abruptly.

Alexandra lifted her face up to his with defiance, "Of course I can." She replied smugly.

The Earl gazed at her speculatively for a moment before he snorted, "What a surprising feat…" he murmured as he cocked his head to the side, "If I see another letter lost I will blame you and then you can tell my mother that you failed your mission to watch over her rebellious son. Am I being clear?" he leaned in close and looked at her straight in the eye.

"I am not watching-…" she tried to protest but of course he didn't let her finish.

"You're talking again. And not only you're talking but you are attempting to talk back to me. Tsk, tsk." He smirked as he grasped her chin and gazed deeply into her eyes, "There is fire inside these ice blue eyes of yours…How fetching." He murmured as he licked his lower lip. His thumb brushed over the skin of her chin, just under her bottom lip and she shivered under his intense gaze. He grinned at her reaction and boldly ran his finger over her mouth in a caress.

Alexandra tensed but with a last stroke, he released her and stepped back. He turned his back on her and gazed at the broken glass in the fireplace.

"Get me another glass, sweet. And fast." He murmured as he situated himself in his favorite armchair and propped his feet up.

Alexandra stirred from her frozen state and hurriedly turned and walked away with her heart beating wildly inside her chest.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The tray was placed quietly on the mahogany desk and Alexandra almost smiled with triumph.

"What's that?" the Earl's voice snarled and the smile fell right off her face.

She wiped her hands on her apron and smiled.

"Chicken, my Lord." She replied and he leaned back in the chair, his hair falling across his forehead.

"Have you brought it to sing to me?" he asked her dryly and she frowned.

"You are not eating, you are not sleeping. All you do is hang onto that glass. I am worried, my Lord."

His eyebrows disappeared under his locks, "Worried? About me? Do you mean to say that you actually…_like_ me?" he asked her in a purr and she grimaced.

"Not exactly." She replied and he smirked.

"Ah, just your motherly instincts speaking out, hmm?" he leaned slightly forward, "Perhaps I could help you with that." He said as he grasped her wrist and pulled her body to him. He looked up at her for a moment, his eyes intense but then he sighed and leaned his forehead against her stomach.

He sighed, "But I am so tired." He breathed.

Alexandra tried hard not to frown at his absurd behavior, "Then perhaps you should sleep?"

"I don't want to sleep." He snarled and then let go of her. He picked up his quill and glared at the piece of paper in front of him. Alexandra could barely make out the words in the candlelight but before she had the chance to lean down and impudently look at it better, he had grasped it in his hand. He sneered and brought the parchment close to the fire of the candle.

Alexandra watched as he burned it and then blew the ashes away. He abandoned his quill and with a grunt he stood up.

"My Lord?" she frowned as he grasped his coat and put it on.

"Eat the chicken, Alexandra. You're nothing but a little wisp." He grimaced as he looked at her and then promptly walked away.

Alexandra listened as he walked to the front door, opened it and then slammed it shut.

With barely contained irritation, she picked up the food he had discarded so easily, diminished the candles and then walked out of the room.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The corridor was dark as Alexandra stepped through it in the middle of the night. The estate was large and when it was empty it brought chills up and down her spine. She never had trouble sleeping but when she was alone all kinds of noises reached her ears, making it impossible for her to relax and fall asleep.

It was some noises that had alerted her and so she had decided to check. Dawn was a few more hours away and even though she knew who it must have been, as the housekeeper she ought to be aware of everything.

The noises led her to the upper floor and just outside Lord Rochester's chamber. The door was wide open and some of his clothes were discarded carelessly on the floor. Peering inside she froze. The Earl was fast asleep upside down on his bed in his breeches and shirt and another person was fighting hard to escape his tight clutch.

"Um, hello?" Alexandra spoke up and the person stilled.

"Thank God! Come here, please." The voice was feminine and a bit familiar.

Alexandra stepped inside, seeing no threat since the Earl was asleep, and walked over to the large bed.

The curtains were open and as Alexandra looked better she realized that the woman was Jane.

"Something the matter?" Alexandra asked and Jane blew a blond lock of hair away from her face.

"Isn't it obvious?" she asked as she gestured to her trapped limbs. The woman's skirt was up around her thighs and she still had her boots on, staining the pillows as she lay upside down.

Alexandra resisted the urge to grimace and scold.

"I have to go back. He won't let me." Jane whispered and Alexandra frowned.

"Excuse me?"

Jane rolled her eyes and pointed at the Earl's arm that was wrapped around her waist.

"Help me." She whispered and Alexandra cautiously reached for his hand. She placed her own over his and slowly tried to lift it. The man stirred but didn't wake up and she easily lifted his hand without problem.

Jane looked surprised but exhaled with relief before she slowly started to withdraw. Lord Rochester's hand tightened around Alexandra's and she tensed, shocked at how soft and warm it was.

Jane smiled with relief as she slid down and moved from the man's embrace.

"Thank you. Don't worry. He won't wake up." Jane fixed her clothing and patted down her hair, "He hasn't slept for days."

"I know." Alexandra replied and Jane cocked and eyebrow.

"Ah, you must be the maid that has been pestering him." She chuckled and Alexandra tried to pull her hand from the Earl's. She couldn't. She tugged again but he only groaned and tugged harsher on her hand.

She yelped when she lost her balance and fell promptly on the bed next to him, just where Jane had been.

"I do not pester." Alexandra complained while Jane watched on amused.

"Whatever you say, love. Got to go." Jane patted her arm.

"Wait! I can't stay here. He'll kill me in the morning." She hissed as the Earl's arm coiled around her and brought her closer.

"He won't. He might not show it but he'll be grateful for your help." Jane replied with a shrug.

"Help?" Alexandra breathed as the man next to her let out an irritated huff of hot air into her neck and rubbed up against her for a few seconds before he settled down again.

"Don't you know?" Jane asked quietly and Alexandra gulped.

"Know what?" she whispered as she felt her skin tingle from the man's close proximity.

"Lord Rochester cannot sleep alone." Jane replied simply before she grabbed her shawl and tiptoed out of the room, leaving Alexandra alone and terrified.

She listened as Jane walked away and then dared to look at the man whose arm threatened to crush her.

His cheek rested on top of the covers, his lips were parted and pink and his hair was falling over the mattress and across his face as he slept. His knees were brushing against her thigh and she could feel his fingertips against her ribcage, pressing into her body to keep her there.

She exhaled a long breath and looked at the canopy of his bed, trying to keep calm.

_Calm down, Alex. It is just a little while before morning._ She tried to encourage herself as she took deep calming breaths. When she had calmed down some, she allowed her hands to relax and she slowly placed them on her belly. She felt the Earl's forearm muscle flexing under them but he kept on sleeping soundly.

Alexandra spent the dark hours counting the golden leaves on the bed's curtain design.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Alexandra shivered when she felt someone's feather light touch brush over the skin of her collarbone. She stirred and parted her lips as the fingers moved down, further down from her collarbone and disappeared into the valley of her breasts. Her brow furrowed and she gasped before her eyes flew open.

Lord Rochester's chuckle made her look up at him and her eyes widened. He stilled his hand and gazed down at her, his expression strange, his eyes dark.

"Well, well, my little wisp." He murmured as his eyes perused her form, "Hush." He said as soon as he saw her parting her lips to speak, "Not a word." He warned as he slowly moved his hand upwards again, his fingers brushing over the tiny buttons of her nightdress. He popped one open and Alexandra tensed, trying to move away.

"Don't move." He breathed as he slowly leaned down. With the help of his hand he slightly parted the nightdress until he could see her skin. His lips made contact with the top of her breast and she jumped in reaction to his sudden kiss. Sensing her desire to move away, he clasped her arm and brought his face even with hers.

"Let me guess." He started with his head cocked to the side, "Did Jane put you up to this, hmm?"

"I saw her last night, yes. She told me that…that…" Alexandra trailed off after several unsuccessful tries to dislodge her tongue from the roof of her mouth.

"The wench." He smirked as he drew designs on her skin with the tip of his finger.

"I'm sorry." She apologized even though she knew that it was not her fault and that his actions at the moment were far too bold, even for a master.

"Sorry?" he laughed and the sound startled her. Seeing her puzzlement he stopped laughing and smirked down at her, his finger still at the top of her breast, "My dear, I think I have finally found a use for you." He told her and her eyes widened.

"I beg your pardon?" she whispered almost breathlessly. His words even though insulting were doing strange things to her belly…Or was it just his laugh?

Lord Rochester pulled away from her and rolled out of bed, his expression a seductive mask of triumph.

"I think I shall compose a letter of gratitude to the Countess." He announced as he pulled off his shirt right in front of her and picked up a fresh one, "Let us break the fast, hmm? Eggs, if you please." He told her before he walked out of the room.

Alexandra quickly stood up from his bed and righted her buttons, her eyes wide.

"Did he just say..._eggs_?" she whispered into the silence of the room but of course she received no answer.

**End of chapter 3**

**Author's note: Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it. If you have seen the film, you might have noticed the Earl's reluctance to rest…I had to make use of that. :D**

**If you liked it and want more then please review before you go. It's my only payment!**

**Join me on Facebook for news, covers and much more! ;o)**

**Xxx Lina :o) **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Welcome back! Okay, first of all, I would like to dedicate this chapter to _DIONNE DANCE_ because of her and her very inspiring thoughts. She helped me choose the direction of this story. So, this is for you, love, because I know you love our dear Earl despite his sometimes awful character. :D**

**A huge thank you to my reviewers as well: IgnitingFireworks, TinkerbellxO, Jay D. Moore, Frenzy In Delirium, whatcatdidnext, Makrciana, AqoCJeyBee, nuckythompson, skycord1990, XantheXV, Dionne dance, MissMisc3, ForeverACharmedOne, 88dragon06, xoangelwingxo and Leyshla Gisel.**

**You are all amazing for following this story.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_**"Most people can't take being forced to come face-to-face with themselves, so  
they become loud and mean, like baboons looking for a shiny object to distract  
themselves."**_

_**~Damien Echols, Life After Death.**_

The scratching of the quill against the paper stopped abruptly and Alexandra tensed.

She heard the irritated tapping of his boot against the floor and the click of his tongue before she slowly lifted her eyes from her tattered book.

Her eyes met his dark ones and she blinked when all he did was stare at her. He stared so hard and intently that at some point she had to shift nervously in her seat.

"Something the matter, my Lord?" she asked, trying hard not to gulp. The man was so unpredictable at times.

"Are you going to just linger there all evening?" he quirked an eyebrow.

Alexandra's nostrils flared, "You ordered me to sit here whilst you're writing, sir. It was not my choice since my seat is more than just uncomfortable." She fired back and he leaned back in his chair, his lips slowly forming a half smirk.

"Whatever is the matter with the seat?" he asked as he brushed the quill against his lower lip as if in deep thought.

Alexandra looked down at the thin pillow that was under her bottom and then she scowled.

"It's inadequate." She replied and his smirk widened slightly.

"Let me guess, your arse is getting numb." He said and her eyes widened at his choice of words.

"Well, since your Lordship allows the word, yes. My arse _is_ indeed numb. What confuses me is why you are questioning your own orders, my Lord." She replied with a small smirk of her own.

The Earl leaned slightly forward and placed his elbows on the desk and he twirled the quill in his fingers, "Such a foul mouth for a lady." He narrowed his eyes in what seemed like amusement and Alexandra took a deep breath and gazed at her book.

"I am no lady, my Lord. I am just a lowly servant." She replied and he let out a bark of laughter.

"Aren't all ladies servants to their husbands?" he questioned as he grimaced in distaste, "To their whims? It's in your nature to be the submissive ones, to relinquish control." He told her and Alexandra opened her mouth to reply but he wasn't finished.

"And you make us poor, _vain_ and ignorant blokes think that we have all the power when in reality it is you that possess it. A woman can unman a man quicker than his own death." He finished as he threw away the quill and sat up straight in his chair, his expression angry.

"May I speak my mind?" Alexandra ventured hesitantly and he scowled.

"You may…You don't do anything else it seems." He told her with a quirked eyebrow.

"You seem bitter, my Lord…It does not seem like my Lady is the cause of such profound bitterness." She said softly and his eyes narrowed this time in agitation and not in amusement.

"You are too impudent for your own good, Alexandra. So, just because honesty is my worst tendency I will agree with you." He told her as he grabbed his waistcoat and put it on.

"Then-…"

"Do not stretch your legs too far out of my tolerance limit because I will cut them off myself." He warned her and she pursed her lips before she lowered her eyes to her book again.

He huffed, "Aren't you going to make dinner?"

She looked up surprised, "Is my Lord not going out tonight?" she asked and he slowly stood up.

"I am."

"Then I see no reason to waste supplies." She replied, "We are short on them as it were." She murmured even if her stomach growled in response.

She heard his groan before she heard him walking towards her. A moment later he threw a pouch of money to her lap, causing her to jump at the unexpected movement. Gathering the pouch, she quickly stood as he came to tower over her.

"Restock the cellar." He told her and she bowed slightly in reply.

"My Lord." She murmured.

She heard his light breathing and then his whispered words, "Leave the candles lighted in the servants' quarters tonight." He murmured and she stood stock still until he grabbed his coat and walked out.

When she heard the slam of the door, she looked up and bit her lip. So it was going to be one of those nights where he returned late in the night, drunk and eager not to sleep alone. He didn't give in easily in the luxury. Probably because he had to lower his pride and shields while doing so.

Every morning after such a night he would be irritated and rude and abrupt and Alexandra always had the urge to just simply give up and return to Oxfordshire. But she didn't do it. She didn't know why; maybe because she was so fed up seeing him so exhausted and upset. Why she bothered with the sentiment she didn't know because he obviously did not appreciate her efforts.

With a heavy sigh she gathered her book and headed straight for the kitchen, hoping to do something about her growling stomach.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Alexandra heard his footsteps in the corridor outside her chamber but did not look up from her book. That was her new strategy. He seemed to be better behaved if you didn't fuss over him or coddle him like a child. So, when he opened her door and clumsily stepped in she kept her eyes on the written page despite the loud beating of her heart. She heard the clutter of his walking stick as he threw it carelessly on the floor and dared to look at him from under her eyelashes.

His lips were pursed as he walked towards the bed and his face greatly showed his distaste for her room. Alexandra pressed her lips together to contain her anger. His arrogance was as big as his wit. It knew no limits.

She looked at his back when he plopped down close to the edge of the bed and leaned down to wrestle with his boots. When he realized he couldn't remove them he groaned and lay down with a sigh. His hands were spread on the mattress and his right one was brushing against her ankle.

Alexandra tensed when his hand curled around her leg through the covers.

"Come on, sweet. Off with them." He murmured with his slur less profound than other times.

Alexandra pulled her foot from under his hand and stood, hurrying over to remove his expensive boots. It took some effort from her part but after a few moments she had removed them.

A half smirk was on his face as he pushed his body upwards towards the pillow and curled onto his side.

Alexandra gazed at him as he made himself comfortable on her bed and swallowed hard. Hesitating a bit, she reluctantly walked back towards the bed, trying hard to fit onto the narrow mattress without touching him. As she lay down on her back, she stole a glance towards him. His eyes were half lidded but open and he was looking at her. The faint candlelight was making his dark eyes look like the sea on a moonlighted night; black and shiny. She bit her lip. Locks of his hair were falling over his forehead and across his face and brown strands were spread over her pillow.

Her own head rested on the edge of her pillow and her right arm was hanging over the edge of the bed but she didn't dare to press closer. She feared the intimacy with this man.

The Earl sighed and nuzzled the pillow, her pillow, before he let his eyes fall on her again.

"Alexandra…" he murmured with a small smirk, his liquid eyes heavy and disarming at the same time.

"My Lord?" she whispered as she turned her head to diminish one of the candles.

As she turned to do so, she felt his warm hand on her throat, his fingers curling around her slender, tender throat.

She froze but he didn't apply pressure; he just let his hand rest there, his intricately clothed forearm heavy on her chest.

"Alexandra." He repeated with his voice nothing more but a murmur and she had to turn her eyes and look at him.

His lips were parted and as he breathed heavily in and out she could smell the scent of wine on his tongue. She wondered if she could get drunk by that scent alone because he was so close but at the same time so far away. He was right. She needed to stop overstepping her boundaries.

Shaking her head, she focused on his moving lips instead.

"Alexandra…Who is the servant now, Alexandra?" he breathed tiredly, his lips twisting into a snarl momentarily before he let his eyes drop shut.

Alexandra watched him, gazing at the rhythmic rising and falling of his chest as he slept. Her eyes roamed his face and before she knew it she had reached out to push his hair away from his cheek. She allowed her fingertips to briefly touch his skin before she quickly pulled her hand back and covered him with her blanket. He stirred and nestled closer, his arm wrapping fully around her in the process before he went completely still again. The blanket was barely covering her but she had no need of it. His body was exuding enough warm for her to be comfortable and before she knew it, and for the first time, she fell asleep while in the same bed with him.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Alexandra leaned over to pour more wine in the gentlemen's goblets, keeping her eyes lowered. She could feel two pairs of eyes on her but she resisted the urge to look up and glare at them. The Earl would not appreciate it if she glared at his guests to death.

She walked over to Lord Rochester's seat and refilled his own glass. He looked up at her briefly before he smirked and gazed down at his cards again. Just as she was ready to step back, she felt his hand on her lower back. The touch was brief but she had felt it all the same. Pushing the goblet towards him she stepped back completely and came to stand to her corner close to the door.

"The young lass is doting on you, Johnny. Look. My glass is half filled and yet yours is brimming with drink." The shorter and thinner of the two men said and Lord Rochester looked up at him.

"Oh, do not frown, George. The girl just knows that this is all you can drink before you drop down to your knees, begging her to join your bed." The Earl's eyes roamed the man's form, "Your disposition won't allow for much more wine. She's a clever girl." He winked and Alexandra wanted to laugh at the insinuation.

"Are you calling me short, Johnny?" the man asked and the Earl simply smirked.

"Sure he does. Because it's true." The other man, Lord Sackville, in their company spoke up, a smile on his rounded face.

"Oh, to hell both of you." The shorter man muttered before he drew a card and placed it on the table.

"How's writing going, Mr. Etherege?" Lord Rochester asked as he too drew a card and placed it on the table.

"Well. How's your tutoring going? Has she bitten your head off yet?" Etherege asked and the Earl glared at him.

"As you can see I am alive and well." He replied with venom.

"How's the wife feeling about that?" Sackville asked with cheek and the Earl paused.

"Since when we, noblemen, ask our wives for direction? Hmm? You surely don't do that, do you, Charles?" he cocked an eyebrow and the other man rolled his eyes.

"Forget what he does. He doesn't have the respect a nobleman needs." George said and Alexandra quirked an eyebrow. Thankfully no one saw her.

"Yet he is an Earl and you're not." Lord Rochester grinned wickedly as he reached out and picked up his goblet. He took a long sip and let his eyes fall on Alexandra from over the rim of his glass.

Mr. Etherege followed his friend's line of vision and smirked.

"I take it you have not shagged her yet, hence the looks." He remarked and the Earl froze along with Alexandra whose nostrils flared. Lord Rochester swallowed his wine and slowly lowered the goblet from his lips.

"You know, George, this explains why you are not married yet. You don't have a refined bone in your body." He commented as he calmly let his eyes drop onto his cards again.

"And you have?" Mr. Etherege laughed, "When was the last time you didn't sleep at the inn at night?"

"Johnny does not sleep, George. He is too busy to waste his time sleeping." Lord Sackville said and the Earl smiled.

"Ah, there is my real friend. Now, George, you may brood over the fact of your loss." Lord Rochester smirked as he placed his cards on the table and reached for the money at the center of it.

"Alexandra." He called as he beckoned her over with a single finger.

She hesitated but at his sharp look she walked over to him, bowing when she arrived to his side.

"My Lord?" she murmured and he slowly opened the small pouch of money and pulled out a crown.

"For tolerating my disgusting friend over here." He told her as he leaned forward and slipped the coin into her cleavage, his fingers brushing over her skin as he did so.

Alexandra frowned and looked at him only to find him smirking at Etherege who was glaring at him. He put the pouch in his pocket and slowly stood.

"Now, who's up for more drinks?" he asked as he turned and headed for the door.

The two men rolled their eyes but followed him all the same.

She bowed as they walked away but she still felt the deep stare Etherege sent her.

When they were gone, she sighed and pulled out the money. She gazed at it and then she smiled a little. Perhaps she could finally buy that book she wanted after all.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"How did you come back?" Alexandra almost laughed at the sight of Alcock.

He wore a scowl on his face and he looked exhausted.

"You don't want to know." He grumbled as he passed by her and into the house.

"Wait! He's inside! He will not be too content with you coming back without his permission." she called but he paid her no heed.

"Who is it, Alexandra?" the Earl's voice thundered with irritation and she winced as Alcock walked straight into the study.

"It's me, my Lord." Alcock replied as he bowed and grinned.

Lord Rochester slowly looked up from his book and glared at Alexandra who winced.

"Did I order you to come back?" he asked in a deceptively calm voice.

"No, my Lord." Alcock replied.

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I was bored out of my wits at the country, my Lord." Alcock complained and Alexandra covered her face with her hands in defeat

"And how did you come back, Alcock?" The Earl's eyes were narrowed into slits.

Alcock gulped, "I walked."

Lord Rochester groaned and rubbed his eyes with his ink stained fingers, "Alexandra, clean his shoes. He's staining my study floor. _Now_." He looked at her and she quickly nodded.

"Yes."

Alcock smiled at his triumph. The Earl noticed.

"Once you've cleaned and fed him, you can send him right back where he came from. Is that clear?" he told her with a glare and the smile left Alcock's face.

Alexandra cleared her throat, "Perhaps your Lordship wouldn't oppose to him staying for a while. He will be helpful around the house." She said but she flinched when he glared at her.

"Are you questioning my decision, Alexandra?" he narrowed his eyes and she gulped.

"No, my Lord." She shook her head and she heard Alcock sigh.

"Good. Now, do as I said. When you're done prepare me a bath." He leaned back in his chair, propped his feet up on the desk and focused back on his book.

Alcock and Alexandra made their retreat in silence.

**End of chapter 4**

**Author' note: Thank you for reading. Please, please review before you go! It's my only payment.**

**I wanted to include more in this chapter but I thought it'd be too long. So I am saving my other ideas for the next one. :D**

**Join me on Facebook for news and much more!**

**Oh and congratulations to the ladies who won the next chapter's sneak peek! ;o)**

**Xxx Lina **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello and welcome back! A huge thank you to: MissMisc3, guest, AqoCJeyBee, Jay D. Moore, Nefeli Psycho, 88dragon06, nuckythompson, Makrciana, Leyshla Gisel, dionne dance, TinkerbellxO, XantheXV, ForeverACharmedOne and guest. You are all awesome for supporting this story!**

**Another special thank you to _dionne dance_ for finding one of the Earl's poems and pointing it out to me. It totally fits this story so, thank you, love! You rock.**

**This chapter is dedicated to my parents because today they have their anniversary. :o)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

**Chapter 5**

_**~Give me leave to rail at you,**_

_**I ask nothing but my due,**_

_**To call you false and then to say,**_

_**You shall not keep my heart a day.**_

_**But alas! Against my will**_

_**I must be your captive still.**_

_**Ah! Be kinder, then, for I**_

_**Cannot change and would not die.**_

_**Kindness has resistless charms;**_

_**All besides but weakly move;**_

_**Fiercest anger it disarms,**_

_**And clips the wings of flying love.**_

_**Beauty does the heart invade,**_

_**Kindness only can persuade;**_

_**It gilds the lover's servile chain,**_

_**And makes the slave grow pleased again.~**_

_**~Lord John Wilmot.**_

Alexandra tentatively stepped back from the tub while holding onto a large fluffy towel. She lowered her eyes as the Earl walked in and started removing his clothes. His face was set into a severe scowl as he threw his shirt on the ground. It landed on her feet and she pursed her lips, trying hard to keep the irritation from her face. Mutely, she kneeled down and picked up the discarded shirt, placing it over the back of a chair while he shrugged out of the rest of his clothes. When she heard the splash of water, only then, did she look up from the floor.

She heard his low groan as he lowered himself into the hot water and then she felt eyes on her. She raised her eyes to him and he beckoned her closer.

"The soap." He murmured and she placed the towel on the chair and picked up a new bar. She brought it to him and he clasped her hand. She startled and gazed at him as he took the soap from her hand without releasing her.

"I can tell your worst nightmare right now." He said softly, a smirk on his face.

"My Lord?"

"Me asking your assistance to bathe. Am I correct?" he quirked an eyebrow and she tugged her hand from his grasp. His smirk widened. Did the man ever smile?

"You're mistaken. I shall do anything you want me to, my Lord." She told him and he narrowed his eyes in speculation.

"Do you believe that?"

"Sir?"

"Calling me your Lord. Or is it just to placate me? Like everyone else?" he asked her with a sneer and she blinked in confusion.

"I'd never considered you for a fool, my Lord. Surely you know when the title is false." She said as she lowered her eyes and gazed at the bare skin of his chest.

The Earl cocked his head to the side and his mouth twitched with amusement.

"Such a clever girl, you are." He murmured, "And yet you make the same mistake." He told her and when she didn't look at him he spoke up, "Look at me. When I'm talking to you, I want you to look at me." He snapped and she raised her eyes to his. He nodded.

"What mistake, my Lord?"

"That you can achieve your purpose by being kind and sweet spoken. Go on. Say what you want." He waved a hand at her roughly.

"What I want?" she frowned.

"_Yes_. If you didn't want something from me, you'd have left when I entered the washroom. Like every time. Now," he rubbed the soap between his hands and started washing his neck, "What do you want?"

Alexandra licked her lips, "I…I was merely thinking about Alcock, sir. The house is big and errands need to be run."

"Your point?" he spat the words out as he glared at her.

"If he stayed, it'd be great help." She finally blurted out.

Lord Rochester looked at her for a moment before he submerged under the water to soak his hair.

"Then I'd have more time." She added as he emerged and pushed his hair away from his face.

"Is that so? Time to do what? Play the good wife to your Lord?" he grimaced as he said the words.

Alexandra had the sudden urge to slap him.

"Believe me, my Lord, I'd never want that role but alas you have forced it on me." She said, her hands shaking with fury.

He looked up at her and a shadow passed over his features at her words. He recovered quickly and smirked at her.

"Ah, how the words can wound. There is no more lethal weapon than the tongue, is there? It can bring pleasure but oh, so much pain." He murmured as he leaned forward, "It's too bad I am deaf when it comes to insults from maids….and not only." He said sharply and she inhaled quickly at his words.

She pressed her lips into a thin line before she bowed her head and stepped back, "My Lord." She whispered bitingly before she turned to walk out of the washroom.

"He can stay." She heard him snap just before she walked out.

She paused at the door and then walked out with a small smirk of her own.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

She took his coat and walking stick and bowed slightly as he walked into the house, rubbing his hands to warm them.

"My Lord, Lady Elizabeth is here. She said that she received a letter from the King who invited her to court for the day." Alexandra said and he paused.

"I know that." He snapped at her angrily and she inclined her head.

"Does your Lordship desire breakfast? I have fresh eggs and milk with honey." she said as she looked up at him. He stared at her with a scowl for a moment and then spoke.

"Your sweetness sometimes makes me nauseous, girl. Think about that." He muttered before he turned and headed for the stairs, "Let no one interrupt me." He barked as he slammed the door to his study.

Alexandra winced at the sound and glared up, towards the direction of the stairs, before she headed for the kitchen.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Elizabeth!" he snapped and Alexandra hurried up on helping Lady Rochester with her cape.

The woman rolled her eyes and looked at Alexandra, "Does he yell at you like that?"

"Mostly, my Lady." Alexandra smiled.

Lady Rochester turned to her, "He usually does that to the ones that are able to stand him for a long time. Do not let it deter you." She said softly and Alexandra nodded.

"I am not easily bothered, my Lady. Do not worry." She said and the other woman smiled before she headed for the door.

As they appeared at the hall, the Earl rolled his eyes headed for the door, "Finally. Alcock, you stay." He said as the servant started following them.

Alexandra frowned.

"My Lord?"

"_My_ _Lord, my Lord!_ Did you not hear what I say? You're here for the house. Not to follow me around." He shot a glance towards his wife who glared at him and got inside the carriage.

Alcock frowned, "But-…"

The glare the Earl sent him was enough to make him close his mouth with a start.

Alexandra watched as he headed back towards her, his head bowed, while the carriage drove away.

"Come. We'll mop the floors before they're back."

"Mop the floors?" Alcock asked as he groaned and rubbed his eyes, "I did not come back to clean."

"Yes, yes. We all know that he took you with him when he went to the inn or to court or to the whorehouse. If you want to stay here, you have to obey him. Then he might change his mind." She cut him off.

Alcock stared at you, "How are you still here with that tongue of yours? Or has he found a use for it?" he laughed.

Alexandra narrowed her eyes and stepped up to him, "I convinced him to let you stay. Do not make me change his mind because I can_."_ She told him and the smile left his face.

"Sorry." He muttered and her eyes softened.

"Men." She muttered before she turned on her heel and walked away. Alcock followed her obediently, a scowl on his face.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A heavy thud against her door had her shooting up on her bed, her eyes wide. She placed her hand on her chest and frowned when she saw her doorknob shaking, as if someone was trying to open the door. The thunder lit up her room and made her shiver as the chill of the night attacked her bare arms.

"'Lexandra." She heard her name being called in a slight slur.

She froze. She had locked the door because Lady Rochester was staying for the night. He hadn't come back to her for over three days.

He knocked on the door gently but as she refused to speak to him the knocks gained force.

Her eyes widened in fear that Alcock or his wife would hear and that fear caused her to stand from the bed in a hurry.

She unlocked the door and he fell forward and into her arms. She gasped when she felt him against her. His clothes and hair were wet and he was shaking.

"You're soaked." She whispered as he straightened a bit and looked at her.

"Rain." He smirked as he placed his wet hand against her cheek and brushed her hair away.

"I had not noticed." She muttered sarcastically and he snickered, startling her.

"That tongue of yours will be the death of me." He murmured as she maneuvered him towards the servants' washroom.

"I am not sure." She snapped and he frowned.

"What do you mean?" he asked her as she sat him in a chair and leaned down to remove his boots. He looked down at her as she worked and placed his hand on her head gently.

Alexandra paused and looked up at him, "I mean that the drink might kill you quicker, my Lord." She said as she continued her efforts of removing his footwear.

He frowned as he watched her, "I drink for recreation." He slurred, "I don't need it."

She shook her head, feeling the weight of his hand against the back of it, "That's what they all say."

"Ah, but I am not all, little one. I am just persistent." He said as she threw his boots away and reached for a towel to dry his feet.

His hand on her head forced her not to move and her eyes widened when he threaded his fingers in her hair and tugged hard.

She gasped as his ring got tangled in her locks. She winced as he brought her face up to his.

His dark eyes seemed somber all of a sudden, the pupils dilated.

"Do not _ever_ lock me out of that door again. You're in _my_ house. I will not allow another common girl to defy me. I won't stand for it for you as well. Do you understand me?" he whispered in a low voice as his fingers kneaded her scalp. She did not know if the touch intended to hurt her or not.

"My Lord, Lady Rochester is here-…"

"Shut it. I asked you something." He cut her off with a snarl and she could literally feel his lips brushing against her own as he spoke.

"I understand, sir." She whispered and his fingers in her hair loosened until they were merely stroking her. His half smirk caused her anger to flare and she slapped his hand away.

"What ever is the matter now?" he asked her boringly as he slumped against the chair and gazed up at her.

Alexandra breathed deeply through her nose and then swallowed hard, "I shall bring your Lordship your nightclothes." She told him shortly and he smirked yet again without speaking.

When she returned into the room, she found him sitting on the ground with his back against the side of her bed. He had removed his soaked coat, waistcoat and his shirt and he was only in his breeches.

She quickly leaned down and started pulling his dressing gown over his head. He laughed and Alexandra paused. She hadn't heard him laugh like that before.

"My Lord?"

He looked up at her, "Did you bring wine?" he asked as he clumsily pulled his arms through the sleeves.

"No, you are going to sleep now." She said as she quickly unfastened his breeches. His hand closed around her wrist and she gasped.

"If you're going to do that. Do it _slowly_." He murmured hoarsely as he stroked her wrist with his thumb.

"Sir." She snapped as she pulled the breeches away with a quick tug. He laughed again and grasped her arm to pull himself up.

He fell on her bed and looked up at her drowsily, "Such fire…One could easily get burned." He murmured as he turned onto his side.

Alexandra pursed her lips and pulled the covers over his form.

"Do you hate me, girl?" she heard him ask in a whisper and she stilled.

"My Lord?" she frowned.

"Do you hate me too? Do you think me arrogant? Mean? Cruel?" he murmured and she paused. She knew he was not cruel on purpose.

"Hate is a strong emotion, sir. I have not yet met the person who has the ability to place that seed in my heart. I am sorry."

He blinked up at her, "And want? Desire? Have you tasted those fruits?" he asked her as he blinked with heavy eyelids.

Alexandra frowned but when she opened her mouth to respond he had already fallen asleep.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_A few days later…_

The Earl took the hat from Alexandra's hand and placed it upon his head. He gazed at her through the mirror.

"Get dressed. Put on something appropriate…If you have anything that resembles that word that is." He told her with disdain and she paused.

"What for, my Lord?"

He turned and looked at her sideways, "You shall accompany me to the theatre."

Alexandra felt a small smile forming on her lips at those words, "Me?"

He suddenly turned to face her, "Do you see someone else in here? No. Only you are here and you are pestering me with your incessant questions. Why can't you for once do what you're told?" he snapped as he glared at her.

She recoiled, "Isn't it a bit inappropriate for me to accompany you, sir?"

He dismissed her words with a wave of his hand, "Oh, please. They let whores in the playhouse. Why would a maid bother them? Besides, you're probably the only one of them who will be able to comprehend Hamlet. Besides George." He wrinkled his nose.

She tried not to glare at him, "As your Lordship wishes." She bowed slightly and then turned to walk away.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Good Lord, Johnny. The _maid_?" Lord Sackville frowned, "We could have found you company if you so wished it." He chuckled and the Earl rolled his eyes.

"You won't be remembered for your wit, Charles. That's for sure. Come." He motioned forward with his head and Alexandra followed him into the theatre.

He paid for her entrance as well and then he headed straight for his usual seat.

Mr. Etherege was already there and as soon as he saw them he started chuckling.

"Yearning number two? Oh this is going to be crowded." He said and Lord Rochester shot him a look of absolute distaste.

"Be a little witty and shut your mouth, George. Do as all a favor." He pointed next to his seat with a hand and Alexandra came to stand behind it as he sat down.

Her eyes perused the theatre and she could see that it was going to be crowded indeed. Most of the seats were already taken and more people were coming in.

Lord Rochester removed his hat and handed it to her, looking up at her as he did so. She took it and sighed gently as they waited for the play to start.

The loud voices from the people ceased immediately and everybody in the theatre went quiet when the lights became less bright. The actors slowly entered the stage for the first scene and Alexandra finally found the chance to look up from her place near the entrance of the box. She straightened her back in order to look better and she tried hard to ignore the way her legs throbbed from standing for so long next to the Earl's seat. She could feel Mr. Etherege's eyes on her but she paid him no heed because the play had already begun.

The words flowed from the actors' mouths and Alexandra gradually, and against her will, got enthralled by the writer's words. As she watched the play unfold in front of her eyes, she forgot all about her aching feet and Mr. Etherege's stares. Along with her care for those things, she also let her shields down as well.

The first scene passed all too soon and not long after the actors for the second scene entered the stage. One of them was a woman. She was different from the women you usually saw on stage. She was neither beautiful nor refined but as she opened her mouth and started delivering Ophelia's speech everybody in the theatre could not take their eyes from her.

It was that fact that made Alexandra look at Lord Rochester. Sure enough, his eyes were on the actress. But as she allowed her eyes to linger on him a little longer she noticed that his gaze was flickering towards her as well, a deep frown upon his fine face. Alexandra blinked and turned her attention back to the play. She could not ignore the fact that the Earl's eyes were on her still. So when she dared to look back at him she noticed him beckoning her closer.

With a thick swallow she leaned closer and she gasped when his arm curled around her stomach. With a tug he brought her onto his lap and she froze with her arms suspended from her body in shock.

"Shhh." He murmured into her ear and for the first time she did not smell wine on his breath, "Watch." He carried on in that same murmur and she looked forward towards the stage.

She heard Mr. Etherege snort behind them but it was obvious that the Earl either did not hear or did not care for his friend's criticism.

She felt her master's arm tightening around her before he started speaking again.

"Imagine what the woman could have done if she not only possessed her talent but also _your_ beauty. Just imagine." He breathed and Alexandra frowned. He too was taken by the actress as well.

"My Lord?"

"Imagine how the heart would be pierced then…" he trailed off while pressing her more tightly to his lap.

Alexandra's breath hitched when he pulled her closer and she swallowed thickly when she noticed that his gaze was fixated on the actress. She looked back towards the stage and tried to remove herself from his lap. When he noticed he held her fast and pressed her even more tightly to him.

Alexandra tried to calm down and she took a deep breath, willing her tense muscles to uncoil but she couldn't. He was too close; so close that she could feel his breath on her neck and his body underneath her. She tried to balance herself on his lap and he clicked his tongue before he grasped her thighs. With his grip he spread them so that each one of her legs was resting on either side of his. That balanced her and pulled her even closer quite effectively. She blanched.

"My Lord," she whispered and he squeezed her waist in reply, "People are watching."

He smirked, "My reputation cannot get any worse." He told her and she startled when his teeth flicked her earlobe, "Besides, you are _so_ warm." He breathed with his eyes locked on the stage.

Alexandra breathed in sharply and stared forward. When his other hand joined the first one around her stomach she had finally had enough.

With a shake of her head she pushed his hands away and stood up. He let her with a satisfied smirk and he placed his empty hands on his thighs. Etherege watched them with curiosity.

"You _felt_ something out of the ordinary?" the Earl asked her and she flushed, "Good. Find Jane. Tell her to come to me." He waved a hand at her and she almost gaped at him.

Without a word, she turned and fled the box with her skin tingling from his touch.

**End of chapter 5**

**Author's note: Thank you for reading. If you've made it this far, then please review! It's my only payment. Please? :D**

**Join me on Facebook for news and much more!**

**Xxx Lina :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello and welcome back. I shouldn't be updating this so soon when so few are enjoying this and I _should_ probably focus on my either stories more but I so enjoy writing this. So, I am posting this earlier as a huge thank you to my wonderful reviewers for their continuous support: TinkerbellxO, Makrciana, nuckythompson, dionne dance, 88dragon06, xSealiee, Jay D. Moore, ForeverACharmedOne, XantheXV, Leyshla Gisel and AqoCJeyBee. You are all awesome!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine. I only own the plot and my OC.**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

"**Womankind more joy discovers,**

**Making fools, than keeping lovers."**

**~John Wilmot**

"Maybe you should start working here, girl. We could use a seamstress like you." Molly Luscombe commented and Alexandra looked up from the gown she had been mending to smile sadly.

"Unfortunately I am otherwise engaged." She replied as she looked around, trying to see if the Earl was anywhere to be seen. He wasn't.

"I was told you're in Lord Rochester's service?" Molly asked as she leaned down to inspect the work.

"Yes."

"Shouldn't you be trailing behind him?" Molly asked with narrowed eyes.

"If I knew where he has disappeared into, I would. But then again, I don't think I'd be needed…If you know what I mean." Alexandra whispered and Molly snickered.

"Oh, I know. Fine then, I will be sure to thank the Earl for your help." Molly patted her shoulder before she walked away to talk to the actors.

Alexandra sighed.

_You should thank me, not him._ She thought with a scowl as she pushed the needle with the thread through the material of the gown with more force than necessary.

When she was almost done, she felt a presence close to her. Startled, she looked up and frowned. It wasn't who she was expecting. It was the actress everyone had been staring at; Elizabeth Barry.

"You have my dress finished? I need it for a fitting." The woman said and Alexandra wanted to gape at her. Her tone was flat, almost cold and her eyes…her eyes were not shining like they had been when she was on stage. That was the woman who had been acting with such emotion? The way she stood reminded Alexandra of her old stone walled house…The one she had been living in with her mother when she was little. It was nice looking from afar but up close and inside it was so cold and uninviting. Like the snow.

"Um, yes. It's done. It only needed some work on the sleeves-…"

"Are you the new seamstress?" Barry asked and Alexandra paused. Was the woman's tone sarcastic or not? She could not tell.

"No, I am not. I am-…"

"I know who you are. You're Lord Rochester's maid. He's been asking for you." Barry replied as she took the dress from Alexandra's hands and stepped back.

"Oh." Alexandra was dumbfounded but she stood up from her perch.

"Alexandra!" Lord Rochester's voice made her jump.

Elizabeth Barry snorted and quickly walked away with the dress.

"Where have you been? I've been searching for you for half an hour." He scowled as he looked at her up and down, his gaze lingering on her golden colored dress.

Alexandra remained silent, her gaze averted, "Go and wait for me outside." He ordered and with a last look at her, he headed towards the direction Barry had gone.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Whatever is wrong with you, girl? Are you unable to follow a direct order?" he stormed into the house and found her by the fireplace.

She looked up from the fire she had just made and bowed her head.

"Your-…"

"Or do you really enjoying irritating me?" he cut her off and her cheeks flushed with fury while her eyes welled up with angry tears.

"I waited for an hour out in the cold. I am sorry if your Lordship found it unacceptable for me to return from a place where obviously I was not needed." She replied with irk.

He threw away his walking stick, removed his hat and got rid of the wig, letting his natural curls fall over his face like a halo.

"You walked back on foot?" he almost spat the words and she slowly stood.

"What else, my Lord?" she replied stoically and he scowled.

He took a deep calming breath, "Do leave the niceties aside, Alexandra. I can see the anger burning you like that fire is burning the wood over there." He said and she looked up.

"My anger shall remain unspoken, my Lord. I find no use expressing it upon deaf ears." She replied and his nostrils flared.

He took a few steps closer to her, his fists curling, "Do you enjoy provoking me? Or is this…unrefined inclination you have only a family trade?" he spat as his eyes took in her flushed cheeks and shiny eyes.

"Probably both, sir." She replied and he reared his head back, studying her.

"I wonder…" he murmured as he grasped her chin and looked at her closely, "Are those tears of sadness or anger?…Oh, but no. I do not think you are sad…No. You are angry, furious even. But why?" he pondered and she glared at him.

"It can't be because I took you to a play…No." he shook his head and she pulled her chin out of his hold, "Tell me. What was it? Was it the wait or the prostitute?" he asked her with obvious interest.

Alexandra wrinkled her nose, "Why would that interest you?"

He smirked, "Because I wonder when you will finally explode and leave me out of your room once and for all. I wonder when it will be the time when you won't care who is listening. I am eagerly expecting it." He said and she frowned.

"Why? Why would you expect something like that?" she blurted out and he stepped back.

"I'd like to see your limits. Sadly I have very short ones…I get easily diverted. You seem to be the exact opposite. You're intent on your purpose." He said as he turned on his heel and headed for the stairs.

"What purpose?" she called after him.

He paused and craned his neck before he replied, "Of enslaving me forever in your debt. That purpose." He said just before Alcock appeared.

"My Lord?" he smiled but the Earl only looked at him once before he disappeared upstairs.

Alexandra stared after him with wide eyes, pondering over the possibility of his words to be true…

She inhaled sharply and looked at her feet. Was she trying to…_control_ him just because he was using her for his own peace of mind? For a few hours of rest? At that she paused, ignoring Alcock's questions.

Another thought came into her mind; why did he choose her for that? He didn't even really know her. Then it came to her. He couldn't go to his wife because the idea of giving her that kind of power seemed absurd to him; unthinkable. He couldn't go to one of the women at the inn or the whorehouse because they had to be paid and finally, he could not go to Barry because she was so cold and distant that he'd make a fool out of himself simply by insinuating that he wanted to share her bed for that purpose.

She was the lesser of evils. She was just an invisible bystander that was useful without causing too much grief. She was paid to be submissive; she was hired to do as she was told without question. She was _replaceable_.

The thought shook her so much that her entire body shuddered as if someone had thrown her into an ice cold lake in mid-January.

"Alex?" Alcock's voice made her blink and only then did a frozen tear slid down her cheek.

"Are you alright?" Alcock touched her arm and she shook her head.

"I need to make dinner." She muttered before she stepped around him and then headed straight for the kitchen.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_Days later…_

Alexandra swallowed thickly, her fists curling around the fabric of the blanket before she dared to knock softly and peer inside the study.

It was after midnight.

As she looked into the room, her eyes found and locked with those of the actress. She froze, not knowing if she should approach or not.

She could see the Earl sitting in his lush armchair with the woman on his lap. His head was turned slightly to the side, resting against the back of the chair. He was sound asleep, his lips slightly parted as he breathed evenly in and out, while his arms were wrapped around the woman's stomach.

Scattered papers, probably his work, were all around the floor and the fire in the hearth seemed ready to burn out.

Lizzie Barry, as her lord called the woman, was wide awake though. In fact, she looked more than a little irritated as she pushed the man's hands away and leaned forward, ready to flee his embrace.

"Um, I brought you a blanket. It's quite cold." Alexandra finally found her voice but the woman was already putting her shoes on.

"I am leaving anyway." Barry murmured and Alexandra could see the Earl already shifting in his sleep, his body shuddering against the chill of the room.

On an impulse, she stepped forward and unfolded the blanket before she draped it over Rochester's form. He stirred but didn't open his eyes.

Alexandra turned to look at the other woman and frowned when she saw her pocketing one of the papers from the ground.

"What are you doing? That's his work." Alexandra spoke up before she could stop herself and the actress stared at her in disbelief before she replied.

"He wrote it for me. Would you like to see the dedication?" she whispered and Alexandra bit her tongue hard in order not to reply but she couldn't help herself, "Perhaps you should have stayed where you were then. As a thank you, you see." she said and the actress gave a small frozen smile before she grabbed her shawl and walked out of the study with her head held high.

Alexandra was ready to leap forward in an instinctive attempt to go after the woman but a hand on her wrist made her freeze.

He was awake.

_Of course, he is._ She thought with dread before she slowly looked down at him.

He was looking up at her, his eyes half lidded and heavy from sleep. His mouth was lifted up at the corners a little while he shook his head at her.

"No." he murmured as he shifted in his seat and opened the blanket. With a tug he had her in his lap in a flash. He wrapped his arm around her and covered her with the blanket before he rested back against the chair.

"You cannot make people live their life to please you, Alexandra." He murmured hoarsely and she turned her head to look at him.

She frowned and he placed his finger against her lips to silence her, "Especially not the vain ones." He added before he let his cheek rest against her bosom with a tired sigh.

Alexandra looked down upon his head and frowned. If he knew how the woman was…why did he dote on her?

_Because it is in human nature to love what's worse for them. That is why. _She thought bitterly as he pulled his head away and gazed up at her.

His expression changed then, it became stoic and flat.

"Go get me a drink." He murmured as he pushed lightly on her lower back to propel her forward on his lap.

Alexandra stood up quickly, causing the blanket to slip down to the floor.

He regarded her for a moment and then placed a hand on her hip, pulling her body close to his face. He rested his forehead against the small bump of her belly before he started speaking again.

"Tell me," he looked up and as he spoke his lips were brushing against her stomach, "Who is the lover here? Me or her?" he asked and she frowned.

"My Lord?" she asked gently as she on an impulse touched his pale cheek. He shuddered at the touch and his eyelids fluttered.

"Who do you think is betraying their first love?" he continued and she frowned.

"My Lord, she is free." She said with confusion and he narrowed his eyes.

"Is she? Did you feel like she's a woman free to love someone else?" he asked her quietly while his hands rested firmly on her hips.

"Someone else? Forgive me, my Lord, but it is you who is married." Alexandra murmured and he laughed.

"You think she is not married? She is." He said as he gazed at his scattered papers with some form of distaste.

"She is?"

"To the stage of the Dukes Theatre. Right at the Dorset Gardens… Acting can be a demanding lover…A persistent one." He murmured and then looked up at her, "So who is the lover? Me or her?" he asked her and she licked her dry lips. She took a look around the room and saw the empty bottle by the armchair. He was drunk; thus, the open discussion of his mistress.

"My Lord should go to bed. It is late and it is very cold in here." She said as she leaned down to pick up the blanket. He released her with force and she stumbled back, letting go of the cloth in the process.

Her wide eyes found his scowling face, "Master?"

"I hate it when you coddle me." He muttered as he stood up from the chair and promptly sat down on the floor, among his work, "Take your bloody blanket and go." He said as he glared up at her, "I am bothering to converse with you and you're talking to me as if I am Charles; a mere child that needs to be petted because he doesn't understand. Now get out." He snapped and she narrowed her eyes.

"Your Lordship is drunk and tired and should not take his anger out on me." She snapped and his scorching glare almost made her stumble for a second time.

He slowly stood and walked up to her. He threaded his fingers through her hair and fisted her strands in his hand tightly, making her wince.

"Trust me, Alexandra. It is better to be in the receiving end of my anger than at the receiving end of my lust. And with you I can jump from one emotion to the other so fast that even your mere presence has started giving me headaches." He hissed.

Her eyes widened and she gulped.

"So, stop crossing me and get out." He spat.

With that he released her and she staggered away from him, her eyes wide and her lips pressed together into a tight line of fury.

He returned to the floor and sat down before he grabbed a paper and scrunched it up into a ball. He threw it away with a snarl and it landed on her foot. She looked at him and she saw that his attention was elsewhere.

Subtly, she pushed the ball of paper behind her and towards the door before she turned and walked out in silence.

Once she had shut the door, she leaned down and picked up the piece of paper he had discarded so easily. She headed for her room quickly and when she was inside, she sat on her narrow bed and smoothed out the wrinkles on the paper.

Her eyes gazed at her door nervously once before she started reading it.

_My dear mistress has a heart  
Soft as those kind looks she gave me,  
When with love's resistless art,  
And her eyes, she did enslave me;  
But her constancy's so weak,  
She's so wild and apt to wander,  
That my jealous heart would break  
Should we live one day asunder._

_Melting joys about her move,_  
_Killing pleasures, wounding blisses;_  
_She can dress her eyes in love,_  
_And her lips can arm with kisses;_  
_Angels listen when she speaks,_  
_She's my delight, all mankind's wonder;_  
_But my jealous heart would break_  
_Should we live one day asunder._

Alexandra sighed and looked up from the paper, not even trying to guess for who it was. She read it one more time before she folded it carefully and put it under her pillow with care. She patted the pillow and then stood up to get ready for bed, knowing that she stood stop analyzing the man. It was of no use anyway.

**End of chapter 6**

**Author's note: Thank you for reading. If you have reached this far then please leave me some feedback. It's good to know you're reading, I can see that from the story status, but it is very important to let me know what you think so that I know how I am doing and what you like or dislike.**

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**Xxx Lina :o) **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Welcome back! A huge thank you to: 88dragon06, Makrciana, nuckythompson, Jay D. Moore, ForeverACharmedOne, powergirl24, skycord1990, Leyshla Gisel, JessicaDwyer, XantheXV, TinkerbellxO, xoangewingxo, AqoCJeyBee and guest.**

**A special thank you to _DIONNE DANCE_ for all her inspiring comments and great help. We have made it our goal to study the Earl's poetry together! Yep! :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

_~There can be no danger in sweetness and youth,_

_Where love is secured by good nature and truth,_

_On her beauty I'll gaze and of pleasure complain,_

_While every kind look adds a link to my chain.~_

_~To This Moment A Rebel, John Wilmot_

The water was scorching hot as she dipped her hand into it but Alexandra was determined to remove the stain. It also helped her with her sour mood. It was not an easy thing to push a very drunk and amorous Alcock away. It was a novelty actually because it was usually the Earl who was in need to be picked up after a whole day at the inn. Adding Alcock was just adding insult to injury. She was a bloody housekeeper, not a children's caretaker.

At that she paused in her scrubbing and mulled the thought over. Men were a bit like small children really. They needed to be petted and looked after but they just didn't know it…Or they simply did not want to admit it.

She released a small groan and carried on scrubbing the soap over the red stain of the otherwise white shirt, choosing to ignore a certain voice that was calling her name from the parlor. She had chosen to be deaf for the time being or else she'd never get a job done in that house.

She didn't have to wait long because the door of the washroom was pushed open five minutes later.

She didn't stop what she was doing and she heard a small chuckle.

"What in hell are you doing so early in the morning?" Lord Rochester asked as he pushed the door fully open and leaned against it.

As she looked up, she noticed that he held a glass in his hand. She gritted her teeth and scrubbed harder.

"Washing your clothes, my Lord." She replied as she turned the shirt upside down and continued torturing it with the bar of soap.

The Earl quirked an eyebrow and he spoke after taking a sip from his drink, "Are you this…vigorous in all your…_activities_?" he asked with a wicked glimmer in his eyes and she looked up at him, her cheeks flushed.

"I wouldn't know. I'd have to have experience to answer you that question." She replied with cheek and his eyebrow almost disappeared under his hairline while his eyes did a quick perusal of her body.

"Experience…Experience is easily acquired if you so desire it." He said as he pushed away from the door and approached her, "Personally I do not think it guarantees the pleasure, if you know what I mean." He winked and finished his drink in one go.

Alexandra's shoulders slumped and she sighed, "Isn't it a bit too early for wine, sir?" she asked instead and he grimaced.

"Do you have a better suggestion to relieve the morning boredom?" he asked as he placed the glass on a stool and crossed his arms over his chest. The sleeves fell back a little and revealed his ink stained hands.

"I would suggest some warm milk or a cup of tea for the nerves." She said as she wrung water out of the shirt and looked up at his scowling face, "Or if I were free to use my time as I pleased, I'd read…or I'd write if I possessed your talent." She said timidly.

He paused at that and approached her. He proceeded to crouch down in front of her.

She tensed.

"First of all, I despise milk. Second of all tea is for the masses and I try to divert from other people's path. And thirdly, how do you know that my writing is any good?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow and a seriously intrigued expression on his handsome face.

Alexandra tried hard not to gulp and simply shrugged, "Ms. Barry seemed quite taken with the poem you wrote for her…I imagine it is…good." She sputtered and he narrowed his eyes.

"Is that so?" he murmured as he searched her face.

She blinked and averted her eyes quickly but then she felt his hand on her arm. She gasped as he hauled her to her feet and dragged her out of the washroom and towards his study.

"My Lord, my hands are soaked! I am dripping all over the floor!" she yelped but he only rolled his eyes and thrust her inside his study.

He released her and walked over to his desk. He rummaged around his papers and then produced a half blank one.

"Read it." He thrust it towards her and his words were a firm command.

She swallowed thickly, "I…"

"I said read it. I want your opinion." He waved the verses impatiently at her and she nervously took the paper from his hand.

"Why would you want my opinion?" she asked quietly and he smirked.

"Because you're a woman. Now read it. Out loud." He said as he enunciated every single word like he was speaking to a child.

Alexandra's cheeks flushed under his scrutinizing stare but she licked her dry lips and started delivering.

"Let me still languish and complain, be most inhumanly denied: I have some pleasure in my pain, she can have none with all her pride-…"

"Enough." He snatched the paper from her and threw it unceremoniously on his desk, "Well?" he asked and she sputtered for a moment.

"I suppose it…can describe…the um, lady well." She got out at last and he narrowed his eyes.

"Explain." He twirled his finger at her in a signal to carry on.

"Well, she…" Alexandra trailed off, not knowing if she should speak her mind about his lover but he seemed amused.

"Do speak your mind." He said as he walked around the desk towards her.

"If I speak my mind, your Lordship might do not like it." She said and he smiled.

"Why is that?"

"Because…your opinion might be different."

"If it were different how do you explain those lines?" he quirked an eyebrow and she swallowed hard.

"Anger can make us say things that we do not mean."

The Earl smirked, "I never write in anger, my little saint." He whispered as he brushed a single finger down her cheek.

"I am not one." She said as his finger slid down her neck.

"Oh, I think you are. You are not speaking your mind because you're afraid of insulting someone even when I have given you leave to do so. I wonder if she'd pay you the same respect if she knew. She surely hasn't so far." he said and she tensed.

"I beg your pardon?"

He smirked, "Oh, I have your attention now." He said with amusement and she pulled out of his reach.

"I am sorry, my Lord, but I do not care what anyone has to say about me since they do not know me. I'd appreciate it if you did not make me a part of your liaison with Ms. Barry since we both share the same sentiments about each other. And if you so care for my opinion, I'd say that it is a pity that someone so rude can have any part of a man's affection." She snapped and then squeezed her mouth shut.

He didn't seem angry however; only thoughtful and…troubled.

"I apologize." She said quietly and he grasped her chin. With a small push, her eyes locked with his and her breath hitched as his thumb brushed over her lower lip.

"You are honest…A rare trait in a woman…" he said quietly and her eyes widened when the tip of his finger passed through her lips and stroked the inner flesh of her bottom lip.

Alexandra pulled her head back and his finger slipped out of her mouth. He pinched her chin and then stepped back.

"You may arrange my work by category; poems and essays. Do not loose anything." He told her before he turned on his heel and walked out of the study.

Alexandra stared after him in shock.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Alex, this is for you." Alcock yawned and handed her a letter.

She paused chopping up onions and wiped her hand on a cloth before she took it from him.

"Thank you." She put it in her pocket and then put the vegetables into the steaming pot.

"Won't you read it?" he asked as he looked at her.

"Not yet. I have to clean up the study and finish this…Are you sure you didn't lose any of his letters?" she asked him with a raised eyebrow and he scowled.

"I am sure." He muttered and she nodded.

"Good. Because I will get in trouble again if he finds out that I allowed you to take his correspondence." She said as she put the lid on the pot and then walked around the counter.

"Where are you going?" he asked as he grabbed an apple and started eating it.

She paused, "Unlike some, I have work to do. Keep an eye on the dinner." She said before she disappeared.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Is the Earl not back yet?" a cool, feminine voice startled Alexandra and she quickly looked up from the pile of parchments.

Elizabeth Barry stood in the doorway with her cape in her hands.

"He is taking his nighttime bath." Alexandra replied as she placed a few papers on the desk and rearranged the quills and ink.

When she looked back up, she found the actress watching her with a frown.

"Ma'am?"

"He allows you to see his work?" her voice held a tone of surprise and something else.

"My Lord has appointed me the duty of tidying up his study, yes. Is there something wrong?" Alexandra quirked an eyebrow in challenge and the woman pressed her lips into a thin line.

"You wouldn't think it is." Barry replied and Alexandra frowned.

"Pardon?"

"I've apparently taken the wrong poem. I am here to give it back." The actress said as she approached and placed the paper on the desk.

"Well, that you have to say it to-…"

"Alexandra, get out." The Earl's voice made both women turn their faces towards the door.

He was in his robe and his hair was still wet.

Alexandra immediately bowed her head and made to step around the desk when Barry spoke up.

"No reason for her to do that. I won't stay." She said and the Earl frowned.

"Lizzie?"

"I am here to return this." She held up the parchment and the Earl's eyes narrowed.

"Why?"

"Apparently I took the wrong one." She glared at Rochester and he frowned.

"Did it anger you?" he asked as he approached the woman, "You should have paid closer attention to detail then for you surely know that I do not give women love letters; not when they do not fully deserve it." He said quietly and Alexandra's eyes widened.

He did write affectionate letters to his wife; she had witnessed it just the other day.

"Perhaps my wit is not as sharp as yours, my Lord." Elizabeth replied, "But if you pay attention you may find that your gifts lack the value of your status." She said bitterly and the Earl smirked before he pushed her cape away to reveal her plain dress.

"I see…You have found a better provider I take it?" he fingered the silver pin on her dress and Alexandra stared at it with wonder. It was beautiful.

Realizing her stare she bowed her head and tiptoed towards the door.

"You do not think you're the only one, do you?" she asked incredulously and he stiffened, "You didn't come to the rehearsal." Barry said in a low voice and he cocked his head to the side.

"I was busy."

"Drinking?"

"I find it to be quite the hard work." He replied bitingly and before Alexandra had the chance to escape his hand shot out and grasped her arm.

Elizabeth stiffened when he pulled her in front of his body and coiled an arm around her stomach, pressing her tightly to him.

"Go. You think I need you? What I get from you I can have it for free or for just half a crown at the nearest street corner. What you cannot give me I can also have it within a few hours in Oxfordshire." He spat at her from over Alexandra's shoulder.

What was he doing? From his touch alone she could sense that his hold was not meant to be erotic…It seemed more possible that he was using her as a shield. To what though? To rejection? As defense to the woman's biting words? To show her that she too was as replaceable as he was to her?

"That's why you cannot be loved, John. You polished my talent but you cannot ever shine as brightly as it can because you cannot feel." Barry said quietly before she turned and walked out of the room.

Alexandra gaped after her and wondered of the cheek of the woman. She was speaking to an Earl and yet she had the courage to talk like that. She was also speaking to the man who was obvious in love with her.

As the seconds ticked by she did not dare move because she could feel the rush, heavy breathing of the man against her on the side of her face. Her hands were suspended from her body, not daring to touch him back but when he did not release her she lowered them and placed her palms gently on top of his hands that were tightly clutching her stomach.

"My Lord?" she whispered and he inhaled deeply, his tremulous exhalation a warm gust of air against her hair.

"Now I know how it is to be in the receiving end of pure, unadulterated honesty." He murmured before he abruptly released her and turned away from her. He grabbed Elizabeth's poem from his desk and ripped it into tiny pieces before he walked over to the fireplace. He threw them into the fire and then leaned against the mantelpiece.

Alexandra watched as he placed a hand on his lower belly and grimaced as if in pain. He took a deep breath and then he spoke.

"Pour me a drink." He murmured and for once she did not object.

She walked to the liquor cabinet he kept fully stocked in his study and poured him a glass of wine.

She brought it to him and he pulled his hand away from his belly to take it from her hand in silence. She took a step back and watched his profile as he took one, two sips and then he turned to look at her.

"Leave me." He murmured and she quickly nodded before she walked away, a heavy feeling deep in her gut.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

She tugged at the strings of her nightdress tightly and then opened her door to lock the front door. Cursing at her own thoughtlessness she stepped into the chilly corridor and headed for the foyer. She hadn't taken a few steps when she saw him.

"Good Lord!" she exclaimed as she rushed over to him and kneeled down, "Are you alright? What ever is the matter?" she asked as she placed a hand over his on his stomach.

"Nothing." The Earl hissed as he squeezed his eyes shut and leaned his head back against the wall.

Alexandra touched his cheek and he flinched.

"You're burning up, my Lord. Are you ill?" she asked and he gritted his teeth.

"What does it look like?" he snarled as he grasped her arm and squeezed it tightly.

"What can I do?"

"Can you help me get rid of kidney stones?" he asked and she frowned.

"No…But I can get you lots of water so you can get rid of them on your own." She said quietly as she took his hand and hauled him up. He groaned and leaned against her with a hand cradling his lower back.

She led him to her own room and made him lie down before she fetched him a water pitcher.

She poured him a glass and handed it to him. He took it and took a few sips before he stopped and looked up at her.

"How do you know about the water?" he asked as he sipped more.

"My mother suffered from them…She still does sometimes. I think they need to get out. That's why it hurts so much right now." She explained as she placed a cold compress on his forehead and smiled.

He frowned up at her and the smile left her face, "What?"

"You're different…" he murmured and she frowned.

"I'm sorry?"

He rolled his eyes and winced before he replied, "From the other servant girls. You are no ragdoll. I imagine you're going to make me pay for insinuating that I am shagging you in front of Lizzie." He said with a slight, painful smirk and she flushed.

"Well, I had planned to hide the wine." She said with a small smile and he released a hoarse chuckle before he reached up and captured her chin between his two fingers.

She paused and looked down at him, "You'd do me a good service, my little saint." He murmured before he groaned again and released her.

"Sir?"

He opened his eyes and grinned at her, "I think it's time for the chamber pot." He told her and her eyes widened before she complied.

Two hours later he was calmer and sound asleep in her bed with his head buried against her pillow.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Here you go, my Lord. Nice and sweet milk." Alexandra announced as she stepped into her room with the tray.

She froze when she saw him holding a parchment in his hands.

He looked up at her, his eyes wild, "What is this?" he asked as he held up the unread letter she had placed under her pillow along with his poem.

Her eyes widened, "I…I am not sure, my Lord. I did not read it." She said and he stood up with a wince.

"You did not read it?" he repeated slowly, "Do you think me for a fool, woman? Why is my mother writing to you, asking for information about my relationship with the King?" he barked at her and she gulped.

"I…I have no idea, sir. I did not read it because I did not have time-…"

"Are you here to spy on me, you little wench? Do you repeat everything I say back to my mother?" he cut her off sharply and she shook her head.

"Why would I do that, my Lord? Why would she?" she asked shakily as she saw him shaking with fury.

"Because she wants money from him. That's why. The commission her son gets is not enough because he spends it on drink and whores. Isn't it obvious?" he stood up and approached her, "Well, here is the answer I want you to say to my mother when you leave," he said as he leaned down towards her, "She can take the commission and shove it right up where it belongs." He hissed as he threw the letter at her and then held up another paper.

Alexandra jumped when he pushed the tray out of her hands, causing it to clatter loudly against the wooden floor. The cup of milk broke into tiny little pieces and some of them found her legs.

"As for this," he took a deep breath, "I underestimated you, Alexandra. You can lie and you lie very well. Like all of them." He whispered as he looked into her eyes, "Did you like it? Did the verses excite you? Hmm? Well, consider it as a gift from me." He grabbed her hand and shoved the poem in it before he pushed her away.

"Now get out of my sight. I want you gone in an hour." He told her with a grimace as he looked her up and down once and then stepped around her to walk out of the room.

His footsteps echoed down the corridor as Alexandra stood frozen near the door, clutching tightly onto the wrinkled piece of paper.

**End of chapter 7**

**Author's note: Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it. If you did, please leave me some feedback! It's my only payment and it feeds the muse.**

**Join me on Facebook for update news and much more!**

**Xxx Lina :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello and welcome back! I am so glad you all seemed to like the last chapter. Please continue telling me your thoughts. It's very appreciated and needed.**

**So, a huge kiss and hug to my reviewers: 88dragon06, MissMisc3, Robotdonkey, nuckythompson, LadyAmazon, skycord1990, ForeverACharmedOne, xSealiee, Leyshla Gisel, XantheXV, Makrciana, Chelly, dionne dance, xoangelwingxo, Balder Rask, AqoCJeyBee, TinkerbellxO and flow3rchild21.**

**I was amazed that so many of you liked it! **

**Song suggestions for this chapter: _Back To You_ by Brett Anderson and _Born To_ _Die_ by Lana Del Rey.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

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**Chapter 8**

_**When innocence, beauty, and wit do conspire**_

_**To betray, and engage, and inflame my desire,**_

_**Why should I decline what I cannot avoid?**_

_**And let pleasing hope by base fear be destroyed?**_

_**~To This Moment A rebel by John Wilmot**_

_Adderbury, Oxfordshire, A week later…_

A small hand grabbing onto her skirt made Alexandra look down, her hands still on the clothes she had started hanging out to dry. The blond curls of young master Charles greeted her and she bit her lip when she heard the voice of his mother calling out for him.

"Young Master?" she asked with a small smile as the child buried his face in her skirt in a vain effort to hide.

"Hide me." The child murmured conspiratorially and she smiled.

"Why?" she asked in a hushed voice, indulging him by pushing him behind her.

"Mother wants me to go to church." He whispered and Alexandra frowned.

"And you don't want to?" she asked just as Lady Elizabeth rounded the corner and approached the back garden.

The child shook his head in the negative and Alexandra smiled.

"Have you seen Charles, Alexandra? He disappeared on me." Lady Elizabeth asked as she approached. She spotted her son behind Alexandra's form and she sighed.

"Charles, get out from there. I can see you." She laughed and the child looked at his mother.

"Will you tell father?" he asked quietly and Alexandra stiffened. She wondered if the Earl cared if his son wanted to go to church or not.

"No, my love. Now come here or we'll be late. Your grandmother will be angry." Lady Elizabeth said softly and the child heaved a sigh before he walked over to his mother.

"Alexandra, the Countess wants to see you." Lady Rochester said and Alexandra stiffened.

"Yes, my Lady." She gave a small bow and the other woman nodded before she turned and walked away.

Alexandra watched them go and then wiped her hands on her skirt. Taking a deep breath she headed for the manor, her fists clenched tightly as she walked.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Alexandra tried not to fidget under the scrutinizing stare of the Countess. She kept her head bowed as the woman approached her slowly.

"Good God, girl." She sighed as she grabbed Alexandra's chin and pulled her chin up, "You may look at me. I admire your courage to be true." Lady Anne smiled a bit and Alexandra frowned. The woman looked so severe and her son had inherited her superior gaze, there was no question for that.

But she actually smiled? Suspicious.

"Do not worry. You will return. He will change his mind like he always does. He may think he does not need help, especially from a woman, but he is wrong, isn't he? I think you know that. I am surprised you stayed there that long." The Countess said quietly before she turned abruptly and started pacing.

"Why did he send you back?" she asked and Alexandra cleared her throat.

"His Lordship found the letter your Ladyship sent me a few weeks ago. He thought I was there to spy on him." She replied and the Countess turned to look at her.

"And did you read the letter?" she quirked an eyebrow and Alexandra shook her head in denial.

"No, madam. I did not have the time. The Earl got angry." She whispered quietly, "It made me sad to go when he was ill." She looked up and the Countess stiffened.

"Ill?"

"His Lordship suffered from kidney stones." Alexandra sad as her hands curled around her apron.

"Does he still have that idiotic servant?" The Countess asked with disdain and Alexandra almost smiled.

"Yes, my Lady…Alcock cares for the Earl deeply. He's very faithful." She said and the Countess scowled.

"That does not lessen his idiocy." She muttered as she turned towards the window, "My son can get very…stubborn at times. He does not realize that fortunes are not made by spending more than you have. If it weren't for my fortune, his children would not have food on their table." She turned and looked at Alexandra, "And he goes and spends his commission money on…shallow activities. Elizabeth can only do that much." She said as she walked towards her, "I won't blame you that he found the letter but you realize that it gave him the wrong impression. And he won't listen."

Alexandra swallowed hard, "Why are you telling me this?"

The Countess regarded her for a moment before she replied, "I know that you must be surprised. Your status provides little freedom but I did not send you there to spy on my son. The letter was merely my worry speaking. But of course, he misunderstood. Our nobility is all we have. Nothing more. He needs to understand this." The woman turned away, her shoulders rigid.

"Look where he brought me to. Talking to a servant girl about my family's matters." She spat and Alexandra pressed her lips together, trying not to roll her eyes.

"But I was there to watch his movements, no, my Lady? You wouldn't be speaking to me about such private matters if that wasn't the case." She said and the Countess turned to look at her with shock.

"You're impudent. Just like him. No wonder he allowed you to stay for so long." She replied bitingly and Alexandra looked at her square in the eyes.

"My worst trait, my Lady. I apologize." Alexandra said quietly and the Countess took a deep breath.

"You should be contrite, but I have greatest concerns right now. No matter, you shall go back shortly. I shall make sure of it." The Countess said with determination.

Alexandra was immensely confused and annoyed, "But why? He won't take me back. And I am sorry, your Ladyship, but even if I were to go back I wouldn't speak of his privacy to anyone; not even you. That is not me. So, maybe it'd be for the best to dismiss me from your household if that is the sole reason for me to remain here." Alexandra blurted out quickly and the Countess stared at her with disbelief.

"I won't dismiss you simply because I respect your mother who has been most loyal to my family. But you won't ever speak like that to me again. Ever. Have no worries. I would not send you back to London even if he begged me to. You are excused." The Countess said as she turned away from her and came to stand in front of the window again.

Alexandra straightened and inclined her head.

"As you wish, my Lady." She murmured before she turned and walked out of the parlor with her head held high.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_Days later…_

"Just my luck!" Alexandra exclaimed as she rushed out of the laundry room and into the rain.

"Bugger!" she yelped as her hair and clothes got soaked immediately. She started gathering the previously white sheets while cursing to herself.

"Alex, you're cursing!" a small voice called from the door and she turned her head to look at the child.

"Master Charles, get inside!" she called as she grabbed the last sheet and quickly rushed inside, dripping to the floor from the heavy rain.

"You cursed." The boy said with a giggle and Alexandra laughed breathlessly.

"Do not tell." She smiled as she put the wet clothes into a basket and grabbed a cloth to dry herself.

"You won't tell I tried to hide again, will you?" Charles asked and she paused.

"Tell who?"

"My papa."

She stiffened, "Sweetheart, I am not going to see your father. I won't tell."

"But…" the child furrowed his perfect brow, "Papa is coming. I saw him on his horse just now." He said and she froze.

"Oh." She exhaled as every hair on her body stood on end. She blamed it on the chilly wind.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The maid walked into the kitchen and placed an empty tray on the counter.

"You, Alexandra. Go to the cellar. Get the wine for the Master." She said dismissively and Alexandra paused, spoon halfway to her mouth.

"Me? I am not dressed appropriately. My skirt is stained with mud, I can't-…"

"And that is my problem because?" the other woman, Marge, cut her off and she gaped at her, "I am on my own and the cook is sick. You have to help." She replied as she walked over to the fire and started stirring the sauce in the pot.

Alexandra glared at the woman's back before she stood, abandoning her food. She looked at her attire and groaned before she took the cellar key and headed for the stairs that led to it.

Her dress was not completely dry yet but she did not have the time to change. The load of work in the country was much larger and time much more limited. A tricky combination.

The air of the cellar was humid and cold and it made her shiver. But it was not as bad as the thought of having to face the Earl again.

She got a bottle of wine, the last one, and headed back. She double locked the cellar and then returned to the kitchen for a tray.

Once she had taken the appropriate glasses she headed for the dining room with dread written all over her face.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Ah, finally." She heard his voice before she saw him and she stiffened, "Did you get lost in the cellar?"

She raised her eyes to his and she saw that his mouth was curled up into a sneer. She gulped.

"My apologies, my Lord." She murmured as she placed the bottle and glasses on the table and stepped back.

The Earl's eyes perused her form and his eyes settled onto her dirty skirt. He quirked an eyebrow and looked up at her.

"What have you been up to? Digging holes in the mud?" he snarled and she tried hard not to reply with a biting remark.

His eyes left her face and settled on the fabric that was clinging to her chest. He smirked and gazed up into her eyes again.

"My, my, the villagers must consider you a sight to behold." He said and she tried hard not to be hurt by his wrath.

"John." Lady Elizabeth murmured as she looked at Alexandra sympathetically.

"Where is your partner in crime? She didn't appear. Where is dear mother, Elizabeth?" he continued, paying no heed to his wife's glare.

"I am no one's partner in crime, my Lord." Alexandra said tightly and he looked at her with narrowed eyes. A strange emotion passed over his face at her watery eyes but then he smirked.

"Servant girls do not make their own choices. There are others who force them upon them. You, my dear girl, are nothing different. You are no exception. You were born to obey and lower your head. So, how dare you looking at me as if I am your equal?" he did not raise his voice but his words were dripping with disdain.

Alexandra bit her lower lip to stop it from trembling.

"John, this is enough! Leave her alone. You know nothing of it!' Lady Elizabeth put down her fork and knife with a clatter and the Earl turned to look at his wife murderously.

"Just stop it." Elizabeth repeated quietly and Alexandra found her chance to take her leave with her fists curled tightly by her sides.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A hand grabbed her wrist and she gasped. Alexandra sighed with relief when she realized that it was only young Master Charles.

"You scared me, little sir." She smiled as she tightened her robe around her body and looked down at him, "What ever is the matter? Why are you out of bed?" she asked him softly and he blinked, his young eyes filled with moisture.

"Mama was going to tuck me in after the girls were asleep but she did not come." He whispered quietly while looking around him worriedly.

Alexandra crouched down in front of him, "How about I put you to bed?" she asked as she picked him up in her arms and headed for the stairs.

"No, you can't go from there!" he exclaimed as he tightened his little arm around her neck and grabbed a fistful of her hair in his small palm.

"Young Master?" she frowned as she kept walking down the corridor that led from the kitchen to the stairs.

As she got nearer she paused. Loud arguing could be heard and she froze when she heard the Earl's voice.

"You will never demean me in front of the servants ever again. Do you understand me?" he asked huskily and Alexandra took a step back when she saw him pushing his wife back and against the wall, trapping her there with his body.

The child in Alexandra's arms buried his face in her neck and sniffed. She tightened her arms around him and took another step back, trying to be as quiet as possible.

"While it is alright to demean others because of their birth? My God, what happened to you, John?" Lady Elizabeth asked as she tried to push him away but he held her fast.

"My darling, I am still me. I am the man you married. You just liked to ignore my faults because of your childish perception of love." He hissed before he leaned down and pressed his lips hard against hers.

Alexandra quickly turned around and started walking away but the resonating sound of a slap made her stop dead in her tracks.

"How dare you treating me like one of your whores?" Lady Elizabeth's voice was nothing but a mere whisper.

"My dear, what is the difference? The only visible difference between you and a woman who sells her body is that you are silly enough to think that you're doing it because of affection. She is doing it for money. Now, tell me. Who is gaining more profit? You or her? Oh, but I forgot, you already live in your gilded cage." The Earl's voice was dripping with sarcasm and it made Alexandra's eyes sting.

All because of her. He was talking to the woman who loved him like that because he was angry with her.

Only silence and Lady Elizabeth's footsteps as she walked away could be heard after his sharp words and as Alexandra stepped forward she felt a tear slipping down her cheek. Young Charles did not speak at all on their way to his room. They took the stairs from the servant quarters.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_Weeks later…_

"Keep still, child." The physician instructed but Alexandra could not sit still. Her breath was coming out in sharp, painful gasps and her skin was covered in a thin layer of sweat.

The old doctor barely touched her ribs but she could not help it. She screamed.

Lady Elizabeth rushed into the room followed by a maid and her eyes widened.

"Heavens, what ever is the matter, doctor?" she asked, "What is wrong with her?"

"I believe some of her ribs are cracked due to the fall from the stairs, my Lady." The old man replied, his hands shaking lightly.

Alexandra stared at his trembling limbs. He was going to help her? No way in hell.

"And now what?" Lady Elizabeth asked sympathetically.

"Unfortunately, we need someone to set them right. I cannot do it. You need to find another doctor, my Lady." He said as he slowly stood.

"What?" Alexandra whispered as she met Lady Rochester's eyes.

"But you are the only doctor in Oxfordshire." Lady Elizabeth said.

"I am well aware of that, my Lady. But look." The physician placed his hand to her side and touched the purple skin.

"See? They need to be set right." He said and Alexandra cried out again.

"My Lady, if he cannot help can he at least stop touching me?" she whispered as tears clouded her vision and Lady Rochester nodded.

"What is this commotion?" The Earl's voice sounded irritated as he stepped into the room. He was in his cape and he wore his gloves.

When he saw Alexandra on the bed he paused, "What happened?" he asked.

"The girl cracked her ribs, my Lord." His wife explained, "She needs to see another physician because Mr. Altman is not healthy enough to treat her." She looked at her husband hopefully.

The Earl's eyes perused Alexandra's form before he turned and looked at the doctor, "There is nothing you can do?"

"I am afraid not, my Lord. My hands are not steady enough."

"John, we should take her to London." Lady Elizabeth said.

"Is that so?" he quirked an eyebrow but he did not take his eyes off of Alexandra.

"Can you take her?" Elizabeth asked and he turned to look at her sharply.

"I just got here. I am not travelling to the city again today. Mr. Altman will take her and make sure she sees an appropriate physician. Alcock is in London and he will be there should they need something." Lord Rochester said and Alexandra averted her eyes.

"I beg your pardon, my Lord." The old physician spoke up, "The young lady cannot be moved because the transport might cause internal bleeding should the ribs pierce her organs. A doctor has to come here." Altman said and the Earl curled his lip in distaste.

"Fine. Send the coach driver to London. Now." He said to his wife before he turned and walked away from the room.

Alexandra just wanted to curl in a ball and cry. But she didn't.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"You should know that my husband knows that it is not your fault." Lady Elizabeth said as she pulled her son away from Alexandra's bed and smiled softly down at her, "He is just too proud to admit that he was wrong."

Charles ran out of the room and they were left alone.

Alexandra shifted on the bed and winced, "Is that the reason why his Lordship left so abruptly last night?" she asked and Elizabeth stiffened.

"You heard the argument?" she asked and Alexandra flushed.

"The walls are not so thick, my Lady. Most things are heard in the house." She replied and Lady Rochester sighed.

"True. Would you go back? If he apologized. He won't ever do it. But if he did, would you go back and serve him again?" the woman asked with wide eyes and Alexandra paused.

"It is not a decision I can make."

"But if you could?" Lady Elizabeth persisted.

"I am not sure." Alexandra replied, "I beg your pardon, my Lady, but…why do you ask? Do you worry about him being alone?" she questioned and the other woman tensed.

"Do I worry because he is not eating or sleeping? Of course. Do I worry because all he can do is drink and stray? Of course, I do. I cannot bear to be with him when he is…the way he is. He knows it. So, answer me, my dear. Can you bear it or does his behavior sicken you as well?" Elizabeth asked in a strained voice and Alexandra swallowed hard.

"I can." She whispered but even as she said the words she wasn't sure. She just couldn't distinguish if she was annoyed or hurt by his antics towards her. And that scared her because if she was not just annoyed with him she could no longer protect her heart. He could and would break it.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The sound of her bedroom door closing firmly shut woke her up. She blinked and tried to see in the dim light. Once her eyes had cleared the fog of sleep, she noticed a familiar figure walking towards her.

"My Lord?" she whispered and she could see his slight smirk in the darkness.

"My little saint." He murmured as he came to lean over her bed, "Hasn't this bed had a little too much pleasure in keeping you captive?" he asked as he sat down next to her.

"I didn't know you were here." She said as she tried to inch away from him.

He stopped her by placing his hand on the mattress by her side, holding her trapped.

"I just got here. Strange is it not?" he whispered as his free hand fingered a curl of her hair resting upon the pillow.

"What is?"

"For someone like me to have the fortitude of crawling back to his maid for the hundredth time? Like a dog returning to his master with his tail between his legs." He told her and she could hear the self hate in that sentence.

"I think it only appropriate." She said bitingly and he paused, his hand gradually tightening in her hair until he was grasping fistfuls of it in his fingers.

"What did you say?" his voice was deadly quiet.

"You accused me of something I didn't do." She replied steadily.

"How dare you?" he breathed as he leaned down towards her, their noses touching, "I will not account for my actions to you. If I tell you to jump, you will jump. If I tell you to get down on your knees, you will do it because that's how it is between us. I command, you obey." He snarled as he brought his hand up and grabbed at the neckline of her nightdress. With a vicious tug he tore through it, tearing it in half.

She jumped but her hurt ribs forced her not to move.

"If that is so, why did you come here?" she asked, using her words as a weapon. Like he did.

"I beg your pardon?" he spat at her angrily.

"If you wanted me to obey, you would have just commanded me to come to you. You would not have come here in the middle of the night." She replied with cheek and he smirked, his eyes two pools of dark, glimmering liquid.

"You little wench." He breathed as he abandoned the torn material of her dress and brought his hand to her collarbone instead. He splayed his fingers across her skin and her breath quickened.

"You like it when I talk back, my Lord, because in your entire life others have been doing your bidding without questioning you. You hate that in me but not to others. You love those _others_ and that is why you stand my impudence; because it excites you and reminds you of the woman who does not love you." She spat and his eyes fell to her lips momentarily.

A moment later his palm collided with her cheek in a slap and her eyes widened as she tasted blood on her tongue.

_Too far, Alexandra. You've gone too far._ Her inner voice screamed at her as she could feel her eyes stinging. Not because of the slap but because he could raise his hand at her and not to the woman who has actually hurt him.

She kept her face turned from him but not for long. His fingers grabbed hold of her chin and he turned her face sharply towards him.

His furious eyes met her watery ones and she could see the fury in his gaze subsiding the longer he stared at her.

She watched as his Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed and when she tried to move from under him he placed his hand on her stomach to keep her still. Before she had the chance to even look at him she felt his lips clashing with hers. Her breath left her in an anxious exhale through her nose as he pressed his lips over hers. She could feel his moist breath on her mouth and the feeling of his tongue as it parted her lips caused her body to shudder. His hands found her bare skin a moment later and he grasped hold of her sides to propel her towards him.

She moaned in pain when his palm collided with her ribs and she tore her lips away to groan. His lips found the skin of her neck and he bit down on her pulse spot, causing her to cry out again.

Her hand flew to grasp his own on her cracked ribs while he nipped his way up to her ear.

"Don't _ever_ speak to me like that again." He hissed huskily, his chest rising and falling with his rapid breaths as he seized her wrist and threw it away from him.

His fingers found and tightened in her hair as he stared into her eyes and when she did not move again his gaze flickered to her exposed body. He released her hair and brushed his hand from her throat, down to her chest and lower, until it reached her stomach. He slipped it to the side and fingered her bandaged side before he raised his eyes to hers.

"Am I clear?" he breathed as she tried hard not to explode from anger.

She gave a curt nod and he nodded, his expression smug as he pulled his hand from her side with excruciating slowness.

"Good. Because you belong to me now." He told her and she narrowed her eyes.

"Only not literally." She whispered and he chuckled as he stood up and started walking towards her small closet. He pulled it open and started rummaging through it while she covered herself with the covers.

"You and I need each other, Alexandra. You need me because the control I give you excites you and I need you because in some strange, self punishing way my wit has decided to favor only you." He pulled out a plain black dress and threw it towards her, "Also," he turned to her as he shut the closet door and approached her, "My little virgin," he smirked when she flushed with anger, "You just proved to me," he trailed off as he slipped a hand under the covers and slid it playfully towards the juncture of her thighs. He groaned and chuckled as he leaned down towards her and pulled her bloodied lower lip between his lips.

She tried hard to remain unresponsive as he pushed her thighs open and when he pulled back she could see desire pulsing through his eyes.

It made her breath hitch.

"…that you like it rough." He finished with a smirk before he pulled his hand from between her legs and stepped back altogether.

"Now get dressed. We're leaving in half an hour. Do not twiddle because I might change my mind." He called before he walked out of her room and shut the door behind him.

She stared at the wood with wide eyes, not wanting to admit that everything he had just said was true.

'_**Tis more to maintain than it was to surprise,**_

_**But her wit leads in triumph the slave of her eyes,**_

_**I beheld, with the loss of my freedom before,**_

_**But hearing, forever must serve and adore.**_

_**~John Wilmot**_

**End of chapter 8**

**Author's note: Ahem, still here? Good. That last part actually wrote itself…I am shocked! Thank you for reading. If you take the time to review and tell me your thoughts, I will appreciate it. Your comments feed the muse! So, please comment!**

**Also, do you think Alex likes to control him or is she just falling in love for the man that she knew she ought not to fall for? Thoughts on that are welcome.**

**Also, Happy late Thanksgiving! ;o)**

**Update news, covers and much more on my page on FB!**

**Xxx Lina :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello, hello! How are you all? Well I hope.**

**A huge thank you to: TinkerbellxO, MissMisc3, Makrciana, dionne dance, whatcatdidnext, , nuckythompson, ForeverACharmedOne, 88dragon06, LadyAmazon, Leyshla Gisel, XantheXV, xoangelwingxo and AqoCJeyBee.**

**A special thank you and bravo to _TinkerbellxO _and _whatcatdidnext _for grasping the nature of the relationship between our beloved couple…You sly minds! ;o)**

**Also this story is now rated M. You'll see why. ;o)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

"**To this moment a rebel I throw down my arms,**

**Great love, at first sight of Olinda's bright charms.**

**Make proud and secure by such forces as these,**

**You may now play the tyrant as soon as you please."**

**~By John Wilmot**

"How drunk was he?" Alcock mumbled as he brought more hot water to Alexandra and handed her another mop, "I mean, he spilled all of the ink on the marble floor!" he exclaimed but Alexandra did not look up from her kneeling position. She was too lost in her own thoughts; her very disturbing thoughts. She was not supposed to care so why did she worry that he would, at some point, poison himself with alcohol? Keeping her shields up was proving a difficult task to achieve when he was so close, almost breathing down her neck. He was smothering her with tasks; tasks that he could achieve on his own. It was like he wanted to prove something. Like he wanted to show her that she was indeed under his power, under his control. Or perhaps, he was doing all of those things to hide, to conceal the fact that without her he was a wreck. Thinking the latter helped her and gave her some measure of control and pride. She, a servant girl, had power over the mighty Lord who was so rebellious and sincere that it bordered on cruel. The thought seemed ridiculous if she tried to analyze it so she usually didn't.

She sighed as the sloppy sounds of the mop reached her ears and breached her thoughts but when Alcock spoke up again, trying to grasp her attention she flinched and looked up at him.

"Lower your voice for God's sake! I am doing all the cleaning. Why are you so bothered?" she muttered as she paused momentarily and placed a hand against her ribs. Every breath she took hurt and breathing was a chore but she kept going. She needed the distraction; she craved it.

"Because! I thought you being back here would make things better." He said in a low voice and Alexandra frowned.

"You thought I'd make things better? Are you delusional? I am only riling him up more." She scoffed and Alcock stared at her until he clicked his tongue.

"Stop. I'll do it. You cannot breathe. Step aside." He muttered almost reluctantly and Alexandra gaped at him.

"You're offering to help?" she asked with a smirk.

"Quick before I change my mind!" he almost growled and she stepped back. She groaned as she stood but it was better than kneeling.

She rubbed her kneecaps and watched as Alcock quickly finished the job with surprise in her eyes.

"You're quick." She commented and he smirked as he stood and handed her the dirty mop.

"Not in everything." He winked as he pushed the bucket away with his foot and leaned close to her.

Alexandra cocked an eyebrow, "Is that so?"

Alcock nodded his head as he narrowed his eyes in what he thought was a charming manner, "Hmm. Quick where it needs, not when it counts."

Alexandra snorted, "What makes you think that we love torture?" she asked and he actually flushed.

"Meaning?" he asked and she pursed her lips in thought.

"Just hinting that most of you can get really tiresome when you want to prove something." She patted his arm and he growled playfully before he lurched forward and grasped her around the waist.

"Speaking from experience, are you?" he gave her a twirl and she yelped while he laughed.

"Put me down!" she exclaimed as she let out a laugh but she soon regretted it and clutched her side.

"Not unless you apologize!" he laughed again and she started getting dizzy from all the whirling around.

"I am heavy, put me down!" she yelped with a laugh as she held onto his forearm.

"Alcock!"

The voice caused them both to freeze.

Alcock put her down but didn't pull his arm away from her waist. The Earl's eyes were burning as he eyed the hand around her waist with possessive rage and Alexandra quickly stepped away from Alcock.

"My Lord? Did we wake you?" she asked as she bowed her head and eyed him underneath her thick eyelashes, her voice soft.

"As if I can sleep!" he hissed as he looked at her with furious eyes.

"Shall I make you breakfast?" she asked and he curled his lip in disgust.

"No." he replied snidely and she flushed with anger, "And you," he pointed to Alcock, "Next time you want to rut something go to the whorehouse. Leave my maid alone. Now," he muttered as he stepped onto the mopped floor, "Go and get the carriage ready. I need to get to the theatre for the rehearsals." He ordered while Alexandra stared at him with wide eyes and flushed cheeks.

Alcock cleared his throat and nodded, "Aye, my Lord." He mumbled and quickly exited the study, leaving them alone.

The Earl walked over to his desk and started rummaging around for something.

"Tell me something, girl." He started and Alexandra gulped, "How could you know how long it takes for a man to reach the high skies of ecstasy? I thought you were a virgin." He raised his wicked eyes to hers and she flushed but held her ground.

"You forget, my Lord, that I've been around your work." She pointed out and he chuckled with amusement.

"Touché, Alexandra. Touché." He murmured as he eyed her form from head to toe.

She fidgeted when he plopped down on his chair, "I need Mr. Etherege's play. Come and find it." He sighed and she nodded her head as she stepped around the desk. She came to stand by his chair and he propelled his seat back by slapping his boot clad foot hard against the deck. Alexandra came to stand between his legs and leaned forward to open a drawer. She found the play between other parchments and smoothed out the wrinkled cover before she shut the drawer.

Slowly she turned around to face him.

"You need to tell me where you put things." He mumbled sourly as he took the play from her and placed it on his lap.

Alexandra nodded her head but before she could step away from him he caught her wrist. She gasped at the scorching heat that was his hand.

"Change your bedding. Put some of my sheets. Yours are too scratchy for my taste." He curled his lip in disdain.

"Then perhaps you should sleep in your own room, my Lord." She shot back and he cocked an eyebrow.

"Do not raise your voice at me." He warned darkly and she snatched her hand out of his hold.

"Stop smothering me then!" she exclaimed angrily but of course she regretted it because her ribs cracked in complaint.

"It is your duty to do as I say, is it not? Stop acting so childishly and get on with your work." He snapped at her as he stood and glared into her eyes, "Do not think that I have forgiven you for your cheek and your spying tendencies. Is that clear?" he asked and without waiting for an answer he passed by her and walked out of the study.

Alexandra took a deep breath and willed her eyes to stop stinging.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Mr. Etherege?" Alexandra frowned as she opened the door and gave a small bow.

"Is your Lord here?" the man asked her as he eyed her with indifference.

"The Earl is not back from his outing…Shall I help you?" she asked and reluctantly stepped aside to invite him in.

"Will he be late?" he asked and Alexandra paused.

"He sent Alcock back so I suppose he will be late indeed." She replied and her stomach clenched at the implication behind her own words. Why should it hurt? She suspected the answer but refused to acknowledge it.

"I shall wait for a while and if he does not return I shall come back another time." The man replied and Alexandra inclined her head as she let him inside the house.

She shut the door and motioned towards the parlor, "Have a seat. Shall I get you anything?" she asked as he took a seat in the settee and looked around. He placed a pack of papers next to him.

"Tea if you have it." He said with a small smirk that she wanted to wipe off his face.

"Of course." She murmured before she turned on her heel and headed for the kitchen.

She found Alcock eating from her own plate of food.

"Aren't you done yet?" she asked with incredulity and he looked up with his mouth full of meat and potatoes.

"Who's at the door?' he asked and she watched with amusement and a little bit of disgust as bits of food flew from his mouth.

"Mr. Etherege."

"What is he doing here?" Alcock asked and she shrugged.

"He said he wants to speak with the Earl."

"Couldn't he do that at the inn? He was there when the Earl arrived." Alcock murmured and Alexandra paused, "In fact they did talk." He continued.

"Are you sure?" she asked him.

"I ain't stupid, Alex." He rolled his eyes before he carried on eating.

Alexandra stared at him for a moment and the wheels started turning in her head. Was he there to find out something?

Pushing bad thoughts to the back of her mind she prepared the tea and then walked back to the parlor.

"Tell me, why are you back?" George asked as he took the offered cup of tea and then looked up at her, "Didn't Johnny send you away?"

Alexandra frowned. Why was he interested in her?

"Um, he brought me back." She replied hesitantly, unsure of his intentions.

"He said you betrayed him."

"My Lord does not talk much." She fired back and Etherege tilted his head to the side.

"Not when he is sober. But when he is not? Do you know him that well?" he asked her in a deceptively sweet tone that tantalized her gag reflexes to the extreme.

"I am just a maid, sir."

"Yes, you are." He replied and she gritted her teeth while trying to look calm and composed. What did he want?

"Tell me, have you seen him writing lately?" he asked her nonchalantly after a sip.

She frowned, "He always writes when he is here."

"Ah, have you read any of his work?" Etherege seemed eager to know.

"I beg your pardon, sir, but I do not think that is any of your concern." Alexandra replied before she could censor her words.

He cocked an eyebrow, "Now I understand why he finds you so amusing. But you did not answer my question." He narrowed his eyes at her.

"And I shall not." she shook her head, "Why do you think he shares his work with me, sir? I am nothing but-…"

"His new plaything? Oh, yes. I know about that." He slowly stood and approached her, putting the cup on the table with a clatter.

Alexandra's eyes were wide, "I do not-…"

"Listen, you little wench." He hissed as he grabbed her neck and thrust her against the mantelpiece, "The King has commissioned him a play. A play he has to write before the end of the year." He said and Alexandra clutched at his arm while her entire back jerked at the heat of the fire.

"You are here, in his home. You have the privilege of knowing his every step, his every move. I won't stand back and wait for him to make a fool of himself while I could have written something brilliant. He does not deserve the King's trust so I will ask you again, is he working? Have you seen any of it?"

Alexandra hissed when her foot was licked by the fire and she set her jaw. With a strong push of her arm he was sent flying away from her. He landed against the settee with a groan.

Alexandra gasped and moved forward, ready to apologize.

"You filthy-…"

"Get out." A third voice cut in and Alexandra felt her breath hitch at the sound of that voice.

She looked up and noticed the Earl. Behind him was Alcock who staring at her with worry.

"My Lord? I did not-…" she started.

"Alexandra, go to the kitchen. Mr. Etherege is leaving." He told her as he looked at her and she realized that his anger was not directed to her.

She quickly ducked her head and walked towards him so she could leave. As she slipped through the threshold and him his fingers caught the skin of her neck in a caress. The touch was fleeting and brief but to her it felt like an eternity. She swallowed hard and stepped behind Alcock as Lord Rochester walked into the parlor.

"George, what a surprise. I knew you'd stop by at some point. Cannot handle competition, can you? How's Lizzie? Does she still charge by the minute? Hmm?" the Earl's voice was low, and mocking and cold and it chilled the air of the house even more.

"Johnny, I-…"

"Get up. You look pathetic." The Earl snarled and the shorter man scrambled to his feet.

"What is the matter? You did not expect that I'd hear you?" he asked and Etherege straightened his clothes.

"Someone has to watch over you. God only knows what profanities you will present the King with. Someone always has to pay for your sloppiness in the end. The country's on the verge of war." Etherege features were ruffled. He obviously did not expect such a turn of events.

"I will not share my privacy with you." The Earl hissed.

"Ah, tell me what bothers you the most? The fact tat I envy your position or the fact that I mistreated your wench?" Etherege asked cockily.

Rochester curled his fists tightly and Alexandra stepped back and into the shadows.

"Oh, you shall pay for those bruises on her neck. That's for sure, my friend." The Earl murmured calmly.

"At least I have the money to do so, Johnny. Why are you back so early? Did you not have money for your casual tumble?"

"Why pay for something that you can have for free?" The Earl purred and Etherege's eyes widened.

"Oh, I see. What will your wife think of that, hmm?"

"Leave my wife out of this." Rochester's voice was hoarse and it showed his irritation at having Elizabeth's name brought up.

"You better write something good, Johnny. He won't forgive you if you humiliate him again." Etherege told him and the Earl sneered at him.

"Your poor attempts at placating me are pathetic. Get out of my house. You're polluting the air with your greediness." Rochester told him before he turned to look at Alcock who had a smirk on his face, "Lead Mr. Etherege out. Now." He said lowly before he turned his back on both of them.

"This way." Alcock spoke up and Etherege rolled his eyes before he walked out of the parlor.

On his way out he shot an amused glance at Alexandra who glared at him in return. It only made him chuckle.

Alcock slammed the door shut and looked at her, "Are you alright?" he mouthed and she nodded her head with a small smile.

He nodded and cleared his throat, "Drink, my Lord?"

"Get out of my sight, Alcock." The Earl muttered without looking away from the flames.

Alcock pouted and shrugged before he walked away. Alexandra stepped aside to let him pass but she did not follow his lead. She lingered by the threshold and peered into the room. His shoulders were rigid as he ran a hand through his hair. He clicked his tongue in irritation and then turned slowly around. His eyes left the ground and locked with hers. She inhaled sharply but quietly as he studied her with his liquid stare.

He beckoned her closer with two fingers and she hesitated. At his raised eyebrow she gave in and approached him with small footsteps.

When she was just a few steps away from him, he sighed and closed the distance between them. His eyes scrutinized her face with intense precision before his dark orbs focused on her neck. She winced when he ran a few fingertips down the reddish skin.

"I…" she took a deep breath and he looked into her eyes again without removing his fingers from her abused neck, "I did not say anything." She murmured and the corner of his mouth curled into a tiny smirk that one could easily mistake for a smile.

"Of course you didn't, little one." He whispered and her eyes widened when his palm slipped up to cradle the side of her neck.

"It must be tiring to be the good and logic one all the bloody time, is it not? Am I wrong?" he asked and she swallowed thickly.

"I am not always right, my Lord." She whispered as his thumb stroked the skin under her ear.

"Hmm. It is late." He murmured and looked up at her, "I am tired. Go to my room and warm the bed. I will turn in shortly." He told her as he pulled his hand away and walked over to the settee. He picked up the pack of papers that Etherege had left and headed for the fireplace. With a curl of his upper lip he threw the parchments into the fire while Alexandra tried to comprehend his order.

"Your room, sir?" she breathed and he turned to her.

"Your bed is too damn narrow." He told her with a grimace but with sparkling eyes that spoke of determination, "Oh and take a bath before you slip under the covers." He eyed her form before he turned and headed for the stairs in long casual strides.

At that moment Alexandra envied his composure and cold indifference to everything. As she watched him walking away she wanted to have the courage to disobey him, to lock herself into her room despite his command. But she didn't. She didn't because she was selfish enough to want to see the spark in his eyes again.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Sleeping alone was a difficult habit to break. Sleeping with someone else was also a very tricky task for someone who had been on their own since they were a child. In a narrow bed it was difficult to keep your distance if you were sleeping with company. But in a large bed it was easier.

Alexandra tried very hard to keep her distance as she lay in the dark wide awake. Her left hand was by her side on the comfortable mattress and her right one was folded under the pillow. The covers were reaching her chest and the man slumbering next to her was adding to the warmth of the fluffy bedding.

The Earl's hand was resting by her left hand and she could feel the heat radiating from his little finger. If she moved her hand just a little bit she would feel his skin.

Taking a deep breath she turned her head and looked at his face. He was asleep or so it seemed. Alexandra licked her dry lips and slowly sat up, wondering if he would notice her absence if she were to leave. She tried to raise the covers but the warmth was immediately sucked from her as the chilly air of the room fell on the exposed skin of her feet. With a shudder she lay down again and brought the covers to her chin as she turned to lie on her right side.

She felt the bed move a moment later and soon she felt more warmth against her back. She paused when the Earl's hand came to rest on her ribs; her hurt ribs. She gulped when his fingers found the edge of the covers and slipped under them. His palm came to rest on top of the material of her nightgown and his fingers curled around her ribs. The hold was soft and it did not hurt but her reaction to him did.

Stifling a tremulous sigh she shut her eyes and forced herself to go to sleep.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A warm hand curled around her neck and brought her head back down on the sweat soaked pillow the moment her eyes snapped open with a start. She swallowed and her throat felt dry as her heartbeat thundered loudly against her chest. Her wide, nightmare assaulted pupils were dilated as she scanned the still dark chamber.

The hand on her neck rubbed her throat with smoothness and she blinked rapidly.

"Hush." His voice was husky against her ear.

"I woke you." She whispered and the Earl groaned in response as he shifted closer.

"Why didn't you leave earlier?" he asked her hoarsely and she paused, "I heard you." He murmured and she had no answer.

"Hmm? Not in the mood for answers? Perhaps you find my bed comfortable." He smirked against her skin and she licked her lips, "Bad dream?" he murmured as his fingers stroked down her neck.

"Yes. I don't remember it though." She frowned and shook her head, "Excuse me-…"

His palm found her chest and he pushed her back down. She gasped.

"Am I starting to have an affect on you, girl?" he whispered, "Do I make you uncomfortable? Do I make you nervous?" he asked into her ear as his hand trailed down to her stomach slowly.

Alexandra frowned, "I am past being nervous." She replied shakily as his nose skimmed the side of her neck.

"Explain." He ordered as his hand brushed her lower belly.

"I am scared." She admitted and she immediately grimaced.

His hand paused and he exhaled loudly before he pressed his lips against her cheek.

"Why?" he breathed.

She realized that he was giving her a chance to speak her mind. So she grasped the opportunity.

"You defended me. And then you accuse me again. I don't know what to expect from you, my Lord." She whispered and his lips parted over the skin of her neck.

"You know not to expect anything. You're the only one who doesn't. It's extremely…appealing." He told her and his hand slid lower until it was buried between her legs.

She tensed and jerked in his hold.

"Don't move." He murmured against her neck but she did not listen.

"I can't-…"

"I said don't move." He hissed as he slipped his free hand under her body and coiled it around her stomach.

She froze at the tone in his voice and remained still as he pressed his hand more firmly between her thighs. They slipped open to accommodate him and he groaned as he pressed a wet openmouthed kiss against her pulse spot. She shivered and her cheeks flushed with something besides embarrassment.

Realizing that she was almost unwillingly responding to him, her eyelids snapped open and she started struggling in his arms.

"Alexandra!" he hissed as he pressed his hand hard against her stomach to stop her movements.

When she refused to listen he growled and bit down hard on her exposed shoulder. She groaned and winced as it hurt and she immediately went still.

He groaned his approval and soothed the pain with his tongue and lips before he pressed kisses to her neck.

"Yield." He murmured as he slipped his hand under the material of her nightgown, "Do it and I'll reward you." He murmured and she gasped as his dexterous fingers found just the right spot between her legs and pressed against it through her undergarments.

"Please." She whispered as she was left dumbfounded by the abrupt turn of events.

"Be good and don't move unless it is to encourage me." He murmured into her ear, "Can you do that or is your pride too stubborn to allow you to submit?" he asked as he pressed his body flush against her back.

Her mouth opened in shock. So it was a test? For him to see if she could do as she was told in all things?

Her rebellious side exploded and she squeezed her thighs to stop the delirious movements of his hand but he growled and bit her again, this time on her neck just above the vein that was beating rapidly along with her heart.

She cried out and he chuckled, "Stop or I'll do it again." He warned in a husky voice that was barely his own.

She could feel the pain on her neck and she briefly wondered if he had bitten hard enough to draw blood. Against her better judgment she relaxed her posture and his hand started moving, his fingers pressing against her with experienced skill that left her breathless.

Her traitorous body betrayed her when she bucked against him, pressing her body more firmly against his hand and he moaned his approval with a husky laugh.

"Good girl." He whispered and if she wasn't too delirious with bliss she would have found his voice patronizing, "Such a good girl." He groaned when she came undone in his arms and gasped her pleasure against his pillow.

He kept his hand against her and turned his head to kiss her temple before he released her. His head fell to the pillow with a groan and through her haze she wondered if he had gotten anything out of it all.

A moment later he pushed the covers away and stood. On his way to the washroom he spoke.

"Go back to sleep." He murmured hoarsely with a slightly out of breath voice before he disappeared.

Alexandra did not dare move from her position. She remained where she was with wide eyes and tingling limbs.

**End of chapter 9**

**Author's note: Ahem, still here? Good! Thank you for reading! Please review before you go! It's my only payment and I need to know if you like it or not…**

**Until next time!**

**Xxx Lina :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Welcome back! I am here with another update which I hope you'll like.**

**I want to thank: armutt, nuckythompson, guest, flow3rchild21, MissMisc3, Makrciana, Jay D. Moore, xoangelwingxo, ForeverACharmedOne, whatcatydidnext, dionne dance, Leyshla Gisel, TinkerbellxO, AqoCJeyBee, 88dragon06, XantheXV and LadyAmazon.**

**Thank you all for your support!**

**Song suggestion for this chapter: _Snuff by Slipknot._**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine…Obviously…**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

_**Bury all your secrets in my skin**_

_**Come away with innocence and**_

_**Leave me with my sin**_

_**The air around me still feels like a cage**_

_**And love is just a camouflage **_

_**Of what resembles rage again…**_

The fire cackled in the silence and Alexandra placed her hands in front of the flames to warm them. Her eyes stared at the chestnuts she had just put in the fire and smiled. The image reminded her of her mother. The smile fell from her lips as soon as it came. What would her mother think of her odd relationship with her master? Stifling a sigh she rubbed her tired eyes and shook her head. She shouldn't think about that. It only happened once and she'd be damned if she let it happen again.

She sat back on her haunches and turned her head slightly. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him leaning back in his lush armchair. His feet were propped up in a low stool and he had long discarded his waistcoat. His cravat was untied and hanging loosely around his neck and the top buttons of his crisp white shirt were open. She swallowed hard as she eyed the glass of wine that was clasped between his long fingers and a faint blush crept up her neck. Her blush deepened and reached her cheeks when her gaze fell on his slightly pursed mouth. He always had that expression when he was reading something that interested him. The purse of the mouth and the furrowed brow were signals that you shouldn't disturb him, that he was too engrossed in his task.

Alexandra frowned to herself and looked away. The fact that she knew those small characteristics of his bothered her. When had she stared noticing all that? Noticing _him_. When she had arrived she had been certain that she disliked him. His crude nature, bold words and cruel honesty were abhorrent to her. But not anymore. Because she understood him…a little better. His words that were a shield to his feelings, his blatant and sometimes extreme respect for truth that bothered everyone and the way he could express anything with his eyes were familiar to her. In a way one could say that they were similar. She understood him alright, but she didn't have to like his actions.

"Staring is rather rude." His voice broke through her haze and she jumped, "And you're going to burn those nuts." He informed her as he raised his dark eyes from the book and looked at her.

She flushed even more and quickly reached towards the fire to take out the chestnuts.

She heard him click his tongue but when she heard his chuckle she paused and looked at him.

He had abandoned the book and was staring at her with a smirk, "Is there a reason for your absence of mind today?" he asked her as he tilted his head to the side and took a sip from his wine.

She looked away as he lowered the goblet and she felt her heart beating erratically against her chest at the sight of his moistened lips.

_Oh God, no._

"I am just cold today, sir. My ribs hurt too." She murmured as she placed the chestnuts in a plate and the put them aside.

"Leave that and come here." He told her abruptly and she froze.

"My Lord?" she whispered and he tilted his head to the side.

"Come here." He repeated in a low voice and she did.

As she started to get up he cocked an eyebrow, "Did I tell you to stand? Get me that bottle too." He pointed at the wine bottle next to his chair on the floor.

Alexandra shuffled towards him and he pushed the stool away as she crawled closer.

When she was near his legs he outstretched his glass towards her and she refilled it.

"Perhaps, you should eat something before you continue-…" she suggested.

"Did I ask for your opinion?" he cut her off and she narrowed her eyes in anger.

It only amused him it seemed for he smiled and when she remained silent he smirked.

"No witty comebacks? A shame. I rather enjoy them." He patted his lap in invitation as she put the bottle away but she hesitated.

"I know you do." She replied and his smirk turned even slyer.

"Of course you do." He murmured in deep thought as he reached out and threaded his fingers through her loose curls. He briefly massaged her scalp with his fingers and against her will she relished in the attention. His eyes perused her face and then fell on her parted lips. His tongue slipped out to lick his lower lip just as his fingers tightened their grip on her hair firmly enough to bring her closer. He dragged her up to his level before he leaned forward and pressed his warm lips against her cool forehead in a firm, openmouthed kiss.

Alexandra staggered at the gesture and her eyes closed reflexively as he untangled his fingers from her hair to coil his arm around her waist. In a swift move he had her on his lap and facing away from him.

He finished his drink in one go and threw the glass away before he settled her more firmly against him. When she was sitting sideways on his lap, he reached out and grabbed his forgotten book.

Without looking at her, he opened it to the page he had been reading earlier and carried on as if she was not there, curled against his chest like a lover.

Alexandra blinked rapidly in confusion but did not dare wiggle in his hold. Stealing a glance towards his concentrated face she felt her anxiety and blush subsiding. It felt…nice to be there. His company was very inviting when he was not spewing offences to people.

"You may read if you wish. Although, I do not think you'll understand." He murmured softly but the words were like a slap.

"No, thank you. I'd very much like to go to sleep." She snapped and he looked up, his expression surprised.

"Do you not enjoy my company?" he cocked an eyebrow and she pursed her lips without replying.

Suddenly, he chuckled, "I know you're not stupid, little one. I only meant that I am halfway through it. It won't make any sense." He explained and she flushed.

"Oh."

His mouth twitched in amusement, "You are welcome to read it when I'm done." He told her and she eyed the book with curious eyes.

"Who wrote it?" she asked timidly.

"Hobbes." He replied shortly.

Alexandra turned the book a bit to see the cover and he let her, "Leviathan." She murmured and he nodded.

"Hmm." He reached up and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear.

She shivered but tried not to show it by shifting in his lap a bit, "It's…political, my Lord?" she asked and Rochester nodded his head.

"Hmm. Bellum omnium contra omnes." He murmured in Latin and Alexandra blinked.

"What is that?" she asked softly and he took a deep breath.

"It's Latin. It means war against all. Great work on political theory…Even if he underestimates the human nature and its desires." The Earl said as he eyed the book.

"I don't think I'll understand it then. I know nothing about politics." She said softly and he looked at her.

"Time to learn then, yes? Ignorance is worse than being poor, Alexandra. Remember that." He shut the book and rubbed his eyes with the tips of his fingers.

Alexandra gazed at him and her hand absentmindedly went to his loosened cravat.

"How…how is the writing going, my Lord? For the play." she asked hesitantly and his head shot up at that.

He narrowed his eyes in suspicion, "That's not any of your business." He muttered and she flushed with anger, "Do not forget your place." He placed his hands on her hips and pushed her up and off his lap.

"Go and warm water. I need a bath. Tidy here afterwards" He ordered as he too stood and walked out of the room without further acknowledgement.

Alexandra stared after him before she frowned, "That is the problem, John. I do not know my place anymore." She whispered into the empty room. As soon as she spoke his name her eyes widened for it felt odd, his name on her lips felt odd. Foreign but at the same time familiar.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The cold water was scorching as if it was hot on her scalp but she finished rinsing her hair in silence. Blindly, she reached for the tattered towel that was on the chair next to the bucket of water and after she had wrung water out of her locks she started drying it up with the towel. She owned that towel since she could remember herself. Her mother had given it to her when they had parted ways and she hadn't left it behind when she had arrived in London.

She rubbed the towel viciously over her head and then discarded it so she could put on her robe. She shivered as the thin cloth covered her and paused. She needed thicker clothes but she had no time to buy them…or money. She snorted at that. What little she got was not enough for some heavy materials. She did not dare ask for more money though. The Earl was not as rich as everyone believed.

Without facing the door she picked up her comb and started brushing her hair, trying and failing to pull the knots out.

Suddenly warm hands settled on her hips and she froze.

"I take it you did not hear me coming in." The Earl's voice was low and husky in her ear and she shivered as he pressed his warm body up against hers, "You ought to be more alert." He murmured as he pulled one hand away from her hips and reached around to take the comb from her shaky fingers. He pried them open and took it from her before he used his free hand to hold her head steady. He divided her hair into three sections and started combing her locks in long languid movements. The knots gave way to his always imperious hand and she wanted to scowl at her own hair for showing compliance to him.

"December is very cold here…You ought to wear thicker clothes even in the house." He murmured as he moved on to the second section of her strands.

Alexandra paused, wondering if she should speak her mind or remain quiet.

"Speak your mind, Alexandra." He chuckled as he stepped closer so that his hip was brushing against hers.

"I cannot afford more clothes." She whispered and he inhaled sharply.

"I figured as much. The mighty Earl of Rochester does not pay his servants well enough. Scandal. He is the friend of the King." He said in a mocking voice as he finished with her traitorous hair and stepped in front of her, his eyes stormy.

She gulped but when he scoffed and stared into her eyes she realized that he was angry at himself. His eyes perused her shaking form and they lingered on her exposed collarbone before they settled onto her face.

Taking one last look at her, he passed by her to get to the door, "Follow me." He called but when she didn't do so immediately he paused, "Now, Alexandra. Unless you wish to freeze while standing there like a statue, however a pretty one you'd be." He snapped and she blinked. How could he patronize and compliment her at the same time was beyond her.

Abandoning her comb carelessly in a chair by the door, he walked out of the servants' washroom and his long strides took him to the stairs that led to the upper floor.

Alexandra trailed after him with the heavy weight of dread twisting her stomach into tight knots.

They arrived at the room next to his own and he made his way through the door in silence.

Alexandra lingered at the threshold.

"Get in here, girl. For God's sake!" he snapped as he pulled the closet door open and started rummaging through it.

Alexandra stumbled her way in barefoot. She came to stand behind him as he looked through various clothes in the closet. She took her time studying the room. She had cleaned it a few times and as she turned her eyes on the clothes in the closet they widened.

The room belonged to his wife. She took a reflexive step back.

"There." He turned and outstretched a long linen nightgown towards her, "Put that on." He murmured and when she hesitated he rolled his eyes.

"What is it now?" he asked her rather impatiently.

She unstuck her tongue from the roof of her mouth, "I am not wearing that." She shook her head.

The Earl's eyebrows disappeared under his hairline at her words, "I beg your pardon? Is it not to your liking?" he asked with sarcasm.

Alexandra's posture turned defensive, "That's Lady Elizabeth's nightdress. I could not possibly wear it." She replied vehemently.

Rochester paused, "But I am giving you permission too."

"It is not yours to give." Alexandra replied heatedly and his nostrils flared as he approached her rapidly.

"I am sad to see that you do not understand. Perhaps the liberty I have given you has clouded your senses. Let us be clear then. Everything I own is mine to use as I see fit. When I tell you to do something I expect you to do it." He hissed down at her and she swallowed thickly.

"Lady Elizabeth is your property too then?"

"Of course. Like you are. Are we understanding each other?" he cocked an elegant eyebrow and she tried hard to control her anger and irritation.

"I am perhaps yours since I am a mere servant. But I cannot wear my Lady's clothes. It is uncalled for." She choked out and a sarcastic smirk appeared on his handsome but pale face.

"Ah, I see. You're one of those who believe in the superiority of birth." He murmured and then his eyes roamed her form, "How very…_dull_." He enunciated the word like poison.

He studied her for a moment and then his eyes went to her bobbing throat. He released a breathy chuckle before he reached out and untied the robe she had clumsily put on. She sucked in a quick breath but did not dare move. She could see his stormy eyes and despite her always present urge to provoke him further she held her tongue and forced herself to be compliant.

"My wife had the luck to be born in a wealthy family, my little saint. The same luck was granted to me as well. Beyond that fact," he whispered as he pushed the robe open and stepped closer, "There is only one sign of royalty in her." He continued and trailed his hand over her heaving chest and down her trembling stomach, "Her incessant need to prove her sacrificial nature to me. That she is willing to endure like any good noblewoman." He used his other hand in which he held the nightdress to push the thin material of her thin robe from her shoulder, "Now when it comes to me, the only characteristic that does distinguish me from an animal is my basic intelligence. Verses are the art of noblemen, wouldn't you agree?" he breathed as he pushed the robe completely off of her shoulders.

Alexandra shivered as he carried on but his close proximity clouded her senses and made it hard to think of any appropriate comeback.

"You see, all that men of my stature have is our luck to be born with noble blood. Nothing more. We commit the same sins. Like a good Christian would say: We drink, we curse, we stray…We hurt those who love us. Am I not right?" he asked her as his eyes did not stray from her face. He trailed a hand briefly down her bare spine before he pulled the nightgown in front of him and bunched the material up.

"Our society does not see it that way." She finally forced out and he groaned.

"Society." He jerkily pushed the nightgown over her head and as he pulled it down it felt like it weighed a ton, "It tends to scramble your head." He hissed, "Put your arms through." He ordered and she did as she was told with a scowl of contempt.

"You may force me to do your biding but I do not have to like it." She spat and he frowned before a look of understanding passed over his features.

"Oh, I see." he whispered slyly as she nervously tugged the nightgown down her thighs,

He grasped her hands, halting her movements. Alexandra's eyes widened when he grasped both of her wrists in one hand and slipped his free one down her legs. He trailed his fingers on the inside of her left thigh and she gulped.

"I see what really bothers you." He nodded his head as his fingers went higher, "You feel low wearing the clothes of a woman whose husband had his hand between your legs. Am I right? You don't care about her station. No, we are talking about a different moral issue here." He murmured as his fingers found the tense apex of her thighs but did not venture any further, "Too bad I don't have any morals, my dove. Too bad." He breathed as he slipped his fingers higher but before she could react he pulled his hand from between her thighs and released her with a snarl.

"You analyze this too much, little one. For your sake, don't." he said in a low voice before he stepped away and headed for the door, "You may return to your room tonight." He called tersely and Alexandra released a breath she didn't now she had been holding.

As always, he was right.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_A few days later…_

"Shall I get you anything to warm you up, my Lady?" Alexandra asked quietly as she held Master Charles in her arms.

Lady Elizabeth nodded her head as she took off her gloves, "Yes, please. Could you then perhaps call for the physician?" the woman asked and Alexandra frowned.

"Are you not feeling well, madam?"

"No…I am fine…Just please do as I say. Give something to Charles too. Warm milk perhaps." Lady Elizabeth smiled at her son who was idly playing with a lock of Alexandra's hair.

"Yes. Then you can also give him chestnuts. They didn't work with the father; they might work with the son." The Earl spoke up from the hallway before he approached them and leaned towards Alexandra to kiss his son's forehead, "Eh, girl?" he smirked and she looked away.

"Chestnuts!" Charles exclaimed and the Earl ruffled his hair before he turned to his wife.

"In what do we owe the pleasure?" he asked her as he took her hand and stroked it.

Alexandra abruptly turned and headed for the kitchen as their voices trailed off behind her.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"This is so you, John." Lady Elizabeth's voice made Alexandra freeze just outside the chamber door with the tray in her hands, "Always blaming others for your faults!"

"And this is so you, Elizabeth. Pretending to be happy when you're not. Pretending you want this when you don't." The Earl's voice made the walls of the house shake, "Do you remember what happened the last time you were with child? You almost died."

"What do you want me to do? Go to some supposed doctor and have him take the child? Tear it away from me?"

"You see? You're doing it again! Stop putting words in my mouth! You should have been an actress. You love playing the victim!" his voice and the cruelty in it made Alexandra shudder.

"Do I?"

"Yes!"

"And you have no responsibility whatsoever?" Elizabeth exploded.

"I do not even remember that night!" The Earl barked.

"What are you insinuating? That I am lying? That I was not faithful? I am not you, John!" Elizabeth's voice was bordering on hysterical and Alexandra bit her tongue hard in order not burst into the room to defend her.

"Of course, you're not me." The Earl's voice was mocking.

"That night, I was shocked that you came to me. That changed once I smelled your breath. Only inebriated you come to me." Elizabeth whispered.

"You always come back to that! My faults versus your virtues. Tell me. Do you want this child?" The Earl asked her fiercely and there was a dead silence.

Alexandra put the tray down on the floor and took a few steps back.

"I want everything that's yours and you know it." Elizabeth's reply came out broken and resigned.

There was a short pause until his voice broke the silence, "Then you're a fool."

Alexandra gasped and she did not have time to react when the door was pulled open by Elizabeth. In her haste to get out the woman did not see Alexandra in the hallway and she headed for the stairs in silence until she disappeared. The slam of the front door signaled her exit and Alexandra was rooted to the spot by the abrupt turn of events.

Without thinking her actions much she stormed into the chamber. She found him near the window. He was staring out of it but when he heard her coming in he sneered at her through the frosty glass.

"What do you want?" he asked lowly.

"How can you do that, my Lord?" she whispered with flushed cheeks.

"Alexandra, get out. I have no time for your pestering." He snapped at her from over his shoulder.

"No, I won't. How can you speak to her like that?" she continued and she saw his shoulders tensing up with fury.

"I won't tell you again." He enunciated every word with precision.

"Perhaps you're right. The freedom you have granted me is indeed clouding my senses. So, I will ask you again, my Lord, and you can release me from my duties after that. How can you speak to her in such a manner? How can you have more respect for a street wench than your own wife?" she staggered over her words but kept talking.

"You know nothing of it. Get out."

"No."

At her insistence he whirled around to face her, "You will stop talking _now_."

"Moments of weakness and foggy senses are not enough to cover our own faults, my Lord. Do not lower your intelligence by thinking otherwise." She told him and he froze.

"You dare to speak to me like that? How dare you meddle with my personal affairs? You think you can lecture me because of some wrongly perceived notion that you can control me? I don't take orders from maids!" he spat as he eyed her with disdain and slight confusion.

Alexandra inhaled sharply at his words, "Yet you lower yourself enough to touch one." She told him with cheek and she did not see his next action coming.

His hand collided with her cheek in a sharp slap that had her seeing black dots from the force of it.

She cradled her cheek and turned to look at him as he stood there, breathing heavily. She could feel her top lip stinging and she realized that he must have caught it with his ring when he hit her.

Her eyes collided with his dark gaze and she swallowed hard as she tried to keep calm, forcing a neutral expression on her face.

"Don't be insolent again, Alexandra. Do you understand me?" he told her in a low voice as he lowered his hand and balled it in a fist by his side, "I hate it." He said fiercely through gritted teeth but she could not decipher the look in his eyes.

Before she had the chance to study his odd gaze more he passed by her and walked out of the room, leaving her alone.

It couldn't have been contrition in his gaze, could it?

**End of chapter 10**

**Author's note: Still here? Are you all angry at our dear Earl? Hmm, I think you are. But just see deeper into his opinions before you judge him about Elizabeth…I left a hint in there somewhere…**

**Thank you for reading! If you liked it please let me know by leaving me some feedback. Feed the muse, people! Also, make me happy because my birthday's on the 10th! :D**

**Join me on Facebook for fun and news! ;o)**

**Xxx Lina :o)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hello, dears! Welcome to another chapter!**

**I want to thank: LiaB, dionne dance, TinkerbellxO, armutt, Jay D. Moore, nuckythompson, ForeverACharmedOne, 88dragon06, XantheXV, Leyshla Gisel, MissMisc3, Makrciana, xoangelwingxo, LadyAmazon and . You all rock!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

**Chapter 11**

"_**Be terrified.**_

_**It's you I love, **_

_**Perfect man, Greek God, my own;**_

_**But I know you'll go, betray me,**_

_**Stray from home.**_

_**So better by for me if you were stone."**_

_**~Carol Ann Duffy, 'Medusa'**_

Alexandra pushed the plate away from her just as the kitchen door was pushed open. She looked up as Alcock made his way towards her, a small frown upon his still groggy face.

"He wants you to make him eggs." He stated and she blinked.

"What?" she asked stupidly.

"He said he wants breakfast." Alcock shrugged and she slowly stood up, picking up her half eaten plate and mug.

"Oh…Well, that's an improvement." She muttered and Alcock shook his head at her.

"How on earth did you do what you did? You know he doesn't like insolence, don't you?" he told her as he hopped onto the table and grabbed a pear.

Alexandra placed the dirty dishes on the counter, "How can he not like it when he uses it himself?" she asked and he snickered.

"Is that cut on your lip from him?"

She turned sharply towards him with her hands on her lips, "Mention that again and I will mention the time when he slapped _you_." She narrowed her eyes at him and Alcock cleared his throat.

"He did not slap me. He backhanded me. That's different." He defended himself and she rolled her eyes before she started on the eggs in silence.

Well, asking for breakfast was an improvement since he had been giving her the silent treatment for four days. He was not speaking, he was not ordering her around and she had to actually guess what he wanted her to do when it came to him. She had ventured into his bedchamber once and had cleaned up but he hadn't been in there at the time she had found the courage to do so.

He had not come to her in the night nor had he ordered her into his room at all. She had woken up one night from the click of her bedroom door though and she had felt wetness on her upper lip; as if someone had touched it with his mouth.

Shaking her head she cracked the eggs and continued quickly lest he changed his mind.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

When she walked into the study he was idly brushing his quill across his lower lip and his eyes were fixed on the parchment in front of him. She pushed the door fully open with her hip and made her way to his desk in silence. The fire was crackling behind him and she shivered for it did wonders for her chilled skin, especially for her hands.

She placed the tray with his breakfast near the edge of his desk, away from his various papers, and his eyes looked at the food sideways. She stepped back and his eyes left the tray to settle on her.

She tried hard not to fidget. Why was he always making her nervous and simply _queasy_ with anxiety? He made it worse by simply staring at her.

She bit the inside of her lip hard and released a deep breath when he looked away from her and actually started eating.

Her eyes shifted towards the empty bottle next to his ink pot and they narrowed. Had he _slept_ in there? Her eyes then went to his stock of parchments and from her place she could see his elegant handwriting. He had been working. She almost smiled but resisted the strong urge to do so.

She noticed that he had not ordered her to leave just yet. Odd.

Should she leave? She knew that he wasn't talking to her but it was improper for her to leave without having been excused. She tapped her foot impatiently but not loud enough for him to hear.

When he was half way through his eggs, he stopped and pushed the tray away.

"Are you done, my Lord?" she asked quietly and he looked at her.

"Isn't it obvious?" he replied crisply.

Alexandra took a deep breath, "I request permission to speak my mind." She blurted out and that caught his interest for he quirked a single eyebrow. How did he do that?

"You are actually asking me permission to speak? That's a novelty. Usually that mouth of yours never shuts up." He told her with bite and she swallowed thickly.

"If you no longer wish for me to be here you can dismiss me." She closed her eyes briefly and then opened them again so she could see his expression. He had a frown upon his face.

"Are you actually telling me what to _do_?" he asked her ever so quietly and she averted her gaze uneasily.

"It is obvious that my impudence is too much for you to stand. I am only-…"

"Silence." He cut her off sharply as he abruptly stood up and walked around his desk to get to her.

She tensed up as he came to stand a breath away from her.

"You are obviously not sorry for your cheek." He murmured as he eyed her face, "You simply wonder why I am not sending you away and be done with you. You believe that what you said was right. That you can defy me again." He continued and she took a step back. His hand shot out and grasped her elbow in a vice like grip. His hold was so strong that she actually gasped. His hand was cold.

"My Lord-…"

'Don't patronize me, Alexandra." He hissed at her and she shut her mouth, "I should have thrown you out of this house. My mother would. Be glad I am not my mother." He said to her in a low tone and she locked her eyes with his.

"W-will it help if I apologize?" she whispered and he narrowed his eyes at her question.

Her own eyes widened at her own words. Had she actually offered an apology? She knew that she had been right in talking back to him. She was not sorry for her insolence. She was sorry for not interacting with him though. The result of her actions had not sat well with her. She thought she knew why. She had started doing exactly what Lady Elizabeth was doing; excusing him for all his actions because she loved him-…

"Why would I need empty words?" His voice cut through her thoughts like a knife and she blinked, "You are not _actually_ sorry, are you?"

She took a deep breath, "I am not sorry for what I said, no. But I am sorry because…" she trailed off and his hand on her elbow tightened.

"Because?" he murmured and she licked her dry lips.

"I am sorry that it upset you." She whispered and he inhaled sharply before he let go of her arm.

She stumbled back from the force of it and she looked up at him with a frown.

"You pity me because you think you hurt my feelings." He scowled with derision and her cheeks flushed with anger.

"I don't think you have any feelings for me to hurt, my Lord." She spat and he seemed to freeze for a moment before he quickly composed himself and smirked at her.

"Ouch." He mockingly rubbed his chest, "That was a low blow, Alexandra."

She pressed her lips into a thin line, "I don't think I hurt your feelings, sir. I think what angered you the most was the fact that my words spoke the truth." She told him as she took a step closer, "You don't like it when you're faced with the truth."

He smirked as he looked down at her, "You have started speaking to me like my wife." He murmured as he eyed her, "You once claimed that you didn't wish for that role." His eyes wrinkled at the corners as if he was in deep thought, "What has changed?" he lifted a hand and placed the back of his fingers against her cheek.

She resisted the urge to close her eyes, "I'd never be your wife." She whispered and he smirked lopsidedly.

"Indeed." His eyes perused her form once and then settled upon her face again, "The question still remains though." He frowned, "Have I started affecting you? Do you perhaps enjoy my bed a little too much? Is that why my inattentiveness bothered you and made you speak just now?"

She briefly looked away and he chuckled, the sound deep and husky before he grasped her chin and made her look at him.

"You like my attentions, don't you? They all do. I should congratulate you because you haven't managed to bore me yet. A mighty accomplishment." He murmured and a shiver went through her at the look in his eyes. His thumb left her chin and brushed over her lower lip before he let it glide over her top lip. His tongue darted out to moisten his lips before he leaned down.

"So, to answer your question, I shan't send you away. I very much enjoy watching you squirm in anger." He breathed with a grin before he covered her lips with his own.

She jumped and placed her hands against his chest as his mouth pressed a warm but wet openmouthed kiss upon her lips. His hand left her jaw and he threaded his fingers in her hair, pulling her closer as he parted her lips with his tongue and rubbed it sensually against her inner lower lip. A low, foreign sound escaped the back of her throat and he smirked against her mouth before he put his free hand on her waist and pulled her closer so she could feel every part of his body pressed against hers.

Alexandra's eyelids felt heavy as he kept kissing her and she feared that her knees would buckle so she thrust a hand into his hair to anchor herself. At the gesture he broke the kiss to release a hoarse chuckle before he raised a hand to grasp her wrist. His fingertips briefly caressed her skin before he tightened his hold on her hand. He thrust it away from his hair and with a push against her waist he sent her back and away from him.

She gasped as her foot collided with a low stool and her eyes widened in alarm.

"Easy there, little tiger." He murmured with a laugh and if his eyes did not glimmer the way they did she'd have given him a piece of her mind.

"If I am a tiger then you are a snake, my Lord. You surely are just as sly." She said as her cheeks burned.

He smirked, "I'd rather think of myself as a lion." He said before he turned to walk back to his desk, "You may go." He called and she did without looking back.

Once she was out, she leaned against the door and touched her lips with her fingers. They were tingling.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Mr. Etherege was missing from the Earl's card game. He had been replaced however, by another young man who in Alexandra's eyes seemed at least polite.

Averting her eyes from the three men, she threw another log in the fire and placed her hands over the flames to warm them. She shivered but she jumped out of her skin when she felt someone draping a coat over her shoulders.

"If I may." The young man smiled at her and she returned it briefly before her eyes went to the Earl. He was looking at his companion with confusion which slowly formed into amusement.

"Good God, Billy. How kind." He murmured as he looked at Alexandra with an odd expression upon his face.

"My Lord." The blue eyed man gave a small bow before he returned to the table.

"It seems to me that you charmed yet another chap, Alexandra. How _repetitive_." The Earl drawled and Alexandra ignored him by pulling the coat more tightly around her shoulders.

"_Another_, Johnny?" Sackville asked with a smirk and the Earl glared at him.

"Your turn, Mr. Downs" he muttered and Alexandra smiled a bit to herself.

It had been a while since he had brought friends to his house.

"Don't just stand there, girl. Go and tidy my study. Do not throw anything away." Lord Rochester looked at her firmly and she gave a small bow before she turned to do as she was told.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Alexandra had noticed something peculiar about the Earl. When he wrote he used an odd pattern; he continued whatever work was in front of him the moment he sat down in his chair. He didn't stray from that subject unless something else was in front of him when he sat down to work.

So, as Alexandra stared down at the scattered papers and noticed the odd vulgar words of her master, she sighed and decided to do what she had done a couple of times before.

With subtle, quiet movements she picked up the work that was on top of his poems and placed it under the books he had at the right side of the desk. She glanced at the door to make sure she was alone and then she searched for the play she had noticed a couple of days back. She took a seat in his chair to look more quickly and after a minute she located the right parchments. She smiled and read through the sentences quickly to make sure she had the right one and then ever so gently placed it on top of his desk.

Smiling a bit she finished tidying up the rest of his study and tried not to think of what he'd do or say if he knew she had been manipulating him in such a way. He had to realize that his talent was not to be thrown away by his inability to appreciate his own work.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_A few days later…_

A hand slipped under her knees and another one coiled firmly around her back and she could do nothing more but wake up. She blinked rapidly and shivered as the heat of the fire stopped warming her up. She realized that she was being moved away from the fireplace while being carried and she froze. She looked up and the first thing she saw was the curly locks of the Earl's hair as they fell near the neckline of his white shirt.

As he started climbing up the stairs and passed by a snoring Alcock she grabbed at his expensive robe to anchor herself.

"What-…"

"You're not a dog to sleep on the floor." He cut her off as he rounded the corner and headed for his room. She tensed up as soon as she realized his intent but did not speak as he passed through his bedroom door. He placed her on the mattress, near the edge of the bed, and then stepped back to shut the door.

Alexandra took a look around and she flushed when she remembered what had happened the last time she had been in his chamber.

Her suspicions were raised when he bolted the door and turned to face her.

His hands grasped his robe and he pulled it off before he threw it on a chair by the door.

She gulped and looked at him hesitantly, "You didn't eat dinner."

He cocked an eyebrow, "It depends on what you mean by _dinner_." He murmured and she frowned, "I just got back so, no. I did not." He said as he padded barefoot towards her.

He came to stand in front of her and regarded her in silence before he reached out to grasp her arm. He pulled her up to her feet and gazed at her face for a moment before he reached out to untie the cord of her nightdress.

She reached up to halt his movements but he grasped her wrist with his free hand.

"No." he told her as if she was a baby that only understood short words and commands.

Her face flushed with irritation as he threw her hand away and carried on with what he had started. He stepped a bit closer and without breaking eye contact with her he reached for her hips. He bunched up the material of her clothing and he pulled it off in one swift move that made her gasp out loud.

He threw the nightdress on the carpeted floor and he briefly curled his fingers around her throat before he used his hold as leverage to push her back against the mattress. She fell on the sheets with a soft thud and before she had the chance to speak let alone blink, he had thrown the warm covers over her naked form.

She then realized that the covers had been pulled back; as if they were waiting for her.

"That thing is cold." He motioned to her discarded nightdress, "No wonder you're like ice. It's better without it." He informed her with a curl of his upper lip before he walked around the bed. He sat on the other side and reached for his half empty glass of wine. He leaned back against the pillows with it in his hand and gazed straight ahead.

As he stared forward, Alexandra wondered if she had no affect on him at all. He had seen her naked and he hadn't even looked below her face for God's sake. She didn't know why that particular knowledge bothered her. Was he like that with all the woman he fell into bed with?

Her eyes widened. Not that she wanted to be one of them. With that thought she huddled closer to the pillow and brought the covers more tightly around herself.

She watched with alert eyes as he drank from his glass and after a while of complete silence she cleared her throat.

"Christmastide is upon us, my Lord." She whispered and he rolled his eyes.

"Is that so? And I should care why?" he turned to look at her with boredom.

She shifted uneasily under his gaze but spoke up nonetheless, "Perhaps we should get a few presents. For Master Charles and-…"

"You want to get my children presents?" he cut her off with a frown.

She flushed, "Not me…I just thought that since…" she trailed off as his disgusted look, "It was just a thought." She muttered and he finished his drink in one go and then reached for her. He slipped his fingers under the covers and stroked the bare skin of her throat before he put the glass away.

"Yes, you do seem to make a lot of your thoughts a reality lately, little one." He murmured as he turned onto his side and slipped his hand lower and down her chest. She squirmed and he smiled sadly, "If you wish to leave why don't you? Right now?" he told her and she went still, "Pretending not to enjoy this is below your intelligence, Alexandra. You're insulting mine to."

She swallowed hard as his hand fully cupped her breast.

"You may do whatever you like about the gifts." He grimaced, "I do not care as long as you don't buy something that will make me look stupid." He waved a hand as he slipped under the covers as well but kept a little distance between them.

"But I doubt you'd do that." He smirked as he moved his thumb back and forth over the tip of her breast. She reached up to halt his hand by grabbing it with her own.

He smirked and leaned down to her, "Release my hand and I'll kiss you again." He murmured and her eyes widened.

"I d-don't…"

"But first answer me a question." He frowned as he reached up with his free hand and grasped her chin, "How long have you been rearranging my work?" he asked her and she almost swallowed her own tongue at his inquiry.

He had noticed? Oh God-…

"How long have you been telling me what to write without even speaking of it?" he almost snarled and she gulped.

"Not long-…'  
"How long?" he tightened his grip on her chin and she closed her eyes.

"Almost a month…maybe two." She whispered and his eyes flashed when she looked at them again.

"My little saint has turned sly." He murmured as his eyes studied her face; from her parted lips to her wide eyes. He let go of her chin and gently, with the slightest pressure, brushed his fingertip down her nose and then over her lips.

"_Me thought a serpent ate at my heart away, and you sat smiling at his cruel prey_." He recited and she frowned.

"Shakespeare." She murmured and he smiled. If he hadn't been so close she would have certainly detected the praise in his eyes.

"It fits, don't you think?" he hissed before he leaned down and pressed his mouth hard against hers, his teeth clashing with her own, biting down hard on her lower lip before he brushed his tongue over the bite, soothing it with his tongue until she panted for breath.

He pulled away and brushed the back of his finger down her cheek, "It's a good thing I need this commission from the King." He murmured with a frown, "Consider yourself lucky." He pulled back and he tugged his hand free from her death like grip. He grasped her around the waist and turned her away from him, pressing his chest against her back afterwards.

She more felt than heard him placing his head upon the pillow and as he did so she released a deep breath and nervously licked her lips. Funny, she could still taste him there.

**End of chapter 11**

**Author's note: What a strange man our dearest Earl is, no?**

**Thank you for reading! Please review before you leave. Reviews feed the muse and keep me happy in these hard times. ;o)**

**Xxx Lina :o)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hello and welcome back! I hope you are all having a great holiday!**

**I want to thank: armutt, LiaB, TinkerbellxO, Makrciana, nuckythompson, terrier2468, dionne dance, ForeverACharmedOne, Leyshla Gisel, MissMisc3, whatcatydidnext, XantheXV, Jay D. Moore, 88dragon06 and xoangelwingxo.**

**You are all awesome for sticking with me!**

**Song suggestion for this chapter: **_**Honey Bee by Madrugada**_**. If you have not heard it, because I myself discovered it recently, please do. It's amazing! It totally fits this story too. ;o)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine…Duh…**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

'_**Have a heart that never hardens, **_

_**A temper that never tires, **_

_**A touch that never hurts.'**_

_**~Charles Dickens **_

The bedchamber was veiled in complete darkness as Alexandra made her way inside while holding various boxes in her hands. Frowning and then cursing because her foot collided with a chair, she abandoned the boxes on the floor and then groped her way towards the windows.

In her ears, the deep even breaths of the man on the bed were familiar. So familiar that it bothered her. Could a person recognize another one by simply hearing his breathing? She didn't know but that was the case for her when it came to her master.

Shaking her head at her own thoughts, her dangerously alarming thoughts, she opened the window. As the chilly wind hit her, she shivered and once she had finally managed to let some light into the room she quickly closed it again. She rubbed her hands to warm them as she fixed the curtain and then slowly turned to face the bed.

She gasped and jumped when she saw that the Earl was already awake and looking at her from his place under the covers.

"What are you doing?" he murmured drowsily and she swallowed hard.

"Um, it's past noon, my Lord." She said quietly, "And it's two days before Christmas." She added as she eyed the various boxes by the door.

He groaned and rolled his eyes before he buried his face under his pillow, "So?"

Alexandra frowned, "I recall that you had business at the playhouse today…Or am I wrong?" she asked as she leaned down and started picking up his discarded clothes from the previous day. She folded his shirt but when she picked up his breeches she paused. The fabric was stained with red wine and something else that she didn't want to name. She cleared her throat as her cheeks flushed profoundly and bunched his clothes in a ball instead of folding them before she placed his boots by his bed in a way that he would not stumble into them on his way to the washroom.

"No. You're not. Of course." His voice was muffled by his pillow and when he pulled his head from under it and looked at her he cocked an eyebrow, "What on earth are you wearing?" he asked her with a surprised expression and she paused.

She looked down at her new dress and then at him, "Lady Rochester sent various things for me and Alcock, my Lord… Because of the holidays." She added the last sentence in a murmured voice.

He slowly sat up and let his eyes roam her form from head to toe. His gaze lingered on her corseted waist and she shifted nervously under his scrutiny.

"Um, I have bought the gifts you asked of me." She said as she turned and reached for the boxes, "I hope you approve." She muttered as she placed them on his bed and leaned forward to open one of them.

"Do you have any money left?" he asked her as she pulled out a small pair of boots.

Alexandra paused, "Eh…no. Um, but aren't these adorable?" she asked with a smile but the moment she looked at him the smile left her face. He was eyeing the boots with a grimace of…distaste, maybe?

"For my mother?" he drawled and she blinked.

"For Master Charles." She replied and he rolled his eyes before he grabbed the shoes from her hands and dropped them into their box.

"Right. What's next? A tortoise comb for Elizabeth?" he asked her with a scowl and Alexandra faltered.

He sneered, "Of course you bought that." He muttered as she held the beautiful comb up.

"I thought-…"

"What's next?" he cut her off in a weary voice and she lowered her eyes.

"Ribbons and scarves for the girls." She murmured as she started putting the items back in their boxes.

"I guess that's fine. You can send them with Alcock." He waved a dismissive hand at the gifts and Alexandra paused.

"You're not going to Adderbury for Christmas?" she asked him with a small frown and he looked up at her with raised eyebrows.

"And you care because?" he asked her right back and her cheeks flushed from anger this time.

"I don't." she snapped as she placed the boxes next to his bed and then stepped back.

Before she had the chance to go far, his hand shot out and hooked on her dress. He tugged her and she collided with the bed with an audible gasp.

She struggled in his arms and he rolled his eyes before he pulled her onto the bed. With a swift movement of his hands and legs she found herself on her back against his bed. Her eyes widened as he rolled on top of her and trapped her hands above her head by grabbing her wrists. His hips held her lower body down, pressing her bottom against the mattress and she could feel his hipbones digging into her skin even through their clothes.

She flexed her arms, checking his hold and when his fingers bit harshly into the skin of her wrists she stopped trying to escape him.

"Has anyone ever told you that your temper is downright annoying?" he breathed against her lips and his eyes burned her as he looked at her.

She gulped and averted her gaze for a brief moment before she muttered a response, "Yes."

He chuckled and tightened his hold on her hands again, his ink stained fingers iron vices around her wrists, "Temper is good…" he voiced after a moment, "It is thrilling and it speaks of spirit." He continued and then narrowed his eyes, "When you use it right that is." He eyed her face and abdomen before he released one of her hands to trail his hand down her front. His fingers brushed over her cleavage and slipped further down, leaving a burning trail in their way.

Alexandra shivered and settled her gaze on the opening of his shirt, not pulling her eyes away from the white patch of skin that was his chest.

"And have no fear. You use it right." He told her as he fingered the laces of her midnight blue dress, "How is it to have someone wrapped around your little finger, Alexandra?" he asked her roughly as he grabbed her chin between his fingers and lifted her face up so they were eye to eye.

She jutted her chin out and smiled sadly at him, "I could ask you the same, my Lord." She answered and he frowned, as if not comprehending her words. His eyes roamed her face and his hand gave her waist a last caress before he abruptly released her. He rolled away from her and lay down on his back, staring at the canopy.

Alexandra lingered for a moment before she stood, smoothing down her dress, "I shall send the boxes with Alcock then." She gave a small bow and then walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Alexandra gazed at the ceiling and turned to her side on the bed, wincing when it creaked noisily under her weight. She raised her fingers to her lips and nervously bit into the nail of her thumb. Her eyes roamed her chamber and then fell onto the nightstand next to her bed. She swallowed thickly and her indecision flickered like the light of the candle before she sat up on the mattress.

She licked her dry lips and opened the small drawer. Her fingers twitched over the rectangular box before she groaned and grasped it firmly in her hand. She pulled the wooden box out and laid it on her lap. Her eyes eyed it with disbelief and a bit of shock.

Had she actually spent all of her money on this? She wanted to scoff at her own odd actions. He didn't even visit his family, blatantly showing his dismissal for their desires and feelings. And then here she was, looking at something she had bought for him. She had the urge to take it back to the shop and ask for her money back but for some peculiar reason she didn't have the stomach to do it.

With fury at her own foolish gesture, she opened the lid and eyed the quill that lay inside. Was it worth her money?

The swan feathered quill stared back at her, mocking her with its elegance and she quickly shut the lid before she thrust it back in her drawer. She plopped back down on her mattress and eyed the nightstand with determination and a little bit of dread.

He had won once again. She would give it to him even if it resulted only in humiliation. She wasn't like him after all. She actually showed that she cared to people.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"I am leaving!" Alcock announced a bit breathlessly as he entered the kitchen with the boxes in his hands. Alexandra turned from the steaming pot to look at him and a chuckle escaped her at the sight of him.

"Good. You're not walking back there, are you?" she teased and he rolled his eyes.

"No. I am taking a carriage... I just got back from the inn." He said as he eyed the food she was cooking.

"Oh?" she stirred the sauce but at his expression she faltered.

"Let me guess, he won't come back today." She stated and he shrugged.

"Probably not. But hey, it's Christmas. Eat it all on your own…Or save me some for when I come back." He grinned widely but Alexandra was not in the mood for his teasing.

"No use!" she snapped as she threw the spoon in the pot and sat down in a chair, "It'll be ruined tomorrow." She muttered as she eyed her cold hands.

Alcock gazed at her for a moment before he spoke, "You want to come with me? He won't notice since he'll be gone." He suggested quietly and she looked up at him, her eyes soft.

"No. It's fine. Aren't you numb yet?" she asked while pointing at his full of boxes hands.

He grimaced, "Aye."

"Then go." She laughed and with a last wink he walked away, leaving her alone.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Her fingers pushed the box a bit to the right and then to the left. Her indecision was still eating at her but she finally pulled her hands away with a groan and stepped back from his nightstand. She took a look around the semi dark room, just to make sure she had tidied up everything, and then she turned on her heel and walked away.

Her feet were the only sound as she padded down the stairs and slowly made her way towards the servants' quarters. She was halfway to her room when she heard noises coming from the front door.

With a frown, she made her way back to the hall and she was surprised when she saw the Earl entering the house. She took a step closer but she faltered when she saw that he wasn't alone. A woman trailed in after him and Alexandra had only seen her twice before but she remembered her.

"My Lord." Alexandra gave a small bow and he looked up.

"Aren't you in bed yet?" he asked her, his voice slightly slurred and she inhaled sharply.

"I was just going to turn in-…"

"Then do so. You are dismissed for the day." He waved his hand at her as he headed towards her. He shrugged out of his coat and handed it to her, pausing in his footsteps as he did so. His eyes took her in and a small smirk lightened his features when he eyed her bare feet.

"Or," he started as he turned slightly to the left and wrapped an arm around Jane's waist who smiled at him and then at Alexandra, "You can join us." He murmured as he caught her chin between his fingers and flicked his thumb across her lower lip.

Jane seemed surprised and turned to look at the Earl with wide eyes while Alexandra pulled her face from his grasp and stepped back.

"I'll have to decline." She said with a tight lipped expression and he released Jane, propelling her forward.

"Go upstairs." He murmured without taking his eyes from Alexandra.

Jane gave a small bow and headed for the stairs while he stepped closer to Alexandra, invading her personal space and causing her to take a step back.

She jumped when her back collided with the wall and he smirked again, "Oh, my little saint. I knew you'd decline but no one is ever going to call me rude." He murmured as he brushed the back of his fingers against her cheek in a caress, "I don't blame you though." He frowned as he eyed her face and she gulped.

He grinned, "I know you don't like to share." He gave a small wink and flicked her chin with his thumb before he pulled his hand away from her face and fingered a lock of her hair instead. He inhaled deeply before he stepped back completely.

Alexandra tightened her hold on his coat and her eyes widened when she realized that he would see her gift while he…

_Oh God._

"Um, I don't…" she trailed off and he held a hand up.

"Merry Christmas." He murmured with a frown before he turned and headed for his room.

Alexandra released a shaky breath once he was gone and closed her eyes.

"Fool." She hissed before she turned and headed for her room. She bolted the door behind her.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

She only dared to enter his chamber late the next morning, when she was sure that he was in the washroom taking his bath.

Once she stepped inside the heady scent of alcohol assaulted her nostrils and she grimaced as she walked immediately to the window to open it. She jumped when she heard a cracking noise under her feet and looked down. Broken glass was scattered near the window and the room looked like it had been invaded by troops.

Shaking her head, she leaned down and picked up the fallen covers. She cleaned the mattress from any sheets and then righted the settee at the foot of the bed. She picked up the empty bottle that lay discarded on the floor but something near the nightstand caught her eye. Frowning, she stepped closer and pulled the box from under the furniture. Her eyes widened when she realized it that it was the box that used to carry her gift. But it was empty. Her eyes perused the room but she could not find the quill. She checked under the bed but again nothing. She sat up and then her eye fell onto the pillow that was thrown haphazardly to the ground. Crawling towards it she picked it up. Her heartbeat accelerated when she finally found the quill. It was broken in two. Her heart dropped to her stomach because she knew that it had not been done on purpose. He hadn't even noticed it for if he had he would have asked her questions, demanded an explanation from her. But he had not said a word about it when she had prepared his bath.

With shaky hands she picked up the broken object and gazed at it glumly.

"What on earth are you doing there?" his voice startled her and she quickly got to her feet, turning towards him with the pillow and quill in her hands.

"Nothing." She said too quickly as she thrust the hand with the quill behind her back.

Rochester eyed her with suspicion, "You're a terrible liar, Alexandra. Show me your hand." He motioned to the hand behind her back and she gulped.

"What hand?"

His eyes darkened, "Don't play me for a fool, girl. Show me your hand. The one behind your back." He took a few steps closer.

Alexandra tried to sidestep him but his hand shot out and grasped the back of her head while his free one plucked the pillow from her hand.

"By God, you're blushing." He noted with interest, "What has you in such a rush to get away, I wonder?" he cocked an eyebrow before he reached around her.

His hand pried her fingers open and he took the broken quill from her.

Immediately he frowned, "What's this?" he asked her quietly as he fingered the broken pieces.

"A quill, my Lord." She replied with wide eyes, surprised that she did not stutter.

"I can see that. Where did you find it?" he asked her with exasperation.

"H-here."

"I don't recall owing a swan quill…" his eyes flew to her face and he eyed her with suspicion and mild surprise, "Did you get this?" he asked her and she eyed the item in his hand with loathing before she licked her dry lips.

"You did." He murmured before he released her and gazed at the ruined writing tool, "Did you get it for me?" he asked her and she could feel her skin burning with mortification.

He tried hard to find her gaze with his eyes and when he couldn't he grasped her chin and made her look up at him.

"Answer the question, Alexandra." He told her quietly and she opened her mouth to answer but for some odd reason she felt her eyes stinging. What on earth had she been thinking?

She blinked and in an act of bold courage and cheek, she plucked the quill from his hand and stormed past him without looking back. What shocked her the most was that he actually left her alone for the rest of the day after that.

**End of chapter 12**

**Author's note: Thank you for reading…As you can see Alexandra did not have a very Merry Christmas…**

**Ahem, please review before you go. It's my only payment and it will also work as a Christmas gift!**

**Xxx Lina :o)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Happy New Year! I hope the new year is treating you well so far!**

**I want to thank my reviewers: Ritsikas, 88dragon06, ForeverACharmedOne, Guest, terrier2468, dionne dance, armutt, Makrciana, MissMisc3, xoangelwingxo, Jay D. Moore, Leyshla Gisel, TinkerbellxO, XantheXV, LadyAmazon and music is life 99 xxx.**

**Thank you all for supporting this story!**

**Another thank you to the readers even if they don't comment. **

**Oh and proceed with caution...Mature themes ahead. ;o)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

_**I wish to be nothing more**_

_**Than the cedar by your house**_

_**Than a bough on the cedar**_

_**Than a branch on the bough**_

_**Than a leaf on the branch**_

_**Than a shadow of the leaf**_

_**Than a wave of the shadow**_

_**That for one second cools your brow**_

_**~Malayan Love Songs, Yvan Goll**_

"Leave that." The voice made her jump and she dropped the hot pot of chicken soup on the ground. The hot liquid fell on her dress and feet and she yelped before she whirled around to face the intruder.

The Earl cocked an eyebrow at her and entered the kitchen, his eyes taking in the place around him.

"Where was your mind, Alexandra?" he murmured as he eyed her oddly.

She stepped back from the mess on the floor and straightened her posture, "I apologize. May I help you with something?" she asked quietly, careful to avoid eye contact with him.

He paused and then nodded, "You know how to sew, correct?" he asked her and she frowned.

"I do…Do you need-…"

"Then get ready. You're coming with me." He told her as he turned to leave.

Alexandra gaped at him, "Where?" she called and just before he walked out he replied.

"To the playhouse."

Her eyes widened.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

She tilted her head to the side and eyed the vest in her hand. She held up the needle with the golden thread and licked her lips. Now this was tricky. She wasn't that good a seamstress. She knew basic things but embroidery was not her forte. Nevertheless, she pulled the sharp tip through the fabric and started lining the neckline with the golden thread. People were moving around the room, actors and actresses were having costume rehearsals but she was content sitting by the corner where she was not visible. The light was sufficient enough and it did not tire her eyes too much. She could hear the Earl speaking a few feet away and she was immediately tempted to look up and gaze at him. She resisted the urge by prickling her finger with the needle. It proved to be a big enough distraction and she was glad.

A tap on the shoulder made her look up and she frowned when she saw two girls looking at her.

"Um, yes?"

They looked at one another and the blonde one spoke up, "You're here with Lord Rochester?" she asked and Alexandra narrowed her eyes.

"Yes…"

"So, you reside with him?" the redhead one asked and Alexandra blinked in confusion.

"Uh…yes."

The two women looked at each other again and then burst into fits of giggles that confused Alexandra all the more.

"Away with you. You're supposed to be practicing." Another female voice cut in and Alexandra looked at Jane with relief.

The two girls carried on laughing but they walked away nonetheless and Alexandra craned her neck to stare after them before she turned her gaze on Jane.

"Don't mind them." Jane waved a hand at the women and smiled down at her, "Weak in the head."

Alexandra smirked, "I noticed."

"You need help with those?" Jane asked as she dropped down next to her and reached for a vest.

Alexandra paused, "You know how to sew?"

Jane looked at her with a raised eyebrow, "Why else am I here so early?" she asked and Alexandra flushed, "I'd still be in bed if it was my decision." Jane mumbled as she grabbed a needle and some thread.

"Oh."

Jane regarded her for a moment before she chuckled, "You're still upset over those girls. Well, you can't blame them."

Alexandra laughed, "I suppose, I can't."

"Indeed." Jane smiled and shrugged, "People will always talk anyway. Especially if it's about him." She murmured and Alexandra frowned. So everyone thought that she was…Oh. Wonderful.

Pursing her lips she carried on with her work in silence.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"We meet again." A soft male voice made her turn around and she almost dropped the glass of water she was holding. The blue eyes of Billy Downs caused her to blush with their intensity.

"Mr. Downs." She gave a small bow and encouraged by her greeting he approached.

"You're aspiring to be an actress, Ms…" he trailed off and she smiled.

"Stravinsky. Alexandra Stravinsky. And no, I am not." She said quickly and he frowned.

"Stravinsky…Is that Russian?" he asked and she was surprised that he was interested in her roots. The Earl had never asked-…

_Don't even go there._ Her inner voice warned her and the voice was right.

"I am. From my father's side." She replied with a small nod.

"Interesting. You speak Russian?" he asked as he leaned against the wall and regarded her keenly.

"No…not really. My father died young so I didn't have the opportunity to spend much time with him." She answered with a small shrug and he smiled.

"I see." he murmured and the way he looked at her made her fidget, "Um…perhaps you're not indisposed for a walk?" he asked her softly and her eyes widened.

"A walk?" she whispered, "I…"

"She is free for the rest of the evening, Mr. Downs." The Earl's voice cut her to the bone and her eyes went to his. They locked on his dark orbs but something in his gaze was…peculiar. His words were granting her permission to do as she pleased but his expression told a different story altogether. It was as if he was testing her. He wanted to know what she'd do if she was free to do as she pleased.

To sum it up; it was a trap and she had no plans to fall right into it.

"I must decline, sir. I have work in the house." She replied, finally pulling her eyes from the Earl's. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him smirking and she wanted to slap the smirk right off his face. The desire and ardor for a slap increased when she noticed the woman behind him. Ms. Barry was gazing at the scene with confusion and at that moment Alexandra knew what mistake she had just made.

"But I would gladly make some tea for you, sir." She added and Mr. Downs smiled.

"Only if our Lord approves." He turned to his friend who had his glare fixated on Alexandra.

When he remained silent, Mr. Downs cleared his throat and shook his head, "Never mind-…"

"Do as you please." The Earl ground out at last before he turned on his heel and walked away.

Ms. Barry hesitated and stared at Alexandra for a long time before she turned on her heel and followed her tutor out of the playhouse.

Alexandra blinked away the tears and smiled at the man in front of her.

"After you." He smiled back and extended a hand towards the exit.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Alexandra smoothed down the quilt and fluffed the pillow, lost in her thoughts. The moment she heard footsteps coming from the washroom, she immediately stepped back from the bed and bowed her head.

"I just put an extra quilt, my Lord. It's very cold-…Oh!" she exclaimed when he stormed up to her and wrapped a hand around her neck. He slammed her against the closest wall and she groaned from the impact.

"I know why you did this. To teach me a lesson." He murmured as he eyed her face and form with wild brown eyes, "But if you ever behave so whorishly again I will make sure to cut off what makes him a man." He hissed and her eyes widened when he pulled her from the wall and threw her on the bed. Her back hit the cushions with a soft thud and her eyes widened when he shrugged out of his robe and climbed on the bed, trapping her between his body and the mattress. His fingers threaded through her hair and he used his hold as leverage to tilt her head back, exposing her neck and she whimpered as the movement brought pangs of pain on her throat and scalp.

"You know how to push me, don't you?" he breathed as he found her eyes with his, "You know exactly what to do and say. How did you get to know me so well?" he hissed as he tugged on her hair.

Alexandra tried to keep calm because she knew from the start that her meeting with his friend would enrage him. There was also the intimate gesture of her giving him a present that he had not yet discussed. So she knew that she had it coming. It had taken him too long to respond anyway.

"You forget, my Lord, that I am living with you." She whispered and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Are you saying that you've gotten…_used_ to me?" he spat and she frowned.

"In a way. Is that so horrible? I am after all the housekeeper." She murmured and he sneered.

"Housekeeper. Housekeeper? Is that all you are? Do all housekeepers buy their masters gifts?" he asked and she gulped.

She remained silent and the sneer left his face only to be replaced by a frown. He studied her face for a while before he shook his head.

"You little fool." He whispered and she bit down hard on her tongue, "You little sentimental fool." His fingers tightened around her strands before he swiftly caught her lips with his own. Alexandra's eyes widened and her hands flew to his waist, her fingers hooking on the material of his breeches as he parted her lips with his tongue and deepened the kiss, pressing her harder against the mattress until she couldn't tell where she ended and where he began.

As fast as it happened it was over and he was pulling away from her. Her eyes snapped open and she stared at him as he reached for the drawer of his nightstand and pulled something out of it. She started sitting up but his voice stopped her.

"Don't you dare move." His warning was a dark hiss of authority and she froze.

He shut the drawer and turned to her with something clasped in his fist. He crawled towards her again and placed a hand next to her head.

"I had no intention to give in to your…pathetic display of affection." He started and Alexandra was shocked by how quickly his mood was altered.

"But…" he trailed off before he grabbed her hand and placed two small cold items inside.

Alexandra swallowed thickly and raised her hand. She froze and her heart skipped a beat. Two tiny emerald earrings were mocking her with their glimmering beauty. She looked up, at a loss for words and he rolled his eyes.

"Good God, you're not going to cry, are you?" he muttered as he rolled away from her and looked up at the canopy.

"My Lord…" she started and he rolled his eyes.

"What?"

"My ears are not pierced." She said blankly because she was certain that he would not appreciate any kind of sentiment.

His head turned towards her sharply and he narrowed his eyes. Something akin to amusement stretched upon his face and she averted her eyes in fear of what he'd see in there.

"Easily settled." He murmured and she looked at him from over the corner of her eye, "Tell me something, little one." He whispered as he rolled towards her and propped his head up on his hand, "What do you want?" he asked and she blinked.

"My Lord?" she whispered as she closed her fingers around the earrings and turned a bit towards him.

"What do you want from me?" he clarified and she gulped.

"Nothing." She shook her head and he narrowed his eyes before he reached out and grabbed her waist, hauling her towards him.

"Liar." He accused as he pressed her to him and slipped a hand between them, "I know what you want." He murmured as he bunched up her heavy skirt and grabbed her thigh, "You want soft gazes and…_cuddles_." He spat the word out but she barely understood him for in a swift move he had her on her back.

"And love." He added and she pressed her closed fist against the pillows as he slithered his way between her thighs, "It's a sad thing I don't know what that is."

Alexandra licked her lips, "I am sure you do." She shook her head and he sneered.

"Again you are foolish enough to presume that I have a heart." He spat and she took a deep breath before she placed her hand on his chest and hooked her legs around his waist. In a swift move she had him on his back and his expression was one of surprise and…what was that thing glimmering in the dark depths that were his eyes? She wasn't sure.

"And you're ignorant enough to think that love is supposed to be soft." She murmured and he narrowed his eyes before he grabbed her hips and rolled her over again. He sat back on his knees and rolled her onto her stomach, his hand grabbing her empty one and pressing it hard against the pillow before he placed his hand on her lower back, keeping her pressed down.

"Are you meaning to tell me that…" his breath disturbed the fine hair behind her ear as he spoke and she shivered, "That I can do this?" his fingers hooked on the laces of her corset and he tugged hard. Her body shook from the force and her eyes became as wide as saucers as his mouth, warm and wet, fell upon the arc of her neck. His hand tore at the laces even further and when they were loosened enough he placed both hands at her shoulders. His fingers hooked on the fabric of her dress and he pulled it down her shoulders until it was bunched up around her waist. His hand slipped under her shift and touched the soft skin of her chest before he grabbed the linen material with both hands and tore it in two. Alexandra whimpered and he bit her shoulder in response before he pushed the shift away for better access.

"I want an answer, Alexandra." He hissed as his hands briefly massaged her shoulders and then slipped lower, down her bare arms.

How could he expect an answer when her head was spinning so? His hands were not helping either. But unlike other times the response came immediately and fell almost unconsciously from her lips.

"Yes. Anything." She breathed and for a moment she felt him pause, his entire body going taut before he let out a small groan.

His chin came to rest on her shoulder as he leaned over her back and his hands found her breasts as he spoke into her ear, "Now you really shouldn't have said that." He whispered almost breathlessly and even though she couldn't see him she could sense the smile on his lips.

He removed his hands from her chest and reached with his right one towards the nightstand. He grabbed his discarded cravat and leaned over her again.

"The earrings." He breathed as he pried her fingers open and took them. He placed them on the nightstand and then grabbed both of her hands. Alexandra gasped when he tugged her hands forward and then tied them to the headboard tightly.

"So, you won't be tempted to shy away." He whispered into her ear before he brushed his hands down her arms, smirking when her breathing escalated and when sweat formed on her brow.

"Shh." He hushed her as he brushed her hair away from her neck and trailed a path of hot kisses down her back. His teeth nipped at her skin and his tongue laved at a tiny birthmark on her lower back before his hands grabbed her skirt and started pulling it up. His mouth found the side of her face a moment later and her eyes drifted shut as his lips brushed against the corner of her mouth. He tilted his head and captured her lips fully, making the spinning of her head even worse when he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her up so her back was pressed tightly against his front.

"On your knees." He breathed hoarsely and her eyes snapped open. Her skin felt too warm, her eyes were stinging from her various emotions and her mouth was dry; so dry that it made swallowing a painful process. Nevertheless, she obliged like she usually did and when she sat up his hands flew to grasp her waist. They lingered there for a moment before they dropped under her dress. He played with the waistband of her undergarments for a moment before he freed her of them in one swift move.

A wave of total silence fell over them then and Alexandra's breathing got caught in her throat when she realized what was about to happen. But no, he didn't do what she expected him to do. He pressed his chest against her back and his finger brushed over the small birthmark on her back again before he placed his palm against her belly. His lips found the skin of her neck once more and when he parted her legs with his knee she gasped and tugged against her bonds.

"You said anything." He murmured as he tightened his hold on her and slipped his free hand between her thighs, "Well, this is what I want." His voice was rough but oh-so smooth in her ears and she bit her lip as his touch sent a wave of shivers up and down her spine. She could feel how tense her thighs and spine were but in a moment of sheer weakness and stupidity she let go and parted her legs further to accommodate his dexterous touch. She sagged against him and shut her eyes as his fingers moved like that first time. Her head fell back against his shoulder and from that angle she could feel his breath on the corner of her mouth. Surprisingly enough only the scent of mint reached her nostrils and that for some reason made her smile because it meant that he was sober.

She didn't know if he saw her smile or not but his lips fell on hers with such force that their teeth clashed together. His hand cupped her cheek for a moment before he used it to break the kiss by tilting her head away from his moist mouth. His hand pressed hard against her back and she gasped when she fell on the mattress. His fingers disappeared from between her legs and then she heard the rustle of fabric. She bit down hard on her lower lip and dared to look back towards him. His eyes were dark and unfathomable and his pupils so dilated that she could barely make out the brown in them. His hands were busy in unfastening his breeches and curly locks of his hair were falling over his forehead and cheeks, barely hiding his flushed from desire skin. He was mesmerizing in the most debauched way and Alexandra had to look away because she feared that she'd go blind. She could feel her heart beating wildly against her ribcage and she threaded her fingers together, not caring of the increasing numbness she felt on her hands.

It didn't take him long to put his hands on her again. She could feel the fabric of his shirt brushing her bare back and when he pressed his pelvis against her lower back she felt the material of his breeches scratching the back of her thighs. His lips closed around her earlobe and his knees pried her legs further apart so he could snuggle between them. A small foreign sound escaped her lips when he grabbed her hips and when he finally entered her she groaned and clumped her eyes shut. Every muscle in her body tensed and she could feel the strain spreading from her core to the rest of her body like a tidal wave. Her nails bit into the tender skin of her palms because it hurt, oh God it hurt, but she didn't dare speak. If she did he would stop, she knew he would and she didn't want that because he was there. He was everywhere at once and he was warm and solid and everything she shouldn't want. And when he moved she felt as if the pain couldn't get any worse but then his lips were on her hair, on her cheek, on her neck and then it was better because his hand cupped her bound ones and caressed them softly. A tremulous breath left her parted lips and when he groaned low in her ear she flushed so much that she felt as if she was on fire.

She could feel his fingers digging into the skin of her hip and when she winced he paused. She could feel his labored breaths against her cheek and a moment later he was freeing her hands and grabbing them both in his own. His hips pulled back only to push forward again and she whimpered. His hiss was loud and sharp against her ear and then his hand was on her side.

"Loosen up." He breathed as he slipped a hand between the mattress and her belly and dipped it lower.

A surprised gasp echoed in the silence around them as his fingers found her flesh and when his next thrust came it was easier. Her hands grabbed at the pillow under her and she arched her back.

"Good girl." He murmured in her ear as he caressed her side with his free hand and then used it to brush her hair away from her face. She pressed her cheek against the pillow and from there she could see his face. His lips were parted and beads of sweat were glistening right above his top lip. His fingers stroked her flushed cheek and when they brushed over her lips she bit down hard on his thumb. A hoarse chuckle escaped his panting lips and he leaned even closer to her.

"There's my little tiger again." He whispered as he stroked the inside of her bottom lip with his thumb. The saltiness of his skin was heady on her tongue and she gave a small moan of helplessness. He pulled his finger away and prolonged her torture by slipping it into his own mouth long enough to taunt her before he pulled back altogether and grabbed hold of her hips. He rolled her over onto her back and she gasped when he let his body drop onto hers. He was inside her a moment later and it was much easier for her to breathe that way. And she could finally see him. His legs widened her stance and his hands grabbed her own, pressing them hard against the pillow as he threw his head back and moaned hoarsely. She started tugging one of her hands out of his hold and he momentarily resisted before he finally let it go. Her palm cupped his cheek and his delirious eyes locked with her misty ones. She felt him leaning into her touch but then he snarled and gave a sharp twist of his hips, driving into her with so much force that her head collided against the headboard. She cried out, half from the pain, half from the pleasure and her fingers delved deep into his hair, twisting themselves hard around and through the strands until he hissed from the sting.

"Alexandra." He murmured as he dipped his head down towards her and caught her lower lip between his teeth, gently biting it and then soothing the pain with his lips and tongue.

His hand slipped down to her knee and he pulled it more firmly around his waist, pressing himself deeper as if trying to reach her very soul. A choked cry escaped her lips and he smothered it with a kiss before his back arched and he went completely still. He held himself up with his elbows and his rapid breaths fell upon her lips like a caress. When she was coherent enough to open her eyes, she realized that he had his own closed. His lips were parted and sweat was running down his neck, soaking his wrinkled shirt. His pelvis was still pressed against her and his hands were idly playing with her hair.

Her own hand was still buried in his locks and her thighs were still locked around his waist in a death grip.

Stifling a groan she loosened her grip around his hips and then his eyes opened. She froze at the clear, intense look in them and her throat went even drier.

"Now we're even." He murmured and she frowned.

"My Lord?" she whispered and he smirked.

"You gave me one lesson, I gave you one too." He told her as he pulled slightly back and looked down between them. He grabbed her thigh and withdrew from her before he came to lie down next to her.

Her entire body felt sore and every muscle hurt but a feeling of warmth was spreading all over her, not leaving her enough room for regrets.

"Ready for lesson two, little one?" he asked her and her head snapped towards him. He couldn't possibly…again.

He smirked, "Tempting." He husked as he brushed a hand over her inner thigh, "But I don't think walking will be much enjoyable for the rest couple of days anyway." He informed her and her entire body erupted in goose bumps while her skin turned even redder if possible.

He laughed and pulled the covers of the bed over them before he reached for his nightstand. He pulled out a box and waved a needle at her.

"Now about those ears of yours." He started as he placed the tip of the needle over the candle and grabbed the bottle of gin that was on his nightstand.

Alexandra could only watch as he crawled over her for a totally different reason.

When he was done, the two emerald earrings on her ears were glimmering in the candlelight. But she knew what they meant. They were just a polite way of expressing his claim over her. A leash would have been too low for an Earl, wouldn't it?

What disturbed her the most was that she didn't mind. She was lost; lost in him. Forever.

**End of chapter 13**

**Author's note: Still here? Phew! Great! Please, please review! The Earl would greatly appreciate it! ;o)**

**The ones interested in Public Enemies should go and check the preview for my new story about it. It's on Livejournal and Tumblr. ;o)**

**Xxx Lina :o)**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello and welcome back! Thank you so much for the great response to the latest chapter. I never thought this story would go so well. The Earl has funs! Yay! Ahem, anyway. A huge thank you to: Lurid Amarinthine, IgnitingFireworks, dionne dance, watcatydidnext, Makrciana, 88dragon06, nuckythompson, ForeverACharmedOne, MissMisc3, Jay D. Moore, armutt, Leyshla Gisel, xoangelwingxo, NMBC-Sally, ladyAmazon, XantheXV and TinkerbellxO. You all rock!**

**Mature themes ahead, people. Proceed with caution. ;o)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

The fire was crackling as Alexandra came to stand in front of it. She shivered and outstretched her hands towards it, trying to warm them.

"Oi! What are those buggers?" Alcock's voice startled her and she whirled around.

"What? Rats again?" she asked as she eyed the floor, "I put poison again-…"

"Those in your ears." He pointed at her ear and she paused.

"Oh. Earrings." She said after a moment of silence.

"I see what they are. Who got them for you?" he asked with a lecherous grin and she rolled her eyes.

"No one-…"

"Liar. When did you pierce your ears?" he asked and she hesitated.

"About three days ago." She replied as she took the pot away from the fire and walked over to the table. She poured the tea into two cups and handed one to him.

"Huh. Who did it?" he asked as he picked up the cup and took a sip, shivering as he did so, "We should be drinking alcohol with this awfully cold weather not tea." He added with a scowl and she sighed.

"Alcohol is expensive and reserved for-…"

"The Lord. Yes, yes. So how did he pierce your ears?" he asked her and she was shocked.

"How did-…"

"Please. I've seen the way he stares at them as you move around the house. Where did he get the money for such a gift I wonder?" He murmured thoughtfully but Alexandra could do nothing but blush.

"I don't know-…"

"Has he shagged you yet?" he blurted out and she flushed even more.

"Don't be ridiculous!" she snapped and he actually seemed contrite. Alexandra felt bad because he was right.

"Right. Apologies. You'd never be one of his wenches. You're too bloody sentimental for that. Fancy a walk with me?" he grinned at her toothily and she snorted.

"No. But I can send _you_ for a walk." She laughed and he pouted before he turned to walk away.

"You're mean. Careful of what he might ask in return." He called before he disappeared out of the door. Alexandra faltered at his words and her eyes widened. What if he was right? But hadn't she already given something in return? She had slept with him. She was shocked at her own deed. When did she become so bloody weak? She should be disgusted for giving in to him like the rest of them but instead she was disgusted that she actually craved his touch. It was pathetic, ridiculous and above all bloody sick! Sick because the feelings increased and did not disappear by his violent possession of her. Good God, she was trapped by her own heart. People always loved what were bad for them, what made them weak. It was human nature and she knew it.

"My Lord." She heard Alcock greet suddenly and she stiffened up immediately.

"Get me my horse." The Earl's voice was groggy but sharp and she shivered. She quickly pulled her hair out of the braid and let it fall over her shoulders and ears. She didn't know why she did that but it just felt like something she should do. What if he wasn't alone?

Turning away from the door, she busied herself with the teapot instead. His footsteps arrived but stopped at the threshold and from her place she could hear the steady sound of his breathing. She shivered and her cheeks flushed with color all of the sudden. She lowered her eyes as he moved from the threshold and approached her. He came to stand directly behind her and then his hand was at her neck, pushing her hair away with his warm hand. The skin at the side of her neck prickled and as his hand snaked around her chest to finger her throat the weakness in her legs became more pronounced and as his breath fanned over her cheek and ear the forgotten soreness between her legs returned with a vengeance. Her breath quickened as his fingers tucked her hair behind her ear.

"You're hiding them again. What have I told you?" he murmured in a low voice and she gulped, trying and failing to force air to her lungs.

"Breathe." He laughed hoarsely against her ear before he gently bit down on the lobe, causing her to sway lightly on her feet. His command helped, as if she had been waiting for it, and she inhaled deeply. His hand flattened against her stomach and when he had her flush against his chest his hand travelled south. Her eyes widened and her hands flew to his forearm as his wicked fingers brushed over her inner thigh through her skirt.

"Are you sore?" he whispered and she could hear the smirk in his voice.

Good God, how did he know?

Not trusting her voice she merely nodded and when he chuckled and his hand reached up to brush over her chest, she shivered.

"Good." He pressed a kiss to her ear and then pulled back, "You have to tidy up my study again. I have to go to Adderbury but I will be back tonight."

Alexandra gulped in huge amounts of air before she turned to look at him. He was brushing his hand down the table when she turned towards him.

He paused when he noticed her eyeing him with hesitance and he smirked.

"Don't fidget around me girl." He told her and she averted her eyes as he continued, "It's not you." He narrowed his eyes at her, "Besides, I don't think a fuck is sufficient enough to tame you. Not that I wish it. It'd be dull." He added and her eyes flared up at his words. Did he have to be so crude?

His lips turned up into a devious smirk at the fire in her eyes, it was as if he relished in it.

"Save that spark for later. I have to go." He shot her a wink before he turned and walked out of the kitchen, his coat billowing behind him, leaving her alone and frozen to the spot.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Is your Master here?" Elizabeth Barry stood in the doorway, holding tightly onto her cloak and Alexandra stiffened. What did she want? She had the very prominent urge to close the door on her face but she knew that would be uncalled for. She had the foolish assumption that he was not spending much time with her outside the playhouse. She obviously had been wrong. The more she gazed at the actress the more her anger flared. A strange emotion bubbled low in her belly and it made her stomach churn with nausea. She placed a hand surreptitiously at her stomach to hold in her dinner before she plastered a small smile on her face, pushing the foreign feeling aside. She was not ready to name that burning emotion that was scorching her insides with irk and pure despair. She would not show it to anyone either; ever.

"No." she shook her head as she replied at last.

"Will he be long?" Barry asked with a sigh and Alexandra knew that he would be returning soon but she didn't want to admit it to the woman in fear of making her stay.

"I am not certain." She said at last, the lie passing through her lips with ease.

"I will wait." The other woman said before she burst through the door and slowly made her way towards the parlor where the fire was still bright and hot at the hearth.

Alexandra's lips formed a grimace before she shut the door and followed in after the woman. She was standing in front of the fire, a few papers clasped in her hand.

"Where is he?" Elizabeth asked as she turned to Alexandra.

Alexandra folded her hands across her belly before she answered, "My Lord has gone to Adderbury. To his wife." She added the last sentence just to irritate the woman and it worked. Barry's cheeks flushed with anger and her mouth formed a thin line of derision.

"Is that so? And he tells you all about his business?" Barry asked and Alexandra frowned.

"I'm sorry?" she asked but Barry turned away from her.

"I would care for some tea." The woman said tightly and Alexandra wanted tea too. She wanted to grab the teapot that she had in the fire and pour it all over that woman's head.

"Of course." She replied as she pushed her hair behind her ear.

When she made to leave Barry spoke again.

"Wait." She ordered almost imperiously and Alexandra looked at her.

"Yes?"

But the woman was approaching with rapid footsteps and a shocked expression.

"What is that?" she asked and Alexandra pulled back when the actress made to touch her earlobe.

"Excuse me?" she reared her head back and away from the other woman's hand.

"Those earrings….Where did you get them?" she asked as she eyed the emerald gems with something akin to betrayal, "Did you steal them?"

Alexandra's fists clenched into tight balls, "Excuse me? Who do you think you are, talking to me like that?" she snapped and Barry straightened.

"Answer the question."

"I didn't know actresses were that far removed from a maid's station. So, no. I won't answer the question. My business is my own." Alexandra took a step back but Elizabeth followed her.

"I've seen these earrings in his hands. How did they end up in you possession?" she asked with shock and Alexandra realized what the problem was. She had the impression that the earrings were intended for her. That he would finally get her the things she deserved. Alexandra froze and looked away.

"You stole them."

Alexandra's head shot up at the accusation, "I did not! They were a gift."

"Gift? Since when do maids get such gifts?"

"Since when do actresses wear golden pins?" Alexandra seethed at the woman's cheek. It was annoying and well, pathetic to ask such questions. Had she no self respect?

Barry reared back as if she'd been slapped and her cheeks flushed even more.

"Well, looks like we're the same. Getting paid for our services. Good evening." She shot back hotly before she passed right past Alexandra and left the house.

The sound of the door closing made Alexandra jump and as soon as she was alone she slid down to the floor and placed her face in her hands. A lone tear slipped down her cheek.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A hand on the back of her head scared her out of her wits and she looked up. The frowning face of the Earl greeted her and her eyes widened before she reached up to brush the tears from her cheeks. She stood and turned to give a small bow.

"My Lord. Shall I take your cloak?" she mumbled as she reached for the long cloak he had in his arms.

He let her take it and when she folded it and placed it on the settee his fingers grasped her chin and tilted her face upwards. His slightly narrowed eyes were so familiar and so searching that she wanted to crawl away from him.

"What's wrong?" he asked after he was done studying her face and she shook her head.

"Nothing. I have tea and biscuits-…"

"I asked you a question, Alexandra." He cut her of sharply, "Why are you crying?" he eyed her form as if trying to detect the source of her distress.

She was shocked that he was asking, "I wasn't crying." She defended herself, "I've been looking at the fire for too-…"

"Then why's your nose swollen? Did you bite it by accident?" he scowled and the sentence made her giggle. His eyebrows shot up at that and she shook her head.

"My ribs hurt a bit. That's all." She replied at last and he hummed.

"Hmm."

"How was your trip?" she asked, averting her eyes as she did so.

"Dull." He replied curtly, "Come with me." He said and she suddenly noticed the wicked gleam in his eyes.

Oh God. He was already walking towards the stairs.

"Um…aren't you hungry?" she asked but he did not turn. He only beckoned her to him with two fingers.

Alexandra gulped but the instinctive urge to oblige caused her to do as he bade. She followed him closely and when they arrived at his chamber she faltered and lingered by the door.

He removed his overcoat and vest and sat down to pull off his boots and she still did not move. Her knees were suddenly weak and her head was spinning.

"Come here." He murmured, "And close the door." He added before he stood and opened his closet door. He pulled out his robe and Alexandra shut the door quietly.

When she turned to face him again he was in his nightclothes. He leaned against the still open closet and regarded her with burning eyes. She flushed and averted her gaze.

He chuckled and then spoke again, "I want you to wear…" his had disappeared among his clothes, "…this." He pulled out a long creamy nightgown and reached out towards her.

Alexandra eyed the silk material and as she got closer she realized that the sleeves and neckline were trimmed with lace. It was beautiful and did not belong to Lady Rochester. That much was certain because it looked brand new.

"Why?" she asked as she looked up at him.

"You shall see." he cocked his head to the side as he waited for her to take the nightgown from his hand.

"I am not comfortable with these…offerings." She whispered as she took the gown and looked at him from beneath her eyelashes.

"Then it's a good thing that I am not offering it to you. I am ordering you to wear it. Now, do so." He told her with slightly narrowed eyes and she swallowed hard.

He shut the closet and then walked over to a lush armchair. He picked up a large sketchbook from his desk and some vine charcoal before he took a seat and propped his knees up on a low stool in front of him.

Alexandra frowned and fidgeted and when he looked at her she blushed.

"Well? Put it on." He said quietly and when she hesitated he smirked, "Shall I help you?"

"No!" she clutched the nightgown to her chest and he rolled his eyes before he raised the sketchbook and covered his face.

"Come on then."

Alexandra was surprised that he did not tease her more about her reluctance to undress and she started pulling off her dress.

She threw her corset to the ground and then quickly slipped the nightdress over her head. When she smoothed it down she noticed that he was peeking from the side of the sketchbook while grinning.

She cleared her throat and decided to ignore his smug expression, "Now what?"

"Get on the bed." He ordered as he gestured to his bed.

Her eyes widened, "Do it and I'll reward you later." He murmured and she blinked.

She sat on the bed and he nodded, "Good. Now lie down and tilt your head to the left, look away from me. Good. You hands by the pillow and raise you knees a bit. There. Now," he poised the charcoal over the paper, "sit still."

Alexandra was perplexed. Was he…drawing her? Whatever for? She knew he had talent, one of his many, but she had never seen him drawing a person before.

"May I speak?" she murmured after some time.

"No." his voice was sharp and resolute and she bit her tongue hard enough to bleed. Why did he have to treat her like a five year old?

"Why?" she asked with cheek and she heard his groan.

"Shut up, Alexandra." He murmured without any real bite in it and she sighed but held her tongue.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

It was hours later that he put the sketch aside and allowed her to stretch. Her neck was sore from looking towards one side for so many hours and as she looked outside the window she knew it was almost dawn. Wasn't he tired? She could barely keep her eyes open. She heard him standing up and she turned to look at him. He wiped his hands on a cloth and then discarded it behind him as he approached her. His knees touched the bed a moment later and then he was crawling over to her. Her thighs parted slightly to accommodate him as he moved to hover over her and as he looked down at her his hair fell over her like a shadow ready to consume her. He lied on top of her, propped up on his elbow and then his fingers, warm and stained with charcoal, brushed down her cheek, her nose and then her lips. She parted them as she breathed and his thumb rubbed across her bottom lip before he slipped his hand lower, towards the neckline of the nightgown. His lips descended on hers just as his hand slipped under the material and cupped her breast and his free hand curled around her hair that was sprawled over his pillow. His mouth was hot and damp and insistent and she let her lips part under his assault. His tongue slipped into her mouth and his hand flexed upon her breast, causing her to cry out softly. He smirked as her own tongue slipped out of her mouth to rub against his top lip and then his fingers were everywhere; brushing her chest, her sides, curling themselves around her throat, burying themselves between her thighs.

Her back arched and she broke the kiss to throw her head back against the pillow. His expression was smug and his eyes blazing with hunger as he watched her and when she bit her lip he snarled and his lips found the skin of her neck, biting and sucking until she had to thread her fingers through his locks to anchor herself.

And then he was pulling his fingers away and his hands were grasping her thighs, tilting her hips up. She didn't even realize when he unfastened his breeches. What she did feel though was the violent surge of his hips against her and she cried out as he clasped both of her wrists in his hand, holding them tightly above her head. Her eyes snapped open when his second thrust arrived and she locked her green gaze to his as he set up a hard punishing rhythm against her. His angry expression startled her but before she had the time to ask what she had done wrong he spoke.

"Don't ever lie to me again." He hissed as he enunciated every word with a grueling thrust, moving her up the bed with every powerful snap of his hips.

"M-my Lord?" she whimpered and she was ashamed when she realized that despite the sting of his rough pace butterflies had started swimming deep inside her, clouding her senses.

"Since when groveling actresses make you cry?" he asked her with a groan and she went numb.

He knew…Oh God, was there anything he didn't know?

"I…" she sputtered but he sneered at her and then he was pulling back, pushing himself up on his knees and taking her with him. His hands were bruising her hips as he held her against him and when he made her move her eyes widened. Her hands clutched at the robe he still had on and her fingers curled around the material as he wrapped his arms around her back and folded one of them against the back of her head, pillowing it in his palm as he ground his hips hard against her, never weakening the force of his thrusts.

"I never knew you were pathetic. Cries are reserved for the weak and you're not one, are you?" he murmured as his teeth found her shoulder and bit down hard on to it, causing her to gasp.

"Don't ever do that again." He hissed in her ear, his breathing fogging the glimmering emerald stone hanging from her lobe and causing her to shudder.

Her eyes widened and her legs flexed against his hips as he released his hold on her and threw her on the mattress again. His lips were on hers a moment later and his hips were moving at a faster pace now, hungrily pushing her against the soaked from their sweat covers until he groaned and his mouth parted. The sharp inhale of breath was his only response to the release that made him jerk and press hard against her and when she thought that she'd melt into a puddle of hot wax he was rapidly moving away from her and sliding down her body, his lips and teeth leaving bite marks and scorching wet kisses in their way.

His hands were around her thighs a moment later and then his sinful mouth was a breath away from that part of her that till recently was foreign to her. Her hands curled into fists and she did not dare look at him.

"And now…" he murmured, slightly breathless, as he reached up and took hold of her hand. He kissed her clammy palm and then forced her fingers to thread through his curly locks. Her eyes snapped open at the blunt release of control but then he was moving closer to her and she had to close her eyes again.

"Your award, my little muse."

As his mouth fell upon her she whimpered and when she fell right off the cliff of bliss his hands were holding her own and his lips were pressing a hot trail of open mouthed kisses down her inner thigh. Her limbs were trembling and her voice was lost as he slithered his way up the bed until he was on his side, propped up on his hand and looking down at her with flushed cheeks and scandalously swollen lips. His free hand was busy fixing the nightgown down her thighs and then his mouth pressed a kiss on the tip of her nose.

She could not hold her eyelids open after that. She fell into blissful oblivion.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_A few days later…_

Something was awfully wrong with her. Her hands were shaking and her skin felt hot to the touch as she made her way to the parlor with quick footsteps. That man could make her skin prickle with the merest of glances. She was an idiot for falling into this trap. Even now that she was merely taking a letter to him she couldn't help but recall all the things he did to her in his bed. Good God, if her mother knew. Or his wife…or the Countess. She had prided herself for not finding him charming or attractive in the past but the man was like a disease. He was contagious like the worst plague and now she knew why.

Shaking her head she burst through the door and bowed, "My Lord, there is a letter from the King." She murmured as she approached and outstretched her hand towards him.

He looked at her from his place near the window and without releasing his hold on the glass of wine he took it from her. His fingers brushed hers and his mouth twitched when she flushed crimson. Good Lord, he enjoyed watching her squirm.

"The King, you say? Odd." He murmured and finally he took his eyes away from her and opened the letter. His wicked eyes ran over the words until he burst into a loud fit of deep laughter that made her shudder because she hadn't heard him laugh before.

"Oh, what a little bit of licking up the King's boot can do." He murmured and Alcock appeared out of nowhere.

"What is it, my Lord?" he asked and the Earl's eyes locked with hers before he replied.

"The King's just made me Ranger of High Lodge." His eyes left hers and moved to Alcock, "At Woodstock." He added mischievously and then folded the letter. He discarded it on top of a chair and then smirked.

"What does that mean?" Alcock asked and Alexandra turned to him.

"Our Lord has been made Keeper of the Lodge. That means he can live there, close to Blenheim Palace." She whispered and she looked down at her feet. It was an extreme honor to have such a position.

"Make preparations to move there as soon as possible. After a small visit to the King of course." Lord Rochester said as he took a sip from his wine, "Prepare the carriage." He pointed a hand at Alcock who grinned and nodded.

"Aye, me Lord."

With that he walked away, leaving them alone.

"Alexandra, drink." He said as he looked at her. She picked up the tray with the wine pitcher and approached him.

She kept her eyes lowered as the Earl poured himself another drink, his lips stretched back into one of his charming but at the same time debauched and arrogant smiles. He placed the wine pitcher on the tray she held and took a long sip before he let his eyes fall on her.

"Don't just stand there." He told her sharply and she looked up to find his eyes on her.

"Sir?"

"Pack your things. You will accompany me to Woodstock." He told her brusquely.

"Me?" she whispered in shock. Wouldn't he rather take his family there?

He pushed away from the desk and walked towards her, his eyes scorching, "My dear, don't you know that you are the one to accompany everywhere? Even to hell, my little saint." He told her as he grasped the back of her head, his fingers threading into her dark hair before he pulled her to him, pressing a harsh kiss to her forehead, "Say goodbye to paradise, Alexandra." He breathed before he released her as abruptly as he had pulled her to him.

She stumbled back and he chuckled heartily as he finished his drink in one go and then fixed his eyes outside the window.

Things were changing. But was it for the best? She wasn't so sure.

_**You flick your mane and click your fingers again  
And from your back, you call my name  
And like a fool, I run right back to you  
And dance along to your latest tune**_

_**And when the land slides  
And when the planets die  
****That's when I come back, when I come back to you**_

_**And when the sun cools**_  
_**And when the stars fall**_  
_**That's when I come back, when I come back to you**_

_**You roll those eyes and trap my hand in your thighs**_  
_**It's slavery but in disguise**_  
_**And like a fool, I come right back to you**_  
_**There's nothing else that I can do…**_

_**~Back To You, Brett Anderson**_

**End of chapter 14**

**Author's note: Ahem, yes. Thank you for reading! Rochester was indeed Ranger of High Lodge at Blenheim Palace, Woodstock so; I am not making anything up. I shall post a picture of the Woodstock manor on FB if you want to check it out. Alexandra's earrings are posted there as well.**

**And why do you think he drew her picture? Guesses are welcome. ;o)**

**Please review before you go. It'd mean a lot! Pretty please?**

**Oh and _TinkerbellxO_ has posted a story for The Libertine. It's called _Of Profit & Pleasure_. Go and check it out! We need more fics about the Earl. ;o)**

**Until next time.**

**Xxx Lina ;o)**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: And yes! I am back earlier! What can I say? This chapter begged to be written.**

**Okay, a huge thank you to: a fan, MissMisc3, whatcatydidnext, xBelekinax, 88dragon06, ForeverACharmedOne, nuckythompson, Makrciana, xoangelwingxo, PGAEmma, Gary the Snail x3, XantheXV, dionne dance, Leyshla Gisel, samba sockz, TinkerbellxO and armutt.**

**Thank you all for your support!**

**This chapter is dedicated to **_**TinkerbellxO**_** because she's brave enough to venture into the dark mind of our dear Earl with her story. Thank you for being the inspiration for this chapter! And check her story out! ;p**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

'_**His eyes express only hatred and scorn. **_

_**His mouth utters nothing but insult and reproach.**_

_**His arms embrace me only to tear me to shreds.**_

_**Who can save me from his barbarous fury?'**_

_**~Choderlos De Laclos, Dangerous Liaisons**_

_High Lodge, Woodstock_

"Careful with the clothes!" Alexandra exclaimed, "It will take me hours to iron them if you throw them around like that. Good God." She muttered and Alcock paused with two luxurious overcoats in his hands.

"The country is not agreeing with you." He remarked before he carried on with his task. He dumped the coats on the large bed and turned to her with his hands on his hips, "Is it the cold? Or the humidity? Is that why your hair is like a bird's nest?" he pointed at her semi wet hair and Alexandra scowled.

"No. It's because this rain is awful. And because you're not helping with the chores." She pointed out as she opened the large closet door and placed two pair of boots inside.

"Ah, that. Shouldn't there be more servants? I mean, this is a prestigious position that should come along with other services." Alcock scratched his jaw lazily.

Alexandra looked at him with a cocked eyebrow, "And who's going to pay them? Besides, there _are_ guards."

He smirked, "The King…or the Duchess. Who cares?" he shrugged and she glared at him.

"You know, if you stayed here just to pester me, why didn't you go to London with him?" she asked tightly.

"Because he ordered me to stay behind." He ground out, "Bugger."

"Then be useful and go ventilate the rooms. It's getting dark and we should warm the place soon." She shuddered and pulled out the last clothes from the Earl's chest. For a man with minimal resources he sure had a lot of clothes, expensive clothes, which he paid with credit of course. She sighed as Alcock made his way out of the large chamber, shuffling his feet like the lazy cad he was. She shook her head, half amused, half angry and then started rearranging the clothes.

First the shirts, then the breeches and waistcoats and finally the cravats. She shook them out because who knew what kind of insects had crawled into the chests while they had been packing and then proceeded to tidy up the closet. As she hung the lacy and silk cravats she ignored the one with the flowery lacy design on it, the very one he had used to tie her wrists with. In fact, she pulled it away form the rest and then walked over to the fireplace and threw it in the flames. He wouldn't miss it anyway and if he did she didn't care.

Her inner voice asked her why she needed to commit that act of insolence but she chose to ignore the questions. The voice decided not to ask again.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Footsteps made her look up from her food. When she saw him drenched in rain she immediately stood.

"My Lord." She murmured as she eyed his wet hair and clothes, "Shall I draw you a bath?" she asked as she raised her eyes to his.

He was gazing at her intently until he nodded, "Yes. Did you set up my study?" he cocked an eyebrow and she quickly nodded, "Good. All my books and papers there?"

"Of course."

"Does the house have everything we need? Is the cellar stocked?" he asked as his eyes perused the new and much larger kitchen.

"Everything arrived at noon. Despite the weather."

"Excellent. Draw me my bath, carry on eating and then come to my chamber. I have something to show you." He told her quietly before he turned and walked away, "And send Alcock for more wood. It's freezing in here." He added before he disappeared.

Alexandra heard him but all she paid attention to was the invitation to his room.

_Oh God._

She abandoned her food and picked up her half finished plate. She opened the back door and gave it to the large dog standing outside of it, guarding the manor. She quickly shut the door and then headed for the washroom to take care of his bath.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Hands on her shoulders woke her up with a start and she jumped.

"Easy. Lie back down." His voice was smooth and husky and his breath hot against her neck. She relaxed slightly and sat back against the headboard, turning to face him.

"I am sorry. I fell asleep."

"I saw that." He smirked as he pulled his hands away and walked over to the door. He turned the lock and then picked up something from his desk. He walked towards her, clad only in his robe and a pair of breeches and sat down next to her. He rolled onto his stomach and dropped a play on top of her lap.

Alexandra frowned and looked down at it. She hesitated before she turned it over and she froze. On the cover was the drawing he had made of her. Her eyes widened and when she looked at him his eyes were dark and blazing with fire.

"What is this?" she whispered as she eyed the cover again with shock.

"It's my gift to the King." He rolled away from her and eyed the canopy, a devious smirk playing on his lips.

Alexandra eyed the pages quickly and then swallowed hard, "Has he seen it?" she asked and he looked at her. From the corner of her eyes she could see the water drops on his chest and belly through the opening of his robe.

"Some of it." He murmured cryptically as his hand reached out and brushed up and down her knee, his fingers warm as they touched her.

"And…my drawing?" she asked and he laughed.

"Well, that was certainly the reason why he let me have all this." He gestured around the grand room and then turned to look at her, "Your beauty can do miracles." He murmured as he locked eyes with her.

"But he hasn't read all of it." She narrowed her eyes and he smirked again.

"No. Not all of it. I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise, would I?" he asked as he drummed his fingers against his stomach and then narrowed his eyes at her.

"No thank you? No congratulations for having my work printed? There are only two copies so far, mind you. This and the one in my private study." He told her as his hand abandoned her knee and slid under her skirt to brush up and down her inner thigh.

"Congratulations." She murmured and her cheeks flushed when his fingers slid ridiculously high up her thigh. She wanted to slap it away because the gesture, which she had thought to be rather intimate and emotional from him, was going to be on public display. Everyone would look at it, stare at it and if he let it slip, everyone would know that it was her depicted in the drawing. Suddenly she felt cheap. And the remark about her beauty? Was that all he cared about?

_Yes, when it comes to you. Not when it has to do with the actress. _She was after all his little tutoring recreation. All London was speaking about him at the moment and even those who were doubtful about his tutoring were now in awe. And of course he relished in the fame and he was doing anything he could to profit from it.

She suddenly felt sick.

"How should we celebrate?" he mused and his voice rang in her ears as he picked up the play and threw it away. Her heart dropped to her stomach. Did he have to praise her and then discard something that a moment ago had meant so much to her?

"And how should I reward you for helping me get this position and the commission?" his hand closed around her wrist and he dragged her closer to him, his eyes a sinful brown that made her knees weak but turned her heart cold. How was that even possible? His words sounded crude and cheap all of a sudden too.

"I know what I want as a thank you for using you as my muse." He pulled her onto his lap and she gasped, her hands flying to grasp the pillow by his head, "But what should _your_ reward be?" he murmured as his hands grasped her thighs and he used his hold as leverage to pull her up to his hips and right above his groin.

He was doing her a favor for using her as his inspiration? She gritted her teeth. Was she to be grateful for grasping his attention? Was their…whatever they had- because she could not call it affair- all because he found her amusing in some perverse way? Was it because she was bound to obey and he was too declined to pay for someone to come and go at his beck and call?

Her self destructive thoughts were broken when his hand closed around the neckline of her dress and he pulled her down for a rough kiss, his teeth biting onto her lip before he released her and glared up at her.

"What's wrong with you? You're as stiff as a board." He remarked as he eyed her with impatience.

Alexandra looked away, "I am tired, my Lord."

"And what has _that_ got anything to do with me?" he sneered at her, obviously displeased by her lack of response. He wasn't used to it, she was sure. When she remained silent he snorted mockingly and threaded his fingers through her hair, "If you're just going to sit there you might as well use that smart mouth of yours to do the deed." His smirk was mocking, as if daring her to obey his command. He was testing her but the thought of even being with him in such a way caused her stomach to turn at the moment. All she wanted was to curl up in her bed and sleep until the end of time.

He was using more force on her hair by then and while she had been lost in her thoughts his eyes had taken on a darker hue and they were fixated on her mouth. She wanted to vomit at the lust swimming in his dark orbs.

She pulled her hair free by grabbing onto his hand and his eyes widened as if not believing her actions. And just because she wasn't in a mood to quarrel with him and analyze her odd and very alarming thoughts and emotions, she took his hand and without looking away from his eyes she kissed his palm. His breath hitched for a moment and she wondered if he ever allowed such gestures from his lovers or even his wife. Probably not, judging by the look of incredulity upon his face. And she should not think about his wife who was so kind and very much pregnant. She should be ashamed of herself but she really had no choice, did she? Yes, she could deny any advances from him, she could talk back but at the same time no one would find her another placement. The country was still reeling from all the problems caused by the disease and the King's weak ruling. Who would care for a maid? She wasn't sure the Duchess would take her back to Adderbury after their last meeting. And the thought of finding a suitor and let alone a husband unsettled her.

Because no matter how rude, deceiving and cruel a cad he was he had dug his way through to her heart so fast that her brain had not even registered the change in her.

She pressed her lips to his hand one more time and his fingers brushed over her lips before she pulled it away.

His eyes lost the warmth her touch had caused and he sneered, "What an inanimate way to appease me." His hand pushed her away with a start and she stumbled back, her hands finding the edge of the bed.

"You're inappropriate for my bed anyway. Go and bathe." He told her with a scowl before he pulled the covers over him and turned his back on her.

Alexandra stared at him and he must have felt it, "I don't hear you leaving." He remarked cruelly and she pursed her lips tightly before she stood from the bed as if burned. She eyed him with tear rimmed eyes and then she turned and fled his chamber, slamming the door shut behind her. Her copy of the play was left behind in her rush to flee.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_Days later. Dukes Theatre, London_

Alexandra stumbled as a couple of girls from the chorus ran by her, talking and laughing loudly to each other. She groaned and when she arrived next to the Earl she saw that he was conversing with a woman dressed in a long crimson dress. He was rolling his eyes and moving his hands about impatiently while she gazed at him with wide doe eyes. Her hair was a startling blonde and her eyes a vibrant honey color that glimmered in the candlelight and from what it seemed she didn't care that he was obviously chiding her for something she had done wrong.

Alexandra faltered when she realized that he _had_ noticed her standing there with the freshly ironed clothes but when he didn't give any attention to her and continued scolding the young woman she bit her tongue hard and looked away, trying to find the direction of the dressing rooms. She lifted up on her tiptoes and then she spotted Jane.

She brushed past the Earl who turned to eye her with surprise but he did not follow her.

"Jane!" she exclaimed as she approached and the blonde woman stopped talking to…Mr. Downs and turned to smile at her.

"Alex."

"Where am I to put these?" she asked a bit breathless and Jane took a couple of the costumes in her hands before she started walking.

"Come on." She winked and Alexandra inclined her head at Mr. Downs who smiled at her before she followed Jane.

"Why are we doing this since the premiere is nowhere near yet? Jane, there are actors for the current production here!" she hissed when she noticed Elizabeth Barry and a Mr. Harris she had just recently met.

"Calm down. We're just storing these in the back. They do not mind the interruption since they will be starring in Lord Rochester's play as well." Jane winked and Alexandra calmed down. She had no wish to meet with Barry again though.

"So, you're here a lot…Are you in the play too?" Alexandra asked politely and Jane turned to look at her with incredulity before she burst into laughter, startling the other woman.

"Good Lord, you're good. My role does not require much acting." Was the only thing she replied before she took Alexandra's hand and led her out of the dressing rooms.

Leaving Barry's Desdemona behind, she followed Jane and since she was done with her tasks she sat at the back with the blonde woman, talking quietly with her.

Men came and asked for her company but she shooed them away with a brusque wave of her hand, more interested in the company of Alexandra.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"My Lord?" Alexandra leaned down to grasp the Earl's attention as he made himself comfortable in his chair.

"What?"

"May I leave?" she asked, mindful of the people who were surrounding the Earl in his box. He paused in making himself comfortable and turned to eye her.

"No. You may stay by the corner and watch. I have paid for your entrance. Let it not be money wasted by your ignorance." He remarked resolutely and Alexandra clenched her fists into tight balls.

"But, my Lord-…" she tried again but he was having none of it.

"There's only one carriage and I am not sending it away right now with you all the way to Woodstock." He turned to glare at her, "You'll just have to wait. A little Shakespeare never hurt anyone let alone a woman of your…_class_. Now, step back. You're intruding on my view." He waved her away in a loud voice and Alexandra stepped back with flushed cheeks.

He never commented on her place in society. He never demeaned her so much, so why was he doing it now?

_Because you disobeyed him. Because you didn't do as he wanted. Face the consequences._

Shaking with humiliation at being publicly scolded like a bold maid girl she stepped away from the seats and pressed her back against the wall near the curtains.

For a moment she caught Billy Down's gentle blue gaze and she felt a little bit better when he smiled at her.

She fidgeted all the way through the acts but he did not bother to look back at her once. His eyes were trained on the stage and his body was lax against his seat. By the time Othello was getting ready to murder his wife, she finally had enough of Ms. Barry's interpretation of Desdemona.

As surreptitiously as ever, she slipped towards the exit, pushing the lavish red curtains away. No one noticed her as she made her retreat. As soon as she stepped onto the corridor, she took a deep breath and leaned momentarily against the corridor which was surprisingly empty. All the patrons seemed to adore the acting and none of them had sneaked out to enjoy the other kind of recreations the girls that usually loomed around the grounds had to offer.

Taking a few moments to compose herself, she wiped at a stray tear that had escaped and when a girl by the far side of the corridor noticed her she slowly turned and made her retreat. She decided to wait by the entrance.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Ahem." Alexandra turned abruptly at the voice and she offered a small smile.

"Mr. Downs." She murmured and he smiled albeit a bit hesitantly.

"You're waiting for Lord Rochester?" he asked her quietly as people passed by them on their way out.

"Indeed." She inclined her head, "Is he not with you?" she asked with a small frown.

Her legs were killing her. And it was late.

"Um, he excused himself a while ago. May I accompany you whilst you wait?" he gestured towards the left side of the doors. Mutely she nodded and they headed over, leaning against the wall.

"Shall I accompany you to the inn?" he asked after they had waited quite a few long minutes, "You must be famished." He said and Alexandra was hungry but she did not dare leave the grounds. He'd be so furious; especially if she was in the company of his young friend.

_Why should you care? He just publicly humiliated you!_ Once more she ignored the voice and shook her head.

"No, thank you." She murmured as she pulled her shawl more tightly around her shoulders.

Mr. Downs smiled and she knew that he didn't have to sit and wait with her. She ought to be more pleasant.

"How did you like the play?" she asked and her cheeks flushed when he grinned.

"Good. The acting is always good with Ms. Barry but…" he trailed off and Alexandra frowned.

"Yes?"

Did she detect a little bit of dislike in his gaze? Odd.

"Well, the eye gets bored easily when you know the ah…actors personally." He murmured and then added quickly, "Not that she's ever been cross with me-…"

"No need to explain yourself, sir. I understand." She cut him off with a shake of her head, "I understand perfectly."

He nodded in relief and then looked at his feet.

"Ah, she's here. How interesting. Just the person I wanted to meet." A voice spoke up and when Alexandra looked up dread fell upon her chest like a gravestone.

"Mr. Etherege." Mr. Downs nodded at the shorter man while Alexandra straightened.

"Billy." He turned his attention to Alexandra, "Waiting for your master? How surprising." He leaned closer and pushed Downs out of his way in order to get to her, "If you tell me what is this bloody play he's on about, I will tell you where to find him." He whispered and Alexandra pulled back but she was trapped against the wall.

"Play?"

"Yes. I wonder what it is since he managed to become Ranger at Woodstock. Surely you know. He carries you around like a pet." He eyed her with obvious curiosity,

"I know nothing of it, my Lord. How could I? I am merely a servant as you probably heard him declare." She spat and he smirked.

"Lord Rochester is probably mad because you've most probably provoked him. But that's beside the point." He murmured as he reached out and touched her earrings, "Pretty little things…for a servant." He added and Alexandra swallowed thickly.

She didn't know what it was worse. This man's words or the Earl's?

She remained silent and Etherege groaned, "No matter. I shall find out sooner or later." He announced as he stepped back.

Downs eyed him with impatience in the background.

"You may find your master backstage. In his usual lurking place. Must have forgotten himself." He told her with a small smirk and as she stepped forward to walk away he grasped her arm in a vice like grip.

"If you acquired that play for me, I'd award you luxuriously. Just bear that in mind while you find him." He had the audacity to wink and she pulled her arm out of his hold.

She walked away towards the stairs that led backstage and as she walked her head span. How had she become involved in all this? In his life? She wished no part in it. She wanted to focus on her chores and not be bothered with his clandestine life.

As she headed for the back rooms she faltered in her footsteps. Did she really want to intrude? After all, the space was empty. What if he was not back there? The actors and actresses were gone and the lights were dimmed.

By the time she had made up her mind to stop, her feet had already carried her to the dressing rooms. A hand on her wrist caused her to gasp and as she turned her eye caught something by the far corner of the room. Blonde hair invaded her vision and a familiar brown sleeved coat with gold trimming passed in front of her eyes. The hand buried in the woman's hair was a bejeweled inked stained one and she faltered.

"Alexandra!" a familiar female voice hissed but she paid no heed to the warning. She had to see this. It was her punishment for being a monumental fool. As she pulled her hand free she stepped further inside but not enough to be seen, grateful of the shadows.

"Alex!" Jane was insistent but Alexandra did not hear her. All she could see was the honey eyed woman on her knees with her hands all over him. From her place she could see his fingers tightening in the woman's curly locks and her stomach churned in revulsion.

She placed a hand over her mouth to halt any noises and as she watched the scene tears welled in her eyes. She blinked them away but then he spoke and she wanted to crawl out of her own skin because he had tainted her with those hands.

"This, my Lord?" the woman whispered in her sweet angelic voice and Alexandra's eyes went to his fingers which passed over the blonde's lips with deliberate slowness.

"And go slow." He smirked down at her and the familiarity of that half twitch of the mouth shook her to her very core.

She inhaled sharply and her breath got caught in her throat, causing a tiny noise to escape her lips and Jane's hand was on her arm again.

This time she didn't protest Jane's intervention and as she pulled back with her heart ready to leap from her chest she saw him with his head tilted back against the wall, his lips parted and his eyes half closed. But as she retreated back into the shadows light flickered and caused her earrings to shimmer in the semi darkness and just before she stepped completely into the shadows his gaze flickered to her direction and his eyes widened a bit and his lips fell open wider but before he could act or maybe just send her a mocking grin she broke free from Jane's hold and fled the dressing rooms.

Her feet carried her to the entrance and she faltered for a moment, trying to regulate her breathing and the wild but uneven beating of her heart. God, she thought it would surely stop. But then her eyes found those of Mr. Downs and her feet carried her to him, leaving Jane to trail behind her.

"Could you arrange for a carriage to take me back to Woodstock?" the words left her mouth in a rush but she heard no footsteps behind her. He wasn't following her. He hadn't seen her or he had and was just too busy to care. Alcock was nowhere to be seen either.

"Um…Certainly." He replied immediately and then gestured towards the exit. Alexandra walked out first and he followed with a small frown on his face.

As she stepped into the carriage he had called for her she wondered if she was putting him into trouble. But as he looked at her through the window and nodded at her she realized that he did not care.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Alexandra nodded at the guard at the gate and as she entered through the back door of the manor she paused for a moment to pet the dog's head. The male English foxhound nuzzled her palm but then she felt even worse because even a dog showed compassion for a person's feelings. She pulled her hand away from the dog and then stormed into the house. She paused at the kitchen and then her hands went to her ear. She unhooked first the right earring and then the left and then proceeded to walk towards the corridor that linked the servants' quarters with the main staircase. She climbed up the stairs and headed straight for the Earl's private study. She burst through the door and as she stepped inside his scent filled her nostrils. Her skin prickled and her legs caused her to stagger for a moment but she kept on walking towards the desk.

Her hands brushed over the scattered papers upon his desk and she found the cover with her drawing on it. She wanted to gag. She wanted to burn her skin for even letting him touch her in the same way he touched his whores. She wanted to scream, she wanted to curl in a ball and cry but most of it all she wanted to hurt him. She wanted to slap him and kick him and spit at his face because he deserved nothing. Elizabeth Barry was right. His wife was right for ignoring him and protecting her children. Jane was right because she was strong enough not to let his crass ways bother her. But Alexandra was neither Jane nor Barry. She was not emotionally detached, she was not cold and she was not an opportunist.

She wasn't foolish enough to think that he was sleeping with her and only her; of course not. He had Jane, Elizabeth and now that woman who was eager and willing to fall onto her knees and do what she herself had denied him. The thought sickened her because he _knew_ how she felt. He could at least send her away, spare her from further embarrassment.

Shaking her head, she pushed the play away and then reached into his first drawer. Her hand grasped another play and she knew immediately that it was the one he had written alongside the one he had presented the King with. The _raunchy_ one. She pulled it out and stared at the blank white page that served as a cover. She placed it on top of his essays and poems and then slapped the earrings on top of it. She stepped back and wiped a rebellious tear from her cheek before she turned and walked out, slamming the door shut behind her.

That night she returned into her room late and she locked the door behind her, hiding the spare key under her pillow for good measure. As she sat in the dark, her ears were tingling and she reached up to finger her naked earlobes. Realizing her deed, she pulled her fingers away and trapped both of her hands between her knees before she let the tears finally fall. No one was around to see them anyway.

_**Won't you come see me in the morning?  
Won't you come see me late at night?  
For it ain't right, no it just ain't right  
You're meant to turn away from the light**_

**_Night, all my lights are on_**  
**_I need a little one on one_**  
**_This useless, helpless feeling_**

**_A young man should be blessed with love_**  
**_There's just flesh and fire below_**  
**_This drunken, senseless reeling_**  
**_Hands on my face_**  
**_Some silk and lace_**  
**_Sweet perfume kisses_**  
**_For me_**

**_Wherever you burn_**  
**_I have returned_**  
**_You lucky lady_**  
**_Honey bee_**

**_I have to leave you in the morning_**  
**_You always wanted to be free…_**

**_Stay with me  
Sweet lucky lady  
Don't ever leave me  
Honey bee_**

**_Awake in cold places_**  
**_Cool ice and icy faces_**  
**_Some dead and some living_**  
**_Most of them doing something in between_**

**_My lady in waiting_**  
**_Must have turned to hating me_**  
**_Some bitter awakening this has been_**  
**_The next time she calls I'm gonna let her in_**  
**_The next time she calls I'm gonna let her in_**

**_And if she leaves me in the morning_**  
**_At least we both have been relieved_**

**_Now stay with me_**  
**_Stay with me_**  
**_Sweet lucky lady_**  
**_Don't you ever leave me_**  
**_Honey bee_**

**_~Honey Bee, Madrugada_**

**End of chapter 15**

**Author's note: Thank you so much for reading my longish chapter. I hope I did not bore you. Lol**

**By the way, the lyrics above are from a wonderful song you should all listen to. It's this story's main theme. The singer has the smoothest voice ever! Like honey. I am in love! :p**

**Please tell me your thoughts! I am anxious to listen to them. Don't come shouting to me for him being unfaithful and all that. Remember, this is Rochester we're talking about so don't expect sensitivities from him. But…Was she right to leave? Was she not? Did he see her or did he not? And what will he do now?**

**So, review pretty please!**

**Until next time, my darlings!**

**Xxx Lina ;o)**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Welcome back! I am early, you say? Well, I love writing this.**

** I want to thank: whatcatydidnect, Guest, MissMisc3, nuckythompson, ForeverACharmedOne, XantheXV, Jay D. Moore, TinkerbellxO, dionne dance, ElleWillBite, Makrciana, Gary the Snail x3, xoangelwingxo, Leyshla Gisel, armutt and LadyAmazon.**

**You all rock!**

**Also, for the _guest _reviewer who claimed that Alexandra is weak; all I have to say is that if she can bear the Earl of Rochester, she is not weak. Why is she weak? Because she got hurt? Because she loves a man who is not perfect? That's called emotion. Nobody is perfect. Also, this is not an OC/Downs fic so don't give so much attention to Billy Down's character, please. Besides this, I thank you for reading and leaving a double review. :o)**

**Now on with the show. Oh and we have a little bit of swearing here…Blame it on the Earl's dirty mouth. :p**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 16**

'_**I am not an angel', I asserted; 'and I will not be one till I die: **_

_**I will be myself, Mr. Rochester, you must neither expect nor exact anything celestial of me-for you will not get it, any more than I should get it of you: which I do not at all anticipate.'**_

_**~Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte **_

Her eyelids felt heavy as her eyes flickered open. A noise from the door made her sit up. She thought she heard someone turning the knob but then everything went quiet again. Swallowing hard she sat up further and tried to calm her breathing, her hand pressing over her chest to feel her heart. It was beating wildly against her palm.

It was still dark and she must have fallen asleep for half an hour or so. She was too alert to sleep. Her eyes were still stinging from sleep depravation and her hands were cold to the touch. She brought her knees up to her chest and laid her chin against them, huddling into the covers.

She didn't know if she should be hurt or relieved from being left alone. Perhaps he did not see her…or just did not care. Why did that hurt her more than it should? She shook her head. Silly question. It was to be expected. She was a foolish romantic. Hadn't he called her that once?

She turned to look out of her window but then there were footsteps approaching and her gaze turned sharply towards the locked door. She watched with wide eyes as the lock turned and then it swung open. It rattled against the wall with force and she jumped, her heart thundering against her ribcage as she spotted him at the threshold. His hair was slightly wet as if he had just walked in the rain, his coat was gone and his waistcoat and shirt were unbuttoned.

He eyed her room with a sneer and then stepped inside, "You're awake. Good." He said quietly, too quietly.

Alexandra gaped at him. How had he got in? She had taken the spare key…

"You're bewildered." He remarked and then smirked maliciously, "Looking for this?" he raised his hand and waved the key at her, "You did not think that I wouldn't have spare keys to my own house, did you?' he drawled and she could hear the venom in his voice.

"I was stupid enough to think that you wouldn't, my Lord." She replied hoarsely as she quickly stood from the bed.

He cocked an eyebrow, "Where is it hidden?" he asked as he looked around, "The key."

"My Lord-…"

"Leave the niceties behind, Alex." He snapped and she straightened.

"I deserve the right to have the key to my room." She said confidently.

"Is that so? You have the right, you say?" he murmured as he walked over to her small desk and swept his hand over it, sending everything to the ground. Alexandra gasped.

"No, not here." He murmured as he walked over to her nightstand.

Alexandra stepped towards him.

His hand opened all her drawers and when he did not find the key his gaze fell upon her bed. He grabbed the covers with both hands and shook them before he pushed away her pillow. He grabbed the spare key and turned to her, his eyes flashing.

"You dare to ignore me, you are insolent and now you dare to lock yourself away from me? Who do you think you are?" he slowly advanced on her as he spoke and she swallowed hard.

"No one, my Lord. Surely you've made that quite obvious." She replied and he narrowed his eyes.

"Did that hurt you, my little saint? My public scolding? It was nothing compared to what you did to me." He murmured and she blinked in confusion.

"I beg your pardon?" she whispered.

"No, you're not pardoned!" He exclaimed as he threw the key away. It landed on the corridor.

"Where are your earrings, Alexandra?" he asked her darkly and her hands went reflexively to her naked ears, "Why did you take them off, Alexandra? Hmm?"

"They are too much for me. I don't deserve them." She replied and he tilted his head to the side.

"That's right you don't, you ungrateful little wench." He hissed and the words wounded her.

"Ungrateful?" she whispered with shock.

"I show you my work, my blatant admiration and you throw it back in my face? You ignore the play, the drawing and now my gift? Who do you think you are?" every word was a hiss and her eyes widened.

What was he talking about? She hadn't…

She froze, "I am not ungrateful! I know that the picture is coming with a price!"

"Price?" he spat.

"Yes, price! Won't the King be curious? He's a known womanizer. He has mistresses everywhere. Won't he ask to see your muse, my Lord? I'll be on public display like some highly paid prostitute! Everyone will know about it. Your family will know about it." Her body shook with anger and she saw that he faltered.

"I'd never allow that." He brushed off her worries, 'I'd never let anyone touch you." He hissed, "Is that why you destroyed the copy-…"

"Destroy?" she cut him off rudely.

"I am not finished!" he was enraged by then.

"Well, you should be!" she yelled at him as she walked over to her small closet and pulled out his work, "You want it? Take it back! I'd never think to get rid of it. I am not being cruel on purpose. I am not punishing others for my mistakes." She whispered as she outstretched her hand with the play, the cover mocking her as it stood suspended between them.

Lord Rochester eyed the play and his eyes narrowed before he snarled and reached out to grab her wrist. He pulled her to him in one swift move and a moment later he had her trapped between the wall and his body. Alexandra gasped when his face stopped a breath away from hers.

"My dalliance with the whore hurt you." He noted and Alexandra looked away, "I wonder if it hurt as much as your dismissal."

"Don't compare us! You have choices. I have none! You demand so many things of me! I am just a person. I am just a woman. I demand nothing because now I know what you really are. What you've never stopped being. You are right. I am a fool. You think jewelry will make me forgive all your deeds? Everything that you give cannot pay me back for all the pain I have to endure while being one of your many distractions. I am not Lizzie Barry, my Lord. And I'll never be. And I'll never be your perfect wife. I will never endure your betrayal." She whispered before she pushed him away.

"_Perfect_ wife? The clog of all pleasure, the luggage of life, is what can be said for a very good wife." He spat with disdain and she swallowed thickly.

"Of course. That would be your reply." She nodded, "Because good people are thought to be idiots most of the time."

The Earl sneered, "Good? Who is good, who is bad? Goodness is nothing if wit is not there to guard people. They end up in ruins." He eyed her with intensity and she hesitated with the reply ready on her tongue.

She closed her eyes and shook her head before she spoke_._

"_His wisdom did his happiness destroy,  
Aiming to know that World he shou'd enjoy;  
And Wit, was his vain frivolous pretence,  
Of pleasing others, at his own expense.  
For Witts are treated just like common Whores,  
First they're enjoy'd, and then kickt out of Doores:  
The pleasure past, a threatning doubt remains,  
That frights th'enjoyer, with succeeding pains:  
Women and Men of Wit, are dang'rous Tools,  
And ever fatal to admiring Fools.  
Pleasure allures, and when the Fopps escape,  
'Tis not that they're belov'd, but fortunate,  
And therefore what they fear, at heart they hate." _She whispered and his eyes widened, "Your own words, not mine." She murmured and by then his eyes were filled with bewilderment, "I think you explain the two of us so well. Don't you agree?"

Without waiting for an answer she moved to walk past him but his arm coiled around her waist, halting her movements.

She tensed, "Please don't touch me." She pleaded quietly but when he cupped the back of her head in his palm she slapped his hands away and stepped back, "Stop touching me like this! Can't you at least do me a favour! Just for one time listen to me!" she cried almost hysterically because everything was different. She knew what he did with those hands, she had seen him touching others in the same way. The realization made her insides churn.

The Earl released her and stepped back, obviously shocked by her words. His eyes swept her body and face before he licked his lips and spoke again.

"You know, it's easy when you have your cock choose a wench for you. Blonds, brunettes, redheads. It doesn't matter. The little bugger is appeased easily." He began as he started circling her.

She stiffened and hugged her abdomen as his breath fanned over her cheek.

"But when the heart cannot endure what your prick has chosen…Well, that poses a problem for a gent; especially one with my reputation. So when the blonde starts harping on to her friends about the Earl who couldn't get it up, I'll make sure you're there to defend me." He hissed as he pressed against her for a moment and her eyes widened. She turned to look at him so sharply that she got dizzy.

His face was twisted up in a grimace of distaste but before she could look into his eyes he had already turned away.

"Since you were so keen on staying locked in here," he turned to her and held his key up with a sadistic smirk, "I cannot let you down, can I? After all you are my muse. And what the muse commands the poet must oblige." With that he turned and walked out of her room, shutting and locking the door behind him.

Alexandra did not complain. All she could think of was his last words.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Her hair was wet as she lay down. She turned onto her side and eyed the cover of the play with depredation. She pulled her knees up against her stomach and bit her lip. Was she really at fault? Had she hurt him first? She hadn't thought of that possibility. She had just panicked because he was so smug about his success, so arrogant that she had not considered his words to be praise or gratefulness. She had just judged quickly and then…

She sighed and pressed her cheek against her pillow. Then he had gone to extreme measures to show his displeasure. Publicly demeaning her and making her look like an insolent little wisp that needed to be put in her place. She was at her proper place, alright. She knew her limits. She knew who she was and what she was. But he should know her limits as well. He could do whatever he wanted while she could only take what he gave and ask for nothing more. It was not fair and it was not right. And the way he demanded things from her made her feel so unworthy but then he went and said those words…That implication that he had no desire to be with another woman meant so much but it didn't mean that he didn't _want_ to be with another woman. He _couldn't_ be with them but the desire to punish her by making her see him with someone else was there. She knew that he had been ignoring his wife in that department. But she wasn't sure about the other women.

His words were a tool to manipulate her perhaps but she knew that he did not lie. He was everything but lying was not among his list of faults. It was useless thinking about the possibilities. Her head was still pounding even after her quick wash. Her fingers rubbed the material of her nightdress and her heart thumped wildly against her chest when she realized that she had slipped on the one he had given her. She smiled sadly at the irony but the damn thing _smelled_ of him. Shaking her head and cuddling closer to the book next to her she closed her eyes. She fell into a light sleep.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Something brushed up against her leg and she woke up with a start. She blinked drowsily but then she heard it. Quiet breathing. She felt the warmth of a body next to hers and the sound of a bottle clanking against metal; his ring. She swallowed hard as she turned slightly so she could see him. He was there, alright. One of his legs was lifted, his sole flat against the mattress while the other lay outstretched across her bed. His waistcoat was gone and he was only in his shirt and breeches. His head was resting against the headboard and his fingers were wrapped tightly around the wine bottle. His gaze was focused on the window across from them, his eyes glimmering, feverish and narrowed.

Alexandra lay back down on her side and bit her lip. Should she talk? Apologize? Her ego wouldn't let her give in so easily but then he was there. He had lowered his walls low enough to come back. Like a dog that returns to his master with his tail between his legs, ashamed of himself for the wrong deed it had committed.

She realized with a start that her hand was clutching onto his play but she did not pull her fingers away. It was too late anyway; he had seen her.

She sat there in silence, listening as he breathed and as he swallowed generous sips of his drink.

"Stop it." The two words left her mouth without her consent and she closed her eyes, waiting for the insult to come. But he remained quiet and kept drinking.

Her heart constricted as the bloody bastard kept poisoning himself and she almost screamed.

"Stop drinking." She repeated in a stronger voice and she heard the noise of the liquid slapping against the bottle as he lowered it from his mouth.

He remained quiet for a few seconds but then he spoke again, "Look at me." He countered and she shook her head.

"Look at me." He repeated but unlike other times there was no command in his tone.

"No." she murmured with a small shake of her head.

"I shall put it away once you look at me." He said in a low voice and she took a deep breath.

"I can't look at you. I'm afraid."

She heard his breath hitch at her words, "Afraid of what?" he asked at last.

Alexandra hesitated, "Of what I'll see in your eyes." She murmured and there was a pause.

"And what do you think you'd see?" he asked her softly.

She shrugged, "Anger, disdain…reproach." She whispered and it was true.

"Reproach? Is that all you see in my gaze, Alexandra? Hate?" he asked her and the sneer was obvious in his voice.

She gulped, "No."

"That's right. It's not. But every time there is something else you go and shatter it. Like the last time." He hissed and she heard him take another gulp of wine.

"There was only arrogance and cheek in your eyes last time, my Lord. No warmth and especially none for me." She snapped and she was shocked when he snarled loudly and threw the bottle against the opposite wall. It smashed against the solid surface and broke into a million little pieces. Dark red slid down the wall and she had to look at him.

His eyes were wild and his lips twisted in an angry scowl, "Cheek for who, you wench? For me?" he barked at her and she jumped, "For what I did or for what _you_ made me do? What _you_ made me create?" his hand grabbed the play and he threw it at her. It fell on her lap with a loud thud, shaking her and cutting her finger as the sharp edge of the paper slid harshly over her thumb.

She looked up at him with wide eyes, her heart flaring up with hope at his words. Her eyes shone with guilt and his nostrils flared at the sight of it.

"Stop looking at me like that, you cunt-…" His words were cut off when her hands grasped at his face and her lips fell upon his. He staggered and he fell against the headboard with a groan, his back and head making painful contact with it but his arms coiled around her nonetheless. His lips fell open under her kiss and he immediately took charge, pushing his tongue into her mouth and weaving his fingers through her hair, pulling her closer. Her knees fell on either side of his legs as she straddled his lap and he groaned when her hand travelled down his chest and grasped onto his shirt tightly. Her fingers abandoned his cheek to thread through his curly strands, twisting her fingers around them and tugging sharply when he bit down on her lip hard enough to bleed. His fingers pulled on her hair and he broke the kiss to suck and bite at her jaw, slowly making his way down her neck.

Her hand left his shirt and slipped underneath to touch his chest, her palm pressing against his heart. He grasped her hand and pulled it away from his chest to entwine their fingers together before he raised it to his lips. He pressed a kiss there, his tongue lapping at her palm before he brought both of his hands at the hem of her nightdress. He grasped it and started pulling it up around her waist before he reached down between them. He slipped further down the bed and then his hands were on her hips, pulling her closer and pushing her down onto him.

Alexandra cried out and clutched at his shoulders, her eyes widening when his lips attached themselves to her throat. Her fingers tightened on his shoulders and when his hand connected with her thigh in a sharp slap she groaned.

"Move." He breathed hoarsely, his voice low and misty with barely contained desire.

And she did; she rose up and slid down again, her movements slow and inadequate but he didn't seem to mind the unrefined rhythm of her hips. His lips twitched and formed a half smirk and when she moved again and again he groaned and let his head fall back against the headboard. His right hand left her hip and slipped up her side to touch her shoulder, gently kneading it with his fingers before he turned his attention to the prickling skin of her collarbone. The coldness of the ring on his little finger caused her to shudder and when his hand cupped the back of her neck to pull her down for a kiss she gasped and fell out of rhythm.

His hands were there to steady her and then his fingers grasped onto her thighs tightly. He leaped forward and he threw her on her back, his hips colliding with her own in an imperious thrust that caused her to cry out.

"Hush." He hissed as he pulled her knee higher up his waist so he could move deeper, press her harder against the narrow mattress, "Hands up and over your head." His command was short and sharp but held an impatient, almost eager tone in it. Feeling as if she were on fire, she obliged and his hand was there to clasp both of her wrists in his as he set up a rough but slow rhythm. His lips were a breath away from hers but he did not close the distance between them, not even when she arched her back and tried to kiss him.

He pulled his head back and away from her, "What do you want?" he asked her as he tilted his head and regarded her parted lips with hunger. When she didn't reply he gave a sharp twist of his hips and leaned down closer.

"Take it then." He murmured and her lips found his a second later. Her legs coiled tighter around his hips and he groaned, breaking the kiss to curse under his breath and to quicken his pace.

Alexandra's eyes drifted shut and then her mouth fell open but no sound escaped. She gasped for breath and she felt as if she was ready to suffocate no matter how much air she drew into her lungs.

Her heart was not beating; it was racing inside her chest. Sweat had gathered on her brow and when his release came and he let go of her wrists, her hands clamped down on his forearms, her nails digging into his skin even through his shirt and he groaned hoarsely before he covered her panting mouth with his own. The kiss brought back the air into her lungs, as if he was breathing for her through the kiss and when he pulled back and regarded her with hooded eyes and glistening lips her eyes could not stop staring at him. Her hands gradually released their grip on his arms and when her hold was loose enough he pulled back with a groan and guided her up towards the pillow. He laid her down and when her head found the pillow he then placed his head on top of her heaving chest, his hips pressed up against her side and his leg between hers. His hands brushed over the neckline of her clothing and then slipped down to rub the skin of her side and stomach through the silky material. A small smirk stretched upon his lips as he watched the movement of his fingers and when he looked up at her she flushed.

"You want this?" he murmured with slight confusion as his arm coiled around her stomach and he pulled her closer.

She blinked and gave a small nod, already feeling exhausted and sleepy but she turned and huddled closer to him, seeking warmth and just _him_. He let her with a small frown and when she turned and buried her face in the crook of his neck his hand hesitated briefly before it cupped the back of her head. He lay back down on his back and even though his vision was blurry from too much drink and completion he entangled his fingers in her hair, and when her breath disturbed the locks at his neck he sank his fingers deeper into her hair and massaged her scalp.

Her breathing evened out and he released a short breath before he looked up at the ceiling with a smirk.

"_Thou art the pilgrim's path, the blind man's eye,_

_The dead man's life. On thee my hopes rely:_

_If I but them remove, I surely die."_ He whispered the recitation before he looked down at her. When he saw her asleep he let his eyes drift shut too.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

When Alexandra woke up she still felt exhausted and the soreness in her legs was a bright reminder of the night before. She let her eyes open and she was shocked when she saw him still there, sitting at the edge of the bed with his back to her.

She gulped and sat up, not sure what she should do or say. She tucked her hair behind her ear and cleared her throat. His shoulders tensed.

"My Lord?" she whispered and then he turned to look at her from over his shoulder, his eyes dark and his hair dishevelled from sleep.

"You were right." He murmured as he turned a bit towards her and threw a letter on the mattress between them.

"Right?" a feeling of dread clogged up her throat and she wondered if her boldness had backfired again. Did he regret-…

"The King wants to meet my muse." He cut off her musings and she froze, "He wants to meet you, Alexandra." He frowned and as he locked eyes with her a dangerous possessive rage shone in his dark orbs.

"He has invited you to Court. With me." He hissed and she watched with increasing horror as he stood from the bed and stormed out of her room, slamming the door behind him.

**End of chapter 16**

**Author's note: Thank you for reading.**

**Some notes below.**

_***The clog of all pleasure, the luggage of life, is what can be said for a very good wife.* **_** This is a quote from John Wilmot himself.**

_***"His wisdom did his happiness destroy,  
Aiming to know that World he shou'd enjoy;  
And Wit, was his vain frivolous pretence,  
Of pleasing others, at his own expense.  
For Witts are treated just like common Whores,  
First they're enjoy'd, and then kickt out of Doores:  
The pleasure past, a threatning doubt remains,  
That frights th'enjoyer, with succeeding pains:  
Women and Men of Wit, are dang'rous Tools,  
And ever fatal to admiring Fools.  
Pleasure allures, and when the Fopps escape,  
'Tis not that they're belov'd, but fortunate,  
And therefore what they fear, at heart they hate." ***_

**This is a part of Wilmot's work called Satyr. An excellent piece if you have the time to read it.**

*****_**"Thou art the pilgrim's path, the blind man's eye,**_

_**The dead man's life. On thee my hopes rely:**_

_**If I but them remove, I surely die."* **_

**This too is from his poem **_**To His Mistress**_**, also something that you should read because it's lovely.**

**Okay, so please review if you can. I hope you liked it! Let me know, please!**

**Until next time, loves!**

**Oh and don't forget to check out TinkerbellxO's story about the Earl! ;o)**

**Xxx Lina ;o)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Welcome, welcome! How are you all? Well I hope.**

**I want to thank: whatcatydidnext, PilferAndLove, Lurid Amaranthine, MissMisc3, nuckythompson, 88dragon06, Makrciana, ForeverACharmedOne, simbasockz, xoangelwingxo, PGAEmma, Leyshla Gisel, dionne dance, music is life 99 xxx, TinkerbellxO and XantheXV. You all rock! I hope you like this chapter too!**

**Oh and I will post a new Libertine story right after this chapter so the ones interested swing by my profile after reading this! The title is **_**Silk & Lace**_**.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 17**

_**My love is as a fever longing still,**_**  
**_**For that which longer nurseth the disease;**_**  
**_**Feeding on that which doth preserve the ill,**_**  
**_**The uncertain sickly appetite to please.**_**  
**_**My reason, the physician to my love, **_**  
**_**Angry that his prescriptions are not kept,**_**  
**_**Hath left me, and I desperate now approve**_**  
**_**Desire is death, which physic did except.**_**  
**_**Past cure I am, now Reason is past care,**_**  
**_**And frantic-mad with evermore unrest;**_**  
**_**My thoughts and my discourse as madmen's are,**_**  
**_**At random from the truth vainly expressed;**_**  
**_**For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright,**_**  
**_**Who art as black as hell, as dark as night.**_

_**~W. Shakespeare, Sonnets**_

Alexandra peered nervously into the room hours later. His study was quiet and she was briefly worried that she was mistaken, that he was not there. But as she pushed the door further open she realized that he was in fact there. He was sitting in his chair behind his desk. His wild curls still messy from sleep and they looked as if he had run his fingers through them too many times. He was resting on his elbows and his eyes were fixated on the cover of the play. There was a fierce snarl upon his mouth and it tainted his handsome features. It also made him look feral. She swallowed hard when she realized that his eyes were not really on his play but upon her discarded earrings.

She felt bad all of a sudden. She should not expect that much from him for he nearly never gave but he had changed his being for her. She had to be more lenient because he was not an ordinary man. He was easily misunderstood by his peers and she had done the same mistake.

Taking a deep breath, she cleared her throat and stepped inside. He did not look up as she made her way over to him. When she came to stand right next to his chair he blinked and pursed his lips.

"My Lord?" she murmured, "Are you alright?" she asked and he took a deep breath.

"I am not easily wounded, Alexandra." He spoke in a low voice and she gulped.

"I am aware of that."

"Are you?" he lifted his head and looked at her with displeasure, "Is that the reason for your latest transgression?" he spat and she frowned.

"I will apologize if I must." She said in a firm tone and he snorted before he lowered his head again. She could see his fingers twisting deep in his hair as he stared at the earrings.

"I have no need for apologies." He grumbled and she took a deep breath.

"Nevertheless, I am sorry." She muttered even though she knew that it wasn't entirely her fault. Her fingers twitched by her sides and in a moment of weakness and impulse she reached out and smoothed her hand over the top of his head. His shoulders tensed at the first touch but then he stood still. Feeling utterly victorious at taming her mighty Lord, she stepped closer and started running her fingers through his hair, brushing them through the tangles. His hands left his head a moment later and his shoulders flexed as if he was holding himself back from pouncing. She came to stand behind his chair and she used both hands for the task. He winced a bit and groaned and she abandoned his hair to use her fingers to rub circles upon his temples. He moaned quietly and leaned back in his chair.

She frowned, "Your Lordship must stop drinking so much…" she murmured and he opened his eyes to look up at her.

"Is that an order?" he cocked an eyebrow but she didn't stop massaging his temples.

"Merely a suggestion stemmed out of care." She replied and he froze.

In a flash he had her wrists clasped in his hands and he pulled her roughly around. He pushed his chair back by propelling himself backwards and he tugged on her hands.

She fell upon his lap with a gasp. She had no time to get used to the new position because his hands grabbed her face and pulled it forward. His mouth covered hers and his hands slid into her hair a moment later. His fingers twisted themselves deep in her strands and he tugged harshly as his tongue parted her lips with voracious intent. Her eyes drifted tightly shut as his lips sucked on her bottom lip hard enough to be painful and she reciprocated by kissing his upper lip gently. He groaned and pulled his lips away with a bite on her lip. He leaned his forehead against her chest and breathed heavily through his nose before he raised his eyes on her.

"Don't care too much. Expectation is the root of all heartache." He breathed harshly and she frowned.

"You're quoting Shakespeare again, my Lord." She murmured as she brushed the back of her fingers over his jaw, "But you are mistaken. If you don't expect you don't live. You can't live alone. What is a little heartache to a lifetime of loneliness?" she whispered and then brushed his lips with her fingers. His mouth fell open and he closed his lips around two of her fingers. His eyes were narrowed because her words had obviously ruffled him and he gave a brief suck on her fingers before he laved at them with his tongue. He released them a moment later and tilted his head to the side as he regarded her with interest.

"Don't speak such words to me." He murmured, "I might use them against you. Don't let me break you, Alexandra." He said before he leaned forward and grasped the earrings.

She blinked in confusion but then he turned her face away from him. He pushed her hair back and away from her neck before he hooked the first earring on her ear. He turned her head over and did the same with the other before he grasped her chin and made her look at him.

"Don't ever take them off again. I won't forgive you." He hissed with dark venomous eyes and she was still shocked that his mood could change so abruptly.

She lowered her gaze but she could still feel his eyes on her, burning her.

"I am not possessive in nature. I didn't care if my wenches had other men besides me." He started and she flushed, "But you." He snorted bitterly, "I won't ever share you with anyone. Never." He made her look at him, "I don't care if it's God himself." He released her and eyed the play with obvious, blatant disgust.

"But I have to flaunt you for a while." He muttered and her eyes widened.

"You will accept the King's proposal then?" she asked as a heavy feeling twisted her guts into a fist.

"I have no choice. I must please our monarch." He grimaced and eyed her, "We need to work on you though. Stand up." He ordered her and she did as he bid, "Make a turn." He whirled his finger in a circle and she obliged, "Stop. Face away from me, chin up." He stood as well and started circling her like a hawk, "Shoulders up." He slapped her lower back gently to wake her and she squared her shoulders.

"Good. Now rise up on your tiptoes." He smirked when she did so and she rolled her eyes.

"I am so glad I amuse you." She muttered and he came to stand in front of her. He leaned close to her face and grinned.

"You should be alarmed if you stop doing so." He cocked an eyebrow and she gaped at him. He leaned forward and stole a deep wet kiss before he pulled back. Alexandra's cheeks flushed and she cleared her throat.

"Can you walk in high heels?" he asked as he went to stand behind her. He placed his hands upon her hips and he helped her stand on her toes. He placed his chin upon her shoulder and looked at her profile.

"Not really."

"Hmm, you shall." He said shortly and his hands tightened a bit on her hips before he released her.

"But first I need a bath. Get going." He stepped towards his desk and Alexandra blinked rapidly.

"First?"

"Indeed. You may join me if you like. I'll send Alcock for some clothes for you." He said neutrally.

"So soon? When is the invitation?"

"Why my dear, in two days." He replied sourly and she almost fell over.

"Oh." She voiced before she turned and walked away with her heart in her stomach.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"My Lord, I don't want this! What are we going to say? Everyone will know about us. I don't want to hurt anyone." She whispered as he paced up and down with a glass in his hand.

"There is no way out of it. I've already told you so! Why do you insist pestering me about such matters?" he barked at her and she stiffened.

"You will say I am your servant then?" she asked and he paused.

"The King is already aware of your place in my household." He informed her and she gasped.

"He does? And he is going to accept me in his court?" she asked dubiously.

"Alexandra, don't be dense!" he exclaimed sharply, "He accepts whores in his court. His mistresses are wenches. Why should he care if you were a servant?" he was exasperated, "And where is that idiot?" he snarled as he eyed the window with dark eyes.

"It's a long way till London." She said quietly.

"We have no time." He slapped his glass upon the tray and then turned to her.

"We shall practice the contemporary dance then." He said as he shrugged out of his crisp robe and started approaching her.

She tensed up and gazed at him with incredulity, "Dance? I don't dance!" she took a step back.

"Yes, you do." He said darkly.

"But I cannot! My feet are clumsy."

He had reached her by then and he clasped her hand in his, "My dear, I on the other hand am famous for my light footing." He smirked deviously, "Now," he started as he tugged her close, so close that their noses were almost touching, "Keep your spine straight-…"

"What kind of dance is this? It's inappropriate for a couple to be so close." She stammered.

"Indeed. Nevertheless, it's the new fashion in Italy." He informed her almost clinically and she blinked.

"Italy?"

He placed her hand, well forced it to rest upon his shoulder and then placed his own upon her waist.

"Hmm. The church had condemned it in the last century." He cocked an eyebrow, "Now, turn your face away. We mustn't look at each other." He commanded and she almost sobbed.

"What kind of a dance is this?" she almost squealed.

"Well, it's most definitely not the Volta." He remarked dryly, "It's a two beat." He said quietly, "Just copy me." He instructed.

"I can't even see what I must be copying!" she exclaimed as she held onto him a little more tightly than necessary.

"Alexandra, focus. Fine, fine! Forget the head at the moment. Look at my feet." He said impatiently, "Wait. Take off your shoes." He paused and she kicked her shoes away.

"Good. Now, move." He nodded at her and she tried, she really tried.

"Move on the ground not on top of my feet!" he snapped and she glared at him, "Don't give me that look. Try." He hissed and when she stepped onto his foot for the third time he groaned and threw her away from him.

"Disaster." He muttered as he walked away and downed the rest of his drink in one go. He put the glass away and looked at her as she remained standing where he had left her.

"Again." He said more quietly as he approached her. He took her hand again and placed his other one on her waist. He pulled her closer still and then started counting the steps.

"Again…Don't step on my feet for God's sake! It's easy." He muttered as he twirled them over once and started over again.

"I feel like an idiot." She murmured as she gazed down at his feet.

"You dance like one too." He remarked harshly and she felt her anger flaring at his words.

"Perhaps you're not a good teacher." She fired back and he paused.

"Perhaps. Let's take a different approach." He said smoothly with mischievous eyes.

He stilled her and smirked, "Let' s consider dancing well, this dance, as a slow shag."

Her eyes widened, "If you're teasing me-…"

"Silence!" he cut her off sharply and she shut her mouth, "Don't be insolent. As I said, let's consider it as a slow shag which gradually gets faster. Now, the _Weller_, as it is called, has slow gliding footsteps whose pace increases appropriately with the music." He looked at her firmly, "You are accustomed to slow shags aren't you?" he smirked when she blushed.

"I am also accustomed in bites but they are unnecessary for the dance, yes?" she replied bitingly and he chuckled.

"Don't be so sure. Now, follow me and don't step on my feet with your own because I will cut them off. I mean it." He tugged her closer and started moving.

Minutes later they were still at it and even if she didn't step onto his toes she still couldn't remember the steps. It was tragic really because he was not shy in showing his displeasure.

Loud laughter made her pause.

"What are you doing? My Lord?" Alcock barked but the Earl didn't seem to be bothered for he continued tugging along.

"We're doing the Weller, you idiot." He snapped unperturbed.

"The what?" Alcock was still laughing while he held onto three different dresses.

"It's a dance." Alexandra informed him.

"Oh…Why?" Alcock dropped the ironed dresses unceremoniously upon the settee and approached them. The man even outstretched his arms and started copying the Earl's movements. The image made her burst into laughter and the Earl snarled in irritation.

"To hell with both of you!" he spat as he threw her away from him in a fit of rage, "This is not the proper time for ridicule! If you step into that court you will be asked to dance. With me or with someone else it doesn't matter! You will be asked to speak! I won't be made a fool because you're too immature to realize what you must do!" he reprimanded her harshly and all laughter left her face.

Alcock frowned but stopped flailing his arms and feet about like an idiot.

"My Lord-…" she started as he walked over to the table and refilled his glass.

"What court?" Alcock asked and Alexandra sighed.

"The King has invited me to court, Alcock. With the Earl." She muttered as she reached down to massage her feet.

"Why?" he asked incredulously.

"Because of this." Lord Rochester thrust the play towards Alcock. It landed on the servant's chest and he grasped it before it fell on the ground.

He looked at it and then his eyes widened, "That's Alex!" he exclaimed.

"Really?" The Earl mocked and Alexandra shot him a sharp glance.

"You're the muse then?" Alcock grinned salaciously and the Earl stormed up to him and slapped the back of his head in reprimand.

"Focus! Now go and fetch the fiddler. I need some music for this fucking dance. And don't say a word to anyone about this or I shall send you back where you came from." He hissed as he tugged the play out of his hands and Alcock gulped and then smirked.

"Aye, me Lord." And then he was gone.

Lord Rochester took a deep breath and a long sip before he turned to face Alexandra.

"Don't embarrass me, girl. You need to listen. Do you understand?" he warned quietly and she sighed before she nodded.

"I understand." She murmured.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"I still can't believe it. You let him draw you? Haha! Hilarious!" Alcock repeated for the hundredth time and Alexandra rolled her eyes.

"What's so amusing in that?" she asked as she leaned down and massaged her foot, "It's just a picture." She murmured.

Alcock leaned forward and grasped her hands, "Is it?" the laughter was gone and his face was serious.

Alexandra faltered, "What do you mean?"

"I mean you're in deeper waters than you should. No one has ever inspired him to write something so big." He said quietly as he leaned against the kitchen table.

"And?"

"You've slept with him. Don't deny it. It's obvious. And he's no longer gloating about that bloody actress. You've cured him of her. So, tell me the truth." Alcock sat down next to her and she swallowed hard.

"What else can I say?" she whispered.

"You're not denying it." He pointed a finger at her.

"What would I gain if I did? Everyone will know what I am as soon as I step into the palace." She took a shaky breath and shook her head in resignation, "I'll be on display as one of the many mistresses. And Lady Rochester will know. That's what hurts me the most." She wiped at a tear and sniffed loudly.

"And not his ways?" Alcock's expression was surprised.

"No…because I know him now."

"You've gotten used to him." He remarked.

"Probably not." She whispered in a barely audible voice.

His eyes widened, "Bloody hell! You love him! Oh, no." he shook his head, "How can you be so stupid?"

"I just am! For God's sake, I didn't do it on purpose! I hadn't even acknowledged him before I came to London! He was just the vain, cruel master of Adderbury to me. He hadn't even noticed me for he was gone all the time!" she bit her lip, "I never meant for any of this to happen. And if I fail then the King will be cross with him and he will take everything he gave back."

Alcock groaned, "What a bloody mess." He muttered and then patted her hand, "And you care if he does?"

"Of course. He's an Earl. It's the way of society."

"And it pays our wages." He added and she chuckled.

"That too." She nodded.

"Well the visit is two days away. Let us not worry about it yet." He announced more cheerily and she nodded.

"I suppose."

He groaned and pulled her for a short embrace. She startled but relaxed because no one had done this for her in so long. She lingered for a moment and then pulled back.

"Thank you."

He winked and stood up, "Got to feed the horses." He stepped back and on his way out he collided with the Earl.

"Are you blind?" he snarled and Alcock smirked.

"Aye, me Lord!" was his cheery reply and Lord Rochester rolled his eyes before he stepped under the threshold.

"Come to my chamber." He told her shortly and when she nodded he walked away.

She took a deep breath and after he had gone away she stood and followed him in silence.

He had left the door ajar but she hesitated in stepping in. He had been so cross with her during the dancing tutoring that she feared of saying anything that would make him explode again.

"I can see your mad hair, girl. Get in here." He called snappishly and her eyes widened. Did he have eyes on the back of his head too? Good Lord.

She stepped in and she squealed. He was in the process of pulling his nightgown over his head.

He turned to look at her with a cocked eyebrow, "Did you just squeal?" he asked her with amusement and she flushed.

"Your buttocks are squeal worthy I fear, my Lord." She blurted out and then covered her mouth with her hands.

His eyebrows disappeared under his hairline for a moment but then he let out a short laugh.

"Get in here." He beckoned over with two imperious fingers and she shut the door. She took a look around and he groaned.

"Come closer. I won't spank you for your insolence today. _Today_ is the keyword." He said and when she was close enough she looked up into his eyes.

"You'd hit me?" she murmured and he smirked.

"Only for pleasure." His hand shot out and he grabbed her arm, hauling her over with extreme speed. His hand fell heavy upon the back of her neck as he pulled her in for a long kiss and she fisted her hands on the material of his nightgown. An unadulterated moan escaped her lips and he swallowed it before he pulled back and pushed her quite roughly away. She landed on the bed on her back and as she tried to sit up his hands shot out and grasped hold of her ankles. Her eyes widened and her breath hitched as he got onto the bed on his knees.

"But I find," he started as he lowered her stockings and pressed his mouth against her ankle, "That you're quite different." He murmured as his teeth nipped their way up her calf and just below her knee.

"D-different?" she gasped as she squirmed in his hold only to have him tighten his grip on her legs.

"Stay still." He ordered sharply and his nails bit into the soft skin of her calves as he spoke.

Alexandra bit her tongue and tried hard not to wiggle.

"Good girl."

She shuddered as the praise caused her heart to leap nearly up to her mouth. How did he do that? How could his patronizing words sound pleasing to her ears? She was most probably sick but she liked it when he reprimanded her and made her do his bidding. Probably because it gave her a feeling of power. She was able to make him mad and he had to try hard to make her conform to him. Just to test her power she started squirming again and his growl of displeasure rang loudly in her ears and made her smirk.

His eyes locked with hers and he caught on to her small trick. His hands loosened their hold and she frowned as he crawled closer without touching her.

"You have a problem with me touching you, Alexandra?" he murmured darkly, "Fine. I don't care for foreplay anyway." He informed her and she gulped.

He grinned crookedly, "Where's your smirk now, Alexandra?" he purred her name as he leaned down to her face and locked his eyes upon her lips. He tilted his head to the side and blew on her lips gently. She shuddered and leaned up but he reared his head back and away from her.

"No, no. We shall play by your rules." His grin was like a wolf's as his hands trailed down on the mattress by her sides without touching her. Her legs were on either side of his hips and when she tried to coil them around his waist he slapped her thighs hard.

"I said no!" he hissed and as she looked into his eyes she could see the hunger burning in them. She swallowed thickly. She had only been jesting for God's sake.

His hands reached up and fingered a lock of her curly hair and she gulped as his free hand reached down between them. His hips slithered lower between her thighs and then his hand was under her dress and on her undergarments. The loud ripping sound rang in her ears and her breath hitched as his eyes did not stray from her face. His hand did not linger between her thighs like other times but she knew there was no need for it to do so. His eyes were all she needed for her heart to thrash wildly against her ribcage and for her thighs to shake with the desire to pull him closer.

His fingers twisted deeper into her locks and as he rocked forward he pulled her head up so their mouths were almost touching. A loud gasp echoed in the silence of the room and the cackling fire in the hearth seemed to flare up as he thrust inside her. Her breath hitched as he pulled back only to push forward again and as she arched her back and bucked under him he weaved his fingers deeper into her hair and tugged. She winced against the slight pain and he smirked as he withdrew only to slam his hips hard against hers again a moment later. Her hands grasped at the quilt under her and she tried hard not to grasp at his face and shoulders for support. His mouth was brushing up against hers with every thrust and as she parted her lips to pant for air she felt his breath, hot and wet upon her tongue, clouding her senses. His hair tickled her cheeks and neck and without meaning to she reached up to push it back and away from his face.

He groaned and turned his head so he could kiss, lick and nuzzle her palm. Her eyes widened at the intimacy of the gesture and with a nervous bite of her lip she wrapped her legs around him and pulled him in deeper. He hissed and slammed his hand hard against the mattress by her head, startling her and she leaned up to brush her lips over his cheekbone. He gasped and ground his hips deeper against her and when her lips kissed and nuzzled the spot behind his ear he threw his head back grunted hoarsely.

His hands grasped at her face and he pulled her head back so he could attack her mouth with his own but then a knock on the door broke through their haze and he cursed out loud.

"My Lord!" Alcock's voice was loud and insistent and caused Alexandra to go rigid under him.

"What?" he groaned with agitation as he paused in his movements, his breathing hard and uneven.

"There's a letter from Adderbury, my Lord." Alcock replied hesitantly.

"From who?" Rochester ground out as he locked eyes with Alexandra and brushed his thumb over her lips.

"Your mother, my Lord." The servant replied.

"What does it say?" The Earl asked impatiently as he smirked at Alexandra's embarrassed blush.

"It's Lady Elizabeth, my Lord. She…she uh, had a miscarriage." Alcock blurted out at last and every muscle in the Earl's form became taut and rigid.

His eyes lost their hungry glimmer and his hands moved away from Alexandra's body as quickly as they had fallen upon it.

He looked between them and he grimaced, in disgust or agitation she wasn't sure, before he pulled away from her as if burned and left her on the bed alone.

Alexandra quickly brought her knees up to her stomach and turned away from him as he headed over to the door and opened it. A feeling of self loathing started creeping up inside her and the guilt she had left aside the last few weeks returned with a vengeance. She suddenly felt dirty and it had nothing to do with him. Because it was his choice to stray but it was also her choice to bend to his will.

"When did it happen?" the Earl asked as he stepped outside and shut the door, concealing her from Alcock's eyes.

She didn't feel grateful at all.

"A few hours ago." Alcock replied quietly.

"Prepare the horse. I am going over right now." He ordered and as he stepped back inside to get dressed she knew, just knew that he hadn't spared her a glance. Why did that hurt so much?

_**Lust's passion will be served; it demands, it militates, it tyrannizes.**_

_**~Marquis de Sade**_

**End of chapter 17**

**Author's note: Ahem, thank you for reading! Liked it? Hated it? Please let me know with a comment! I live for them! :p**

**P.S: The _Weller_ was the first waltz. It arrived from Italy in 1598 and expanded all over Europe during the next centuries. Just a bit of info.**

**Oh and keep an eye out for the new story. It will be up shortly after this!**

**Until next time, loves!**

**Xxx Lina ;o)**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Welcome back! I apologize for the delay but it's been hectic around here.**

**I want to thank: **

**Whatcatydidnext, TinkerbellxO, Jay D. Moore, nuckythompson, PilferAndLove, ForeverACharmedOne, MissMisc3, Gary the Snail x3, CharlieCats, dionne dance, simbasockz, Makrciana, XantheXV and xoangelwingxo. Thank you all for the support.**

**On with the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 18**

'_**And we all know love is a glass, which makes even a monster appear fascinating.'**_

_**~Alberto Moravia, The Woman Of Rome**_

_The park was empty and dark. The tall trees were shadowy, lanky and they looked lifeless. They were bare, with not a single leaf hanging from their branches. Alexandra found herself in the middle of the deer territory and as she looked around she couldn't even see a single animal. Frowning with perplexity at finding herself so far away from the manor, she stiffened and let her wide eyes peruse the grand open space. The grass was wet and cool under her feet and as she looked down she realized that her hem was ripped._

_She froze._

_She quickly looked up and took a timid step forward, "Hello?" her voice was strong and it resonated around her. Several echoes of that single word rang in her ears and she winced at the loudness of it all. Moments passed until everything was quiet again._

_A shiver ran right through her and she knew that she was dreaming. She had never been in that part of the park. She had only ventured as far as the stables but now she was sure that she was nowhere near the house._

_She gazed up when she heard the flapping of wings passing over her head but she was not quick enough to see if it was a bird or something else._

_Not looking down, her feet stepped onto something wet, like mud, and she gasped as she looked down. She raised her already dirty and torn skirt and what she saw made her pause. Her feet were ankle deep into what felt like mud but looked like blood. She tried to pull her feet out but she couldn't; something was holding her back, preventing her to free herself of the swamp. _

_She could hear her heart beating loudly, pounding against her chest but then a soft breeze blew and ruffled her hair. Along with the wind came a low, hoarse whistling sound and the noise caused her to shudder. She tried to keep still and she strained her ears, trying to listen more carefully. She tried to find the source of the whistling but her efforts were in vain until the whistling turned into loud sobs of despair._

_Alexandra turned her head right and left before she turned in a circle. The pool of bloodlike mud around her feet splashed disgustingly but she paid it no mind. She needed to see who was crying so loudly._

_She squinted and tried to see in the dark and she almost gave up until she saw the antlers of a stag passing her by. The animal ran towards the bare trees and Alexandra pulled her feet sharply from the ground and started trailing after it. She was surprised that she managed to escape the puddle of crimson mud but all her thoughts disappeared when she arrived at a specific part of the woods. The area was clean, not muddy and there was bright green grass on the ground. Tall pine trees were creating a circle and in the middle there was a wounded deer. _

_Alexandra tried to remind herself that it was a dream and that in dreams it was possible for animals to sob like humans. It was an illusion anyway._

_Feeling stricken at the sight of the bloodied animal she approached and as she walked her feet were leaving crimson patterns behind. What she didn't see was that from the blood bright red rose blossoms sprang from the earth, creating an Eden like garden around her and the injured deer._

_But then something peculiar happened. The wounded animal started changing and slowly it transformed into the form of a woman._

_Alexandra paused when she saw familiar light brown hair. The woman was curled onto her right side and she was cradling her flat but bloodied stomach._

_Alexandra walked around her and when she saw who it was she gasped and tears gathered into her eyes._

_Lady Elizabeth was lying on the green grass, completely bare. Her flawless skin was a deathly white and she was clean apart from the blood on her belly. Her hair was lying in waves upon the ground and there was an ethereal light about her. Alexandra was convinced that she looked exactly like an angel; an incomplete one._

_Tears in the form of crystals were slipping down her porcelain cheeks and Alexandra wanted to comfort her. She started approaching but then her eyes caught the woman's chest._

_Alexandra screamed and stumbled back when she saw the large gaping hole at Lady Elizabeth's chest. The scream made the other woman look at Alexandra and when their eyes locked Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak but she couldn't. _

_Alexandra shuffled towards the wounded woman and as soon as she was close Elizabeth's hand grasped hers._

_Her hand was so cold that it brought shivers up and down Alexandra's spine._

"_My Lady." She breathed as she blinked away the tears but the only response she got was a gurgled groan._

_Elizabeth shut her eyes and as she did so crimson tears slipped from them. Alexandra screamed again but as she tried to shuffle forward something brushed up against her knee. She looked down and froze. Elizabeth's torn out heart was lying between them in a bloodied mess and before she had the time to move away the hand inside her own turned hot, almost scorching. She dropped it with another scream and stumbled backwards._

_She fell onto her back and as her back collided with the grass she felt it giving out from under her. She started falling down and the air was slapping her face and skin with force as she did so. Something stopped her fall and she gasped. Arms wrapped around her back and under her knees and she realized that she was cradled against a warm chest. It was dark and as she placed her hands against the man's chest she felt the soft material of a shirt under her fingertips. Something scratchy brushed her knuckles and she grasped onto the cloth. She knew that fabric. The Earl's lacy cravat. _

_She gasped when she was pushed upwards and before she could draw another breath she felt his lips closing over her own. Unlike other times the kiss was not welcomed. In fact there was something peculiar about it. The metallic taste of blood filled her mouth and she groaned, trying to pull back but he was relentless. His teeth bit down sharply onto her lower lip and she thrust a hand in his hair in an effort to push him back._

_A growl escaped his throat and then he let go of her with a snarl. She cried out and when she didn't hit the ground and kept falling backwards, she screamed._

She shot up on her bed and gasped for breath. Her eyes searched the space around her frantically for any sign of the woods but she was in her chamber. A single candle was illuminating the room and Alexandra realized that it was in the middle of the night. She raised a hand up to her forehead and wiped at the cold sweat before she got out of bed. She grabbed her shawl and wrapped it around her shoulders before she tiptoed to the door. She opened it and headed towards the kitchen. She doubted she'd be able to sleep again. She had to find something to do…

She stepped into the dark kitchen and walked around to the counter to get a candle. As she fumbled with the matches she heard a clanking sound. She quickly lit up the match and then turned around with the candle. She found Alcock at the table, eating from a large pot.

"What on earth are you doing here? Why are you back?" she asked him and he swallowed the stew before he replied.

"He sent me away…I got hungry. Want some?" Spittle with bits of potatoes and carrots escaped his mouth and she scowled.

"Just chew." She said as she tentatively walked over to him and sat down. She placed the candle between them and she wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"You stink." She announced and he paused to sniff himself.

"I walked back."

Alexandra would have laughed if she hadn't been so upset by her dream, "Again?" she muttered instead, "How is Lady Elizabeth?" she asked and Alcock sighed before he placed the spoon and pot on the table.

"Weak. He said he'll be back soon."

"Of course. It's the court visit tomorrow." She muttered, "How…how is he?"

"You really want to know that?" he asked her and she sighed.

"I guess not." She shook her head.

Alcock eyed her with a frown, "Are you alright?"

She shrugged, "No. Will that make any difference anyway?" she asked before she stood and made her way to the washroom.

Alcock groaned and threw the stew pot away in irritation.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOo

A cold hand upon her calf caused her to jump awake. She turned onto her side and her eyes widened when she saw who it was.

"My Lord?" she immediately sat up but he didn't look up. His eyes were fixated upon her pale foot. His ink stained fingers trailed up and down her skin, drawing various patterns or even letters and she blinked in confusion.

She shuffled closer and as she did so her leg rode high up his thigh. His hands trailed up her legs and his fingers gripped her tightly. Alexandra reached out and hesitantly touched his cheek. It was hot and her eyes flashed with alarm.

"You're warm but your hands are cold." She murmured as she cupped his cheek. He closed his eyes and turned his head so he could nip and lap at her palm before he drew her closer and leaned his forehead against hers.

He winced and placed a hand at his lower belly before he reached out to sloppily kiss her mouth.

Alexandra pulled back and grasped his hand, "Does it hurt?"

"Which one?" he asked her drowsily and she realized that he probably hadn't slept at all.

"Your stomach-…"

"Shut up, sweet." He murmured huskily as he leaned heavily against her and laid his head upon her bosom. Alexandra frowned and let him snuggle against her chest before she slowly moved back and lay back down on the bed. He moved on top of her until he was lying on the matress between her legs. His hand reached down and grasped her leg underneath her knee before he pulled it over his hip.

His breath warm and moist fell upon her skin and as she gazed down upon him she saw that he had his eyes open even if they were a bit half lidded. His gaze was fixated across from him and she turned her head to see what had grasped his attention. She flushed when she noticed the dress and undergarments she had picked out for the visit at Court.

"You chose green." He murmured and as he spoke his lips brushed against the top of her breast.

Alexandra shrugged, "I like the color-…"

"I don't. Wear the gold one." He cut her off with finality and her eyes widened.

"But-…"

"Why are you still talking?" he asked her crisply and she stiffened under him.

She pulled her hands from his hair and let them fall at the mattress before she looked up at the ceiling.

The Earl sighed against her skin and grumbled something under his breath.

"What did you say, my Lord?" she asked bitingly and she saw that he scowled.

"Are you deaf now?"

"I can be when I want to." She replied with a shrug.

"You mean when _I_ am talking." He sneered before he bit down on her skin.

She winced and shifted under him, "I am sorry for your loss." She said instead and his body tensed up, "I had this awful dream and I think I was affected by the news of-…"

"Keep your pity and condolences for yourself. I have no use for them." He said petulantly as he settled his cheek back down upon her cleavage.

"Excuse me for being-…"

"Nice? Caring?" he looked up at her with distaste, "You are, don't worry. Pathetically so."

Alexandra felt her eyes welling up from anger and emotion, "You don't mean that."

He pulled back from her abruptly, "Don't presume to know what I mean or not-…"

"What do you want from me?" she exploded as she sat up.

He pushed her back down roughly, "I want you to stop talking. Now." He hissed before he promptly laid his head down upon her stomach instead.

Alexandra gaped at him.

"I'm so tired." He whispered as he placed his hand upon her hip and held her in place, "All this unnecessary drama is messing with my head. My bloody kidneys hurt again, Elizabeth is like she buried me instead of a fetus and you…" he scoffed, "You cling to me like a leech-…"

"And you don't?" she cut him off and he paused, his shoulders tensing up.

"It's not your place." He replied crisply.

"And what _is_ my place, my Lord? Submitting to your every need?"

"It's your job to submit." He answered with irk and she froze.

"My …" she trailed off and then quickly rolled away from him.

He let her and lay down on his back instead, his eyes on the ceiling.

"What is it now?" the question had a tinge of boredom in it but Alexandra knew him too well. Behind the boredom there is something else, something deeper.

"You ordered me to wear the gold dress. I have to iron it." She replied shortly before she walked out of her chamber, leaving him alone.

When she came back with the dress he was no longer there.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Lean forward." The Earl's voice was tight, as tight as the corset that hugged her waist.

She held onto the bedpost and he started tugging; hard.

"Jesus Christ!" she exclaimed as he pulled at the strings with such force that the air was knocked right out of her.

"Stop moaning like a cow. I swear you're testing my limits today." He snapped at her harshly and she realized that they were back where they had started. It was like everything before Lady Elizabeth's miscarriage had never happened. What was his problem? She had understood him perfectly. She was not to hover, she was not to cling and she was not to care. Although, the last part was proving to be quite the difficult task. Especially when it was obvious that he was in physical pain.

"What is the purpose of me going if I cannot breathe?"

"It's etiquette."

"I'm a servant."

"_My_ servant." She could hear the bloody smirk in his voice as he tied the laces into a tight knot and then whirled her around. He eyed her waist, hips and chest with appraisal before he leaned forward as if to kiss her.

Alexandra pulled back in time and he paused just a breath away from her lips. He regarded her for a moment before he narrowed his eyes.

"Why you women always hold a grudge against us?" he murmured and she frowned.

"I am sorry?"

"You always remember every single word we say and you throw it right back to us. You're cruel, Alexandra. And here you claim that you know me." He lingered for a moment and she blinked in surprise.

She was not cruel. She was following instructions. Wasn't that what he wanted from her? The lines had started to blur and she hated it.

He made to pull back and he had a severe expression upon his face but before he managed to move away she grabbed his arm.

He eyed her hand on his forearm with a cocked eyebrow before he turned to face her fully. He watched her expectantly, like a hawk and she realized that despite his protestations about his blatant disgust towards her tender feelings for him he actually liked to be petted; like most men. He just had his limits.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped forward and placed her free hand upon his chest. She gave a firm push and he landed against his wardrobe with a thud. His eyes widened minutely but when she pressed closer to him his lips pulled up in that familiar half smirk. His eyes, heavy and glimmering, fell upon her lips and she parted them on purpose. His mouth fell open a bit and when she moved in he was the first to close the distance between them. His lips tasted like mint and his sandalwood perfume, the one he always wore when he was at the King's company, filled her senses. Her hands traveled up his torso and settled on the buttons of his intricate waistcoat as his tongue pushed past the seal of her lips and stole her breath away.

When she pulled back, he took his time in opening his eyes and when he finally did, he smirked.

"If I wasn't in so much pain, I'd take you right now…" he murmured and her cheeks flushed as his hand travelled down her side, "Hurry up or we'll be late." He gave her a sharp pat on the thigh and propelled her forward, "Put the dress on." He moved past her and grabbed his cravat.

He came to stand in front of the full body mirror and as he adjusted his cravat he looked at her while she was fumbling with the dress.

He snorted, "Green." He muttered sarcastically, "Gold is the right choice." He drawled as he eyed her.

She tried hard not to glare at him and if she hadn't been so dizzy from his kiss, she would have come up with something witty. Instead, she shut her mouth and carried on dressing.

"So, a few questions." He started as he finished with his cravat and turned to her with a hand on his hip, "Do you look the King in the eye unless he speaks to you?" he cocked an eyebrow at her.

"No."

"Correct. Do you accept more food?"

"No." she rolled her eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes. It's so unladylike." He scolded as he grabbed his coat and pulled it on, "Do you stray from my side?"

"What am I? A dog?" she snapped sharply but he only smirked.

"A tiger but that is beyond the point." He quipped and she walked over to him for the laces of the dress.

He grabbed them but unlike her corset he secured them gently before he placed his hands on her hips, "Just keep your mouth shut and you'll be fine. Oh and another thing. Be polite." He then released her and reached out to grab his hat and wig.

"Alcock!" he barked and Alexandra glared at him. Did he always have to shout at the poor man?

"Me Lord?"

"We're ready." He announced and Alcock nodded before he grinned salaciously at Alexandra. On his way out of the room, the Earl slapped the back of his servant's head roughly, causing him to stumble.

"Me Lord?" Alcock rubbed the back of his head in confusion.

"_Try_ not to look like an idiot. I know it's a novelty for you." Rochester hissed at him with narrowed eyes and Alcock straightened.

"Aye, me Lord." He replied as he handed the Earl his walking stick.

Lord Rochester glared at him before he walked away.

Alexandra followed him with depredation.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The shoes were down right uncomfortable and the heavy dress was weighing her down as she walked behind the Earl with her head lowered. She was not supposed to look up completely neither should she hide her face entirely.

"My Lord Rochester. Welcome." A male voice greeted and Alexandra tried hard not to look up in curiosity.

"Viscount." The Earl greeted in return as he stopped walking.

"You have company I see. How is Lady Rochester?" the man asked and he sounded surprised.

"She is in good spirits. And yes, this is-…"

"Your latest muse."

Alexandra couldn't help it. She looked up. The man in front of her eyed her with interest and his green eyes were focused on her face.

"Indeed. The King has invited us. How did you know?" the Earl asked almost pleasantly and Alexandra took the chance to look at the grand gate; the Anne Boleyn Gate. It was beautiful and intimidating, but rumor had it that the King did not like the palace. He thought it too old-fashioned.

"It is my duty to know as Gentleman of the Bedchamber. It has come to my attention that you have abandoned your duties yourself for a while now."

Alexandra turned to look at Rochester who was leaning heavily against his walking stick. So, he was still in pain.

"Yes, well." He chuckled, "Lines don't write themselves." He replied smoothly.

"Indeed. Congratulations for your knew position at Woodstock." The Viscount added but she could see that the Earl wanted to keep walking.

"Thank you. Forgive me for I must proceed."

Even she could hear the boredom in the Earl's voice. It was obvious that he hated life at court.

"Of course." The man bowed and then walked away.

Rochester rolled his eyes and continued walking. Alexandra ran to keep up with him.

"Fops." He muttered and Alexandra bit her lip not to chuckle.

They entered the palace and they were stopped by other people as well. Two were musicians of the King, one was a young poet and another one was a woman who seemed to hate the Earl.

"Lord Rochester." She drawled as she eyed him up and down. She didn't spare Alexandra a glance.

"Lady Castlemaine." He bowed low and smirked at her.

The dark haired woman looked at him imperiously but there was displeasure in her brown gaze.

"Who is this poor girl? You didn't kidnap her too, did you?" she eyed Alexandra with scrutiny.

"No need, madam. She won't leave." The Earl replied with a full grin and Alexandra wondered if there had been something between them, but when the woman glared at the Earl she realized that there were no romantic feelings involved.

"I doubt it. Your escapades can get tiresome after a while. Nevertheless, welcome and I hope there is no inapt parchment hiding under your sleeve this time." She snapped sharply before she turned and walked away towards the Great Hall.

The Earl bowed at her and chuckled before he turned to look at Alexandra.

"The King's mistresses do not like me." He informed her in a low voice and with a crooked smirk he motioned her to keep following him.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"She is indeed exquisite, Johnny. Well done. Where did you get her?"

Alexandra tried hard not to gape at the monarch. Where did he get her? What was she? A slave?

"A gift from my mother, your Majesty." The Earl replied evenly.

"Extraordinary gift. Please, be seated. The feast is about to begin." The King drawled flippantly and the Earl took Alexandra's arm and led her to a chair. She was seated next to him and next to her was the man they had met with earlier; Robert Montagu, Viscount Mandeville.

She was shocked that she was seated at the same table but from the way the King was eying her she could tell why.

Lord Rochester reached for the closest goblet of wine and took a greedy sip before he settled his hand upon his belly.

Alexandra watched as he winced but he turned to converse with the King nonetheless.

"How are the rehearsals going, Johnny? From what I read the play will be exquisite. The perfect piece of writing prose we can show to the French. I have faith in you to finish with the preparations before the deadline." The King said as he shot a glance at Alexandra who was sitting stiffly in her seat.

"Have no worries, Sire. Everything will be perfect. Rest assured." The Earl said before he turned away with a grin which was quickly shadowed by a wince.

Alexandra noticed and surreptitiously placed a hand above his on his lower belly. He stiffened but then his fingers turned under her hand and gripped hers tightly.

"My Lord, perhaps it is not wise to drink-…" she started but she was cut off.

"Come, come! We must be jolly." The King exclaimed, "John, perhaps it is time for a Volta? Or perhaps you'd be willing to try the Weller with your muse. Is she any good at it?" he asked and the Earl's lips twitched into a secretive smirk.

"Oh, Sire. She's good at everything but perhaps I am not the best partner right now."

"Viscount! Care to do the honors?" the King suggested but the Earl's hand tightened around Alexandra's fingers.

"If Lord Rochester releases her from his clutches." Montagu pointed out good naturally and Rochester released her as if burned.

"Most certainly." He gave a faint smile that looked more like a grimace and then a hand appeared in front of Alexandra.

She hesitated before she accepted it. The man led her among the various couples and the hundreds of candle lights upon the chandeliers made her dizzy for a moment.

"How do you find the Court, madam?" Montagu asked her pleasantly and she took a deep breath.

"Overwhelming." She replied hesitantly.

"Where do you reside, if I may be so bold?"

At that she paused, "Sir, I am in Lord Rochester's household." She murmured uncomfortably as he twirled her once.

"Is that so?" he seemed surprised and he even paused for a moment. Didn't he know that he had been dancing with a servant?

"No reason to flush, madam. There are women among us who shouldn't even step into a brothel, if you'll excuse my language." He pointed out and she chuckled a bit before she looked up at him.

"But you would, so if you don't mind." The Earl's voice called from behind them and Montagu stopped dancing and regarded Rochester keenly.

"I don't." he released Alexandra as clinically as he had been dancing with her and stepped back.

"Good. Because you've been butchering up the Weller, my friend. Inappropriate for the King's Court." The Earl grinned as he twirled Alexandra around once and then pulled her tightly to his chest.

Montagu chuckled and then walked away.

"I thought you didn't want to dance, my Lord." Alexandra pointed out as he twirled them around a little more sharply than necessary.

"Shut it. The King's eyeing you like a pot of honey. It's even more disgusting than his abnormally long nose." He snapped into her ear and she almost laughed but then he groaned and leaned heavily against her.

"My Lord?" she murmured as she eyed the side of his face.

"Fuck." He hissed as he clutched at his side, "I need the washroom." He breathed out hoarsely and she looked around.

"Show me where." She whispered but they hadn't even taken a few steps forward before he groaned and stumbled. She managed to grab him but he fell on his knees next to her.

"My God!" she exclaimed and few people stopped and gazed at them curiously.

He squeezed his eyes tightly shut and doubled over. Alexandra's eyes flashed with alarm and shock when he emptied the contents of his stomach onto the ground and groaned in pain.

"My Lord? Are you alright?" She clutched at his arm but it was useless because a moment later he collapsed onto the ground in a heap of expensively clothed limbs. Alexandra screamed.

**End of chapter 18**

**Author's note: Thank you for reading. Sorry for the cliffy but I hope you liked it nonetheless.**

**Some info: Lady Castlemaine was King Charles' most notorious mistress. Her name was Barbara Palmer and she was the 1****st**** Duchess of Cleveland. The mutual dislike between her and Rochester was known and it is said that she slapped him once so hard that he fell to the ground. (A special thank you to Dionne dance for all the new info she sent my way!)**

**Also Robert Montagu was Gentleman of the Bedchamber along with Rochester during Charles' II reign. I did not make that up.**

**And the Earl repeatedly suffered from kidney stones, so I did not make that up either. I am doing my research. ;o)**

**Please review before you go! It's my only payment and I have to know if you like it.**

**And if you haven't check out my other Libertine story, do so.**

**Xxx Lina :o)**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Welcome back! I am so glad you all seemed to enjoy the last chapter. A heartfelt thank you to: PrincessKanako, MissMisc3, PilferAndLove, Lurid Amaranthine, nuckythompson, Leyshla Gisel, xoangelwingxo, 88dragon06, xBelekinax, Jay D. Moore, XantheXV, Gary the Snail x3, CharlieCats, PGAEmma, dionne dance, whatcatydidnext, ForeverACharmedOne, music is life 99 xxx, TinkerbellxO and Makrciana. Thank you all for being helpful with your comments. That's all I ask for.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 19**

_**At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.**_

_**~Plato **_

Alexandra groaned as the carriage shook heavily again and she tried hard not to slide off the seat and land in a heap of tangled limbs and skirts. Suddenly, the Earl, whom she had thought to be asleep, raised his hand and slapped the carriage side hard, startling her.

"Go slower! Stop this infernal rocking at once or-…" he was cut off by another wave of nausea and clamped his hand over his mouth.

Alexandra sighed and placed a hand against the side of his head, pulling him back down on her chest before she leaned back.

"It's not his fault the road is awful, my Lord." She murmured and he glared at her before he pulled his hand away from his mouth.

"Give me something to drink. My mouth tastes like a chamber pot." He muttered instead and she quickly reached for the flask of water the doctor at the palace had provided them with.

He took it from her hand and raised it to his lips before he grimaced.

"Water."

"What else?" she snapped and he looked up at her murderously before he lowered his head back down on her breast.

"Wait till we get to Woodstock." He grumbled.

"Indeed. Wait till we get there so you can drink lots of water and tea." She said as she gazed out of the coach's window.

"Be glad I cannot move much right now." He said lowly but he allowed her to place her hand on the side of his head to keep him close all the same.

"My Lord, if you weren't incapable to do so, I wouldn't be speaking." She announced and he snorted. He shifted against her and placed his hand on his lower belly before he groaned.

"Bloody hell." He squeezed his eyes tightly shut and gritted his teeth before he pressed his cheek hard against her collarbone.

"We can stop if you wish." Alexandra suggested and he shook his head.

"You don't stop a carriage at night. Especially on your way to the country." He hissed as he glared at her.

She placed her palm against his forehead and frowned, "What if you need to-…"

"Then I shall wait to take my piss in my house and in _my_ chamber pot. Now shut it. I already have a headache." He said with finality and she sighed before she reached up and placed her fingers on his temples.

He looked up at her with a frown, "What are you doing?" he asked her as he swallowed hard against the pain.

"Helping you." She said simply before she started rubbing his temples with just the tips of her fingers. Applying gentle pressure, she started rubbing in circles and after a few moments he exhaled slowly, his features relaxing slightly.

"How do you know how to do that?" he murmured and she blinked.

"My mother did it for me when was I was little." She whispered.

"When you had headaches?" he asked as he closed his eyes.

"No, when I was afraid." She shook her head and he opened one eye to look at her.

"You think I hurt because I am afraid?" he murmured and she shrugged.

"Everyone is afraid of something, my Lord." She replied quietly, her fingers never ceasing their gentle pressure.

"Tell me something I don't know. But, my little saint, I am not afraid of pain." He murmured as he turned and nuzzled his nose against the top of her breast.

Alexandra paused and looked down at him, "Then what are you afraid of, my Lord?" she murmured and he paused, a scowl on his face.

"What all men fear."

She faltered and pushed a lock of his hair behind his ear before she resumed her tending, "And what is that?"

"Abandonment. Fear of having to die alone." He said as he gazed outside of the window, his eyes stormy, "My disposition doesn't allow me to have a lot of companions. Surely, you know that."

"You could change that, my Lord."

"I cannot. For I was born and this is what I am." He snapped and she bit her lip.

"Then perhaps-…"

"Have you ever been to Russia?" he cut her off sharply and her eyes widened. He had never asked her personal questions that had to do with her family.

"No." she shook her head, "So you know I am from Russia…well, I am half Russian." She muttered and he groaned as he shifted a bit and looked up at her.

"Of course, I do. Stravinsky."

"Oh, I didn't think you knew."

He actually chuckled, albeit a bit hoarsely, "You don't know a lot, Alex. Nevertheless, it's understandable. Which part?" he asked and she gulped.

"Samara." She replied and he cocked an eyebrow.

"Let me guess. Your father was a pirate." He winked and she actually laughed. He smirked.

"Um…not really. My mother never mentioned something like that. But why do you say that?" she asked curiously, shocked that he was actually talking with her.

The Earl laid his head back down on her bosom and smirked again before he replied, "Because I think it possible for him to have pillaged you out of a treasure chest. Why, you have two jewels for eyes." He murmured as he locked eyes with her.

Alexandra flushed and a small smile appeared on her lips. He grinned crookedly and despite his physical pain he leaned up to place a warm openmouthed kiss to her smiling lips. She didn't have the time to respond because as quickly as he had captured her mouth he released it and groaned softly.

"Hell." He muttered and she placed her own hand on top of his own on his belly. He entwined his fingers with her and sighed, "So, how did you find the King?" he asked with a scowl.

Alexandra grimaced, "I cannot say…He seemed rather…"

"Superfluous?" he cocked an eyebrow and she fought hard against a smile.

"He's our monarch. He deserves respect." She said instead.

"Respect is earned." He informed her with a scowl.

"I agree, my Lord." She nodded, "But for us to survive, a little pretending won't hurt."

He looked up at her with appraisal, "Ah, a woman of my own heart." He smirked, "And how did you find the Viscount?" he asked as he averted his gaze.

Alexandra blinked, "Tolerable."

"Indeed. He exceeds in pretence, I assure you." He drawled and Alexandra frowned.

"He knew about me." She noted.

"He guessed." The Earl corrected, "Gossip is widely circulated at Court, Alexandra. You need to get used to it."

The carriage jolted them both and he growled but before he could complain again Alexandra spoke up.

"I hate gossip." She muttered.

"A surprising feat in a woman." He remarked and she chuckled.

They passed the next minutes in silence until he spoke, "Tell me," he started and she looked down at him softly.

"My Lord?" she murmured quietly as she brushed some hair away from his forehead.

"Those tears I saw when I woke up," he started and a flush started creeping up her cheeks, "Were they real?" his gaze focused on her eyes, searching for any sort of dishonesty in them.

Alexandra wasn't sure how she ought to respond to that. After a moment's of consideration she chose to tell the truth.

"More than just real." She brushed her fingers over his forehead, "It's not everyday that I see my Lord crumbling to the ground."

His hand shot out and grasped her wrist, "Your Lord?" he murmured as he eyed her lips, "You are laying a claim on me then?"

Alexandra swallowed thickly and trailed her fingers down his feverish cheek, "I am only endeavoring to try and do so for I am not the only one, I suppose."

Lord Rochester eyed her with scorching eyes, "My dear, I fear your claim is the only one that-…" his words were cut off by his scream of pain.

Alexandra jumped and when the coach lurched and shook she decided to speak to the driver.

"Stop the carriage, please!"

The coach came to abrupt stop and the Earl snarled, "I told you not to-…Fuck!" he groaned as he threw his head back against her shoulder and squeezed his eyes shut.

"You need to let it out. Now." She told him and when she made to move away and help him with his breeches he clasped her hand in his.

"No."

"But-…"

"I am not some diseased fool who will piss his breeches and his bloody carriage."

"Fine. Mathew-…" she started and his nails bit into her skin.

"Alexandra!"

She glared at him, "You want to be freed of the pain or not? Mathew, will you help?" she pulled her head out of the coach window.

"We shouldn't be stopping now. It's very dark and thieves-…"

"Mathew, the Earl needs help-…"

"Shut it. Both of you." Lord Rochester sat up and grasped the carriage side before he balanced himself with her help, "Help me out." He commanded her and she nodded.

With her help, he got out of the carriage and when they were near the woods he balanced himself against a tree and turned to her.

"Get me my handkerchief. It's in my coat's inner pocket. Be quick."

She nodded and hurried back towards the coach but Mathew, the driver, was nowhere to be seen.

"Mathew?" she called but in the dark she couldn't see beyond her own shadow and the trees' haunting figures. Thinking that the driver was probably off for some relief, she shrugged and stepped next to the coach's entrance.

Feeling a bit odd all of a sudden, she leaned in and started groping at the Earl's coat for his handkerchief. When she had it clasped in her hand she let out a triumphant yelp and got out of the carriage. She turned and made to step around but suddenly a hand clamped her mouth shut. She gasped and started squirming but the hold of her capturer was strong and unyielding. The hand around her mouth smelled of smoke and dirt and her eyes widened.

"Not a sound, lass." The voice was hoarse and the man's breath reeked of decay. She wanted to gag.

"Whose carriage is this? But oh, look. No driver…and a young lassie in fancy clothing." The man's hand roamed her side and she stepped onto his foot hard. He retaliated by thrusting a knife under her chin.

"Not a good idea." He warned, "But I appreciate the effort. You posh women always have a fire in you." He murmured almost gleefully and she shook her head.

"Now, let's see what's in there." He leaned in with her and grasped around for anything that he could steal. His hand curled around the Earl's coat and he laughed quietly.

"Fancy. Where's your husband, dearie? Out for a piss?"

Alexandra wiggled in his grasp and when his hand cupped her breast through her dress she screeched but it was stifled by his dirty palm.

"Alexandra! Did you get lost? For fuck's sake!" the Earl's voice rang in the distance and she could hear the impatience and pain in it.

The thief paused and snorted, "Ah, there he is. And what a name that is. Alexandra. A Russian wench, aye? I don't think your man would be opposed in you and me having some…joy together, eh? But first, let's see if you have anything of value."

And with that his hand dropped the Earl's coat and started roaming her form for any kind of jewelry instead. Her eyes widened in alarm. He'd notice her earrings.

Taking a deep breath through her nose and cursing at the driver's idiocy for wandering off, she aimed her elbow and thrust it towards him; hard. He let out a yelp and stumbled but his hold didn't loosen. She had gotten him in his side. That was not what she was aiming for.

"You bitch!" he hissed and with a mighty yank he pulled her off her feet and turned her around. He slammed her hard against the carriage until she saw stars and when she opened her eyes she saw him. Rounded face and dirty, and he was slightly bald. She opened her mouth to scream but he covered it with his hand again, silencing her. She tried to tilt her head away and then she realized her mistake. His eyes were immediately drawn to the tiny emerald stones on her ears. The moonlight had caused them to glimmer brightly.

_Oh God._

She started panicking. She didn't know why that bothered her more than the fact that she was about to be killed or worse, raped.

Where was the bloody driver? And why couldn't she hear the Earl barking at her to make haste? Was he alright?

"What are these, eh? Nice." He grinned grotesquely and in the attempt to pull her head back she slammed it hard against the carriage.

"Oh, want me to kiss it better?" he purred as he started leaning in.

Alexandra yelped but before she could kick out at him again, he thrust a knee between her legs, effectively keeping her trapped. A tear of fear and anger slipped from her eye and trailed down her cheek and he snickered, his foul breath fanning over her face and making her sick.

"Or lick it better?" he breathed and just as his mouth brushed her cheek she squeezed her eyes shut and whimpered.

"I dare you to try." A familiar voice drawled and then there was a sharp noise, like a blade cutting through the air and then silence.

An undignified yelp escaped her attacker's throat and her eyes snapped open in shock. He doubled over and clutched at his thigh.

"Touch her again and I'll make sure you lose a limb next time." The Earl's voice came from behind the man's form and Alexandra looked at him from over his shoulder. He was leaning heavily against a tree with his shirt half tucked inside his breeches. A snarl was twisting his face up and his hair was ruffled from the wind.

The man holding her loosened his hold and brought his hand up to his face. It was covered in blood from his thigh and he snarled before he whirled around to face the Earl. As he did so, Alexandra saw the knife that was thrust in his leg. Her eyes widened.

"Who the hell are you?" the thief's voice quivered a bit.

"That, sir, is _my_ question." Lord Rochester started approaching and then the man stumbled in his attempt to grab hold of Alexandra.

Before he had the chance to do so, she raised her knee and hit him square in the crotch. He moaned and staggered backwards with wide eyes before he eyed the coat that he had dropped earlier with greed. In a last attempt to gain something, he made to grab it but the Earl was quicker. Another small pocket knife was thrust in his hand as he made to grab at the expensive material and he yelped again. Alexandra would have laughed if she hadn't been so shaken by the whole incident.

With wide eyes and while sputtering like a fish, the man turned and half crawled, half ran away from them and the carriage.

Alexandra wiped at the stray tear that had almost gone dry by then and then hurried over to the Earl. His hand curled around her shoulder when she was close and he leaned against her with a groan.

"Thank you." She whispered and he glared at her.

"Why didn't you scream?" he snapped and she blinked rapidly.

"He-…"

"Ready to leave?" Mathew, the driver, appeared while righting his belt and the Earl turned his eyes on him. He pushed Alexandra away and stormed towards the driver as quickly as his condition allowed him to. Once he was close, he grasped the man by the lapels of his coat and shook him harshly.

"If you neglect your duties to take a piss again, I will cut your prick off myself. Do you understand?" his voice shook with fury and the driver nodded quickly.

"I am so sorry, my Lord. Did something happen-…"

"Shut your mouth, you idiot! Take us to Woodstock immediately. If daylight arrives and we're not there, prepare to become a eunuch." He let go of the man with a snarl and swiftly entered the carriage while cursing to himself.

Alexandra blinked out of her shock and ran up to them. She looked at the driver helplessly and a bit accusingly before she grabbed the discarded coat and got in the coach beside the Earl.

Once the carriage was on its way to Woodstock again, Alexandra tentatively reached out and grasped Rochester's hand. He allowed it but after a few seconds he tugged his hand free and clicked his tongue.

"Don't touch me right now." He hissed at her as he clutched at his belly and she gulped.

"What did I do?" she whispered but he ignored her and stared out of the window instead with pursed lips.

Alexandra hugged her abdomen and gazed at her lap for the whole trip back to Woodstock.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Alcock was in the process of filling the Earl's goblet with wine when Alexandra entered the washroom with towels and a washing cloth in her hands. As soon as she saw the scene, she gritted her teeth and after she had deposited the towels in a nearby chair she stormed over to them and plucked the wine bottle from the other servant's hand.

Alcock startled and eyed her with a frown, "Alex? What are you doing?"

"Indeed. What are you doing, woman?" the Earl snarled as he eyed her and brought the goblet to his lips.

"The horses need to be fed, Alcock. I will take care of our Lord." Alexandra said with a forced smile and Alcock gazed at his master for permission to leave.

The Earl waved his hand dismissively at him and when Alcock was gone, Alexandra placed the bottle on the floor and looked at Lord Rochester with narrowed eyes.

"What are you doing? You have a fever."

"True." The Earl nodded and emphatically took a sip before he continued, "I am doing what the good doctor suggested for my case of kidney stones."

"And what is that?"

"Drinking lots of fluids. To our health." He raised his glass at her but before he could take another sip she knocked the glass out of his hand. It landed near the door.

Lord Rochester set his jaw and looked up at her murderously, "Why did you do that for? You wasted expensive wine-…"

"It's the cheapest in the county because we cannot afford a better quality. It's poison." She cut him off. What was his problem? Why was he looking at her like she had done something wrong?

The Earl snickered, "Indeed. Have no fears. With my new commission we shall buy some of the best in London-…"

"The doctor said fluids as in water, juice and tea. Alcohol will not help lessen the fever." She stated as she picked up the bar of soap and started lathering the washing cloth with it.

Lord Rochester eyed her with interest, "Your incessant nagging won't either." He deadpanned and she paused.

She lowered her hands by her sides and eyed him coolly, "Is this the man who is afraid of abandonment? Because I find that an escape is the easiest solution to deal with you, my Lord. Forgive the cheek, but you don't make it easy for others to like you." She informed him in a strong voice that almost faltered by the end of her speech.

"Is this the way to speak to the man who rescued you? Or perhaps, the idea of rape is rather amusing to you-…"

"I already thanked you! What did I do?" she threw her hands up in the air and the Earl rose from the tub, naked and all and grasped her hair in a death grip.

"You did not scream. When we are in peril we scream. And we do not wander off." He let go of her and lowered himself back in the water with a splash, "Now shut your mouth and wash me. I am tired." He said curtly as he leaned his head against his hand and rubbed his temples.

Alexandra blinked. So he was angry because she had been in danger? Then why was he so cross? It wasn't her fault thieves and rogues existed.

Feeling a little bit better at his admittance that he had been worried about her, she kneeled next to him and started washing his arms.

"Then we are even, my Lord." She said softly.

"What do you mean?" he asked her impatiently as she rubbed the sweat off on the underside of his forearm.

"I am worried all the time. Especially when you insist on drinking that-…"

"Silence." He cut her off, "Don't go romantic on me, Alexandra. I merely do not like the idea of you playing the damsel in distress. It's pathetic."

He turned away from her with that stubborn purse of the mouth still in place and she cocked an eyebrow.

"I apologize." She whispered and then, "May I ask a question?"

He hesitated but rolled his eyes before he nodded.

"How your Lordship knew how to throw the knife with such precision?" she asked curiously.

Rochester hesitated before he replied, "War tends to force you to learn new tricks, Alexandra."

Her eyes lit up, "Oh, yes. Against the Dutch, is my assumption right?" she asked as she placed the washing cloth under his neck and pulled it down his chest in long languid movements.

"Indeed." He looked beyond the relatively small window of the washroom, "The transition into manhood is sometimes…a difficult task." He said and then shook his head, "No matter. I could have hit him in the heart but I didn't want to add murder into my growing list of escapades." He smirked as she washed his navel.

"Dreadful thing…" she murmured and then looked up at him, "The war." She rubbed the washcloth down his thighs and shrugged, "But perhaps it shows what people really are."

His hand grasped her wrist, "Who people really are, sweet." He breathed, "And I already know what they are. Beasts." He led her hand between his legs and smirked when she flushed.

"You have written a line about that." She noted and he cocked an eyebrow in surprise.

"Indeed. Do you mind reminding me what I wrote?" his fingers squeezed her fingers which held the washing cloth but when her hand brushed against him she slapped his hand away and continued washing his legs.

"_Man differs more from man than man from beast_." She said quietly and his soapy fingers got tangled in her hair then.

"I am rather surprised, Alexandra. You actually listen to what I say and remember what I write." He murmured and she looked up at him, "I am proud of you." His fingers grasped her chin and tilted her face up, "So proud of you." His thumb brushed over her lips and she cleared her throat as his eyes burned with a foreign emotion.

"We should finish. The water's getting cold." She murmured as she stepped behind his back and reached out to soak his hair so she could wash it.

The Earl smirked and allowed her to do so by leaning back against the tub, his arms dangling from the edges as she worked on his hair.

"I am thinking of cutting it off." He said suddenly and she paused before her eyes widened. He was talking about his hair.

"What? Impossible." She shook her head and then blushed when he chuckled.

"The last time anyone washed my hair, an offspring was created after the deed." He said randomly.

"Beg pardon?" she asked with wide eyes and he groaned as he moved around a bit.

"Never mind. Get on with it." He closed his eyes and let her rinse his hair.

Alexandra had a suspicion of whom he was talking about; his wife. The thought that in some absurd way he still loved her brought her sadness. Sadness because a woman like Lady Elizabeth deserved much more than the kind of love her husband could offer.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Hand me more parchment." The Earl called as she stood by his bed, holding onto a tray of chamomile. She stifled a sigh and did as he bid her. He took the parchment from her and kept writing his letter. When he was done he sealed it and handed it to her.

"Send it to Adderbury." He murmured quietly, "What's this?" he asked as soon as he saw the letter upon the tray.

She blinked, "It arrived this morning from the King, my Lord."

He made to grasp it but she caught his hand. He looked up at her with a frown.

"What is it?"

She cleared her throat, "You should drink this first, my Lord. I put a few drops of the herbal concoction the doctor gave you. It helps." She said and he rolled his eyes before he impatiently waved his hand towards the cup.

She handed it to him and he took a sip before he coughed, "Horrid." He slammed it on the nightstand, "How many days will you torture me so?" he asked as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Until you are well. Lady Elizabeth sent word. Her instructions were to help you-…"

"Since when the mistress cares for the wife's wishes?" he cut her off, obviously fed up with her coddling.

Alexandra tried not to be offended, "Someone has to care." She said before she turned to walk away.

"Where are you going?" he called impatiently and she smirked to herself. He was all bark and no bite.

"To open the drapes?" she said and she could hear him grumbling in the background.

A knock on the door interrupted the silence.

"Come in." The Earl called before he eagerly went to open the King's letter. He smirked when he saw that there were a few guineas inside. He proceeded to open the letter and the smirk fell off his lips.

"My Lord, a letter from Adderbury has arrived." Alcock announced as he walked in.

"Alexandra, open it and read it for me. I am preoccupied with our monarch." He muttered with a wave of his hand, "He wants a private meeting with us." He looked up at her as she opened the letter from Adderbury, "He's impressed by you…Greedy prick that he is." He muttered and she flushed before she started reading through the lines quickly.

"Tsk, he's insistent. Of course he would be-…"

"My Lord." Alexandra cut him off with a deep frown, "The news are not good." She said quietly and Rochester looked up at her.

"Explain." He told her with slightly narrowed eyes.

"Lady Elizabeth has a high fever. She has fallen into a deep sleep and she hasn't woken up for two days." She whispered with wide eyes, "They think she's got an infection after her-…"

"Enough." The Earl said as he looked at Alcock, "Prepare the carriage." He told him and Alcock quickly nodded.

Lord Rochester looked at her and motioned towards the letter, "Give it to me."

Once he had it in his grasp he eyed her with impatience, "What are you waiting for? You're coming with me."

Alexandra opened her mouth to object but she saw how his lips tightened. She had no other choice than to do as he said.

**End of chapter 19**

**Author's note: Thank you for reading. Feedback is cherished and very much desired!**

**Consider it my graduation present! Yes, I am graduating from Uni tomorrow! ;o)**

**By the way, Samara Bend was a pirate haven in Russia during the 16th century. :p**

**Also, a guinea equals to twenty shillings(One pound). So the King sent quite a bit of money with his letter. ;o)**

**Told you. I am a history nerd! **

**Xxx Lina :D**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Welcome back, darlings! How are you all? Well I hope.**

**I want to thank: 88dragon06, CharliaCats, PilferAndLove, Makrciana, nuckythompson, Jay D. Moore, Gary the Snail x3, Leyshla Gisel, xBelekinax, dionne dance, TinkerbellxO, MissMisc3, XantheXV, ForeverACharmedOne, xoangelwingxo and PGAEmma. You all rock for sticking with me.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 20**

'_**You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they are not.'**_

_**~Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper**_

"Someone open up the windows. Let some air into this room." The Countess spoke up with an expression of displeasure upon her face as soon as she entered Lady Elizabeth's darkened chamber.

Alexandra looked up from the basin of cool water and stared at the woman as she stepped closer to the bed and eyed the woman lying on top of it. Lady Elizabeth's face was pale, her skin sweaty and almost translucent. Her hair was matted against her forehead and neck and her hands were lying on either side of her body motionless. She looked nothing like the vibrant woman Alexandra had seen months ago. She herself had received her last letter to Woodstock and her uneven writing made sense all of a sudden. She had been sick for days but she was more concerned of her husband's health than her own. Alexandra couldn't accuse her of foolishness or lack of judgment. She knew how loving someone felt and it was sad that she'd do the same.

Shaking her head she blinked and replaced the cold compress on top of Lady Rochester's forehead.

"The bedding is drenched. We must change the sheets, my Lady. It's not good for her skin or her health to remain among soaked covers-…'

"And who put you in charge of her well-being?" The Countess cut her off and Alexandra's cheeks flushed with indignation, "Are you the new lady of Adderbury, girl?"

Alexandra tried to keep calm and simply chose to inform her of the situation, "With all due respect, my Lady, there is only one other maid in this house. The other one is sick with fever as well. She is currently making the herbal concoction the physician-…"

The Countess raised her hand, "Do not raise your voice at me, young woman. I am not my son." She warned and Alexandra's eyes widened and her hands fisted her apron.

"My Lady?" she whispered through gritted teeth as the Earl's mother approached her.

"I know all about you and my son's ways. I also know that you have been to court. You and the King…Ludicrous. I am just glad my daughter in law wasn't well during her husband's latest escapade." The Countess hissed and Alexandra's eyes went to the other side of the room where the Earl's young son was standing with his eyes glazed over with tears.

Alexandra looked back at the older woman and bowed her head, "If I may be so bold as to speak my mind, madam…Few people can resist the King's will…and even fewer your son's." she replied quietly and the Countess' eyes narrowed into mere slits.

With a last stare, she stepped back and looked at the bed again, "If you have to change the bedding you need to move her. I shall call the servant boy." She said crisply before she turned to walk out of the room.

Alexandra watched her go and right after the other maid walked in with a small pot in her hands.

Alexandra nodded at her, "We need to change the bedding." She whispered and the other woman put the pot on the nightstand before she turned to fetch new sheets.

Alexandra pulled the covers away and Elizabeth's body immediately started to shake at the change of temperature. Alexandra's breathing hitched as she gazed upon the sick woman. Her awful dream was coming true. Lady Elizabeth looked like the wounded deer she had seen in her sleep…or rather like the ethereal creature with the pale skin who had bled out in the middle of the woods. She shivered.

"For Heaven's sake, remove the child from this room. You, take Charles away immediately." The Earl's voice commanded with a snarl and the other maid abandoned the sheets and took the child's hand in hers.

"I want to stay with mama-…"

"Charles." Rochester's voice was stern, resolute and his son blinked back tears but did as he was told.

Alexandra faltered as she was left alone with him.

"What are you doing?" he asked her quietly, the snarl gone.

"I need to put fresh sheets, my Lord. They're soaked. But I need assistance with Lady Elizabeth. I cannot move her by myself." She said softly and he nodded before he walked to the other side of the bed. His hands reached for Elizabeth's form, but Alexandra gasped.

"My Lord! No, you mustn't. The doctor said it might be contagious. And you shouldn't lift weight in your-…"

"Alexandra!" he cut her off sharply and she closed her mouth at his hard glare, "Shut up." With that, he picked up his wife and stepped back from the bed, "Get on with it." He leaned against a settee by the window and Alexandra gulped before she gathered the sheets in her fists and threw them upon the floor. As she was changing the sheets she heard footsteps and the Countess walked in with the servant body on her heels.

"Come and-…John, what are you doing? The physician said it might not be-…"

"Mother, are you the doctor now? You think touching her will be dangerous? We've been breathing the same air for days now." He said as he looked down at the woman in his arms. Her hand was hanging limply by her side and her head was tilted back at an awkward angle. Alexandra's stomach clenched at the sight of her.

"Go and assist the Earl." The Countess said to the servant who scurried over and held Lady Elizabeth's head in his hands.

Alexandra made quick work of changing the sheets and when she had smoothed the new under sheet over the mattress a small cough alerted her and she looked up. The Countess gasped as Lady Elizabeth opened her eyes. Alexandra smiled but the smile froze on her lips when she realized that the woman's body had started to shake uncontrollably. The Earl's face didn't show it, but a twitch of his body told Alexandra that he was jolted from seeing his wife's eyes open and staring at him; only him. He opened his mouth, but instead of speaking he leaned his forehead against Elizabeth's. But the moment didn't last long because she started wiggling in his arms, her face twisted in what looked like agony.

"Let go of me." She whispered weakly and the Earl's eyes widened minutely.

"Elizabeth-…"

"Put me down." She choked out as she curled her fist and pressed it against her stomach.

Alexandra blinked out of her frozen state and stepped back from the bed, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion at Lady Elizabeth's behavior.

Rochester didn't linger much longer and he placed her upon the bed in a matter of few seconds. Once her head hit the pillow, she curled onto her side and faced away from him.

Alexandra tensed up when the woman's eyes locked with her own. Lady Elizabeth gazed at her peculiarly, but she approached nonetheless.

"My Lady, is there anything you need?" she whispered and the Countess glared at her, but she didn't care.

Lady Elizabeth swallowed hard and nodded, "Clean clothes." She whispered as she averted her gaze and clasped the pillow in her hand.

Alexandra bowed her head and with a nod she hurried over to the closet to find a clean and dry nightdress.

The Earl stared at his wife's back before his gaze found Alexandra's.

"My child, I am so glad you're awake. You gave us quite a fright." The Countess said softly as she took Elizabeth's hand, not fearful of catching any possible illness in the least. Elizabeth's hand tightened around the Countess' and she nodded her head.

Alexandra shut the closet and didn't break the eye contact with the Earl. His eyes looked peculiarly…lost and sad. Her heart clenched, but she made her way towards Lady Elizabeth again.

"I wish to visit my parents." Lady Elizabeth said and unlike other times the Earl didn't speak or move. He just remained frozen on the spot.

"It's too soon. Your fever is still torturing you. You cannot go to Somerset yet-…"

"Please. I have to. I shall take the girls with me."

Alexandra frowned and eyed the Earl who sneered and turned to leave. He slammed the door shut behind him. Alexandra jumped and tightened her hold on the nightdress.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The night had fallen long ago, but only then did Alexandra found the courage to tiptoe out of the servants' quarters. She climbed up the flight of stairs, mindful of her footsteps until she was standing outside the Earl's chamber. Before she had the chance to knock the door burst open and a hand curled around her wrist. She gasped as she was pulled inside the room and then unceremoniously thrust against the wall. Warm, moist lips covered her own parted ones, and her eyes drifted closed reflexively, her hands sliding up, over the robe clad torso and losing themselves into his hair. His hands gripped her waist hard, pressing her against him, but then he was gone from her.

He snarled and turned away from her, her fingers slipping from his hair as he stalked to the fireplace and gazed at the flames.

"Found the courage to come here? I am shocked, little one." He muttered as he ran a hand through his hair.

Alexandra licked her lips and pushed away from the wall before she made her way over to him.

"I couldn't come sooner. I didn't want anyone to see me." She said quietly as she took in his chamber. She had never been in his room at Adderbury. It was filled of books, and various paintings. She had the sneaky suspicion that some were made by him. She wanted to smile, but she could see that it wasn't the time. He was upset.

"I am surprised you even came at all." He told her crisply and she bit her lip.

"You knew I'd come. I bet that you even saw it in my eyes this morning." She replied.

Abruptly, he turned to look at her, his eyes roaming her form.

"A bet? You'd be willing to bet on something so obscure? Unfortunately," he started as he came to stand in front of her, "I don't always know what you're thinking. And whatever I see in your eyes right now, please get rid of it. I am no school boy in need of some petting because I had my feelings hurt." He spat as he brushed by her and sat on the edge of the settee that was in front of the large bed.

Alexandra blinked at the animosity in his voice and she couldn't stop her next words, "I still don't understand why you think it so absurd to think that someone actually would want to take care of you." She blurted out and his eyes found her face, hard and unyielding.

"It's not the concept that makes my skin crawl." He stated harshly, "It's not the gestures that come with it. What kind of man doesn't want to be petted by a woman, or more? What kind of man doesn't want to be able to find peace upon the body and hands of a woman? Only an idiot wouldn't wish for the comfort of a caress."

Alexandra frowned, "Then what is abhorrent to you?" she asked quietly as she came to stand in front of him.

He blinked and gritted his teeth, "Did you see her face when she saw me cradling her?" he asked and she gasped.

"Lady Elizabeth?" she murmured.

"Who else? The look upon her face brought shivers of disgust up and down my spine. It made me want to tear my own hair off. You know why? Because if you are not careful you are going to end up like her. She is the only one who had ever tried to look after me and I broke her. I let people down, Alexandra. That's who I am. Stop looking at me like that. You should have let me choke on my own vomit at the palace." He stood from the settee and stormed up to his window, "I hate this place. It brings nothing but death and disease on people. This infernal humidity, this mud…We are leaving tomorrow. First thing in the morning. Before anyone is awake." He informed her while she stared at him with wide eyes.

"My Lord…Lady Elizabeth is upset-…"

"Why? Do you know why? Can you tell?" he whirled around to face her and she nodded firmly.

"I do."

He snarled at her, "Then pray tell, why did she react the way that she did? I am so curious to know of your theory." He crossed his arms across his chest, his face illuminated by the light of candles and the moonlight.

Alexandra took a deep breath, "You are not the only one who possesses pride, my Lord." She stated simply.

He frowned, "Meaning?"

"Meaning that you only come back when you are in need of something and only when something bad happens. People do not need one's presence during the bad times only…All women scream for attention without provoking it…And even though I see with my own eyes that you love your wife, she is not aware of it. Words on written pages are not enough." She finished and then lowered her head.

There was absolute silence for a while, but she could feel his wicked eyes upon her.

"How are you so sure that I am in love with Elizabeth?" he asked her at last and she looked up.

"It's obvious. If you weren't, you wouldn't have been hurt by her response to your affection." She replied quietly, too quietly.

The Earl pushed away from the window and approached her, his robe swooshing as he walked.

"I love Elizabeth, but I am not _in_ love with her. I haven't been in love with a woman." He murmured and her heart wiggled inside her chest at his admission. The words hurt her, burned her, and made her skin flush for some unknown reason.

"But I am surprised how you can claim that I love her without stuttering. Isn't it painful for a woman to know that the man she at least desires has affection for someone else?" he cocked an eyebrow and she looked him in the eye.

"I knew you were married when I first let you touch me, my Lord. What does that say about me?" she asked him almost angrily.

The shadows left his face at her fiery response and he smirked before he started circling her. His hands came to cradle her shoulders, his fingers getting lost in her loose hair as he did so.

"It speaks of bravery." He murmured as he pressed his face into the back of her hair, "Giving affection to someone who doesn't deserve it speaks of courage." His hands found her naked collarbones and he rubbed the skin there, causing her to shudder.

"Lust is not a crime, Alexandra. Deception is…" he brushed his hands lower until they were gently cupping her breasts and she inhaled sharply, "You've made me change my view towards wenches, you know. I can no longer stand them. Their façade makes me sick." He breathed as he pressed against her from behind.

"I am surprised." She replied with a raised eyebrow and pursed lips, and he let out a small chuckle.

"Still ruffled about that incident, aren't you?" he whispered as the tips of his fingers slipped below the neckline of her cotton nightdress, "Then you know not to anger me, don't you?" he asked and just because she could sense the smirk against the side of her face, she scoffed and turned around to face him.

"A rather petulant way to show your displeasure, my Lord. I am right in my view." She crossed her arms over her chest, effectively blocking any kind of touching from his part. His eyes stared at her chest for a moment before he snarled angrily.

"What view is that?" he asked her as he looked at her face.

"You are no better than your son, my Lord. Petulant, immature and insistent. Not charming qualities." She replied with irk.

He scowled, "You forgot cruel."

"You are not cruel…Although some might claim otherwise." She responded immediately. His eyes flashed and he opened his mouth to speak, but he chose not to. Instead, he turned away from her and looked at his messy desk.

"I need a fucking drink." He muttered and she frowned.

"You're not allowed to drink."

He whirled around to face her, "And who will stop me? You?" he narrowed his eyes. So that was why he was so upset. He was suffering from lack of alcohol.

"The physician said no alcohol. I am only following his orders. After all, who am I to command you, my Lord?" she murmured and he stared at her intently, his eyes searching for something before he let his body drop unceremoniously upon his bed.

Alexandra watched him as he pushed the covers away with irritation and laid his head on one of the many pillows.

She remained where she was, not moving and his eyes searched for her after a while. She almost smiled when he rolled his eyes and beckoned her over. She almost went to him, but stopped herself in time.

"I cannot. Not here." She said softly and he gazed at her uncomprehendingly.

"No one will know." He reasoned almost furiously.

"It doesn't make a difference." She shook her head.

"What if I ordered you to?" he cocked an eyebrow in challenge and she gritted her teeth.

"If you had any reason left in you, you wouldn't."

"And what if my reason has been overpowered by my need? Hmm? What then, wise Alexandra?" he asked her challengingly.

She sighed and shook her head, "Just for two hours. Then I have to gather your things…" She said softly and he rolled his eyes, his scowl proof that he didn't enjoy her ordering about, but he tolerated it nonetheless.

She sat down next to him on the bed and he rolled over, his head finding its appropriate pillow upon her lap.

"We have the meeting with the King in two days…Private dinner. You will finally be able to wear that ghastly dress you chose the last time." He scowled as he made himself comfortable against her. His hand came to rest on her thigh which he rubbed slowly, his fingers firm and persistent against her skin.

"I don't want to go…Especially now." She whispered as fear clutched at her heart and insides.

He looked up at her, "I won't let him touch you. I will cut off his disgusting, greedy hands if he dares to." He closed his eyes as he settled back down on her lap, "My woman won't be a wench to the King." He muttered as he sighed and tightened his hold around her.

Alexandra gazed down at him and released a shaky breath. She reached out and ran her fingers through his hair, her nails gently scratching at his scalp and he groaned softly.

"Don't stop." He murmured and she smiled a bit, before she brought both hands in his hair and massaged his scalp gently. When one of her hands slipped to his neck to rub at the tension there, he shifted closer to her so his hip was pressing against her knee and hissed.

"Have you ever thought of becoming a healer?" he looked up at her for a moment and then closed his eyes again, "You'd make quite a few guineas if you put yourself to it." He muttered.

She chuckled, "Unfortunately, my Lord, I only give my attentions to those I like."

He smirked without opening his eyes, "May I assume that you like me?" he asked her tiredly.

Alexandra only just then realized that his ego needed to be stroked.

"I suppose I do."

"Now that's an achievement…How am I going to be compensated for my extreme efforts of becoming endearing into your beloved eyes?" he asked her sleepily and she smiled but remained silent.

He was asleep seconds after he had uttered his unanswered question.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

As she stepped outside his chamber to fetch his clean clothes from the washroom, she noticed a small figure standing in the middle of the hall. She squinted and brought the candle forth. She gasped.

"Master Charles? What are you doing up?" she asked quietly as she rushed over to the child and without thinking picked him up because he was barefoot.

"Mama's door is locked…I couldn't sleep." He replied and she swallowed hard.

"Want me to put you back to bed?" she asked as she pushed his blond locks away form his forehead, but his eyes were fixated on the door behind her.

Stifling a sigh and while biting her lip, she turned and headed back inside the Earl's room. Without making too much noise, she stepped towards the bed where a slumbering Rochester lay and gently put Charles on top of it.

The little boy beamed in the dim light and rushed to lie down next to his father, his tiny feet pushing under the covers until they found his father's warmth.

The Earl groaned and opened one eye, "What the f-…" he cut himself short when he noticed the child and his eyes snapped up to Alexandra who shrugged and stepped back. He looked at the small boy who was staring at him, and without a word he sighed and curled an arm around Charles' form.

Alexandra smirked as she walked out of the chamber.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_Two days later…_

"So, what happened?" Alcock asked as he chewed on a piece of dry bread, his expression eager.

"Nothing…Lady Elizabeth woke up…and she just wanted to leave." Alexandra replied quietly as she ironed her fancy dress with care.

"Was she not sick?" Alcock scratched his chin.

"She was…But she didn't want to stay at Adderbury." She whispered and then frowned, "Why do you want to know?"

"I like to gossip." He grinned foolishly and she snorted, "What? I got nothing better to do with me time. The Earl's locked himself up in his study all morning, doing God knows what."

She bit her lip at that, "Probably conjuring up an escape plan for tonight…"

"Oh, right!" Alcock laughed loudly, "Got to visit the King again…How is he from up-close?" he asked her and she rolled her eyes.

"Fake…"

"Oh…"

"He has a rather large nose…and his voice is a bit flimsy." She added and he scowled.

"He's got a lot of mistresses though." He pointed out.

"Of course he does. He is the King."

"And he wants to have as many children as he can." The Earl spoke up as he entered with a long waistcoat in his hands. His eyes fell on Alexandra, "Our Queen hasn't granted him with any heirs. Neither sons nor children of the softer sex. Tragic really." he smirked as Alexandra took the waistcoat and glared at him.

"Perhaps you should offer to help her, me Lord." Alcock spoke up with a grin and the Earl slapped the back of his head in retaliation.

"Ow!"

"Watch your tongue, maggot. I haven't forgotten how you left Adderbury so you can come here and gorge yourself to death in my kitchen." He hissed and Alexandra smiled a little.

"Me Lord!" Alcock gasped in indignation.

"Shut it." Rochester narrowed his eyes.

"I don't understand the expression _softer sex_. I would like to see a man give birth to a child." Alexandra pointed out and the Earl's eyes snapped up to her, "Or endure _every_ month a few days of bleeding. They would be tired just by thinking about it." She continued with firmness.

Alcock blinked, "I'd like to be a woman. It'd be easier -…"

"Not to have a useless prick?" The Earl finished for him and Alcock cleared his throat.

"I wouldn't say useless. I just haven't found the right lady." He said and Rochester smirked as he turned his attention back to Alexandra.

"And I'd like to see a woman walking around with a constant erection. That'd be an image to behold… Quite an entertaining thought really." He crossed his arms over his chest as Alexandra flushed.

"That is quite inappropriate, my Lord." She pointed out.

"You started the conversation." He fired back.

"You called women the softer sex! Huh! That's just ridiculous." She scoffed.

"Having a man be with child is ridiculous." Alcock cut in and Alexandra shrugged.

"You would fail." She insisted and Rochester grinned.

"Most certainly." He murmured and she looked at him with surprise.

He smirked crookedly, "Get some sleep after you're done here. You have dark circles under your eyes." He told her and then walked away.

Alexandra shook her head in amusement while Alcock took it upon himself to start listing the reasons why men couldn't carry a child for nine months.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Alexandra stirred and groaned softly when warm hands grasped a firm hold of her thighs and pulled her forward in one sharp move. Her brows furrowed together in confusion, but the sleep was still holding her in its warm, comforting embrace. Therefore, not leaving her much room to clear her mind of the foggy mist that had fallen upon it.

She didn't know how long she had been sleeping. She just knew that she needed it. Her limbs felt heavy and she felt slightly…cold.

Warm air fanned over her inner thigh and she was suddenly very much aware of the fingers digging into her skin. With a start, she opened her eyes and found him nestled between her legs, his mouth a breath away from the apex of her thighs. She stiffened.

"Is it time to get ready?" she whispered and he cocked his head to the side before he turned his head and placed a wet openmouthed kiss against her inner thigh. She exhaled shakily as one of his hands ventured between her legs and beneath her undergarments.

"I fear…" he murmured as he trailed his lips up her thigh, "That it is." His tongue laved at her hip for a moment before he moved up her body so he was face to face with her, "But first…" he smirked a little as his fingers circled her flesh teasingly, causing her to slam her thighs shut, trapping his hand between them, "You need to calm down." His lips trapped her bottom lip as two of his fingers rubbed at just the right spot. She gasped and kissed him back, her hands on his shoulders as he tended to her with his hand and mouth. A low rumble vibrated deep in his throat as she deepened the kiss and he hissed when her teeth caught his top lip and nipped at it. He broke away to watch her face as his fingers moved faster, dropping their teasing rhythm for something that would make her groan and shake underneath him. Her hand grasped his wrist as she pressed his hand harder against her and he chuckled, his voice hoarse as he let his chest fall on top of hers. Her fingers dug in the tender skin of his wrist and she fisted his shirt with her free hand, her lips parted and panting as she gazed up at him with hooded eyes.

Locks of his hair were falling over his cheeks, brushing the skin of her face and ears and she shivered, her teeth sinking onto her bottom lip as she fought hard to stop her groan.

"You missed me." He pointed out with amusement and she gasped as she felt the knot in her lower belly getting tighter and tighter. Her thighs trembled and her breath was fast and uneven. She could feel her skin, her face, even her ears, flushing with both desire and embarrassment and he grinned as he doubled his efforts, pushing his hand harder against her, caressing her with just the right amount of force.

"Of course you did." He murmured and she was thrilled to hear the breathlessness in his own voice. He turned his body, shifted until his hips were pressing firmly against her thigh. He slipped a knee between her legs and hooked it over her calf, forcing her to part her thighs so he could touch her differently, his fingers now finding that spot deep inside her that had her panting for breath.

Alexandra gasped and squeezed her eyes shut. Black dots appeared behind her closed eyelids from the strain and when he rubbed the proof of his own arousal against her thigh she whimpered and clutched at his shoulders.

He moaned hoarsely, a sound she rarely heard from him, and ground his hips against her, forcing her to feel his solid length against her skin.

Alexandra opened her eyes and cupped his cheek, her fingers slowly threading in his brown strands as she pressed her thigh against him, causing his eyes to widen a little in surprise. He smirked, his tongue briefly darting out to moisten his lips, before he leaned down and kissed her. She parted her lips for him and he didn't waste time to accept the invitation with his lips and tongue. As she kissed him, she noticed something peculiar. His touches had become uneven, almost distracted and she opened her eyes a bit so she could lead her hand to the front of his breeches. He jerked at the first touch but then his hand shot out and grasped her fingers, squeezing them roughly as he tore his mouth away.

"Not today." He murmured hoarsely and with a last twist and thrust of his fingers she groaned and threw her head back. Her breathing turned labored as she tried to calm her racing heartbeat and all the while he held her fingers in his hand, his eyes not leaving her face as she opened her eyes and looked at him.

"John." She murmured and his face twitched for a moment at the sound of his name, his eyes flashing with an emotion that was too difficult to comprehend in her dazed haze. Suddenly, she regretted saying his name… Why did she? She had never done so before. She had never broken that wall of hierarchy between them. Calling him by his actual name was too intimate for him perhaps…But she needed to say it at least once.

Slowly, he pulled his hand away from her undergarments and teasingly trailed them up her belly and stomach before he leaned down to kiss her again. She breathed a relieved sigh into his mouth. He wasn't mad at her. Her breathing returned to her.

He groaned as he pulled away and smirked as he sucked a single finger in his mouth. He grinned down at her flushed face and pulled his finger from his mouth with a wet pop before he rolled away from her.

"Wash up, get dressed and come to my study. We need to leave in an hour." He called before he exited her room. He gently shut the door behind him.

Alexandra sat up and looked at the dress that was waiting for her, mocking her by her closet.

She swallowed hard because now she knew why he had decided to come to her room just before it was time to get ready. He wanted to ensure that she was his…He had wanted to assure himself. And he had succeeded.

**End of chapter 20**

**Author's note: Thank you so much for reading. I hope you liked it. In the next chapter we shall see how the private dinner with the King goes…And we will see what happens with Lady Rochester…Ahem.**

**Please review before you go…I really need your feedback because lots of things are ahead of our dear, albeit odd, couple. I promise!**

**So, review?**

**Xxx Lina ;o)**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Welcome back, loves! A huge thank you to: CharlieCats, Makrciana, ForeverACharmedOne, PilferAndLove, nuckythompson, MissMisc3, dionne dance, TinkerbellxO, Leyshla Gisel, PGAEmma, XantheXV, xoangelwingxo, ElleWillBite and whatcatydidnext. Thank you all for your support. I squeal like a little girl every time I see your comments!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 21**

'_**Were I a spirit free, to choose for my own share what sort of flesh and blood I pleas'd to wear,**_

_**I'd be a dog, a monkey or a bear,**_

_**Or any thing but that vain animal **_

_**Who is so proud of being rational.'**_

_**~John Wilmot**_

"How are the rehearsals going, Johnny?" The King's voice was loud in Alexandra's ears, but maybe it wasn't that loud. Maybe it was her anxiety that was making everything more pronounced. She was sitting rigidly in her seat, her corseted back straight up, just as the Earl had instructed. The large dining hall at Hampton Court was reserved only for four; the King, his royal mistress Lady Castlemaine, the Earl and herself.

"Quite well, your Majesty." Rochester replied as he sat in his chair with his legs parted. Alexandra eyed him and almost frowned at his posture. How one earth could he be so relaxed? With his fingers wrapped around his glass of wine, he looked like he was at his own home and not at court. It seemed like the King's presence did not bother him. Probably because he did not find him intimidating. It was quite obvious that behind his façade, Lord Rochester did not have even an ounce of respect for the monarch.

The purse of his mouth told her that he rather enjoyed the lavish atmosphere. The vast selection of food, the silverware and the expensive linens that were draped over the long table were almost blinding. Their eyes locked for a moment and he motioned towards her food which had remained untouched. She looked away and picked up her fork.

"Have you found the actors?" The King questioned and Alexandra paused at that, the roasted potato half-way to her mouth.

The Earl leaned forward and smirked, "Have no worries, Shire. Everything is under control." He murmured and Alexandra gazed at him sideways.

"Are you keeping secrets from me, Johnny?" Charles asked and then looked at Alexandra, "Is she the protagonist? Have you decided to make her an actress?"

He sounded oddly excited about the idea. Alexandra's heart dropped to her stomach.

"No, your Majesty." The Earl replied smoothly, "My muse shall not be soiled with the stage."

Alexandra wanted to snort at that.

"You mean to say that she has remained unsoiled in your hands, my Lord?" Lady Castlemaine asked, speaking for the first time since they had been seated.

Alexandra looked at the other woman, but Lady Castlemaine was focused on the Earl. He smirked, "It depends on what you mean by unsoiled, madam." He leaned back in his seat again and downed his drink in one go.

"I am just trying to show that her reputation wouldn't suffer less if she were away from the playhouse, my Lord. After all, such beauty should be flaunted, don't you think?" Lady Castlemaine continued and the King looked rather interested at the conversation.

"No, madam. Some of them must be treasured." Rochester replied and Lady Castlemaine's lip curled.

"Like you treasure your wife, my Lord. How is she? I heard she was ill."

Alexandra's cheeks were flushed by then.

"She is stable, madam. I appreciate your concern." He murmured and then turned to the King, "Do you object, Shire?" he asked him and Charles eyed Alexandra before he spoke.

"If the lady would be so kind as to stand, then I shall judge for myself." He replied evenly and Alexandra frowned. He wanted her to stand up so he could gawk at her?

Rochester stared at the King and looked at Alexandra. The faint nod of his head warned her to oblige.

Abandoning her fork and clearing her throat, she slowly stood. The heavy skirts of her gown rustled noisily as she straightened and she smoothed them down before she clasped her hands in front of her belly.

The King hummed in content and then looked at Rochester, "I suppose you wouldn't be so inclined as to share her, would you, John?" he asked and Alexandra's eyes widened.

"It depends on what you mean by sharing, Shire." The Earl answered as his hand tightened around the now empty glass of wine. Lady Castlemaine's glare was not favoring the King's words either.

The King waved at Alexandra dismissively and she took her seat again, her heart thundering in her chest.

"But of course your dirty mind went to that kind of sharing." The King laughed merrily, obviously amused by the Earl's response and Alexandra could actually feel Rochester's fury vibrating in waves next to her.

"Pardon my wandering thoughts, your Majesty. But it is quite obvious that you are rather fond of the softer sex. Wouldn't you agree, my Lady?" He smirked at Lady Castlemaine whose only response was to glare at him.

Alexandra felt more than saw the Earl's hand slipping between her parted legs and she tensed. His fingers clamped hard around her silk clad knee and the touch was not as uncomfortable and rough as it might have looked. It was rather grounding and secure.

"I am a man, John. Surely you have your own share of ladies…It's widely known. But I must admit that I am fascinated with your choice of muse. "

"Beg pardon?" Rochester cocked an eyebrow and with a last possessive squeeze at Alexandra's knee he let go of her.

"What our King wants to say is that it is rather odd that your newest muse is a decent lass, my Lord. Usually your muses are common whores." Lady Castlemaine said in a sickly sweet voice and Alexandra looked up at her. The redhead's lips were twisted in a smirk.

"My Lady, why are you so against whores? Me thinks you ought to be glad of their existence since their occupation brought you into this court, no?" Rochester replied and the King's eyebrow shot up in surprise.

Lady Castlemaine was a known courtesan after all.

"My Lord, your adoration for such ladies is rather obvious." The woman fired and the Earl grinned.

"And I feel no shame. Tell me, how is Lord Palmer? Is he in good spirits or is he mourning because of the cause of your…absence?" Rochester asked as he reached over and grabbed the wine pitcher without beckoning one of the royal servants to do it.

Lady Castlemaine inhaled sharply, "He is well, my Lord. How is Lady Rochester taking your latest unfaithfulness?" She snapped and Rochester chuckled with amusement.

"My Lady, it is not easy to wound me." He murmured as he took a long sip.

Alexandra sighed quietly. Did he always have to quarrel with people?

"Come, come you two. John, you will make me think that this is a lover's spat! Barbara, contain yourself or you can be excused already.' The King looked at his mistress dispassionately and his disinterest proved that the rumors were true. The King was slowly getting bored of Lady Castlemaine; the woman who had borne him five children.

Alexandra looked at the woman with interest and watched as she tensed and averted her eyes.

Rochester smirked, "How is the Queen? We have not had the pleasure of her presence for quite sometime, Shire." He asked just to spite the King's companion and Alexandra glared him. He was unperturbed though and just kept staring at the King, waiting for a response.

"She is well, John." The King's response was clipped and Rochester smirked behind the rim of his goblet.

"I want everything to be perfect for the ambassador. Have you finished with the costumes? Do you need more coin?" Charles asked and Rochester leaned forward.

"As a matter of a fact, your Majesty, there were a few items that I wanted to commission in my next visit at the craftsman." He replied and Alexandra blinked as she looked at him, but he ignored her.

The King leaned forward to grab his glass, "You shall have the money you want then." He gave a smiled and the Earl grinned.

"Thank you, Shire." He reached out and popped a cherry in his mouth while his mocking gaze fell upon the royal mistress who raised her chin in defiance in response to his unsavory gaze.

Alexandra felt useless as she sat in silence next to Rochester.

"Tell me, my girl." The King's voice startled her and the Earl's hand fell upon her thigh in a flash. She didn't know if his touch was meant to be a warning or a soothing gesture. Maybe both.

"Your Majesty?" She was glad she didn't sputter.

"Would you be opposed to posing next to your master?" Charles asked and Alexandra almost winced. The word _master_ seemed so harsh when it came from someone else.

"Um…" She faltered, but the Earl's fingers moved upon her leg, rubbing in circles and she calmed down when he spoke.

"A painting, Shire?" He asked and the King nodded enthusiastically.

"Indeed, John. I know you are against them, God knows why, but I think it would be a symbol of dramatic pose. The author to pose with his muse."

Rochester's lips curled into a smirk, "As long as it is your wish, my Lord, who am I to decline?" he asked and Alexandra looked at him with puzzlement. She was not going to pose next to him like a wench! Not even his wife had managed to convince him to sit for a family portrait.

"Do you object, Alexandra?" Lady Castlemaine asked and Alexandra just knew that it was because of her fear for her position next to the King. She was afraid Alexandra would become his newest obsession.

Feeling three pairs of eyes on her, Alexandra swallowed and looked at the King.

"I have no objection, Shire. I am only a humble servant." Rochester's hand tightened upon her skirt, but the King smiled.

"Excellent. I shall hang it in my private parlor and a copy shall be presented at the playhouse."

"Ah," The Earl leaned back without releasing Alexandra's dress, "A promotion for the play, yes?"

"Indeed." The King grinned, his plain features more pronounced by the unsavory expression.

Lady Castlemaine was fuming by then, but no one seemed to pay her any mind.

"Alexandra, shall we take a stroll in the garden?" Lady Castlemaine waved at the large French doors behind them and Alexandra hesitated. Rochester released her in blatant invitation to do as she pleased.

She smiled and nodded, "As you wish, my Lady." She murmured and Barbara looked at the King for permission.

He waved them both away, silently dismissing them, and Lady Castlemaine stood. Alexandra did so too and with a glance at the Earl she followed the other woman outside.

As they walked, she could feel eyes on her; eyes that were burning holes on the bare skin of her upper back. She just knew it was the King's eyes. She shuddered.

"I shall call on Sir Peter Lely then, yes? He's a wonderful artist." The King said loudly. The Earl's reply echoed in the distance, but even from afar Alexandra could tell that he was distracted.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Lady Castlemaine eyed Alexandra as they walked side by side in the gardens. Suddenly, she chuckled and Alexandra turned to eye her with surprise.

"My Lady?"

"You mustn't look so nervous, child. I am not going to bite. Only your Lord must be cautious of my aggressiveness." She pointed out and Alexandra smiled a bit.

"May I ask the reason behind this…hostility towards the Earl, madam?" She asked and Lady Castlemaine took a deep breath.

"And may I ask the reason behind the adoration in your eyes for the Earl, young lady?" She cocked an eyebrow and Alexandra flushed.

"Madam…"

"Have no fear, I am not judging you. We must do what we must do, but you aren't doing this because you must, are you?" Barbara murmured and Alexandra gulped.

"I do not know how to answer that." She whispered.

"I do. You are doing this because you want to." Lady Castlemaine told her and Alexandra really looked at the woman for the first time, as if actually _seeing_ her for the first time. She noticed that the woman's blue eyes were a bit misty, her posture tense as if standing like that unwillingly.

"It is obvious?" Alexandra asked and Barbara turned to look at her with a small frown.

"More than obvious." She murmured, "As obvious as my reluctance to maintain my cool reserve around the King's peers." She shook her head, "Life is not easy for a royal whore, my girl." She smiled bitterly and Alexandra blinked, realization dawning upon her.

"You do not like it here." Alexandra muttered and Lady Castlemaine's spine went rigid, as if only just then realizing to whom she was speaking.

"It's inconsequential. Forgive me for imposing on you with my unsavory mood." She turned and eyed Alexandra, "Quite a lovely gown. The color matches your eyes." Barbara reached out and ran a hand over the fabric and frowned, "But not the best quality." She pulled her hand away and gazed forward again, "I imagine you're not complying with the Earl's wishes for his nonexistent wealth, yes?" she cleared her throat as Alexandra flushed with embarrassment, "No, this is not a conduct of profit, is it? It's something else, something surreal for the court's narrow minded society."

Alexandra frowned, "Why did you choose to be in this society? If you frown upon it, that is…"

Lady Castlemaine laughed deeply, "I do not, my dear. I enjoy this life because it gives me privileges. There are no deeper emotions in a man's existence, young lady. I assure you. Men do not value love or affection. They want manifestations of it; whether they are in the form of pleasure, or, in my case, an heir. They do not care as long as they get something in return. That is the limit of my usefulness. I am where I am because the King has no legitimate heirs. And I am blunt about it because everybody knows it." She said with a small shrug of her elegant shoulders.

Alexandra bit her lip, "You do not like the King." She dared to presume and Barbara smiled.

"I tolerate the King…" She trailed off with a sideways glance, "Like he tolerates me in return." She took a deep breath and shook her head, "Like I said, we must do what we must. To answer your fist question, I cannot tolerate your master because he can see right through my façade. He knows exactly what I am thinking and he is not shy to express it in front of others. Not all people here at court can handle such honesty. There lies his weakness. His honesty and blatant disregard for anything powerful enough to hurt him has naturally hurt his position at court."

"I would say _that_ is what keeps him among the King's people." Alexandra argued and Barbara frowned, mulling over the thought.

"You might be right. Despite my dislike for him, he has on numerous occasions brought wittiness in boring dinners at the palace. You could say his curse is his saving grace." Lady Castlemaine nodded her head and smiled at Alexandra, "If I told you to be careful would you listen, my dear?" she asked and Alexandra stopped walking to look at her.

"Beg pardon?"

Lady Castlemaine stopped as well and the footman behind them paused at an appropriate distance behind them.

"The all consuming fire in a man's gaze can be ultimately destructive, my dear girl. Bear that in mind." She said softly before she straightened and gazed at the palace, "We should head back." She murmured and as she moved back towards the castle Alexandra could do nothing else, but follow her.

A walking stick blocked Alexandra's way and she gasped as the Earl appeared out of nowhere.

"I beg pardon, Lady Castlemaine, but we must return to Woodstock." He said as he gave a small bow.

Barbara turned to look at him and cocked an eyebrow, "Good Lord, your Lordship. Have you been lurking in the dark all this time?" She asked and Rochester smirked.

"How could I do such a thing, my Lady? I wouldn't want you to smack me again, would I?" he asked with a tilt of his head.

Lady Castlemaine smiled, but it was a bit forced, "Why, my Lord, I was under the impression that you had enjoyed that." She replied and then turned to Alexandra, "Goodnight then." She inclined her head, "My regards to Lady Rochester. I wish her a quick recovery."

With those words she turned and walked away with the servant on her heels.

The Earl followed the woman with his eyes and then turned to look at Alexandra, "Come." He inclined his head towards the long path that led from the gardens to the gates and she nodded.

The silence was consuming as they made their way to the gates and only the sound of his cane was loud enough to disturb the quietness.

He stepped into the carriage first and she followed him, the tight corset making it difficult for her to make haste. Once she was inside, he huffed and threw his wig and walking stick to the side. He slapped his hand hard against the carriage side and looked at her.

"Tedious." He muttered and then beckoned her closer.

Alexandra blinked, but at his intense gaze she stood and came to sit next to him. He wrapped an arm around her waist and brought her to his lap instead. She gasped and almost fell off as the carriage lurched a bit to the side.

"What did she tell you? Did she bore you with fashion and women's accessories? Did she comment on the inadequate fabric of your dress?" His fingers hooked on the laces of her corset and tugged hard, trying to loosen the material so she could breathe.

Alexandra was surprised, "How did you know?" She asked and he scoffed.

"Did she also mention our mutual dislike? Did she try to gather information about us?" he continued as he gave a rough tug at the laces, hard enough to make her gasp.

"Us?"

"Yes." He enunciated the word, "You and me. Us. U-s. I even spelled it for you." He snapped.

"I know how to spell, my Lord." She fired back with irritation, "May I ask what has you in such a foul mood? Surely it has nothing to do with my corset laces, right?" she muttered as he continued to wrestle with said garment.

"Oh, shut up, Alexandra." He gave a final pull and then abandoned the laces to settle his hands upon her hips.

"You are angry about the painting." She remarked and he clicked his tongue.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I know it. Why did you not refuse?" She asked as she turned around to look at him.

"Why didn't you?" He muttered with fury.

"I am a mere servant!"

"Not in my eyes!" He barked and her eyes widened. With a curse he pushed her off him and she landed on her side on the squab next to him.

She quickly turned to look at him with anger, "Then what am I in your eyes, John?" She asked him with irk and he snapped his eyes towards her, his gaze dark and sharp in its intensity.

"What did you just call me?" He murmured with an odd undertone.

"You heard me." She sat back and placed her hands upon her lap, "If I were your equal you wouldn't be so shocked at the utterance of your given name. You wouldn't need the wall that separates us. Admit it. Your title gives you the leave you need in order to have control over me." She didn't know why she was saying those things; especially at such a time.

His eyes narrowed, "Speak clearly. You think I need to be above you? Why? Why would I need to prove myself worthy by ordering you about?" His voice was challenging her to give in to his provocation.

"Fine. Here's what I think." She started calmly as she turned to face him, "I think your title provides you the perfect shield, my Lord."

"Shield? I thought my cruel honesty did that." He mocked her.

"You need the separation line so you can be certain that I won't cross over the invisible border. Because if I did, I'd be free to do as I pleased." She leaned a bit closer and he blinked while his mouth formed a line of sheer severity.

"What are you implying?" He murmured in a deadly quiet tone, "That I fear abandonment? From you?" His eyes scanned her form, but she saw the thick swallow he tried to hide.

Alexandra took a deep breath, "Yes."

"You have quite an idea of yourself." He murmured.

"No, my Lord. I do not." She said quietly, "I am as susceptible to weakness as any person. But you'd do me a great favor if you admitted that you don't like it when I cross that line that there is already placed between us by society."

His eyes roamed her face, "You like to obey me." He stated.

"Do I? Are you absolutely certain?" She asked him softly and he grimaced.

"You little wench." He muttered and she swallowed hard, "What are you trying to do? Trap me?"

"Trap you? If telling the truth is a form of confinement for you then yes, I am trying to do that."

"Speak plainly." He hissed.

She licked her lips, "You really don't understand me, do you? Are you under the illusion that I'd obey any man because I obey you?"

"You just did! By accepting to do the painting, so our mighty King can poke away while looking at you!"

"My Lord!" She snapped.

"So, now I am that again? Why didn't you object? No one can force you to do something you do not wish to do!"

"Now that's a bit hypocritical, isn't it?" She whispered and he glared at her. He knew she was talking about their first intimate encounter.

"Oh, you little-…"

"I accepted because I was thinking of the repercussions of my denial; like you did when you accepted the invitation. Why are your actions right and mine wrong? Because you don't wish to share me? I am not something for you to decide if you will share it or not. If I didn't want it you could never lay a finger on me, _my Lord_." She whispered as her eyes stung with traitorous, embarrassing tears.

He stared at her for a long time before he turned his face away.

Alexandra watched his profile, before she looked towards the other away too. Her eyes took in the trees and their branches and the more she gazed at them, the more her emotions smothered her. She folded her hands upon her lap and when a single tear rolled down her left cheek she was quick to wipe it away.

"Stop that." He muttered and she looked at him. How did he know if he wasn't looking at her?

She remained silent and he clicked his tongue, "Fuck." He hissed as he gently kicked at the opposite seat of the coach. Alexandra turned to look at his feet a bit. She blinked away the tears and tightened her fingers on her skirt when she saw that his hand was in the process of loosening his cravat. He pulled it off with a curse and thrust it unceremoniously in her hand. She froze at his gesture, but didn't comment on it as she used the lace trimmed cloth to dry her cheek.

A moment later he outstretched his hand towards her, palm up, "Come." He told her quietly and she eyed his hand with hesitation. He turned to look at her with dark unfathomable eyes.

"Come here." He repeated, pronouncing every word with precision.

She placed her hand in his and he tugged her across the cushion with ease. Her thigh bumped against his as he pulled her to him. His hand brushed over her shoulder and briefly tugged at her sleeve before he slipped his hand lower. His fingers bunched up the material of her heavy skirt and he slipped his hand underneath. His warm palm brushed up and down her knee before he hooked his hand under it. In one swift move he forced her to straddle his lap and she had to grasp at his shoulders in order not to slip from his legs.

"I want you to want it, pet." He murmured and she blinked down at him as his hands found both her thighs and rubbed circles on them with his fingers.

"Otherwise it's not real. Otherwise we're nothing but animals. There's enough falsity in our world." His lips brushed up against hers as he breathed out the words and she swallowed thickly as her fingers brushed against the ends of his curly locks.

"You want me to want what?" she asked quietly.

"Everything." He smirked and she blinked in confusion, "This," he took her hand and brushed her middle finger against the tip of his nose, "And this," he trailed her whole hand down his naked throat, "This," his hand pushed hers against his clothed chest and then lower. He groaned as he pressed his lips against hers, "And that as well." His hand covered her own over the front of his breeches and she inhaled sharply.

"You know I do." She murmured against his lips and his eyes opened; dark and misty.

"Prove it." He smirked, but there was hope swimming among the lust in his eyes.

"No."

"Yes."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"It's odd." She looked around the confined space.

"Is it?" He challenged and smiled.

"You're trying to sway me into participating in indecent acts that will stain my reputation." She whispered with a tinge of playfulness in her voice, "You're attempting to corrupt me."

His smirk deepened.

"My dear, your reputation is already stained. You've been spotted with me." He murmured before he captured her lips with his own, covering her widening smile.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A hand trailed up and down her cooling back, the fingers of said hand moving around the expanse of pale skin with one and only purpose; to wake her up. She blinked and groggily stretched among the tangled sheets, moving her torso slightly off the mattress to uncoil her sore muscles. Hands grasped at the opportunity and slipped around her, while a knee parted her legs. The hands moved up her stomach and cupped her breasts, his fingers teasing the sensitive flesh with small movements that caused her to sigh and lean back against the clothed chest behind her. Her head found purchase in the crook of his neck and shoulder and her hands traveled up the sheets until she found the back of his head. Lips found the side of her neck and his teeth bit down hard against the skin. Alexandra arched her back and groaned softly against the assault and he responded with a small moan of his own.

"I have to go to London." He murmured as his hands squeezed her breasts harder in sheer exasperation.

She opened her eyes and nodded, trying to move out of his arms, but he held her fast.

"Not yet." He muttered gruffly as he pulled her back. He lingered for a while, his hands simply stroking over her skin until he cursed and threw her unceremoniously on the bed. She landed on her stomach and she turned to look at him from over her shoulder. He made quite an image with only his shirt on and she wanted to laugh. He noticed and cocked an eyebrow.

"Something amusing?" He murmured as he pulled off his shirt and threw it behind him. His hand pressed hard on her lower back and she had no other option than to remain where she was. His chest found her back and he wound an arm around her middle in order to pull her back against him. He turned them onto their sides and he trailed a hand down her side. He clasped her thigh firmly and pulled it up and over. His lips found the side of her face and his warm breath fanned over her skin as he slipped closer. His nose brushed up and down her cheek and his lips nipped at her earlobe before he pushed forward. She inhaled sharply as they connected and her hand flew up to grasp at his cheek. Her fingers twined in his strands as he moved inside her and she closed her eyes. Every movement was a reminder of the night before and she groaned when he gave a deep thrust of ownership.

He hissed and immediately pulled back. He turned her onto her back and moved on top of her. He placed one hand at her cheek and with his free one he grasped at her knee. He pulled it firmly against his side and slipped inside her again, this time more leisurely. She exhaled quietly and locked eyes with him as he started moving, slowly grinding his hips against hers in that familiar way that he knew would make her arch her back in bliss.

She bit her lip and his eyes zeroed on them, his gaze darkening with desire, his pupils dilating at the sight of her soft mouth. She smiled a bit and flexed her inner muscles. He groaned and smirked as she leaned up to kiss him. His tongue lapped at her mouth and when she lifted her pelvis in a sharp thrust he bit down on her lip in retaliation.

"I want you to come with me today." He murmured as he quickened his pace, pushing her harder into the mattress while twisting his hips in just the right way.

She gasped and grabbed onto his arms as the knot in her stomach started expanding into tight balls of fire that threatened to consume her whole.

"Where?" She breathed and he groaned low in his throat. She leaned up to kiss his jaw, "My Lord?" She murmured and he moaned as he felt her quivering around him. His eyes drifted shut as her back arched and his mouth searched blindly for hers. His hand entwined with her own upon the pillow by her head and he almost broke her fingers as he found his release and collapsed on top of her.

"Damn you." He hissed against the matted locks of hair that stuck on her sweaty neck.

He quickly rolled away and she reached for the sheets as the coolness of the room attacked her wet skin. She felt boneless as he fought for breath next to her. His hand reached out and traced her collarbone and she turned to look at him. He had his eyes on the canopy.

"I want you to come to the rehearsals with me. I need you." He said at last, his voice hoarse and breathless.

Alexandra tried hard not to attach herself to his side. She eyed his fingers that were always somehow touching her while they were in bed, and she bit her lip.

"Alright."

He turned to look at her and smirked as he turned towards her, "You like it, don't you?" He murmured huskily and she frowned.

"My Lord?" she whispered.

He chuckled, "Having me between your thighs." He told her with a wicked smirk and she flushed.

"You'd rather I didn't?" she asked as she tightened her hold on the sheets.

"No…I'd like it even more if you showed it like today." He stole a wet openmouthed kiss from her parted lips and then rolled away from her.

"Be ready in an hour." He called as he made his way into the washroom, grabbing his long robe on his way in.

Alexandra buried her red face in his pillow, momentarily forgetting who they were and what they were doing.

**End of chapter 21**

**Author's note: Ahem, yes. I had intended to put more stuff in this chapter…Like the play, Elizabeth and so on, but this chapter wrote itself.**

**Anyway, thank you for reading! Please review before you go. It means a lot!**

***Info: Lady Castlemaine had born seven children. Five of them were claimed by the King. While being his mistress, she was also married. Because of her children, Charles II created the Dukedom of Cleveland. His wife, Catherine of Braganza had given him no heirs.**

**Sir Peter Lely was the King's royal painter at the time.***

**Until next time! Oh and comments?**

**Xxx Lina ;o)**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Welcome! I want to thank everyone who is reading this and especially my reviewers: TinkerbellxO, ForeverACharmedOne, nuckythompson, MissMisc3, Makrciana, dionne dance, PilferAndLove, Leyshla Gisel, XantheXV, Gary the Snail x3, xoangelwingxo, CharlieCats and PGAEmma.**

**Thank you all for your support. It means the world!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 22**

_**A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.**_

_**~ Joseph Joubert **_

"I haven't seen you here lately." Jane sent her a wink through the mirror and Alexandra smiled.

"Woodstock is far from here…" She murmured as she secured the shoulder of the dress with a pin. She smoothed her hands over the white fabric and then reached for another pin.

"And expensive to move from there to London I assume…" Jane hinted and Alexandra paused with surprise.

Jane laughed, "I know Johnny's situation better than anyone here." Jane pointed out as she gazed down at her dress.

"Oh?"

"Hmm." The woman nodded with a small smile, "You won't find a lot of whores who offer their services for free." She gave a small shrug and Alexandra almost pierced her thumb as the words cruelly reminded her who exactly the man in the next room was.

"I suppose not." She said at last and Jane shook her head in amusement at the other woman's flushed face.

"Can I ask you something?" Alexandra whispered and Jane cocked an eyebrow.

"As long as it's not John's favorite position in bed then yes." At Alexandra's blank stare she laughed, "Trade secrets." She laughed and shook her head, "I am only teasing, love. Ask."

Alexandra took a deep breath, "You're one of the few who call him by his name…And he allows it." She murmured.

Jane blinked, "Well, not in public." She whirled around to face her, "You've shagged hm." She stated as she placed her hands on her hips and eyed her up and down.

Alexandra sputtered, "That's not the point." She said at last.

"Yes, it is. Listen to me, love." Jane leaned closer so she could speak quietly, "Never bring a man down from his high throne unless he asks for it." She pulled back and smirked.

"So, calling a man by his first name is pulling him down from his throne?"

"When you have to do with a lord, yes… Especially one like Rochester. God knows he owns just his title." Jane muttered as she turned towards the mirror and grinned at her costume, "You're good."

Alexandra offered a timid smile and tapped a pin against her thumb nervously. Jane noticed her expression and sighed.

"Men fear intimacy…Well… not the physical one, but they do fear the emotional one." She started quietly and when she heard the Earl's voice close by she started speaking faster and less loudly, "But if a man wants the emotional intimacy and you're not offering it on a silver platter, he will be begging you to throw down the walls that separate you before you know it." She said with a smirk, "He will ask to be knocked off his throne." She winked, "So, wait."

"I do not-…"

"Oh, yes you do. It's so obvious…As obvious as the fact that I am a whore. Now…More pins?" She suggested as the Earl entered the dressing room with a man on his heels.

Alexandra didn't look at him and carried on with her task, "Did the same happen to you with him?" She whispered and Jane laughed loudly; so loudly that the Earl turned to look at her with a deep frown.

Jane stopped and cleared her throat, "No, love. I am just good at my job…if you get my drift." She whispered and Alexandra flushed.

She shook her head and put the last pin on the dress before she stepped back.

Jane turned and acknowledged Rochester with a small bow of her head.

"My Lord." She smiled and he smirked.

"Jane." He sent the other man away and then approached her, "You look lovely in white…I am surprised nothing has tumbled to the ground at the sight of you in that color." He told her and she laughed.

"Thank God for that."

He offered her another smirk and then turned to Alexandra who was idly fiddling with the box of pins.

"Alexandra, come." He murmured and she looked up. She made to put away the pins, but he shook his head.

"Take it." He told her and she nodded her head before she started following him out of the room.

They walked down the long corridor and Alexandra cringed when she heard Elizabeth Barry's voice.

The Earl reached out and grabbed her hand, effectively pulling her into another dressing room. He drew the curtains and turned to her without releasing her.

"I need your help with something." He told her and she nodded. He eyed her up and down and then released her.

He walked over to a hanger and took down a thick intricate coat. He turned to her with it, "It's too big on me and we are too late in ordering another one. Do you think you can do something with it in a week?" he cocked an eyebrow and she licked her lips. His eyes followed the action and they darkened a bit. She didn't notice.

"Um…If the actor can come and put it on…I will see what I can do." She replied and then looked up at him.

He grinned, "Excellent." With that, he shrugged out of his waistcoat and put the coat on. Alexandra paused.

"My Lord?"

"Sweet?"

"You…"

"Well, who better to act than me? I know the role by heart…And I won't get paid." He winked at her through the full body mirror and she hesitated.

"Alright." She approached and touched his shoulders. The sleeves were too baggy. She pushed his hair out of his neck and held it in one hand before she gathered the fabric in her fist, measuring it.

"My Lord…I have not seen any…theatrical settings yet." She said and he pursed his lips in amusement.

"Indeed…You shall see them soon." He chuckled darkly and she paused.

"My Lord…I hope you're not planning anything…devious." She said quietly and he raised his chin up as she fiddled with the brocade on the coat's neckline.

"Have no fear. The King will get the play he deserves." He said loudly and she let her hands drop from his shoulders. He rolled his eyes as she walked around so she stood in front of him.

"My Lord…" She murmured as she looked at him with severity.

"Oh, lose that face, Alexandra. It's very ludicrous." He muttered with a click of his tongue.

"Might I remind your Lordship, that the last thing you need is another exile?" She whispered and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"You worry about me too much." He informed her dryly.

"I am worried about myself. Your selfishness has started affecting me in the worst ways possible." She fired back and he paused, his eyes flaring with anger.

"If you are worried about your payment, you shouldn't." He spat.

"Indeed, since I am not getting any for the last two months." She placed her hands on her hips and he narrowed his eyes.

"I thought my services were more than enough." The words were spoken through gritted teeth.

"If you looked closely enough, you'd find them lacking." She replied and his nostrils flared, but before he could speak she reached out and placed her fingers against his lips. He froze, his entire form going stiff.

"My Lord, you're too easily ruffled." She whispered and his eyes narrowed even further, "Your lack of understanding proves how little faith you have in me. I am sorry you took my words the way that you did, but not everyone is worried about money. And if you had spent a moment longer in my presence this morning, you'd have realized that your services, as you call them, were not in the least lacking." She shook her head and then pulled her fingers away from his mouth. He parted them as she slipped around and started putting pins on the coat in silence. As she started on the second shoulder his hand shot out and grasped her wrist. He tugged her around and pulled her to his chest. His free hand reached up and twined in her hair, his fingers curling around the hair at the back of her head, disturbing the strategically placed pins that held the front strands away from her face. She gasped as his arm curled around her waist and she held her hands by her sides, mindful of the sharp pins.

"Your worry will be your downfall." He hissed into her face and then inhaled deeply, "But I am foolish enough to desire it." He murmured and she swallowed as his face softened and the anger left his eyes only to be replaced by scorching heat. His lips twitched and he cocked his head to the side as he regarded her with hooded eyes. Alexandra's form became less stiff as she gazed at him and when he started leaning forward her breath hitched. His lips were swift enough to catch her bottom lip between them and his tongue was quick to slip into her mouth as she parted it for him. His hand on her back slipped lower and lower, until his palm was on her bottom. With a sharp pull he brought her pelvis flush against his and he hissed against her mouth. His fingers tugged on her hair, pulling her closer and their teeth clashed together as his mouth parted wider to accept the timid entrance of her tongue. His hand slipped from her bottom to slide over the back of her thigh and she found herself pressed against the long mirror a moment later. Their combined weight shook the glass and he grinned against her lips when she gasped. His hand firmly grasped her leg and he pulled it over his hip, pressing closer to her. His fingers massaged her scalp and his lips gently nipped at her lip. When her hand abandoned the pins and trailed up his neck he sharply bit down on her lip until he drew blood. Alexandra groaned and curled her arm around his neck, pulling her body closer and the slow grind of his hips against her was response enough. The metallic taste of blood was heady on her tongue as his lips sucked on her lip, but when the sound of footsteps disturbed the quietness she stiffened.

A moment later the curtain was drawn and the Earl groaned as he slowed down the pace of his kissing.

"Oh…" The voice was female and horribly familiar and Alexandra fought hard to break the kiss. She pressed hard against his chest, but he wasn't budging.

"My Lord." Ms. Barry's voice was loud, stiff and cold and the Earl gave her lips a last suck before turned to look at her casually.

"Ms. Barry." He murmured without releasing Alexandra, "Don't you know it's rude to barge in uninvited? But I suppose your manners are lacking…" He murmured and when Alexandra moved her hand to wipe at the blood and saliva on her mouth he caught her wrist and looked at her warningly. She widened her eyes at him and he smirked before he leaned down and kissed her, his lips and tongue brushing away the evidence of their intimate escapade. He let her thigh slip from around his hip and then turned to Elizabeth.

"No apology? Oh, well…" he pushed away from Alexandra and the mirror and looked at the actress, "I was under the impression that you were coming this evening for your casual rehearsal." He said coolly, not in the least bothered that someone had caught him in a precarious position with his maid.

Alexandra quickly moved away from the mirror and leaned down to pick up the fallen pins.

"I heard that there was help with the costumes." Elizabeth's eyes fell on Alexandra whose cheeks were a deep red, "So, I came to see if mine was ready. Also, my Lord, I have received not even a single page of my role." She added and the Earl sighed before he turned to face the mirror.

"That is because you don't have a role in my production, madam. I thought I had cleared that out with Mr. Betterton." He said crisply and Alexandra froze. Slowly she stood and walked towards him again, intent on putting the bloody pins on the coat at last.

"I beg your pardon? I thought that was a mistake." Elizabeth murmured and Alexandra shot her a glance.

"No mistake, madam. Your understudy will be just as adequate for the heroine I had in mind." He informed her quietly. How could he sound so calm even when he was obviously insulting someone? Alexandra shook her head surreptitiously.

"And what is the role? No one knows!" the actress exclaimed and the Earl turned to look at her.

"Those who are concerned have already been informed, madam." He told her and her nostrils flared.

"I was in the actors' list a few weeks ago." She said through gritted teeth and Alexandra turned to look at her. Once they locked eyes Barry scoffed.

"Very well." She nodded, "I understand. I suppose you have already found a much cheaper solution for your play. What can be more advantageous than having everything without paying, yes?"

Alexandra tensed at the implication and she glared at the woman. She started to move forward, but the Earl's arm blocked her way.

"Indeed, madam." He murmured and then smirked, "What can be more advantageous and _sweeter_ than a cunt that has not be tarnished by other men? You should know…Have a good day." He turned back to face the mirror and Alexandra gaped at him as his words were effective enough. The actress glared at him and then walked out of the room.

The Earl rolled his eyes and sighed heavily before he walked towards a stool that was next to the mirror. He picked up the glass resting there and took a sip, his eyes catching Alexandra's through the glass. Slowly, he turned and looked at her. He chuckled at her expression.

"Well, my sweet," he started as he approached her and stared intently into her eyes, "Sometimes you have to lower yourself to the level of your enemies." His eyes fell on her lips, "The most effective way to shut them up. Yes?" he winked and downed his drink before he stepped in front of her, his arms outstretched, "I'm all yours." He murmured and she unstuck her tongue from the roof of her mouth before she approached and carried on working on the coat.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_A few days later, Hampton Palace_

The woman's hands tugged on the laces around Alexandra's waist with force. Alexandra winced and let her eyes peruse the chamber. It was lavish. The red curtains had a shining gold trimming and the settee was the same crimson color. The French doors led directly to the large garden of Hampton Palace and as soon as her eyes fell on the greenery, she tensed up. She knew what awaited her out there.

"All set, dear. Turn around so that I can see you." The woman ordered and Alexandra turned around. The heavy skirt felt as if it weighed a ton upon her hips. The dark red and gold dress was strategically combined so that her clothing would fit with the King's private parlor and it disgusted her in a way that was new to her.

"Perfect." The middle aged woman smiled and fiddled with Alexandra's short dress sleeves for a moment before she released her, "You may go. Sir Lely is already waiting." She outstretched a hand towards the French doors and Alexandra gave a stiff nod before she stepped outside. It was sunny, but the chill was biting and she shivered. As she walked, a footman fell into step behind her and she tensed even more. Shaking her head to clear it, she came to a stop when she spotted the Earl conversing with the painter. Another footman was standing nearby and she sighed as she slowly made her way towards the two men.

"Ah, lovely. Then we should begin." The painter smiled and nodded at her. She gazed at the Earl who grimaced and looked at Mr. Lely.

"Tell me we won't have to stand." He commented dryly and Sir Lely laughed jubilantly.

Alexandra cocked an eyebrow.

"You won't. My Lord, take a seat in the chair." He then turned to Alexandra and offered her his hand. She took it and he led her towards the chair.

He clicked his fingers and the footman brought a low stool.

Alexandra stiffened. Was she supposed to sit there?

"If you may sit, madam." Sir Lely smiled and she looked at Rochester who was already seated before she approached.

She licked her lips which had remained unpainted-thank God-and started leaning down. She lost her balance as she stepped onto her dress, but a hand steadied her. She looked at the Earl gratefully and he narrowed his eyes at her as she took her seat.

Lord Rochester turned to the artist, "May I inquire the reason behind this?" He asked as he waved a hand at Alexandra's low stool.

Sir Lely frowned as if not understanding the question, "It shall give the illusion that the lady is kneeling by your feet, my Lord." He replied and the Earl frowned.

"Oh? A signal of her inferiority?" he asked sharply and the artist gasped.

"Heavens, no! You shall have your hand upon her face as if in reverence. I see nothing inferior to a writer who is gazing at his muse in gratefulness." He approached and took the Earl's hand, gently placing it underneath Alexandra's chin.

He frowned.

"Or…" Sir Lely started and Rochester quirked an eyebrow.

"What?"

Alexandra sighed and briefly wondered for how long she would be forced to remain in that position. Probably all day.

"Perhaps you should place the hand on her hair?" Sir Lely murmured and the Earl growled.

"Perhaps I should have her on my lap instead. More pleasurable for both of us." He snapped.

To Alexandra's surprise the man laughed loudly.

"Oh, my Lord! Your wit is endless."

"Is it?" The Earl scowled.

"Yes, yes, but it is not an appropriate position for a parlor picture." Sir Lely even winked and Alexandra stared at him.

"Hmm. Indeed."

The painter smiled and clapped his hands, "So! Hand on her chin then? Excellent. Now, madam, if you could lower you face a bit. Yes. My Lord, eyes on the muse." Lely moved back and walked towards his canvas.

Rochester rolled his eyes, "Thank God for small favors." He muttered as he shot her a wink. She almost smiled, but her clothes were too tight and uncomfortable for her to actually relax.

She could feel the Earl's fingertips against her chin and even though he simply touched her so softly because he had to, she couldn't help but feel soothed by it. Maybe it was foolish, but she was glad she wasn't alone.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The Earl craned his neck and groaned. He flexed his fingers under Alexandra's chin and she stole a glance up at him. He had a scowl on his face and when he noticed her eyes on him he smirked and brushed his thumb over her pale pink lips. She flushed and looked down again.

"The color is so fetching, sweet." He murmured quietly as he waved at the footman, "It brings out the red in your hair." He told her and when the footman was close enough he looked up at him, "Drink." He ordered and the footman gave a small nod before he walked away.

Alexandra sighed, "Must you really?" She whispered.

"Compliment you? Yes, I must…If I want to take you while you're wearing the King's colors." He smirked with a sly glimmer in his eye.

"My Lord!"

"Hmm?" he laughed and squeezed her chin almost affectionately, "Sir Lely? How much longer?" he called sharply.

The painter looked at him from behind his stand, "Just half an hour more for today, my Lord." His head disappeared behind the canvas again and the Earl groaned.

"The King's children and grandchildren will look at us as if we are an exhibit…Not to mention the future monarchs. It's horrid and useless." He grumbled as the footman returned with a glass and a bottle of sweet red wine.

The Earl sighed joyously as he grasped the glass and Alexandra groaned.

"My first concern is my short breath, my Lord." She whispered and he looked at her from over the rim of his goblet. He slowly pulled it away from his lips and as he took his time to swallow he stared at her. His eyes trailed down her exposed neck and settled on her heaving chest. He groaned huskily and shifted in his seat before he lightly pinched her chin.

"Indeed." He murmured and she glared at him. He laughed and Sir Lely looked at him.

"My Lord?"

Rochester waved him away and shook his head, "Nothing, sir. I am just admiring the view." He said and the painter smiled.

"Oh yes! The gardens are lovely at this time of year!" Lely said and Rochester snorted while Alexandra blushed.

"You're impossible." She murmured.

He smirked and took another sip before he beckoned the footman closer.

"Drinking again, Lord Rochester?" Lady Castlemaine's voice called and Alexandra looked up as the woman approached them with her dog. Even the dog's leash was red and Alexandra wanted to snort.

"My Lady. What an unexpected surprise. Have you come to investigate?" He called with a crooked grin and Lady Castlemaine smiled dryly.

"I did not know that strolls in the garden were prohibited." She called as she nodded her head at Sir Lely and then looked at Alexandra, "Alexandra."

"Madam." Alexandra murmured as she looked up.

"I see that all the women in this court must lower their heads…Even the muses. How sad." She whispered and Alexandra heard the tinge of sadness in the woman's voice. Her heart clenched for some unknown reason.

"Do I detect a glum tone to your voice, madam? Did you encounter the Queen on your way here? I heard she cannot even warm the King's bed these days…Why is that? Are you the reason or is there already another lady who was wedged her way between his thighs?" The Earl called, but behind the rudeness another layer of emotion lay hidden.

Lady Castlemaine chuckled a little, "My Lord, you forget that I am not as gullible as other women. Now, how is the painting coming along?" she asked and Sir Lely cleared his throat.

"Quite good, madam. Would you like to see?" He replied and the woman took a deep breath.

"No, I don't want to ruin the surprise. Have a good evening." She bowed her head and then carried on walking, pulling her small dog along.

The Earl shook his head, "What a sad life she must lead…I wonder if her expensive items are compensation enough for being the royal whore." He muttered and Alexandra looked up at him.

"It's a good thing men will never be in the place of women. You'd die of despair, my Lord." She enunciated the last two words and bowed her head.

Rochester frowned and watched as the calm evening sunlight was reflected in the emerald stones on her ears. As he watched her, he gulped at the tone in her voice.

He covered his irk by ordering more wine.

Alexandra's insides burned at his silence.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

She gazed at the sealed letter and blinked. The sound of loud music and voices rang wildly in her ears as she stepped into the Great Hall.

She spotted Lord Sackville and the Earl at the King's table and she walked towards them. As she passed by various people she noticed that the King was missing from their company. When she arrived at the Earl's seat he smirked and wrapped an arm around her waist, effectively pulling her onto his lap. Sackville snorted into his goblet.

"My darling Alex," the Earl murmured as he clutched her to him, "Where have you been? Did the old hag corner you at some alcove?" He snorted and his breath fell heavy and moist on her neck.

"No, I did not see Lady Castlemaine at all. Why?" She shook her head as she tried in vain to move out of his embrace.

"She doesn't like me, that's why. The wench…" he said with a dark chuckle, "Drink?" He thrust a glass under Alexandra's nose and she grimaced.

"My Lord, there is a letter. That's why I left." She gently pushed the glass away.

"Letter?"

"A footman handed it to me. It's addressed to you." She said as she turned to face him and he rolled his eyes.

"Later." He muttered dismissively.

"It's from Somerset." She pointed out and he groaned.

"I said, later." He hissed and clasped her hip, "Drink something, pet. You're too tense." He smirked with a slight slur and she stood up from his lap.

She sat next to him and watched as he turned to converse with his friend.

Her fingers were tingling as she held the letter and she bit the inside of her lip hard as she tried to decide what to do. He was obviously too drunk to think rationally and even though she knew it was insensitive of him to ignore his wife so profoundly she was aware where such inattentiveness stemmed from. He had been hurt by her blatant rejection and now he was too arrogant to pay any attention.

Making sure that no one was watching, she took a deep breath and broke the seal. Huddling further in her seat, she unfolded the letter and started reading.

_John,_

_I am sorry if this letter finds you at an inappropriate time, but as you have said many times, any time is proper for the truth. So, here is my truth. I have ordered for this letter to reach you after my passing._

_I am not sure if you will feel any sort of resentment for me after reading this, but before I am gone I want you to know that I do not hate you. Perhaps it was easy for you to think that I did; perhaps it was easier to make me hate you. I have tried, numerous times, to just give in to your provocation and there were times when I wanted to; desperately. My life was always ruled by your actions, my feelings always hesitant because of your disposition, my heart broken by your rejection._

_It is very cruel of me to say this, but I have to. I am glad that when this letter will reach you I'll be gone. I am glad, because I won't have to face your wrath any longer. I do not know if your ruthlessness towards me was justified, but I want you to know that even if you were never too close to me I had never felt lonelier than when I was in your presence. Forgive me if I sound too harsh, but you can excuse a woman for her deathbed confession. _

_Don't be alarmed, for there is nothing you can do to help me. Do not rush to the door, because this time your return won't absolve you of your sins. Don't yell; don't take your anger on the ones close to you, because nothing will bring me back. _

_I pray for your health, I pray for your good fortunes, I pray that you will not forsake my children. I pray that you never stop being who you are, because I loved you no matter what. And last, but not least, I pray that you never forget me. I hope that I will not be another person who never touched your soul; I hope that you will live happier without me. I hope…I hope you can forgive me._

_Elizabeth_

Alexandra blinked furiously, trying to clear her blurry vision. She gasped for breath and looked up, her eyes wandering, perusing the Great Hall with speed, but she could not see. She abruptly stood up and the chair fell to the ground from the force of her movement. She could hear her blood pounding in her ears and despite the crowd of people she could only see one person; one man. It seemed like a cruel joke of fate.

The man approaching the table was familiar, his face a harsh reminder of the life Alexandra had forgotten; the people she had pushed aside for the man next to her.

The servant had his head lowered and he was dressed in black as he parted the sea of people to get to the Earl.

Her watery eyes fell upon the man who was smirking at something Lord Sackville said and she quickly blinked. The tears fell down her cheeks in thick rivulets and landed on the letter that was still clutched in her hand.

Her breath was short and heavy and as the footman of Lady Elizabeth neared the long table she did it; she screamed.

The voices and music seemed to stop and the Earl's eyes were suddenly on her, wide and confused.

"Alexandra?" His voice sounded far away and she stumbled back, suddenly too aware of what she had just read.

He stood and tried to approach her, his face suddenly more sober than it was a moment ago.

His dark eyes spotted the letter, "What is it?" he asked, "Did you open it?" He narrowed his eyes, but he was too shocked by her reaction to actually put any venom in his voice.

"For God's sake, woman! Speak!" He barked at her and Sackville also stood with a frown.

"I…I…don't…I'm sorry." She whispered in a choked up voice before she collapsed onto the ground in a heap or heavy red skirts

"What in hell is wrong with you?" he snarled at her as he leaned down to grasp her arm, "Get up. You're making a scene-…"

"My Lord Rochester." Elizabeth's servant had finally arrived and the Earl let go of her arm to turn around. He swayed a bit where he stood and when he spotted the footman he narrowed his eyes.

"What is it? Why are you here?" He asked and the music resumed as if nothing had happened.

Alexandra gazed at the letter again and she had the urge to close her ears.

The servant walked around the table and approached the Earl with his head lowered.

"Speak, man!" The Earl was exasperated.

"The Countess has sent me, my Lord. I am sorry to inform you that your wife, Lady Elizabeth, passed away last night." The footman said in a quiet, tremulous voice and Alexandra closed her eyes tightly shut.

"What?" The Earl's voice was laced with such confusion that it brought more tears into Alexandra's eyes.

Suddenly, he turned towards her and looked at her with such severity that she flinched.

"You…" He started and then leaned down to snatch the letter from her weak fingers. His eyes read through the lines and she slowly stood on shaky legs.

"My Lord, shall I inform the Countess of your imminent arrival at-…"

"How dare you open this without my consent?" Rochester hissed, cutting off the servant's speech, "How…?" He trailed off and when she raised her eyes to his he snarled in sheer fury.

"F-forgive me. I feared that it was an emergency and you-…" Her jumbled speech was cut off by the back of his hand which collided with her face in a sharp slap.

She gasped and raised a hand to cradle her cheek, but when she turned around to look at him he was gone. She could only watch his back as he disappeared among the sea of people.

**End of chapter 22**

**Author's note: Ahem…yeah. Were you expecting that to happen so soon? I hope not. What do you think will happen now?**

**Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it…Please, let me know. Your feedback makes me write faster! Plus, it makes me smile.**

**For those who are waiting for an update on **_**Desire Me Not**_**-my other Libertine fic-, I am happy to tell you that I will have the next chapter up in the next couple of days. Promise!**

**Until next time, loves, and don't forget to review! :D**

**Xxx Lina ;o)**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Hello, everyone! Welcome back.**

**An enormous hug to : whatcatydidnext, PilferAndLove, Newland Archer, XantheXV, Blue Eye Phantom, Makrciana, MissMisc3, ForeverACharmedOne, dionne dance, Gary the Snail x3, xoangelwingxo, Jay D. Moore, CharlieCats, Leyshla Gisel, PGAEmma, , ElleWillBite, TinkerbellxO and flow3rchild21. Thank you all for the great response to the last chapter!**

**Let's see what you think of this…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 23**

_**If you love something let it go.**_

_**If it comes back to you it's yours;**_

_**If it doesn't it never was.**_

_**~Richard Bach**_

_I left for Adderbury. Do not dare to show your face there. Not even if they do call upon you._

_Rochester_

Alexandra folded the note and turned towards the flames. She threw it inside and watched it burn. Her cheek was throbbing with pain and she knew it was turning purple, but what hurt the most were her insides. She felt like a hot iron was clawing at her abdomen with voracity. She was angry, mad, desperate, but most of it all she felt guilt for something she had little control over.

She bit down hard on her tongue and then shook her head. No, that was a lie; an easy lie that she could tell herself in order to feel better. There is always a choice. Always. She could have chosen differently. She shouldn't have allowed their…relationship to go that far. And it wasn't even a relationship. It was something else. A need, a co-dependence and it was sick. It was not healthy because too many people were getting hurt, too many lives were ruined, but most of it all she was not happy. How could she be when she knew that someone she loved so dearly was never going to be hers? When she knew that no matter how hard she tried, no matter how hard she obeyed she'd never take Elizabeth's place. No one could ever do that and the knowledge of it hurt. He had showed it. Her face was evidence enough. She had gone too far. She had meddled with something that was supposed to be private and intimate. Maybe that had hurt him the most. Maybe the cause of his anger was not his wife's passing, but her audacity to interfere with something that was meant to be secret.

Shaking her head, she turned away from the fireplace and ignored Alcock's voice who was calling for her.

She raised a hand to her cheek and gently brushed her fingers over it. She hissed and squeezed her eyes shut. She briefly wondered if he would ever dare hit his wife, or even Elizabeth Barry. She doubted it and she knew as she held her cheek that she shouldn't put up with it for a second time. She also knew that in order for him to react in such a way he had to be terribly provoked, insane with anger and…grief. Yes, grief. For a man who never truly showed his emotions she could see right through him. She could see right through his façade and she was aware that most people didn't know how many things he had to ignore in order to be who he was. Lady Elizabeth knew him and that was why she tolerated his indiscretions. She had been a woman who had loved him dearly despite his faults and he knew it. So, he hated her for it. Perhaps if she had behaved differently towards him, he might have respected her more while she had been alive.

Alexandra swallowed hard and her stomach twisted into a tight knot when she realized that Lady Rochester's death could be enough to change everything between them. It could be enough to change the balance that was already swaying precariously in their relationship. She didn't know if their odd affair was a way for him to get back at his wife for being who she was. She had no proof, no solid manifestation of any affection from him apart from his hunger for her. He had told her countless of times not to get too close to him. Perhaps that had been his way of telling her what she needed to know. Perhaps she had been reading his face wrong. Perhaps…

Frowning a little, she reached up and fingered her earrings. She grimaced and reached up to remove them. She had worn them long enough and she doubted that he cared if she did or not at the moment. She curled her fingers around the jewelry and let her hand drop to her side. She looked down at herself and realized that she was still in the heavy red dress; wrapped in the King's colors. She shuddered with disgust and what she had been doing at the palace seemed even cruder. It felt like a hideous insult to Lady Elizabeth's memory.

"But it wasn't my fault…" She murmured, but she knew that it was a lie. It was her fault; at least part of it was her fault.

Suddenly she couldn't breathe and she leaned against the table. She collapsed into a chair and placed a hand on her forehead.

"There you are! I've been calling for you." Alcock stormed into the kitchen breathless, "Are you even listening to me?" He asked her and she looked up.

"I am listening." She murmured and his eyes widened.

"Alex…Your face looks…" he trailed off with a grimace, "We should put something cold on it." He looked around the kitchen.

"Do not bother…It's been hours. The damage is already done anyway." She shook her head and gently touched her cheek.

"Perhaps some raw meat…."

"We don't have any." She looked up at him, "I am fine. You should go to Adderbury." She whispered and he frowned.

"Are you serious? I need my head on top of me shoulders. I am not going anywhere." He shook his head quickly.

"Fine." she muttered before she stood, "I am going to clean up." She said softly as she passed by him.

"I'll bring warm water…Alright?" he called and when she didn't reply he groaned and shook his head, "Right."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

She had been staring at the red dress for two nights. It mocked her as it hung across from her. She forced her eyes away from the dress and gazed at the earrings on top of her nightstand instead. They were glimmering in the candlelight, a painful reminder of the man who had given them to her. His eyes did glimmer in the dark too no matter if he was sober or not. They always glimmered.

She shook her head and turned onto her back, pushing the covers away from her cold body. She couldn't stand their weight; they were stifling her. As she stared at the ceiling, she came to the lucid conclusion that his lack of attention towards her was her punishment; because she had tried to reach something that could never be hers. She had it coming because he was who he was…He'd never change and yet she was worried. He had never ignored her for so long. He had never stayed mad at her for so long, but perhaps his disappearance had nothing to do with her. His world didn't evolve around her and it was time she realized that.

She let out a bitter snort and tried to push away the foolish feeling of worry. How could she worry about someone who had treated her with such disregard in front of everyone? She knew that the incident should have already reached the King's ears. She wondered if he would continue to support the rebellious Earl who made a scene in the Great hall of Hampton Palace.

A knock on her door caused her to sit up with a start.

"Yes?"

"It's me. I know where he is. Get dressed and come outside." Alcock's voice was loud and insistent and she knew that she had no other choice than to follow him.

She got out of bed and quickly got dressed. Once she was ready she rushed to the driveway.

"Get in." The other servant grabbed the reins, but Alexandra didn't do so.

"Where are we going?" She asked as she curled her hands upon her skirt.

"London."

"London?" she exclaimed, "How…?"

"Jane." He clarified and she didn't need further explanation.

She got into the carriage and when it lurched forward with force, she felt as if her heart almost leaped out of her chest as well.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The whorehouse was crowded and as soon as Alexandra stepped in behind Alcock her nostrils were immediately assaulted by the scent of sweat, filth and cheap ale. She moved through various men and women and for a moment she lost Alcock. She panicked and looked around with wide eyes. Suddenly a hand grabbed her and pulled her into a darkened room. She gasped, but when she realized that the fingers around her arm were feminine she calmed down.

"It's just me, Alex. Good God, you scare easy." Jane's voice was not amused, but it was familiar and Alexandra gave a sigh of relief.

"You scared me." She breathed.

"Where is Alcock?" Jane whispered and a male groan, a very familiar male groan, prickled Alex's ears.

"He…he is here. I lost him among the people...Is he…Is that him?" She whispered as her eyes got used to the semi darkness.

"Yes." Jane sighed, "I sent word as soon as he was unconscious. He came here a day ago, right after his wife's funeral. I tried to send him away. Back to Woodstock, but he was not listening to me."

Alexandra nodded and passed by her. She paused when she saw him sprawled on the settee. He looked a mess. His hair was stringy and clinging to his sweaty neck and forehead. His clothes were wrinkled, his shirt untucked from his breeches and he was wearing no boots.

In his hand a silk handkerchief was grasped tightly, but it was dirty. She frowned and looked at Jane who came and stood next to her.

"I think it was his wife's, but I am not sure. What I am sure about is that he has a fever. He finished those in a day…without any food. I wanted to call upon you sooner, but I couldn't…" Jane trailed off and when Alexandra saw the various empty bottles she gritted her teeth.

"Why did you let him drink so much? It's not-…"

"Like you don't know how he is! And…Is that…Did someone hit you?" Jane whispered as she grasped Alexandra's chin in her hand.

"I'm fine…I just went too far." she replied quietly," Will you find Alcock?" She murmured before she kneeled in front of the Earl and reached for his boots.

Jane stared at her, "He mentioned you…Just before he fell asleep. Now I understand why." Jane murmured before she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Alexandra didn't look at his face as she pulled on his footwear. She had to struggle in order to get them on because he was uncooperative, but she managed to do so at last. She let her hands drop upon her lap and then she had to look at his face.

His brow was furrowed even in his sleep and his mouth was slightly parted, as if he had fallen asleep with a word on his lips. Hesitating as if he were a startled animal, she reached out and pulled the handkerchief from his sweaty fingers. He released it easily and she unfolded it. At one corner, the initials E.M were intricately decorating the silk cloth.

"E…M." she murmured and then blinked, "Elizabeth Malet." She whispered.

Feeling as if she were intruding again, she quickly folded it and placed it in his coat pocket. Her hand brushed against his stomach and she paused with her fingers gently brushing his shirt. Swallowing hard, she reached up and touched his cheek with the back of her fingers. His skin was warm and moist. Stubble was prickling her skin as she stroked his cheek and she didn't realize until she looked up that his eyes were half open.

When her green eyes locked with his own feverish brown ones she froze and quickly removed her hand as if burned. She averted her eyes, but she could still feel that he was looking at her. Daring another look at his face, she found him frowning and his eyes were settled upon her face and particularly on her right cheek.

Clearing her throat, she quickly stood and without a word she reached for his arm. She grasped it tightly and then started pulling him up. He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut again. She managed to bring him up until he was sitting on his bottom, but he was a dead weight. His head quickly found purchase against her stomach and the arm she had used to lift him suddenly found its way around her hip. She let him curl his fingers around the back of her dress and when he rubbed his face against her belly she realized that it was the closer to an apology that she'd ever get from him. She also knew that he probably wouldn't remember it in the morning.

"Ah, you have him up. Wait!" Alcock burst into the room and the Earl gave a small groan.

"Not so loud." He hissed, his words nothing but a slur and the servant smirked.

"Me Lord." He hauled him up easily and Alexandra knew that Rochester weighed much less than his servant. He rarely ate decent meals; he preferred to drink.

Nodding at Jane, she walked out of the room in silence.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The room was dressed in darkness when she entered the next morning with a cup of warm tea and some bread. The moment she stepped foot in there he spoke up.

"Whatever you've brought, I don't want it. Just open the drapes." His voice was hoarse and groggy and crisp and she knew just then that he had just woken up.

She swallowed hard and placed the tray upon the desk before she did as she was told.

He groaned as soon as the sunlight burst through the glass and he rubbed his eyes.

When he pulled his hand away he found her watching him from several feet away.

"It's just some tea, my Lord. It will be good for your stomach." She said quietly as she picked up the cup and walked towards him. Keeping her eyes on his covered lap, she outstretched her hand, but he didn't take the tea.

"Now you know what is good for me? You always seem to know everything. Tell me, did your latest good deed make you feel better?" He asked her harshly and she looked up at him, heat in her eyes.

"Good deed, my Lord? Heavens, no. I just did my duty. I am your servant, am I not? Good deeds are for saints." she replied tersely, "I will force-feed it to you if I must, so you better drink it willingly." She shook the cup and he snarled.

"I thought you were one."

"No, sir. I am not a saint. Obviously." she replied, "I have also gotten rid of every single bottle in the house. So, if you don't want to get dehydrated, you better drink this."

His lips formed a smirk and before she could blink, his hand shot out and sent the cup to the floor. It smashed near her feet in a million little pieces and she gasped, stumbling backwards.

When she looked up at him he was already sitting up, "I won't remind you again to remember your place. I will also not warn you to speak with respect ever again. If you defy me in public again, I will punish you so severely that you won't remember your name by the time I am through with you. Is that clear?" He murmured as his eyes perused her face.

Alexandra clenched her jaw and gritted her teeth until they were grinding together almost painfully

"Yes, my Lord. Absolutely clear." She replied with a terse nod and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Are you mocking me, Alexandra? After what you did, you dare mock me?" He murmured and she closed her eyes briefly.

"I apologize for opening the letter. If that is my only transgression, then I beg for your forgiveness. I offended you-…"

"You did not only offend me. You disobeyed me! You meddled with something that was private. You stepped over the line-…"

"I do not know where the line lies anymore! Do you understand me?" She exploded and he quickly stood.

"I won't tell you again. Do not raise your voice at me. I have no time or tolerance for your histrionics." His warning was quiet, "The line is this. I am your master and you are a member of my household. I set the rules and you have to follow them. If you don't like them, then that is not my concern. Don't ever treat me like your lover ever again. I won't endure your wrath over something that is your fault. I won't have you act like a sentimental fool. I can bring you down as quickly as I raised you. And from warming my bed you can easily find yourself back to where you came from. Understood?"

When she did not reply he grasped her chin and raised her face to his, "Answer the question." His fingers were biting harshly into the skin of her chin and the force of his grip was also causing her cheek to throb dully.

"Yes." She replied tersely.

"Good girl." he pushed her away and then looked at the mess, "Clean the mess and draw me a bath." He muttered as he headed for the door barefoot.

"My Lord." She called and he paused, his shoulders tense.

"What?"

She took a step closer, "What if I don't want to warm your bed anymore? Will I be forced to?" She asked and he whirled around to face her. His eyes swept her form and he clenched and unclenched his fists for a few moments before he walked up to her. His hand found the back of her head and he twisted his fingers deep in her locks. He pulled her head back and back, until she winced from the pain. His eyes roamed her face and neck before he leaned close to her, so close that his breath was falling over her tightly shut lips.

"My dear Alex, that choice has long been taken from you. Don't you know?" He murmured without even an ounce of mockery in his voice.

"Don't I know what?" She whispered as she was forced to look at him through half lidded eyes.

His fingers tightened in her hair and he tugged even harder until she winced.

"Don't you know that you love me?" he breathed and she froze, "That means that you can't ever leave me. Ever." He shook his head at her and she felt her heart stop momentarily.

"How dare you use that against me?" she murmured and something shifted in his eyes, like a shadow that moves too fast in the dark, "Now you find my stupid feelings worthy? Why? Because you can use them as leverage to keep me? I never thought you to be so cruel-…"

"You need me to keep you, _my_ love." he hissed and her eyes widened, "And you know that." He said more quietly and she swallowed hard, "You need me to possess you like I need to keep you. These chains cannot be broken, Alexandra. Not even by the God you so dearly love. Not even by death himself. And I will put that into your mind in any way that I can. I will carve it onto your skin if I have to. Even if I have to take you a thousand times, until I am so deep inside you that couldn't possibly tell where I ended and where you began-…" His words were cut off by her hand which she raised and then let it fall upon his cheek with force.

He released her at once, but he didn't even stagger. The only thing she managed to accomplish was to turn his head with the force of her slap.

"You forget, _my Lord_, that the power you so desperately crave to have over me is only given to you by me. I can easily snatch it back as swiftly as I handed it over." She took a step back and he slowly turned to face her. He had a smirk on his face and his eyes were glimmering.

"Maybe the next time you find yourself pissed drunk in a whorehouse there won't be anyone to pick up your pieces. Consider that." She bowed her head and before she could walk away he grabbed her elbow and pulled her back.

His eyes studied her face and then he nodded his head, "Now we're even. Get back to your work…and put your fucking earrings back on!" He let her go and then disappeared into the washroom.

Alexandra stared after him with wide eyes.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_Three days later…_

"Why did he not take you to the play?" Alcock was walking by her side in the garden.

"Why would I go? I have no business there…" She gave a small shrug and she ignored the pang of hurt she felt. He always took her with him to the playhouse. Always. But she knew that things would be different from now on. Nothing would ever be the same.

"You are the bloody muse! You should be there." Alcock stated and she sighed.

"I am no one. It's time for the message to sink in." She replied as they walked closer and closer to the driveway.

Suddenly, Alcock paused, "Oh, bugger…Speak of the devil." Alcock exclaimed with wide eyes as a large carriage with six horses appeared near the Woodstock gates.

Alexandra paused and when she realized that it was one of the King's coaches she froze.

"Oh God." She murmured as the carriage came to a stop and a footman got out of it. He started approaching them and Alexandra took a step back.

"May I help you?" She asked as soon as he was close and the man looked up at her.

"You have to come with me, madam. The King is expecting you at the theatre. Be quick or we shall miss the play." The young man replied and she sputtered.

"I have orders not to-…"

"The King ordered me to get you, miss. Don't make me use force. Please."

Alexandra looked at Alcock who nodded at her. She nodded and as she headed back to the house to get ready, she heard Alcock speak again.

"Room for one more?"

She felt like banging her head against the nearest wall.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_Duke's Theatre, London_

"Your Majesty." She bowed low as the King looked up at her.

"Ah, Ms. Stravinsky. Come closer. May I introduce you the French ambassador, Monsieur Paul Barillon. Monsieur Barillon, this is the woman who inspired this evening's production. The Earl of Rochester has great taste, does he not?" The King beckoned Alexandra closer and she obliged.

The ambassador stood up and bowed at her, a small smile on his face, but his eyes showed distrust.

"Enchanted, madame. Will you sit with us?" he waved towards an empty chair, "With your Majesty's approval, of course." He turned to Charles who smiled and nodded.

"Of course. Do sit down, Ms. Stravinsky."

Alexandra quickly took her seat and her eyes moved quickly over the gallery. The curtains were all still drawn and the people were talking amongst themselves.

"I was worried you wouldn't show, madam." The King spoke quietly and she gulped as she turned to face him, "Didn't the Earl invite you?" He had his eyes narrowed.

"I was feeling ill, your Majesty. I am still a little…queasy." She forced a smile while dread was clawing at her insides. Why didn't the Earl take her with him? He knew he had to because of the King. She hadn't thought about that at first, but now she feared the reason.

"Oh? Shall we call a physician?" The King asked and she quickly shook her head.

"No, your Majesty. Being in your presence is medicine enough." She smiled and the King returned it.

"Such politeness, my dear. One wouldn't dare think you were of inferior birth." He pointed out in a murmur and she flushed before she averted her eyes.

She almost sighed with relief when she heard him conversing with the ambassador. She could feel eyes upon her. She knew people were looking at her, wondering who she was and why she was sitting in the King's box.

Trying to ignore the various looks, she let her eyes fall upon the stage. She wondered what was behind those curtains and her stomach was heavy and tangled into knots of fear and dread. Something didn't feel right.

She twined her fingers together and tried hard not to chew on her nails. Her throat was dry and as her eye caught sight of a half naked Billy Downs she froze. Their gazes locked and he frowned, but before she could inspect him any further he disappeared backstage.

The arrival of Lady Castlemaine was lost to her and when the woman spoke to her she startled terribly.

"I am sorry, madam…I was not paying attention." She said quietly as the woman took her seat next to her.

"It's of no consequence, Alexandra. What has you in such a mood?" Lady Castlemaine asked and Alexandra smiled.

"Nothing…I am simply excited." She replied and when the lights were dimmed she turned and stared forward.

She licked her dry lips and when the curtains were raised and she saw what was _actually_ behind them she gasped and stood up. The scene was absurd.

Muttering a quick apology, she walked out of the box and leaned against the closest wall. She took a deep breath and then dared to peer through the box's curtains. The stage was obscene and nothing looked like the settings of the actual play. Wide eyed, she slipped behind the seats and stared right ahead.

That was what he wanted to show to people? Why did he want to destroy his one chance at showing his abilities?

She wanted to laugh and cry as the half naked women stepped foot upon the stage. She covered her mouth with her hand as she watched and she could feel her cheeks flushing with shock and embarrassment.

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted Lady Castlemaine and she dared to look back at her. The woman had an eyebrow cocked and she was tapping her foot against the floor as they stared at each other. When a tear slipped down Alexandra's cheek the woman's face changed and she looked back at the stage.

When the ludicrous song ended, laughter erupted and Alexandra buried her face in her hands.

Loud music resumed and when she dared to look back at the stage, she saw the Earl, wrapped in the intricate coat she herself had fixed, entering the set. Swiftly and suddenly she spotted Jane kneeling by his feet. She was wearing the white dress Alexandra had prepared for her.

"Jesus Christ." She whispered as Rochester started speaking loudly and clearly.

She didn't recognize the words at first, but when he spoke two particularly lines she froze and remembered.

"_Some gawdy fop, stoops to the creatures eyes,_

_Yields to the magick of her charming thighs…"_

She let the rest of his insane, crude speech trail off and she focused her attention on the King and his company.

Charles looked ready to pounce and the ambassador had a mocking grin upon his plain features.

And then the King turned and looked at her with such severity that even Lady Castlemaine stood and stepped between Alexandra and the King.

"Your Majesty. Leave the girl be and stop this madness at once!" She hissed at the monarch who abruptly stood and approached the two women.

"Shut up." He hissed at his mistress before he looked at Alexandra, "I am ashamed for you, madam. Truly."

Alexandra bowed her head "Your majesty, I had no-…"

"Speak another word and I'll have your head on a spike." The King warned lowly before he disappeared.

Alexandra dry heaved and lady Castlemaine stepped forward to watch as the King made his way towards Rochester and the women.

Alexandra quickly stepped out of the box again and when someone collided with her she gasped and stumbled.

Alcock looked at her and rolled his eyes, "What are you doing standing there?" He grabbed her arm and dragged her behind him. They climbed down a flight of stairs and when they stepped backstage Alexandra tugged her arm free.

"What are you doing?" She asked breathlessly as screams erupted in the gallery.

"What do you think I'm doing?" he snapped, "Getting ready to flee. Come on-…"

"I am not leaving!" She exclaimed and he groaned.

"Now is not the time for heroics, Alex-…" He was cut off as the women of the chorus and other actors flew past them in a blur of costumes and skirts.

Alexandra whirled around just in time to see the Earl calmly walking back from the stage. Behind him, a large fire was blocking the way backstage.

Once she saw him, she rushed over and grasped his arm.

"My Lord, what have you done?" she cried, "Do you know what will happen now?"

The Earl grasped her head and pulled her to him, "I did what I wanted to do. Now be gone."

When she hesitated, he snarled at her," _Now_." He threw her away from him and with a motion of his head, Alcock opened the back door. They disappeared and when Downs went to follow them, she caught his hand.

"What are you doing? What do all of you think that you're going to accomplish with this?" She hissed as several of the King's footmen appeared from the right entrance.

"You want to come with us? Come now." The man replied and she gaped at him.

"He's going to run? Like a coward? I don't…"

He tugged his hand free and then disappeared as well.

Two hands grabbed Alexandra's arms, but when they started hauling her back a voice commanded them to stop.

"Let her be. Follow the others." The King's voice barked and she was immediately released.

She stumbled back as the men ran by her and when she turned around to face the monarch he stormed up to her.

"Pray that he has a very good explanation for all this. Maybe his grief has scrambled his head too much. Whatever the reason, I do not care." He murmured and she bowed her head, "I don't appreciate it when others play me for a fool. And I won't be tricked by a maid and her poor excuse of a master. Do you understand me, Ms. Stravinsky?" He pushed her out of the way and she was left staring at his back.

As she stood there, she heard footsteps and turned her head to the left. Through the cloud of smoke and the scent of burned wood, Elizabeth Barry stood, staring at Alexandra with a calm expression. With a twitch of her lips that spoke of her satisfaction, she turned and walked away.

**End of chapter 23**

**Author's note: Ahem, yes. It all went downhill, right?**

**So, liked it? Hated it? Please let me know. Do you think they will see each other again? Will the actual play be presented to the King? **

***Info: Paul Barillon d'Amoncourt was the French ambassador to England from 1677 to 1688.**

**The lines the Earl recites are from his play 'Sodom or the Quintessence of Debauchery'. You must remember it from the film.**

**So, comments?**

**Xxx Lina ;o)**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Welcome back! I apologize for the delay!**

**I want to thank: Sea Rover, Gabby, Guest, PGAEmma, TinkerbellxO, xoangelwingxo, Makrciana, XantheXV, Newland Archer, ForeverACharmedOne, MissMisc3, Jay D. Moore, dionne dance, flow3rchild21, CharlieCats and LeyshlaGisel. You are all wonderful and I cannot thank you enough!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 24**

_**My pains at last some respite shall afford,**_

_**Whilst I behold the battles you maintain,**_

_**When fleets of glasses sail about the board,**_

_**From whose broadsides volleys of wit shall rain.**_

_**~John Wilmot, The Disabled Debauchee**_

_Four weeks later, Adderbury, Oxfordshire _

The coach abruptly stopped and she had to hold onto the seat in order not to fell forward. She was jolted awake, her pitiful sleep just a memory as she opened her eyes wide. Her heartbeat accelerated, but she nervously peeked outside of the carriage window. She heard the driver's yell, the horses' hooves and their heavy whines as they tried to pull the carriage forward, but something was stopping them.

Alexandra sat back and took a moment to compose herself. She rubbed her eyes, pushing away any possible remnants of sleep before she looked across from her. Her few belongings mocked her as they stood in the opposite seat and her hand was still tightly clutching onto the tiny jewels. Opening her palm, she looked down upon them and tried hard not to shake from dread. She smoothed down her skirt and then reached forward. She grabbed the edges of the chest and slowly opened it. Her hand reached forward and slipped between the clothes until her fingers brushed against the paper. She gave it an almost fond pat and then grasped her one and only handkerchief. She unfolded it and placed the earrings inside as the groans and sighs of the driver rang in her ears.

"You have to walk the rest of the way, lass!" The driver called in his rough voice and she tensed up. She quickly put away the handkerchief and firmly shut her wooden chest. She rested her hands there for a moment, as if to ground herself, and then leaned back.

The coach door was opened a moment later and she tried to put on a neutral face as the driver wiped his brow and looked at her.

"Nothing moves in this mud." he muttered as he reached forward and pulled the chest towards him, "I'll carry that for you." He nodded at her as he picked up her belongings with a groan.

Alexandra offered him a small smile that looked more like a grimace and then grabbed the coach's side to haul herself out.

Her shoes stepped onto the ground and she immediately sank a few inches into the mud. She gasped and held onto the coach door as she looked down. She was ankle deep into the mud and she sighed. Of course, nothing would ever work in her favor. Letting go of the carriage, she raised her foot and took another step only to sink even deeper this time.

She looked up to watch the driver, but his boots were helping him move more swiftly, leaving her far behind in the process.

She stopped and took her time in moving while her eyes took in the estate. It looked…abandoned; as if only ghosts resided in there now. The scenery looked glum, the greenery muddy by the constant rain and the sky was so overcast that it looked like it was night instead of noon.

She groaned and picked up her skirts as she tried to move faster, but as the gates started getting closer and closer, a heavy feeling of desolation fell upon her chest like a ton of bricks. She patted the folds of her skirt as the Countess' letter was still resting there. She had no idea why she had been called back to Adderbury; especially after everything, but she knew that the reason was not her dismissal. If she were to be dismissed she wouldn't have been called back to the Earl's house. No.

Resigned, she let her skirt drop, no longer caring if it got stained or ruined. She had to know why she was there. She had no hopes that he would be in that house. She knew he wasn't. He wouldn't show his face anywhere where it would be easy to get caught. She suspected that the King was still boiling over the play incident.

She tried not to feel odd when she recalled that she had gotten not even a single word from him. She had long ago realized that he was displeased with her as well. She doubted that she'd ever see him again. And maybe it was for the best.

"There you go!" the driver knocked heavily on the door and a servant immediately opened it, "Have to get back to the horses, aye?"

Alexandra watched the driver go and then turned to face the servant man.

"Hello. I am here for the Countess." She murmured and the servant looked at her up and down before he nodded and opened the gate wide for her to pass.

"Come in."

She swallowed hard and stepped forward, noting silently to herself that the servant's face was not in any way familiar. He was probably new to the household.

"I shall get your things to the servant quarters. Your old room is ready for you." He told her as he pulled her belongings in and then shut the heavy door. She tried not to jump when he did so.

She inhaled deeply and her nose was immediately filled with the scent of smoke and freshly brewed tea. She tried to ignore her growling stomach and turned to face the servant.

"This way." He said and she followed him through the hall.

They stepped into a dimly lit room and Alexandra immediately recognized it as the drawing room.

"My Lady. The girl is here." The servant bowed and let her pass into the room.

The Earl's mother was standing in front of the fire, her eyes fixated upon the flames. Alexandra tried not to shiver at the eerie quietness of the large manor. Woodstock and its grandness hadn't seemed so empty to her the last couple of weeks.

"You must be wondering why you are here." She spoke up and Alexandra bowed her head.

"My Lady." She murmured and the woman turned to look at her, "My condolences, madam." She added and looked up only when the older woman came closer to her.

"Forgive me if I don't believe in the sincerity of your words." She murmured and Alexandra looked up.

"Pardon?"

"Are you seriously sad that my daughter-in-law has passed away? Or you're just saying that to appease me?"

How similar the Countess was to her son. Alexandra was astonished.

"I had a great respect for her ladyship…She had been most kind to me." She replied, "But I am surprised that I am here, my Lady."

"I shall enlighten you why you are here." She nodded her head, "But first, tell me something." She took a step closer, "Did you know what my son was planning? Had you knowledge of his madness or not?"

Alexandra straightened, but kept her eyes lowered, "I had no idea what his lordship was going to do. I was under the impression that he was going to show his actual work and not some insanity stemmed from anger and grief." She replied quietly.

"You seem like you know him well. Have you any idea where he is?" the Countess asked.

"No, madam."

"I am honestly surprised. I thought that he would take you with him. I was surprised when he took a whore with him instead."

Alexandra looked up at that, her pale face showing her surprise.

"What?"

The woman took a deep breath and as Alexandra studied her face she realized how tired the woman actually looked.

"You have no idea…He took one of the…wenches with him. Her name is immaterial."

"Jane." Alexandra muttered, but quickly shut her mouth.

"The reason you are here is simple; I have no wish to anger the King by removing the last hope that is standing between his shame and his success." The Countess took a step closer, "I have strict orders not to let you escape, because eventually he will come for you." The dark eyes of the woman moved over Alexandra's form with curiosity and barely contained disdain, "You shall resume your old duties here. The work is not heavy because there's only me and Charles here. The girls are staying in their mother's house in Somerset. They have no wish to come back here yet."

Alexandra watched as the woman turned around and walked to the window.

"My Lady." She murmured as she bowed her head in gratitude.

"Do not look so severe, girl. It's not the first time my son shames our name…And I fear it won't be the last." She turned to look at Alexandra from over her shoulder, "If you have any idea how to make this right, speak now."

"Right, madam?" Alexandra frowned.

"I suspect my son shared things with you; things that has never shared with anyone." She turned around abruptly. "Books, thoughts, verses…conversations. He must have seen intelligence in you otherwise he would not have kept you for so long."

Alexandra tensed up at the insult. She was a servant; she was an object.

"He even stopped visiting his family. John was never so absent from this house. He didn't even come when Elizabeth was sick." The Countess' eyes were narrowed as she regarded Alexandra, "So, there must be something special about you."

"I assure you I never provoked any of -…"

"Silence!" she was severely cut off and she startled, "Men will always be men, girl. My son is not easily misled by women. Like any of his peers he indulged in brief affairs, yes. But he never forsook his wife. So, stop trying to seem immaterial. Even the King knows you're not. You'd be dead otherwise."

Alexandra blinked and swallowed hard, "I apologize."

"It's too late for apologies. I should have gotten rid of you when I had the chance. It's my own fault. I should have seen the danger you posed. However, I want my son back. So you shall stay and wait here." The Countess walked closer to her, "If you have any suggestion of how to appease the King, I am all ears." She murmured and Alexandra was lost.

How was she supposed to know what they could do? She had no idea-…  
"You must tell me if there was a real text; one that would cajole the King instead of enraging him. I have searched John's study and I've found nothing. Is there anything you know? You were after all the muse and the performance my son presented was not in any way flattering for you." Her eyes roamed Alexandra's form, causing her to cower a little.

"I know nothing, madam…At least I think I know nothing." She whispered and the Countess closed her eyes in resignation. She clenched her jaw and gently rubbed her temple with her fingertips.

"I see." She murmured as she opened her eyes and regarded Alexandra dispassionately for a few moments.

When silence took over, she sighed, "Then you may go. I think you can remember where the servants' quarters are, yes?"

The woman turned her back on Alexandra and resumed her place close to the fireplace. Her black dress made her look like a messenger of death; a bad omen, but Alexandra knew that she was being ridiculous. She was merely expressing her grief. Nothing more.

Alexandra quietly took her leave, her feet blindly leading her towards her old room. As the floorboards of the manor creaked and squealed under her weight, she was heavily reminded of the sounds of her tattered soul. She could have sworn that they sounded the same.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_Weeks later…_

The rain was pounding heavily against the house and trees and Alexandra cursed loudly to herself as she stepped outside through the back door.

She groaned and huffed at the sight of the soiled and soaked laundry before she looked up at the sky.

"Why, God? Why?" She hissed as she removed the apron from around her waist and placed it over her head. It offered little protection as she stepped away from the threshold and safety of the door.

She shivered, but started gathering the clothes in silence, her eyes blurry from all the water droplets that were falling into her eyes straight from the almost black sky.

"You need help?" One of the guards near the back entrance called and she startled.

"No!" She shook her head and he smirked as he kept doing his rounds. Through blurry vision, she rolled her eyes at him and kept throwing the clothes inside the basket. By the time she was done she had sneezed five times and a small giggle from the door caused her to turn.

The maid was trying in vain to remove young Master Charles from the door and Alexandra waved a little at him. He returned it with his usually glum eyes now glimmering in mirth at seeing her soaked.

"You're not a gentleman, young Master." She pointed a dripping finger at him and he giggled before he hid behind the maid's skirts.

Alexandra shook her head and leaned down to pick up the basket.

"There is someone watching you, Alex." The young boy said and then started bouncing up and down, his little finger pointing towards the tall trees, "It's raining! Can we invite him in?" He asked with a tiny frown.

Alexandra was amazed at his manners, but she was curious. Keeping the apron over her head, she turned around and looked ahead. She narrowed her eyes as the hunching figure was nothing but a mere dark shadow next to the oak tree. She could hardly see the face and she wasn't even sure if it was a man or a woman. The hood over his head provided the person a good concealment. Frowning, she put the basket down and started walking towards the oak tree.

"Hello? May I help you?" As soon as she spoke the words she regretted them. Through the hood, she could see the person's lips twitching upwards into a smirk. It was a man; she was certain of it. His white teeth were visible from his curled lip and just as she was about to speak again the man stepped back, his dirty cloak billowing in the rain as he started retreating back into the shadows.

"Oi! You! Get out of this property! It's not a place for beggars!" The guard arrived once again at the back garden and Alexandra turned to look at him, no longer caring that the rain was soaking her to the bone.

"Don't talk like that." She muttered as she turned her eyes on the man again. The wheels inside her head started turning, but she didn't dare to think much of the incident because the beggar or whoever he was, disappeared in a flash, his form dissolving in the mist of fog and rain.

"You know how many I have to throw out? There are many who are leaving the city in hopes of money and food. The Countess doesn't allow beggars in her doorstep. It's my placement or their well-being. I choose the first." The guard muttered before he walked away.

Alexandra watched him go and then turned her gaze towards the tree again. Her heart did a quick somersault inside her chest and she quickly placed her hand over it, willing it to calm down.

Frowning, she picked up the basket and slowly made her way back inside, ignoring the faint, but blossoming suspicion that made her heart beat faster.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

She opened the chest. She hadn't bothered with it much. Mainly because she expected to be dismissed shortly…She could see how great self control the Countess was yielding in her decision to let her stay in her house.

Alexandra was beyond tired. She wanted to leave, but she knew that it was not wise.

Parting the folds of the clothes, she found the hidden handkerchief. She hesitated in opening it. If she did, she would be assaulted with memories; memories that would only make his absence greater, more profound.

Gritting her teeth, she put the earrings away, still leaving them in their white cover.

She slipped her hand back inside her things and when her fingers brushed the bound pages she paused.

Gradually, her eyes widened and she pulled the play out with such swiftness that few of her belongings fell to the ground.

Her picture taunted her and she stared at the cover for a long time, until she abruptly stood.

Not thinking of the repercussions of her actions, she opened her chamber door and walked out.

Her destination wad clear; the Countess' chamber.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The Countess eyed the play and Alexandra gazed at her with expectation.

"You've had this all along?" The imposing woman asked with a cocked eyebrow and Alexandra fidgeted a little.

'Yes."

"And you're giving it to me now?" Lady Anne murmured before she stood up, "Are you so foolish, girl?" she waved the printed pages in front of her with severity, "This is treasure in this case! The King believes that there was no play in the first place… Besides that farce, of course. You're here for…four months and you decide to hand it over now?"

"I apologize, madam…" Alexandra started, "I had no idea that it would help-…"

"Liar. You had an idea. You just didn't want to part with it!" The Countess hissed before she grasped Alexandra's chin and raised her face upwards, "Our reputation has suffered because of your ridiculous affections! John is not free. He is weighed down by his title. A title he has long ago forsaken for the sake of his immature and rather common desires. I thought you were wiser than a foolish adolescent." She let go and Alexandra staggered, but did not fall.

"Forgive me…But how is this going to help matters?" She asked quietly, watching with dread as the Earl's mother flipped through the pages with an angry hand.

"I will present the King with this. He will be greatly pleased." The Countess drawled.

"But it is not certain that he will allow the Earl to return." Alexandra ventured calmly and the woman eyed her with displeasure.

"At the moment, my great concern is to ensure that my son's head will remain upon his shoulders. The rest are insignificant details." She spat and then picked up the small bell on her desk.

With a single chime, the servant arrived at the door and bowed his head.

"My Lady?"

"Prepare a carriage. We shall pay a visit to Hampton Palace." Lady Anne said firmly and the servant blinked.

"Madam, shall we send word first?" The young man murmured, but the Countess' glare was answer enough.

With another bow, he turned and did as he was told in silence.

"There is a wood delivery due today. Make sure the gates are open in the afternoon for the cart. The driver is sick and I shall ask the guard to drive me to London. Make sure the maid stays with Charles all the time. I fear for his health with this dreadful weather." Lady Anne said as she closed the play and turned to face Alexandra, "Was I clear?" She quirked an eyebrow and Alexandra bowed.

"Of course, my Lady."

"Make sure you lock after the delivery. I heard beggars and thieves are lurking about." The Countess started walking away, but then she stopped and turned towards Alexandra again, "I shall make sure to inform the King that you gave me this…I hope he sees the bright side instead of the dark." She muttered before she made her way out of the room.

Alexandra closed her eyes in resignation.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Where you want it?" The man asked her as he eyed her up and down with intensity.

"Um…The back garden. Right in front of the back door, please." She stepped aside to let him pass and he nodded.

"I suppose th'Lady has the money, aye? Not like last time, I suppose." He grumbled as he pulled the horse forward.

Alexandra cleared her throat and tightened the shawl around her shoulders, "Yes, of course. I have it right here." She murmured as she followed him.

Once they were back, he freed the horse from the cart and turned to Alexandra.

"Done. Should I bring some inside?" He asked while barely stifling a yawn.

She quickly shook her head and handed him the money before she led him back to the gates.

"Evening!" He called as he made his way down the driveway, his eyes on the money.

Alexandra watched him go before she shut the gates and locked them. Stepping back, she took a look around. Deciding it was early, she started walking. She passed from the empty stables and her feet took her to the back porch. She came to stand in front of the wood. She rubbed her hands to warm them and tried not to think too much on what news the next day would bring. She already knew that they hadn't managed to find Rochester or any of his group of followers. The King's men had come looking for him at least five times in Adderbury. Alexandra knew that it would be very easy for him to hide among the people. He was known for his quick thinking after all. He was a man who had committed a crime; the abduction of an heiress for God's sake. He had been put to the Tower, but he was released from his prison because the King was too fond of him to see him rot behind bars. He was lucky in escaping difficult obstacles.

Groaning quietly to herself, she decided that she should warm the house. She looked up at the windows and waved her hand when she spotted the maid, Sarah. Sarah nodded down at her and then disappeared from the window, obviously still tending to the young Master's slight fever.

She flexed her fingers and while she felt them objecting profoundly at the low temperature of the evening air, she still reached out for some wood. Her fingers had barely made contact with the cart's contents when she was grabbed from behind. An arm slipped around her waist and a palm was slammed harshly over her mouth. An undignified squeal escaped her covered lips and she was quickly thrust backwards. Her back was pressed tightly against a chest and her feet were barely touching the ground as she was pulled behind the large oak tree of the back garden. Her assailant's back hit the tree's trunk with an echoing thud and she felt the collision, her back vibrating as it hit the body behind it. Her eyes were wide and as she breathed through her nose she could smell the smoke and pure soil on the man's clothes. It was definitely a man. She could feel every part of him pressed against her from behind. Her hands tried in vain to move to her benefit, but the arm around her waist quickly moved and trapped both her hands underneath it. With her arms pinned by her sides she could only listen and look ahead. The hand over her mouth allowed no movement. She could feel her heart beating wildly against her chest and she could only dare to hope that her attacker was merely hungry.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she listened to his calm breathing and when she felt his fingers curling over the material of her apron she inhaled sharply. His hand was smooth, but his skin was stained. She could not make out if it was merely dirty, but it was surely tainted with black spots. Her mouth was freed a moment later, but she knew better than to just scream for help. The hand trailed down her neck and hooked on her apron. With a vicious tug the cloth fell away and landed on top of the mud by their feet. The same happened to her shawl and she shivered.

Gulping, she heaved a deep breath and shuddered, and when the man's hand trailed over her cleavage she let out a tiny whimper.

"If you're looking for money I have none." She spoke through gritted teeth, but the man merely clamped his palm over her mouth again, his lips parting against her ear to shush her.

"Hush." The voice was hoarse and low, but through her frightful haze she could detect a familiarity in it. Her eyes narrowed and she eyed the man's right hand, hoping and praying that she would spot a golden ring around his finger, but his hand was bare, dirty and too _elegant_ for a man who was supposedly a filthy thief or beggar.

Her eyes widened, but she had no time to think much on her weak and possibly mistaken revelation.

The arm around her loosened, but she had no luck in grasping the moment. A knife was thrust against her neck and she whimpered behind the hand that held her quiet. The pointed tip slithered up and down her neck and the man's breathing fogged the razor sharp blade.

The knife moved to her earlobe and there it lingered. She swallowed hard, wondering what on earth grabbed his attention there.

The hand over her mouth slipped away and grasped hold of her hair instead. Fingers twisted deep in her locks and pulled, almost painfully hard, her head back, exposing her throat.

She cried out and suddenly her face was turned to the side. Her neck objected the sharp and unexpected movement and she winced, her hands flying up to grab the man's hand. Words and plans of escape left her as soon as lips fell upon her own. Her eyes widened at the strange taste that flooded her mouth. It was an odd mixture of bitter alcohol and smoke, along with a tinge of leather.

Her mouth fell open in a silent yell when the knife moved and found the neckline of her simple gray dress. A clean cut was made and her body was suddenly exposed to the cool air. Her thin cotton shift didn't help at all and she shuddered as goosebumps prickled her skin.

A tongue invaded her mouth and as soon as it touched her own cowering one she went absolutely still. A hand found her stomach through her shift and fingers dug sharply into her skin, effectively pulling her even further backwards.

The man's mouth was too insistent, the moves too familiar and the fingers that just a moment ago had been digging into her skin were too swift to touch her below the stomach; too swift to study her. He was not just interested in violating her; no.

She inhaled sharply and she finally moved her hand, trailing it up the man's side and shoulder, to finally grasp the side of his face. He groaned into the kiss and his hips rubbed up against her bottom in response. Stubble greeted her slightly roughened palm and fingers, and she quickly moved her fingertips towards the left side of the man's face. Her fingertip brushed over his chin, just beneath his lips and when her skin glided over that small, barely there mole, she froze. Her lips went still under his, no longer trying to move them away and at first he didn't notice.

Alexandra's heart almost jumped right out of her chest when she realized who exactly was behind her.

The mouth over her own kept pressing against her, but when he finally realized her stillness he moved back. His hand moved then and curled around her neck. In one swift move she was turned around and pressed roughly against the tree. Her cheek slid harshly over the surface and she whimpered as she was pinned against it. Something hot and wet trickled down her cheek and she realized that it was her blood.

Hands fell on her hips then and a hot, but slightly weathered mouth fell on her neck with hunger. Her breath hitched and as she gasped and groaned, she realized that her mouth was finally free.

"Oh my God." She murmured and a sharp bite right above her pulse spot was her only response. The sting of the bite was awfully familiar too and she knew just then, that underneath all the grime and smoke was none other than the Earl himself.

His hands were busy bunching up her skirt and she was momentarily frozen on the spot from all the emotions boiling up inside her. Fear, relief, hope, sadness, disappointment, love and lust were fighting for dominance, but as his hand curled around her stomach and his free one slipped between them to loosen his own clothing, one won over. Concern.

"You're alright." she murmured and she felt him go absolutely still, "You're here."

The hand around her tightened and the lips and tongue upon her skin stopped their sinful assault.

She could feel his warm, moist breath upon her skin and her hands moved then to trail up his arm. She pushed her face away from the tree trunk and pressed backwards against him, her head finding refuge in the crook of his neck and shoulder. Her eyes were quick to look at the side of his face and she could barely make out his straight, elegant nose peeking from the tattered hood that was covering his head. She could see curly brown strands of hair framing his face and she ignored how grimy his skin and locks looked because it was _him_. Only that mattered.

His hand that had been busy a moment ago in loosening his breeches was now pressing heavily against her lower back, almost as if not knowing if he should push her away or tug her closer.

She could see him gazing at her out of the corner of his eye and then he suddenly sneered. His hand moved and he pressed her forward again, his push mighty and rough. Her hands shot out to steady her and stop the collision with the tree, but his harsh breathing and words invaded her senses again, numbing her and bathing her in their familiarity.

"My little saint," he breathed as his teeth found her earlobe, "You aren't that much of a saint after all, yes?" his words were a hiss, but she could feel his hands grabbing at her hips with impatience, "Why, you were just ready to sin with a stranger." His tongue found the skin behind her ear and she shivered, her hand reaching back to grasp his forearm, "What would my mother say?" his tone was mocking, furious almost and she wished that she could turn around to face him. His grip was too tight to allow such movement though. She was saddened when she realized that his tone obviously showed his decision not to acknowledge the fact that she had partly known with whom she was.

Distant noises and voices disturbed their silence and she tensed up when she heard horses' hooves approaching the front gates.

A sense of panic overwhelmed her and she started speaking.

"Please." she tugged on his hands, begging him to loosen his grip, "I did something that will-…" She gasped as she was abruptly turned around. Her back collided with the tree and his hand clamped over her mouth.

"Not a word." he narrowed his eyes, his heady breath fanning over her face as he spoke, "If you ever dare speak of this, I will come back and smother you myself. Is that clear?" He murmured hoarsely, his dark eyes flashing in the evening gloom and she realized just then that he had never meant to be seen. He wanted to simply claim and leave again. He had no intention of staying and risking his head.

_Of course. _His desire had not outwitted his common sense.

His hand moved away form her lips, but his fingertips lingered, rubbing and stroking the skin of her parted mouth and when she blinked and shook her head he moved back.

"John." She whispered and at the utterance of his name he tensed up. In one swift move he pocketed the knife that had just shredded her hope along with her dress, and walked away just as the Countess' carriage entered the driveway of Adderbury.

Alexandra foolishly lingered behind, her back still pressed against the tree and her lips and skin still prickling from his marks.

She managed to enter the manor before anyone saw her woeful expression and ruined clothes.

_**Too bright is my Goddess, her temple too weak;**_

_**Retire, divine image! I feel my heart break.**_

_**Help, Love! I dissolve in a rapture of charms**_

_**At the thought of those joys I should meet in her arms**_

_**~John Wilmot, To This Moment a Rebel**_

**End of chapter 24**

**Author's note: Still here? Great! Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it…Please, let me know?**

**Also, do you think the King will forgive him and allow him to come back? Hmm?**

**A small preview of the next chapter will be sent to those who can successfully guess which scene from the movie I used as reference for the two Rochester scenes in this chapter…Let me see if you can guess right…;o) **

**Until next time!**

**Xxx Lina ;o)**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Hello and welcome back! I am sorry for the delay.**

**I want to thank: whatcatydidnext, lottielovebuzz, Makrciana, Sea Rover, Blue Eye Phantom, Newland Archer, dionne dance, Gary the Snail x3, TinkerbellxO, XantheXV, Leyshla Gisel, ForeverACharmedOne and Jay D. Moore. Thank you all!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 25**

_**The good he acts, the ill he does endure,**_

'_**Tis all for fear, to make himself secure**_

_**Merely for safety, after fame we thirst,**_

_**For all men would be cowards if they durst.**_

_**~John Wilmot, A Satire Against Mankind**_

_Weeks later…_

"You called for me, madam?" Alexandra bowed her head as she stepped into the room. The drawing room smelled headily of paint since drawing pictures was the Countess' favorite pastime.

The woman paused and looked up, her face withered from worry and troubles.

"Pack your things. You're leaving in an hour." Lady Anne murmured as she went back to her picture, ignoring Alexandra's confused expression.

"Leaving, madam?" she whispered as cold fear gripped her.

She was to leave? Leave and go where? She had nowhere to go.

"I am sending you back to Woodstock. It's a marvelous thing that the King did not take back what he gave to my son, but we mustn't leave the manor unattended." The Countess looked up, "The house must be ready for my son's return."

Alexandra froze, "Return? You managed to contact him?" Her voice was laced with disbelief and unabashed hope and the Countess' expression soured.

"Of course not, you silly girl!" she snapped and Alexandra startled a little. It was magnificent how her temper matched her son's.

"Forgive me, my Lady. I was merely curious since you're sending me back." Alexandra quickly defended herself.

"You think I don't know what he's doing?" Lady Anne started, painting forgotten as she gazed outside the window, "He's wandering around London and the country, probably under one of his infamous façades…Disguised as a beggar or worse." Her eyes found Alexandra's and she was surprised that the Earl's mother was actually talking to her, a servant girl. That was proof of how lonely and utterly desperate the woman was after she had pleaded for her son's life at the King's feet.

"His company is not in the least adequate for a man of his stature. Whores and servants." She continued as her eyes perused Alexandra's form with blatant disregard and Alex tried not to flinch back because the comment-_obviously_-was for herself as well. She was not proper company for nobles…Of course.

"The news is everywhere. He must have heard the King's decision. He's just not coming back in order to spite the King and me." Lady Anne pressed her lips into a thin line of displeasure, "Me. The one who protected him."

Alexandra wanted to protest. If she hadn't given the play, there would have been no protection.

"Your Ladyship forgets that it was I who gave you the play-…"

"And you did well, because that play was not yours to keep. I won't express blatant admiration for something that wasn't yours to keep." Suddenly, the Countess stood up, her posture tense.

"You shall go back to Woodstock and prepare the manor. I imagine it must look as well as an abandoned shack at the moment."

Alexandra swallowed back her anger and resisted the urge to remind the Countess that the Earl had given her the play as a gift. Taking a deep breath she looked up, trying to push back the traitorous tears that welled up in her eyes at being treated as an ignorant child.

"Alone, madam?" she asked and the Countess nodded.

"Of course. As difficult as it is to admit it, my son won't come back if he sees I am there…And you," She took a step closer, "You know how to take care of him." Her eyes swept up and down Alexandra's form with something akin to studiousness, "I know that much." The Countess stepped to the right and with a hard look on Alex's face she pulled something from behind the settee.

Alexandra frowned as she watched the older woman. An object of medium size and covered in a sheet had been stored behind the furniture and when Lady Anne quickly uncovered the item Alexandra froze.

Her hand flew to her mouth and her wide eyes locked with the older woman's.

"This was given to me by the King. He doesn't want it anymore…You recognize it, I presume." Lady Anne murmured distantly, almost stonily, and Alexandra swallowed dryly.

"Yes, madam." She whispered as the blindingly red colors of the painting flashed in front of her eyes.

"Good. I do not want it in my house, but I fear the same cannot be said about my son. You shall take it with you because if I look at it one more time I will tear it apart." Lady Anne threw the cloth over the painting, concealing it from view and then rang the bell on her desk.

A servant appeared soon and he took the picture after a terse nod of the Countess' head.

Alexandra pursed her lips in determination and did not speak as Lady Anne approached her.

"I don't know what you think that you will achieve with your dalliance with my son, but I can assure you that your status will not change. Servants remain servants even after falling into bed with their masters."

Alexandra's head snapped up at that and anger started boiling in her veins, clogging her blood and flaming her skin.

"You are excused." Lady Anne muttered before she turned away and Alexandra came face to face with the woman's rigid back.

Without lingering a moment longer, she turned and walked out of the room with her heart pounding against her ribcage.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The manor was soaked with humidity. The walls were moist and the air thick with the smell of rain, wood and brick. Woodstock looked abandoned and the one guard that was still on duty looked bored and tired when Alexandra arrived at the mansion.

The two dogs were nowhere to be seen and when Alexandra finally found one of them lying dead on the back garden bile rose in her throat. She had demanded answers, but the guard was brisk and curt with her, informing her with a scowl that he barely had food for himself let alone for the bloody mutts.

"You've obviously never seen men suffering." He had shouted after her when she had finally given him his long due payment and walked away from him.

She had locked herself into the manor after that, hell bent to bring the house back to its proper state. She placed the painting near the hallway, ignoring it like it was the plague itself, and then proceeded to open all the windows wide. It was a cold day, but it was a little sunny. Alexandra thanked God for her luck because her bones were already aching from the humidity and chill.

The inside of the manor was like she had left it though; tidy and relatively clean aside from the usual dust and insects that had crawled their way inside.

It took her hours to go through the entire house and unlike other times she took her time cleaning the study because it still smelled like him; ink and mint. Either she was right or she was going mad.

When her feet were sore and her arms achy, in the late hours of the evening, only then did she walk back to the hall. She approached the covered picture with small hesitant footsteps and nervously wrung her hands as she stared at it. With a grimace, she leaned down and removed her shoes, letting her swollen feet touch the carpeted floor.

She put the shoes away and brushed her hands over her skirt, procrastinating, before she released an exasperated breath and finally leaned forward.

She removed the white cloth swiftly and when the drawing appeared she paused. She blinked rapidly as she tried to remember that day and her memories did not match the picture. Sure, they were depicted in detail, the features alarmingly realistic, but the Earl's expression…It was odd. It was not like she remembered it while looking up into his face that day. In her eyes he had seemed irked and bored at having to sit there, completely still and pose for the King's pleasure. But in the painting…In the painting he looked devoted in his purpose of looking like the admiring author, the creator who was looking at his muse with the utmost love and affection. It was blinding to see the illusion; the concentration on his face, as if he had nothing more magnificent to look at than her.

Alexandra leaned forward and gently traced the outline of Rochester's face. The canvas was smooth under her fingertips and she smiled a little. The resemblance was frightening, shocking and she was dazzled by it.

Taking a deep breath, she turned her eyes on herself and she was assaulted by the bright crimson color of her dress. It was like you could touch the satin and lace…All you had to do was reach out. Swallowing hard, she realized that while she had loathed doing the painting, it was the only thing that proved that anything between her and John ever existed. It was like a memory on canvas and the realization warmed her in a peculiar way that was half pleasing, half heart wrenching. What if she never saw him again? What if…What if the difficult situations of his runaway life had caught up with him? What if he fell sick and-…

A noise from the door broke her from her thought and she gasped. Quickly, she covered the painting, concealing it from view before she turned to face the wooden door.

Two sharp knocks arrived and her eyes narrowed.

"Who is it?"

"Open up! We have a visitor." The guard's voice was loud and hoarse and Alexandra swiftly opened the door.

The guard hauled someone forward and Alexandra's eyes widened when Alcock's eyes locked with her own.

"My God." She whispered as she looked at his form, "Did you fall into a swamp?" She blurted out and he grinned at her.

"Hello to you too, Alex-…Oi! You can let go of me now! I ain't no thief." He protested and the guard let him go with a sneer of distaste before he proceeded to wipe his hand clean on his breeches.

When he was gone, Alcock turned to her, one of his hands scratching at his stubbled jaw.

"Well, come in." Alexandra breathed as she stepped aside, "But remove your shoes." She stopped him with a hand on his filthy shirt and he rolled his eyes.

"Fine, fine…" He wrestled with his shoes until he took them off and Alexandra stared at him as if he was a ghost.

"Why…why are you here?" She asked him as her heart started doing dangerous somersaults in her chest.

Alcock looked up and sighed, "You mean to ask why I am here alone? Well, I'll tell you." He threw his shoes away and closed the door, "As soon as I am in front of a fire." He muttered as he rubbed his hands and headed for the parlor.

Thankfully, he didn't notice the painting.

She followed him before she paused and decided to get him a towel to clean himself up.

When she returned with the basin, towel and soap he was by the fire, warming his hands and feet.

"Here. Clean up." Her voice got caught because Alcock's presence reminded her of his master.

He looked up and nodded his head, "Thank you…"

As he removed his cloak and shirt Alexandra started getting restless.

"So, what happened to you?" She asked him as he started washing his face and neck.

He paused, his eyes narrowed, "Our lord happened." He muttered and she swallowed thickly.

"What do you mean?" she murmured.

"It means that I have had enough of this wandering about! I haven't slept in a proper bed for three months! Filth is everywhere in this bloody country! Nothing but mud and rain. My bones are soaked." He muttered as he grabbed the towel and started drying his face, neck and chest.

Alexandra blinked at him, "You haven't stayed much in London then-…"

"Nah, we have. We've been hiding in Cheapside."

His words shocked her.

"Cheapside! Under the King's nose!" she exclaimed and he nodded.

"Aye, but after Downs died we moved to the country…Is there any food-…"

"Billy Downs?" She whispered, cutting him off and Alcock paused.

"Aye…Did you not hear?" He asked and she shook her head in the negative.

"No one told me anything…" She whispered.

'Oh, aye. It was an accident, but we couldn't stay…So we left. We actually were very close to Adderbury…" His eyes zeroed on her face, "He was gone a lot while we were there…"

Alexandra remained silent, not really wanting to divulge the knowledge of having actually seen him there.

"How…how is he?" She asked and he snorted.

"His usual self. The only thing that is different is the difficulty to find himself a drink…He found ways though." He snickered and Alexandra's stomach churned at the implication as he continued, "Him and Jane are quite the pair!"

Noticing Alex's look, he stopped snickering though and cleared his throat, "Sorry, Alex."

She shook her head, "Don't worry about it…It's not your fault." She murmured and he put the towel on his lap as he looked at her.

"Why are you here?"

"The Countess sent me to take care of the house."

"The old hag." Alcock muttered, "But I suppose I should thank her, ay? I am here because of her." He snorted.

"Why did you return on your own?" She asked him and he paused, his hand reaching up to scratch the back of his head in a nervous manner.

"'Cause I've had enough of this travelling about…" he looked up, "And because I hoped you'd be here after the King's decision to spare the Earl…And I was right."

Alexandra stiffened at that, "How did you know about the King's decision?"

He scoffed, "Please, Alex. Londoners have nothing better to do than gossip in taverns and brothels these days…"

She nodded distantly, not thinking too much of the second implication he had just blurted out.

"And he just let you go?" She murmured with disbelief.

Alcock looked up at her passively, "I doubt that he noticed. He was too pissed at the time." He muttered and Alexandra's insides clenched at that.

"Why did you let him drink so much? You know how sick he gets-…"

"Like I could stop him! Christ, Alex! As if you don't know him." He cut her off sharply and she closed her mouth quickly.

She eyed him with guilt, "I'm sorry…Are you hungry?" She asked and he broke into a smile.

"Now you're talking right." He said and she couldn't help the smile that blossomed as she turned and made her way to the kitchen. The sense of familiarity was not back yet, but it was a start.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_A few days later…_

The rain was heavy and the wind wild, but Alexandra was relentless. She untied her apron from around her waist and covered her head with it as she grabbed the tray of food and opened the front door.

She could barely make out the guard's little cabin near the gates, but she couldn't let him starve. The Countess had been adamant about the manor's protection and taking care of the guard was included in her duties.

Leaving the door ajar so she could skip back in quickly, she headed swiftly for the small refuge. She knocked on the door and the guard opened, unceremoniously grabbing the wet tray and looking at her with a scowl.

"Took you long enough." He grumbled and Alexandra would have screamed at him, but she was getting too wet.

"What do you mean? And shouldn't you be out, minding the grounds?" She asked him sharply and he snorted.

"In this rain? I ain't paid for that. You might want to write to your mistress that I want all my money by the end of this month or else I'll leave, King's orders or not." He hissed before he slammed the door on Alexandra's face.

She stood there, letting her hair and clothes turn completely drenched before she shut her gaping mouth and stepped back.

"Bastard." She muttered as a particularly loud thunder shook the ground and made her jump.

Glaring at the cabin's door for one last time, she turned and headed back to the house, cursing at herself for not waking up Alcock to do the job. She huffed as she neared the door. He'd probably turn to be as rude as the guard if she woke him up in the middle of the night and during a bloody storm.

She stepped in front of the door, but something was off. It was hanging wide open and not ajar like she had left it.

Thinking it was probably just the wind, she shrugged and walked inside, closing it softly behind her.

She turned around and her eyes went straight to the floor. Water and mud stains tainted the previously clean floor and she frowned, her heart beating wildly when she realized that someone was in the house.

Cursing at her own foolishness, she swallowed hard and followed the footmarks in silence.

Good God, why did she have to be so careless? She reached up and lowered the apron from her head, letting her wet hair fall in front of her face, and stick to her neck and shoulders.

The marks led to the parlor and when she came in front of the door she froze. She quickly recovered and promptly pressed her body against the nearest wall by the door.

Water droplets were sliding down her neck as she pressed herself hard against the cold bricks with her fists tightly curled around the soaked skirt of her dress. She could feel her cold sweat mixing with the water on her skin and she shivered when locks of her hair clung to her neck and tickled it to the point of exasperation. She strained her ears and listened to the sounds coming from the parlor. The cackling of the fire was overpowered by the constant clanking of glass and her eyes widened when she realized who the intruder was. Of course. She didn't have to peer inside, she didn't have to look. It wasn't a thief or a beggar. No.

She tiptoed closer to the door and when she heard a cough and a curse, she closed her eyes. Of course he had to return like a thief. Of course he sent no word, nothing to ease his mother's worry. The woman had done everything to acquire an appeal for him and how did he return her concern? With ignorance and derision.

Actually, his behavior was exactly like his mother's when she had to do with Alexandra. Arrogance and reproach. He wasn't even aware how much alike his mother and he were. It was frightening.

Taking a deep breath, she turned around and faced the door. She placed her hand on the heavy wood and pushed against it. It did not creak and she was a little relieved. The chair was facing away from the door and so he did not notice her. Her eyes fell upon his discarded cloak and her nose wrinkled when she smelled the soil, dirt and smoke it exuded. She could see his hand as it fell over the arm of the chair and she could see his boot-clad feet, slightly outstretched from the chair.

The room was dark, illuminated only by the fire and the sporadic lightning of the raging storm.

The floorboard under her right foot creaked as she approached and she saw the difference in him as soon as he heard it. His body tensed and she heard his hungry gulp as he lowered the bottle from his lips. His hand fell to the side and she swallowed hard when she saw him shift in his chair.

"Never took you for a coward, sweet." His voice was slurred, hoarse, but his own. It made her shiver.

"By all means, _come_." He spoke louder and his voice held an odd mixture of animosity and lust in it. The sound of it made her weak in the knees.

Not wanting to postpone the torture any longer, she moved forward and rounded the chair to see him.

As soon as she did so, she gasped, her hand flying to cover her mouth at the sight of him.

He looked different, dirty and rugged, but it was him. His hair…Alexandra gulped. He had cut it off. Gone were his brown locks and in their place, his short hair looked ruffled and spiky.

As soon as he saw her, his lips twisted into a smirk and his hooded eyes perused her form with hunger.

"Well, won't you welcome me back?" He murmured as he slapped his hand hard against his thigh and cocked his head to the side. His face was the epitome of sin and she could already see what was going through his mind.

Her hands released their hold on her skirt and she dislodged her tongue from the roof of her mouth long enough to take a deep breath.

He leaned forward abruptly and his brown eyes glimmered in the fire. His hand curled around her soaked skirt and he tugged her closer roughly. He released his hold on the bottle and he let it tumble to the floor with a sickening thud. She flinched as it broke into pieces and her eyes darted to his hand which was currently creeping up his lap, sliding closer and closer to his groin.

Her eyes narrowed at the crudeness of his behavior and in a moment of fierce disappointment her hand shot out and collided with his stubbled cheek in a loud smack.

His head turned to the side and his entire body froze. His hand fell away from his breeches and landed on his knee before he did the unexpected; he started laughing.

Alexandra quickly dropped her hand and cradled it to her chest in shock. She couldn't believe she had actually hit him. But seeing him like that…after so long. It was disgraceful of him to act in such a manner.

His laughter rose higher until his voice turned hoarse. Alexandra took a step back and he suddenly stopped laughing.

His eyes fell upon her and she could see the red mark her hand had left on his pale cheek blossoming into a dark crimson.

She gasped when she realized how much force she had put into that slap. She took a step back and her foot stepped onto some of the glass. She hissed and shook her leg as he stared at her with wild eyes, his lips still stretched into his half smirk.

"Did I insult you?" he murmured and she could sense a little bit of mockery in his tone, "Did I?" He asked again and she had no words.

He was too drunk, his mind too fogged and it was of no use to reason with him.

"If your Lordship allows it, I can draw a bath-…"

"I said, did I insult you?" He barked at her with such force that spittle flew out of his mouth.

"My Lord." She hissed and he curled his lip at her.

"I mustn't have." He shook his head as he regarded her with intensity, "I know I mustn't have."

She swallowed hard and tried to understand what on earth he wanted to prove with his words.

"My Lord, you're-…"

"Because you love me enough not to be insulted, don't you?" he cut her off angrily and then he smirked, "Don't you?" He murmured more quietly and she stared at him stock still, her eyes wide.

"I…" She was at a loss for words. Of course she did, but it didn't mean she would stop caring of how he spoke and how he behaved.

"I…" Her throat was dry and the smirk disappeared. His eyes flashed and he was on his feet a moment later.

"I said, don't you?" His words were a hiss and then his hand was around her throat, his fingers curling around the tender skin with force.

Alexandra gasped as she was painfully thrust against the wall and she clutched at his arm, her nails digging into his dirty shirt sleeve.

"Of course you do." He muttered as his hot breath fell on her lips, "You love me so much that you've created this illusion in your stupid little head." His chest was heaving with the rugged breaths he took and Alexandra gasped for breath as he tightened his hold on her.

"Illusion?" she choked out and he snarled.

"The illusion that you can save me. How did it feel that after all you were the one to save my sorry arse, hmm? Did you get paid handsomely for it? Did my mother approve?" He tilted his head to the side, "Did you hope that I'd come back and fall onto my knees in front of you, my prick ready to give you the grateful fuck you so certainly deserve?" He lowered his voice and despite the wrath in them she could sense that his own imaginary was alluring to him.

She pursed her lips into an arch of determination and remained silent. Her unresponsiveness made him even angrier.

"Talk back, damn you!" He threw her away from him and she collided with the closest item which turned out to be the still covered painting.

"I don't know what to say." She whispered and he glared at her, his mouth open as he breathed harshly.

"You gave my fucking work to my mother-…"

"To save your bloody head!" she exploded and his eyes darkened.

"_Save_ my head? Who ever told you that I wanted you to _save_ me?"

"You wouldn't run if you didn't want to be saved-…"

"Shut up!"

"You wanted me to talk! So, I am talking. I only did what I had to and I won't defend myself, especially not to you!"

He froze, "Especially not to me…Do I mean so little that I don't deserve an answer to my fucking question?"

It was her turn to be still, "I didn't mean that! Why are you always twisting my words around?"

"You mean exactly the way _you_ do?" He mocked her with a derisive little smirk and she gulped.

"I really do hate you sometimes." She whispered and a strange emotion passed over his features like a shadow.

"I hate myself sometimes too.' He muttered soberly as he eyed her up and down.

He turned away from her and stumbled over to the cabinet. He thrust it open and she flinched as he slammed it shut a moment later. He turned to her with a leftover bottle of gin and uncorked it while he watched her.

"You're going to be sick." She whispered and he threw the cork away and smirked at her.

"I am already _sick_, my little saint." He took a large sip from the liquid and he hissed as it burned his throat.

"I only gave it away to help you. My intention was simple and held no ill will-…"

"Of course not!" he cut her off with a hoarse chuckle, "All you want to do is help me, save me and yet you gave away something that was meant to be private!"

"I don't care if it was never meant to be seen-…"

"But I do! Do you _fucking_ hear me? Are you really that dense? You think I feel proud now? Who am I?" He outstretched his arms wide, "Hmm? Who am I? The Earl of Rochester who doesn't _have_ a pound to his name, but he does have some worthy work and a mistress who'd do anything to keep his _head_ on his shoulders! That is who I am." He let his arms drop to his sides as he regarded her with reproach, "Pathetic." He hissed as he brought the bottle to his lips.

Alexandra hugged her arms, "If that is how you feel…then I am sorry." She whispered, "My Lord." She added and his eyes snapped up to hers at that.

"Are you mocking me?" He murmured and she swallowed dryly against the bile that was already bubbling in her throat.

"No." She took a step back and when her hip collided with the picture his eyes went to it.

"What's that?" He asked hoarsely.

Alexandra tensed up, "Nothing."

She had never thought that his return would have been so…ugly. But reality was always harsher than dreams.

"Show me." He started walking towards her and she stepped in front of the painting.

"My Lord-…" She gasped as he gripped her arm and pushed her aside. Holding her to his side with one hand, he pulled the cover away from the picture and then everything went very quiet.

"You kept this?" He whispered as he turned accusing eyes on her.

She steeled herself against his gaze, 'It wasn't mine to give away." She said at last and he nodded.

"Is that so? It wasn't yours…I see." He took one last sip from the gin and then thrust it in her hands.

She caught it as he strode forward and grasped the painting. She watched with wide eyes as he leaned down and slid a small pocket knife out of his boot.

Watching her, he drew the blade through the painting again and again, and then dropped the knife. Without a word he turned and threw the pieces of the drawing into the fire with a snarl.

Alexandra's heart clenched as she watched him destroying something that meant something to her, but she didn't speak. A tear slid down her cheek just as he turned around.

"Why are you crying, Alexandra?" he murmured, "That meant nothing."

"Of course it meant nothing." She whispered, "Everything means nothing to you." She took a step back and then placed the bottle on the ground.

She straightened and then gave a low bow of surrender.

"I shall prepare you a bath and you will accept it because you need it. Then you can curse at me some more because I suppose that would be another sign of care from me and another sign of weakness from you. And then you'll once again ponder on the question _why_ your always _faithful_ mistress is not ready to please you and then, at the realization of your thoughts, you're going to get angrier until you find me lacking once again." She looked up at him and saw him watching her with anger, "I guess that is how it is…How it's always been between us. You've always rued my softness, but always indulged in it. What does that make you?" she murmured as she walked a little closer to him, "I wonder…" she started and his eyes roamed her face as she spoke, "If the situation was reversed, would you even _bother_ to help me? Or would you stand back and watch me drown in my own sea of mistakes?"

A long silence stretched between them and the smoke rose higher from the fireplace as the canvas got caught up in flames. The smell of burned paper and paint was heavy in the air and Alexandra started feeling dizzy from the scent and his stare.

She stumbled back and away and he caught her arm before she could make it far.

"Alexandra…" His voice held a warning, "Be careful of how you speak to me." He murmured and his dark eyes widened in warning, his voice slightly slurred.

"I could say the same, but I suppose I am not your equal, yes?" She whispered as she blinked rapidly, praying for the bloody sting to leave her eyes alone.

"Alexandra." His voice was sharp, cutting in its severity, but she had to be honest.

"But I am not, right? I am not like you and I won't ever be. That's the truth." She shook her head and his fingers dug in her skin threateningly.

_"Alexandra."_

"I am _just_ a servant." She let out a tiny, bitter laugh, "A servant who got lucky, but like your mother said, I won't get very far just because I opened my legs for you."

"Shut up, Alexandra!" He hissed as he shook her, but she nodded her head, the words leaving her mouth like an unstoppable stream now.

"I guess it's not much of an improvement, is it? I went from servant to mistress, but I can go no higher. Because I am _just_ an object." She waved her hand around the room, "You could even sell me if you so wished it! That would earn you a few pounds since you have none, right? How much do you think I'd be worth? Ten, twelve pounds, or maybe even more! I suppose you can always flaunt my willingness to sleep with any indulging master in order to get a higher price-..Ah!" Her head was whipped to the side by his open palm.

She raised her hand to her cheek to sooth the sting of the slap and before she could look at him, his fingers, his dirty fingers, were firmly grasping her chin in a fierce hold. He turned her face around and then his lips were on hers, rough and demanding. She could feel how chapped and dry they were as they devoured her own and she dropped her hand from her cheek as his hand slid to the back of her neck to pull her closer. He smelled of smoke and rain and as he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer she could tell that his clothes were also wet.

His tongue slid into her gasping mouth and as a tear rolled down her cheek and fell onto her lip he pulled back and sucked it in his mouth, his tongue laving at the salty skin with hunger.

Thunder lighted up the room as he thrust them against the wall by the fireplace and his hand moved down her body to grasp her thigh. He pulled it up, using it to trap himself in the apex of her thighs as he pressed his groin hard against hers, causing her to gasp into his mouth.

Her hands grasped his shoulders as he kissed her more deeply, his hips moving against hers in the same tempo of his harsh kiss. When her hands slid up his neck and touched the skin there, he groaned and she intensified her efforts, her fingers finally finding his short hair and playing with it as he grunted and moaned into the kiss.

With a sharp bite that had her head reeling, he pulled back and slapped his free hand against the wall by her head, his face finding shelter in the crook of her neck as he pushed his pelvis again and again against her soft body, drawing his pleasure from her with greed.

Her lips parted in a gasp as her body responded to his assault and her hips bucked against him. Her mouth found the skin of his rough cheek and she kissed it, her fingers curling around his shirt at the feeling of his hot skin against her lips.

He released a low sound, but it was followed by a moan that was not elicited out of desire.

He stopped his movements, his hips stilling as he slipped a hand to clutch at his stomach.

Alexandra's hands grasped his arms as he hauled himself away from her and she let go of him as he turned away.

"My Lord." She whispered as he coughed, but when the coughing turned into dry heaving she leaped forward. Her hands had barely caught his head as he doubled over and vomited all over the floor and her skirts.

His hands found the hard ground as he heaved, his mouth parted and his eyes wide, but he pressed his head against her cool palms and his gaze flickered towards her.

"John?" She whispered his name and he mumbled something incoherent before his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He dropped onto her feet in a heap of limbs.

Alexandra tried to catch him, but as his weight fell on her she went onto the floor with him. Hysterically, she pulled his head on her lap and she touched his forehead. When she found it burning she screamed in unadulterated fright.

**End of chapter 25**

**Author's note: Thank you for reading! I hope it was worth the wait. Please let me know with a comment? My only payment is your feedback so, give me some, people!**

**As you might have already gathered, I took some stuff from the film for this, as well as the historical truth of his constant illness…Yep, the alcohol bothered him and made him ill, but he drank it nonetheless…**

**Anyway, comments?**

**Until next time!**

**Xxx Lina ;o)**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Welcome, welcome! I want to thank: Makrciana, Sea Rover, MissMisc3, whatcatydidnext, XantheXV, Sunny, Newland Archer, Gary the Snail x3, TinkerbellxO, Leyshla Gisel, ForeverACharmedOne, dionne dance and lottielovebuzz. You are all wonderful!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 26**

_**Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.**_

_**Mark Twain**_

Her hands trembled from nervousness as she carried the tray to the chamber. A thin layer of sweat was making her skin shimmer, but she ignored the feeling of fatigue as soon as she heard the awful dry heaving that was coming from the Earl's bed. Quickening her footsteps, she pushed the door open and she saw Alcock leaning towards Rochester with the chamber pot in hand. Abandoning the tray on the desk, she approached the bed.

"I'll do it." She said quietly and Alcock turned to her with a grimace.

"Thank God." He muttered as she took his place.

Rochester looked up and sneered at his servant.

"Idiot." He muttered as he tried to regain his breath.

Alcock smiled sheepishly and started walking away.

"Go check on the guard! I haven't seen him doing his rounds today." She called and Alcock paused before he nodded.

"I wonder why…" He looked at her intently and she sighed, looking away from him. The Earl's household wasn't the richest one at the moment.

Alexandra pushed away the chamber pot as the Earl leaned back against his pillows, his face a grimace of distaste.

She watched as he drew the back of his hand across his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut against the violent churning of his stomach.

"Again?" she whispered and he simply shook his head from side to side.

She hesitated before she reached out and picked up the soaked cloth from the basin. She wrung the extra water and then tentatively placed it upon his forehead.

He grunted and sharply pushed her hand away along with the cloth.

"No." He hissed and she frowned.

"The doctor said that it helps with your fever." She objected quietly and he opened his eyes.

"No. Too cold." He shivered and turned his head away.

Alexandra abandoned the cloth and regarded him carefully for a few moments before she spoke, her voice soft, but firm.

"That is the whole point." Her voice was scolding, but she did pull the covers higher up his form.

"Let me sleep." He murmured drowsily and she shook her head.

"No. Not before the fever's down. The physician said-…"

"That I might never wake up! Yes!" He turned his angry gaze towards her, "That is exactly the point!" His lips curled in a sneer and she slowly shook her head, her eyes swollen from fatigue.

"How easy would that be…" She started and he snarled at her.

"Sinfully so." He fired back.

Alexandra leaned forward, "Oh, yes. And how posthumously famous you'd be." She murmured as she leaned so close that her breath fell on his lips, "John Wilmot, the Earl of Rochester who died because of alcohol poisoning. Wonderful way to be remembered."

Rochester smirked, "What makes you think I care?"

She blinked and then smiled, "Of course you don't." She nodded her head, "I know that much. If you did, you'd never leave and abandon your children in the care of a woman you surely resents her own son."

"I thought my dear mother saved me." He mocked and she shook her head.

"No, _I_ did."

He cocked an eyebrow and chuckled weakly, "Arrogance doesn't suit you, Alexandra. You're far too soft for it." He pressed his head back against the pillow and she found herself missing the way his long brown hair would cover the silky fabric in waves.

"Pretending that you don't care if you live or die doesn't suit you either, my Lord. Too brave for you." She retorted calmly, provokingly and his eyes narrowed and then darkened.

"I won't get into a quarrel with you." His voice startled her with its resigned tone and she leaned back, puzzlement obvious on her face.

"Why _must_ we quarrel in the first place? Isn't there a middle?"

"I don't care for middles and right now I don't care about your silly thoughts either." He looked away, silently dismissing her and it hurt.

"You son cries at night, do you know that?" She asked him suddenly and she saw his shoulders tensing up, "He misses his mother and now he thinks he has no father either."

"And you care why? It's on my conscience." His voice had an eerily quiet tinge to it and she stared at him, wondering if he believed anything he said.

"Your daughters refuse to return to Adderbury because they feel that no one is waiting for them." She pressed on, needing, wanting to provoke him and get a response out of him. She needed to know if he was as heartless as he pretended to be.

"Ah, my mother is not the warmest of women." His reply caused Alexandra's nostrils to flare.

"And now you're being cruel, John."

He turned his face sharply towards her, his lips curled in a grimace.

"I thought I always were." He replied and Alexandra's shoulders fell in defeat.

"Now you're a liar." She shook her head and he scoffed.

"That is a word that can never be used to describe me."

"Oh? Really? So am I to believe that you don't care about anyone?" She exclaimed as she placed her hands upon her hips.

"That's right." His voice was a tiny whisper and Alexandra blinked.

"John." She started and he inhaled sharply, his eyes closing for a moment.

"Don't speak my name in such a manner." He hissed at her as he turned dark eyes on her, "Just because I am here at your mercy doesn't mean that I will allow you to speak to me like I am your equal. After all," He smirked mockingly, "Last night you yourself claimed that you aren't. As a matter of fact I should think about selling you. I am sure a woman of your talents would have great success in the King's court-…"

"My Lord." She cut him off, her voice as cold and cutting as ice, "I assure you. After so many months under your _tutelage_, you would even get a bonus from the King. You're a great tutor in _many_ fields." She took a step back and she watched as several emotions passed over his face, but one was the more prominent one; possessiveness.

Not looking at him, she turned and reached for the tray.

"You wench." She heard him murmur in an odd tone as she picked up the cup of water.

"Do not ever think that you can leave me." He informed her as she returned to him and brought the mug closer, "I doubt you could please the King anyway. All he likes to do is _sit_ there. Reversing roles is not your forte."

Alexandra paused, "Insulting my skills in the bedroom is a weak argument, my Lord." She started as she ignored the sting in her eyes, "But I do have a question." She leaned forward until her hair was brushing his cheek and neck, "If you hate me so much, why don't you dismiss me?" Her voice quivered and he took a deep breath, releasing it with a sigh.

"I don't…" he started, but he stopped himself short, "Get out, Alexandra. I want to sleep." He muttered as he turned away from her, closing his eyes and shutting her off.

Alexandra was glad to be dismissed. She disappeared quickly in a billow of skirts and so she missed the brown eyes that followed her with self loathing.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"I don't understand what you're saying." Alexandra started and Alcock nodded his head in agreement, "You are paid to do your work, not slack off in the back garden with a bottle of gin."

The guard shrugged, "I ain't getting paid so I ain't going to do my work."

Alexandra took a step closer, "Lower your voice. Have you no respect at all? You are in the house of an Earl."

He snickered, "Some Earl he is."

"Lewis!" Alcock hissed and Alexandra nodded.

"Alright, what do you want?"

"Me money."

"You got your money-…"

"Nah, ma'am. That what last month. What about now? The King ain't paying for me expenses anymore and the-…"

"Lewis!" A voice rang in the air around them and Alexandra flinched while Alcock smirked.

"Now you'll get it, prick."

"Alcock!" Alexandra gasped and slapped his arm, but Rochester's voice came again.

"Lewis, get in here. _Now_."

The guard gulped and straightened before he headed for the room next door.

Alexandra leaned weakly against the desk and then followed after the guard with depredation.

"Me Lord." Lewis acknowledged with a tiny bow as Alexandra joined him and the Earl sneered at him.

"Leave the respectfulness aside. We both know it is not sincere." Rochester leaned forward and gazed at the man, "Who do you think you are?" He asked very quietly and the man didn't look up.

"Woodstock's guard."

"Yes…Indeed. What is your duty?" The Earl started as if speaking to a child.

"T-to guard the manor."

"Oh? Really?"

Alexandra almost laughed at the look on Rochester's face. It was a combination of mock amusingness and shock.

"Aye."

"And what have you been doing so far?" The Earl asked more darkly and the guard looked up then, defiance in his gaze.

"I haven't been paid, me Lord! How am I to work when-…"

"Who is responsible for your payment, Lewis?" Rochester cut him off and Lewis frowned.

"You, me Lord."

"Me, yes." The Earl threw the covers away and swung his feet off the side of the mattress, "So why the fuck have you been complaining to my housekeeper? Hmm? Because she's a woman and she can't handle you?"

Alexandra gaped at him, "I can-…"

"Shut up, Alexandra." Rochester hissed, his eyes widening in warning and she quickly shut her mouth.

"I was told you was sick, me Lord. I didn't-…"

"But I wasn't sick to listen to your annoying horsy voice coming from my study, yes?" Rochester glared at the man and then reached for his nightstand, "If I hear you complaining while others haven't gotten paid in months I will cut off your prick and feed it to the pigs." He threw a pouch of money towards Lewis and he caught it clumsily, "Am I clear?" He murmured and the guard nodded quickly, his eyes wide with shock.

"Good. Now get out of my sight." The Earl dismissed him with a curt wave of his hand and Lewis quickly departed from the room with gleeful eyes.

"There goes my payment." Alcock muttered from the doorway and Rochester growled.

"Shut up, you idiot!" he hissed and Alexandra swallowed hard, "If he goes to the King and make complaints they might take Woodstock from me! Now shut up and go and take a bath! You smell like a pig." Rochester leaned back against the bed and rubbed his temples while Alcock grinned.

"Aye, me Lord." He disappeared and the Earl shook his head in irritation.

"Idiot." He muttered and Alexandra bowed her head, ready to leave, but his voice stopped her.

"Wait."

She froze, not sure if she was ready to get into another fight with him.

"My Lord?"

"Come here." He looked up at her, his expression resigned and his eyes alight.

She gulped, "Um…"

"Come here." He repeated quietly and she moved forward.

"I need some water and some mint." He murmured and she nodded before she quickly poured him a cup and handed it to him. He tried to sit up, but he was too weak.

"Help me." He muttered and she placed a hand on his back, supporting him as he drank.

After a few sips, he pulled away and nodded, "Now the mint."

Alexandra stepped back and reached for the box in which he held the leaves.

"Perhaps you should eat something light first? I have soup."

"Not now. Give it to me." He shook his head and parted his lips in invitation.

Carefully she placed the mint in his mouth and she watched as he chewed. He sighed and closed his eyes, obviously glad that the taste of vomit was washed out of his mouth. After some time, he spat the mint into the chamber pot and looked up at her as she stood next to the bed.

His hand reached out, his fingers moving forward to touch a fold of her skirt. She startled and almost flinched, and he paused with his hand in midair.

His eyes locked with hers and she watched him as he swallowed hard, a painful expression on his face.

"Do not fear me, sweet." He started and she blinked in surprise, "You're the only person who…" He closed his eyes and let his words trail off.

"I…I do not fear you." She whispered and his eyes opened.

"Lean forward." He murmured and she hesitated briefly before she obliged. His fingers touched her cheek, brushing gently over the faint red mark there and she shivered.

"I do not hate you, Alexandra. How could I?" He murmured hoarsely as his fingers hooked on the hair behind her ear.

She licked her dry lips and reached up to cover his hand with hers.

"You're always so angry with me…Most of the times I don't even know what I do wrong-…"

"Shh," he hushed her and pulled her forward, his lips parted and his eyes hooded, "No more words."

Her eyes widened as he closed the gap between them and kissed her. Her nostrils flared at his still smoky scent and she gave in to the surprisingly soft kiss. His fingers brushed over her naked earlobe and he paused, his tongue lingering on her lower lip before he pulled back a little.

"Where are your earrings?" he murmured.

"I…"

"Did you lose them?" His features were confused, his eyes narrowed.

"No…They are in my chamber." She replied a little guiltily and he inhaled sharply.

"I see." he muttered, "Wear them."

"But I can't be seen with such jewelry while the-…"

"I said wear them. You want to please me, don't you?" He asked her more quietly, his voice a seductive melody that caused her skin to tingle.

"My Lord."

"Yes, you do…You crave to please me like I-…" He stopped himself in time and she blinked in confusion.

"Like you what?" she breathed and he took a long breath.

"Wear them. Now prepare the tub for me. I am filthy." He released her with a last kiss on her nose and she straightened.

With a last, puzzled look at him she walked away to do his bidding.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Finally." He muttered as he leaned back in the tub, the warm water up to his stomach.

Alexandra shook her head, "It was your choice to leave." She reminded him and he rolled his eyes.

"I cannot imagine myself without a head." He told her as she lathered up a cloth and started washing him.

She passed it over his shoulder and he smirked a little. The image he made reminded her of his old self a little.

"Is that right?" she mused and he nodded as he reached out and picked up the cup from the low stood to his side.

"Hmm…How would I kiss my wench if didn't possess a mouth?" He wondered out loud and she broke into a small smile.

"You'd be better off without it…It is too dirty." She rubbed the cloth over his chest and he grinned a little. He brought the cup to his lips and once he took a whiff he grimaced and growled.

"Chamomile?"

"Hmm. It will help you relax."

"I am relaxed enough."

"I don't think so." She shook her head as she touched his still warm forehead.

"I am not an invalid." He murmured as he took her soapy hand and guided it towards his thigh, "Surely you could give me something _stronger_." He pressed her hand between his legs and she pursed her mouth, giving him a sharp squeeze in retaliation and causing him to hiss and chuckle hoarsely.

"Your rough manipulation will have the opposite effect, my dear. Surely you know that." He drawled huskily and she slapped his hand away.

"Actually, I don't." She muttered as she continued washing him, ignoring the darkening of his eyes.

"You awful wench." He muttered as he reluctantly took a sip from the warm liquid.

Alexandra smirked a little and he growled.

"Oh, don't look so pleased. I am just tired of vomiting all over my bedcovers." He snapped as he put the cup away and grabbed the soap from her hand to lather his hands. He let the soap drop to the bottom of the tub and then reached for his stomach, slipping his hands lower.

Alexandra sighed and reached inside the water to find the soap and she froze.

"What are you doing?" She whispered as her hand bumped against his.

He leaned back and regarded her with hooded eyes and a crooked smirk, "Well, I had to take the matter into my own hands so to speak." He groaned softly and before she had the chance to pull her hand from the water he grasped it with his free one.

"Don't blush." He murmured as he pressed and curled her hand beneath his own, pulling her closer in the process, "I've missed you." When her fingers touched him he moaned quietly and leaned forward to catch her mouth.

Alexandra reached out to hold onto the bathtub with her free hand, trying to steady herself as he kissed her.

"All the while I've been missing you." He breathed into the kiss and when her hand moved on its own he placed both hands on her face, cupping her cheeks and pulling her in for another kiss.

"And then I hurt you." His teeth bit into the tender flesh of her bottom lip and she gasped when he hardened even more in her grasp.

A hoarse moan echoed in the washroom as he bucked and his lips parted in a fierce snarl.

"You've always brought out the worst in me…You make me mad and then you go and make me feel ashamed." His hand covered hers again and he squeezed her fingers around his arousal, pulling her into another kiss.

Alexandra pulled back and his eyes opened, watching her, studying her until he groaned and reached his peak with a choked gasp.

"Alexandra." He breathed as he slumped back in the tub and pulled her hand to his lips, kissing her fingers one by one and then her wet palm.

"I've missed you too." She murmured breathlessly and he looked up at her before he grinned.

"Come here." He whispered as he pulled her closer, his fingers hooking on her neckline and tugging sharply, "Get out of that."

"My Lord." She gasped and his eyes narrowed.

"Don't dare deny me. Get in."

"John." She shook her head and he groaned.

"My name upon those lips is the most seductive of sounds. Be careful when you say it." He said with a groan of desire.

She laughed and he inhaled deeply.

"Send word to Adderbury tomorrow." He said as he brushed his nose against hers.

She paused with wide eyes, "Adderbury?" she whispered and he nodded.

"Send an invitation for my son." He replied shortly and Alexandra's heart thundered wildly in pleasant surprise.

"Alright." She murmured with a smile and he rolled his eyes at her expression.

"You silly nit." He cupped the back of her head and pulled her to him, ready to haul her into the tub, but then a voice interrupted them.

"Me Lord! Me Lord!" Alcock's voice earned a groan from the Earl and Alexandra quickly pulled back.

"Me Lord!"

"What?!" Rochester barked and Alexandra giggled a little.

"There is…There is someone here for you!" Alcock called from behind the door and Rochester frowned.

"Who?"

"Lady Castlemaine." Alcock replied and Alexandra gasped while the Earl scowled.

"What does the King's whore want with me?" He muttered and Alexandra clicked her tongue.

"My Lord."

He groaned and pointed towards his robe, "Hand me that and then go out to welcome the _lady_."

She brought him his robe and he slipped into it. He tied the knot and when she gave him a pair of dark breeches he rolled his eyes.

"Let the show begin." He muttered as she walked out of the room.

He waited for a few moments before he took his leave too, his expression bored.

When he arrived at the parlor and saw Lady Castlemaine's face he realized with an inward smirk that the woman meant business; serious business.

**End of chapter 26**

**Author's note: Thank you for reading! I know, shorter than usual, but for a reason! Why do you think Lady Castlemaine is there? Hmm? Thoughts?**

**Until next time!**

**Xxx Lina ;o)**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Welcome, welcome! I come bearing gifts! A new chapter! :D And guys, over 400 reviews? Wow, you are all wonderful and generous! When I started this I never thought that anyone would want to read it…Hmm…**

**So, a huge thank you to: Karma-Beads, MissMisc3, PGAEmma, Newland Archer, Sea Rover, Makrciana, Gary the Snail x3, Leyshla Gisel, TinkerbellxO, dionne dance, XantheXV, lottielovebuzz and whatcatydidnext.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 27**

_**At last you'll force me to confess**_

_**You need no arts to vanquish:**_

_**Such charms from nature you possess**_

'_**Twere dullness, not to languish;**_

_**Yet spare a heart you may surprise**_

_**And give my tongue the glory**_

_**To scorn, while my unfaithful eyes**_

_**Betray a kinder story**_

_**~John Wilmot, A Song (1676)**_

Lady Castlemaine accepted the cup of tea and shot a glance towards Alexandra who pulled back with the very obvious intention of leaving.

"You may stay, Alexandra. What I have to say is no secret to you." She spoke up and Alexandra quickly looked at the Earl who was sitting calmly on the settee, his feet up upon the cushions and his arms dangling from the edges.

Rochester eyed Alexandra with bored eyes before he nodded his head at her and pointed towards a chair. She was shocked to say the least.

"Do sit down, pet." He murmured as his eyes flickered towards Barbara, "After all it's just the royal mistress here, not the Queen herself." He smirked when Lady Castlemaine glared at him.

"You do realize that my position wields more power than the Queen's, no, my Lord?"

"You do realize that you're in my manor, no?" Rochester shot back and Barbara simply took a sip from her tea.

"I am not here to quarrel with you." She informed him flippantly and his smirk turned darker.

"Ah, but I do so enjoy it."

"Must I remind you that I have no problem striking if I become offended?" She cocked an eyebrow and Alexandra's eyes widened.

Rochester sat up from the settee, his robe unashamedly parting to reveal his pale chest and taut stomach.

"Must I remind you that a little pain can bring pleasure?" He murmured as his eyes quickly perused Alexandra's sitting form.

Barbara snorted, "Your reputation doesn't make you justice, my Lord. What would people say?"

Rochester's eyes turned sharply upon the royal mistress with severity.

"Since when do I care about what people say, madam? And what is there to say?" He reached out and grasped his glass of water from the tray on the table.

"What is there to say, my Lord? Alright, I shall make a list." Barbara gently put the cup away and placed her hands elegantly upon her lap.

Alexandra eyed her with depredation.

"First you are given a commission, a very generous commission to create a piece of prose for the King's pleasure and you do what?"

Rochester smirked and raised a hand, "Ah," he breathed huskily, "But I did write a piece. Why, the King has it in his possession and from what rumor says he plans to stage it as a production of the King's Company." His eyes are narrowed as he gazes at Barbara.

"The rumor is true…"

"But it will not be attributed to me." His voice is sharp and cruel.

Lady Castlemaine blinks calmly, "We will arrive to that in due time, my Lord. As always you're too hasty…"

Rochester slammed the glass on the table, rattling it and Alexandra inhaled sharply, wondering how much more it would take for him to snap.

"Do go on, madam."

Barbara smiled, "You show a vile play in the presence of the French ambassador when you know how…precarious the balance is with France."

"I'm a writer, madam. I do have the right to become sarcastic or political." The Earl's tone was quiet, but firm. He knew he was right.

"Not when you're ordered by the King, but that is not my point." She smoothed a hand over her voluminous skirts before she went on, "Then you insult the King, you flee London while you know how much it will displease his Majesty and finally you leave one of your friends to die alone."

"I assure you, madam, he didn't die alone. I saw the light leave his eyes…and it was not the first time I was witness to such an event." Rochester was glaring at Barbara fully by then and Alexandra could actually _feel_ the room pulsing with tension.

"I know. You speak about the war. But this is not a war, my Lord…Not yet anyway. I must, however, congratulate you." She paused and her eyes fell upon Alexandra who tried hard no to flinch.

"Speak clearly, madam." Rochester spat at her with disdain and Barbara smiled.

"Your quick temper is not a rumor then. Alright, I must say that I am surprised that you have managed to ensure a safe return. Like every man in peril you relied on a woman to save you from sea's murderous tidal waves. So, in my humble opinion, Kings do not differ so much from commoners or noblemen."

Alexandra felt her cheeks flush while the Earl leaned back in his chair, seemingly unaffected.

"It is a great thing indeed. You of course are talking about my mother." He said with obvious mockery.

"My Lord, I am talking about your mistress." Lady Castlemaine replied with a weary expression, "Forgive the boast, but I am not dimwitted."

"Of course not. It is rather obvious from the speed with which you climbed the social ladder. I would compare you with Alexandra in that department."

Alexandra turned to look at him with shock, but he was not looking at her.

"A beauty, with looks that could enslave a man's heart at first sight, and yet so poor that you had to lie on your back for the King's pleasure in order to become something other than a pretty courtesan. The only difference is your disposition. You see, sometimes slaves _can_ feel. But not in your case, madam. So, I'd advise you not to compare yourself with my mistress. Now, I am tired of this chatter. What is it that you want?"

Alexandra couldn't breathe after his speech. She was well accustomed to him to know that the insults were meant not for her, but for the woman sitting so smugly in front of him. Nevertheless, he was right in almost everything. She was still a slave and she was…well, nothing.

"You forget, my Lord, that I married an Earl."

"Mr. Palmer; an Earl with not a drop of noble blood in his veins. He was merely crowned one so you can achieve some measure of royalty. So, that your illegitimate children can have a name." Rochester deadpanned and it was obvious that his words were having an affect on the Lady.

"From your words, I would think that you favor the Queen." Barbara's eyes narrowed and Rochester actually laughed.

"In all honesty, the Queen has done nothing to cause my wrath. It's not her fault that she cannot bear the King's offspring. I only pity her because she doesn't have any real power. It seems to me that the real power is held by the likes of you, madam."

"I know that you don't like me, my Lord, or any of the King's mistresses because you're jealous. You always have been jealous of us because of your fear of being cast away. And it seems like you have been cast away…"

"You're wrong, my Lady." The Earl drawled with a devious smirk, "I do appreciate another lady in court. One that has enchanted the King for a while now. A lady who is very likely to be the new amorous pursuit of the King's love. Why, what is her name…"

Alexandra watched with increasing disbelief and a little amusement as he placed his finger on his lips, looking as if he were in deep thought. The man was playing with fire.

"Um…Oh, yes! Yes, indeed. I remember her now. I even wrote a poem in her honor. The beautiful English rose, Ms. Nell Gwyn. Why, she looked positively ravishing during her latest performance." He blinked innocently while Barbara seemed ready to smack him, "Alexandra, we must go and see the wonderful Ms. Gwyn as soon as possible. I have missed her."

Alexandra narrowed her eyes at him, but he only sent her a tiny wink that set her skin on fire.

"I take it you have private knowledge of not only her acting abilities then, my Lord."

"Madam, I am not after _every_ actress on the London stage. It'd be too dull. I find myself drawn to humbler creatures as of late."

Alexandra abruptly stood up, ready to excuse herself, but he caught her wrist before she had the time to make a hasty exit.

"Sit down, Alexandra. I did not order you to leave, did I? We have a guest." He pushed her back down on the seat next to him and Alexandra tugged her hand free.

"You must be aware that she is pregnant then." Lady Castlemaine bit out coldly and Rochester stared at her in surprise.

"Sadly, such wonderful news has not yet reached me." Realization suddenly dawned on his face and he smirked, "Ah, my, my…Now I understand what has you in such a fit."

"Women like me, do not get into fits, sir."

"Oh yes…Of course. You only quarrel like a wench in heat with her Majesty, the Queen." He startled when Alexandra reached out and curled her fingers around his knee, squeezing sharply in warning.

"That was in the past." Barbara snapped in agitation.

"I do so remember, for I was just a lad." Rochester grinned at her and her eyes darkened.

"Why you dislike me, my Lord? I truly wish to know." She murmured coldly and the Earl sobered up.

"I think you're vile, madam, and you must excuse the straightforwardness. I find it despicable that you, a woman of no virtue at all, has accomplished so much while others have to sit back and endure your presence in the palace. In my opinion the Queen should have banished you from court long ago. It wouldn't take much effort really."

Alexandra swiftly pulled her hand back, but he caught it and captured it in his own, forcing it upon his thigh.

"Vile?" She seemed shocked.

"Everyone remembers the Queen's devastation when you gave birth to the King's child in Hampton Court, while his Majesty and she were celebrating their marriage away from London. Even at the time it had seemed ridiculous. Quarrelling with the Royal consort, paying your lovers with the _King's_ money, cheating on your husband and forcing the King's offspring as his legitimate heir so he wouldn't, at least, lose the dukedom? Pitiful. You're below the woman you came here to insult with your insinuations."

"I've come to insult no one-…"

"What are you offering me, madam? I'm rather tired and frankly, I have little interest in your woes." His lip curled in disdain and Alexandra could only stare at him. It seemed odd that a man like him would feel sorry for the Queen. Hell, most people had forgotten that there _was_ a Queen.

Lady Castlemaine seemed shocked, her almost violet eyes wide with fury and her cheeks flushed with color.

"I hardly think you are the appropriate man to give me lessons in morality and humility. Where you by any chance in love with the Queen, my Lord?"

Rochester snorted and released Alexandra's hand in order to stand. "My goals were never that high."

"Oh yes…I have yet to offer my condolences about your wife…But I can see that it'd be pointless." Barbara's eyes came to rest on Alexandra who tensed up.

The Earl paused on his way to the window and his spine stiffened in anger.

"Do not presume to know anything about my marriage, madam."

"I must ask the same. Do not presume that you know everything about me, my Lord." She stood up as well and Alexandra found the opportunity to step away, towards the door.

"Our situations are mildly different, my dear madam."

"Not so different, John."

He turned to face her abruptly at that and she smirked, "What? Only whores can call you by your name?"

"Why, madam, I could not distinguish you from one." He sneered cruelly and she rolled her eyes.

"You want permission to get back to court. I can help you to get back on the King's good graces if you help me get rid of Ms. Gwyn." Her voice was quiet and Alexandra had to strain her ears to listen.

"If you want to murder her, you are knocking upon the wrong door."

"That won't be necessary. It will take very little to convince the King that his child, his latest heir at least, is not his."

Alexandra opened her mouth, ready to speak, but the Earl's hand rose up to stop her, his eyes flitting towards her in warning before he turned his attention back to Lady Castlemaine.

"You want me to claim that I have carnal knowledge of the King's latest mistress?" he cocked an eyebrow.

"It wouldn't be too difficult. Everyone knows your flair for actresses…and servants." Barbara smiled and Alexandra quickly redefined her opinion about the woman. She was a vulture.

"My good lady, you're so practical, but foolish." He grumbled, "You don't want Ms. Gwyn's children to have succession to the throne. You wish to ban them from their rightful rights." His eyes swept her face and form and Alexandra held her breath for his actual response.

"I must do what I must do."

"And how would that help me, madam? It'd push me deeper down."

"Not if I were there to talk for you."

"You?" Rochester sneered and shook his head, "I fear you're the only one who has yet to realize that the King has stopped favoring you for years now. I am sorry, madam, but if I wanted help from the King's…official _sperm-pots_ I think the safer choice would be my dear Ms. Gwyn, not you." He brushed past her and ran a hand through his short hair with a grimace, ""After all, this child is not the only one Ms. Gwyn has borne. I think age is not treating you well, madam. Now, would that be all?" He sounded impatient and Alexandra feared that his foul mood had come back to stay after this…peculiar visit.

Lady Castlemaine remained still, staring at him in shock, obviously surprised that her plan hadn't worked. She was most certainly surprised that a fallen nobleman like Rochester hadn't quickly given in to ensure his return back to court. But her plan…her plan was hasty and foolish.

Blinking out of shock, Barbara calmly picked up her cloak and made her way out of the parlor. Alexandra stepped aside to let her pass and the woman eyed her with something akin to envy and anger before she walked away, not waiting to be escorted outside even when Alcock jumped behind her, mumbling farewells and staring at her back with wide eyes.

Alexandra swallowed hard and then jumped, flinching when the crash of broken china echoed in the large parlor like vicious bells. She whirled around only to see the broken teacup on the floor by the fireplace and the Earl's robe billowing behind him as he whirled towards the large windows.

"That cunt!" he hissed as his eyes followed the carriage that was pulling away from Woodstock's driveway, "Barging in here, insulting my intelligence with her basic comments. Thinking herself so witty when she is nothing but a highly paid prostitute!" He slammed a hand against the glass and snarled, "A hole for the King to use and then discard away for the sake of something fresher." He pushed away from the window and started pacing, his hands balled into fists, "And what a plan! A stupid one! I only hope her intelligence is not passed over to her poor sons!"

Alexandra watched him, her eyes following his frantic movements, "Now your Lordship is being mean. I admit her plan was…"

He looked up at her, his eyes alight with expectation, "What?"

"Not so clever since when an infatuation is over…it is truly over. There's no turning back." She murmured as she walked towards him and kneeled in front of the fireplace to gather the broken china.

"You're speaking from experience?" His voice was odd and she looked up at him only to find his eyes below her chin.

"I've never been infatuated with anyone, my Lord." She informed him and he blinked before he turned away and resumed his pacing.

She looked away and started putting the pieces on her apron in order to discard them.

"Dimwitted woman…As if I'd help her. Her of all people. Do you know why she smacked me in public? Because I was kind enough to pay her a compliment. Wench. She didn't even deserve it. She's nothing but a thorn. Boasting her success, behaving like she's the Queen of England since I can remember! As if! I'd be glad to see her cast aside. The softer sex has yet to create another woman of her sort and conduct. I'd rather die penniless than beg for her help."

Alexandra slowly stood and cleared her throat. He turned to face her with a sneer.

"What?" he snapped.

She took a deep breath and removed her apron, putting it aside as she approached him.

"She is right about something though." She started softly and a frown appeared on his face.

"She is?" he grumbled.

"Hmm. It appears that his Majesty is greatly swayed by his lovers…" She fiddled with her hands, "That is why you dislike them anyway….Right?"

Rochester scowled, "Women are no good in politics."

"And yet, men are always tempted by a female opinion…At least in this Kingdom. Let us not forget Henry Tudor."

He snorted, "What an example. Famous womanizer and he sent both wives to their deaths because he couldn't tell if they were bloody virgins or not. I'd gladly give him a few anatomy lessons." He wrinkled his nose and Alexandra flushed.

"So, maybe, since you have a fondness for Ms. Gwyn, she could help you get back to court?"

The Earl paused and regarded her slowly, his eyes gliding over her with burning intensity.

"I'd gladly stay away from court if I had my commission back." He muttered bitingly, "But I care more about the play. _My_ play. They might as well give the authorship to bloody Dryden! Disgrace. The man can hardly spell." His lips curled in anger, "Or worse, they might even attribute it to Etherege. That'll be wonderful. Bloody idiot will probably have Barry play the heroine." His eyes fell upon her then and he sighed, "All this fuss is making my head ache." He collapsed in an armchair by the fireplace and reached out a hand towards her, beckoning her closer.

"Come sit on my lap." He murmured, his voice barely audible and she hesitated briefly before she complied.

His arm curled around her waist as she sat on his knee and he took hold of her hand, threading their fingers together, his mouth up against her neck in a firm kiss and his eyes closed.

"I feel so tired. I'm exhausted, but I cannot sleep. Not until I have this household up and running again." He pulled away from her neck and rubbed his fingertips across her stomach, "Well then…" he started huskily, "I think I shall need to make a public appearance tomorrow. It's been a while since I've been at a playhouse. Let us see how prettier Ms. Gwyn is these days…" His dark eyes locked with hers and she shivered when his fingers squeezed her own almost painfully.

"I haven't forgotten how much you've missed me, pet." He pressed an open mouthed kiss on the top of her right breast, "And no one can call me selfish." His tongue gently laved at the skin and she gasped, her arm curling around his shoulder in reflex. His teeth bit down on the soft skin before he suckled greedily and she wriggled in his hold in slight protest.

He chuckled against her skin and pulled back, "Afraid I'll mark you?" he murmured hoarsely with a devious smirk, "Don't worry, sweet. The marks I'll leave won't be visible by the human eye."

With that threat- or promise-, he pushed her off his lap and stood up.

"I need to write a letter first and you need to send word to Adderbury for Charles. When you're done go to my chamber. It will get dark soon." He started walking away, but he paused at the threshold, "And if the guard gives you any more grief, send him to me."

She gazed after him as he disappeared towards the direction of his study.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

She had felt him slipping in behind her on the bed earlier and she had basked in the warmth of his arm around her waist, pressing her face back until he had to tuck her head under his chin in order to properly lie down on his pillow.

Now the hand was gone from around her waist, the space behind her empty and the covers were no longer covering her form. Her thighs were parted, stretched to an almost uncomfortable point and she could feel the cool air of the room on her bare skin. She frowned in her sleep, her mouth parting in confusion when her hands were seized by another pair and pushed up against the pillow.

Her knuckles sank into the fluffy cushion as longer fingers curled and threaded through hers tightly. Her inner thighs were disturbed by the rough texture of worn linen and her eyes flickered behind her eyelids at the sensation.

Hot, moist lips found hers and she inhaled deeply at the familiarity of the scent that took over her senses. Her mouth fell open and when the velvety wetness of a tongue breached the seal of her lips she whimpered, jerking underneath the body that was restraining her.

The lips and tongue disappeared and she felt warm breath on her face. "Did I frighten you?" His voice reached her ears and she slowly opened her eyes to encounter his smirking face, "You should have known better than to tempt me with your peaceful slumber. How I envy you." He breathed without any real venom in his voice and Alexandra was suddenly too much aware of the nightdress that was bunched up around her thighs and of his own posture above her. He was kneeling between her parted legs, his breeches open and his arousal hot and heavy against her thigh. She suddenly wanted to bolt at the look in his eyes.

"I thought you were asleep." She whispered, but his only response was to lean forward, his eyes never straying from her own.

"Sleep can never be achieved next to you without desire plaguing my dreams. I must sate it first or it will consume me." His eyes roamed her face as he pulled their joined hands to his mouth. He kissed her fingers and then slipped her hand lower, over her stomach and down towards his straining arousal.

"Don't you feel like that for me? Ever?" He frowned a little, but his doubt was not enough to push the shadows of lust away.

Alexandra was gasping for breath by then and when he let go of her hand, leaving it hanging by him, and dived for the apex of her thighs she choked on a moan.

He grinned and his fingers touched her teasingly, playing with her and causing her to close her eyes.

"I asked you a question." He dictated in a quiet murmur as he blew hot air on her gasping lips and her eyes flew open, her arm already curling around his lower back, pressing into the dip of his waist, pulling him closer to her.

"Always." She breathed and for a moment he stilled until he blinked out of his daze and slanted his mouth against hers with force.

He released her hand to lean down closer and she wound her now free arm around his shoulders, pressing into him, arching off the bed in an effort to be closer. His palm slid under her shoulder blades, supporting her back and pulling her flat against his chest as he kissed her hungrily, his tongue attacking her mouth with dexterity, moving along with the rhythm of his rubbing fingers.

She groaned into his mouth, her hips moving against his ministrations, not really knowing if she wanted to press closer or wiggle away.

He stilled her with a hand on her hip and she nearly gasped at the loss of his touch. He chuckled against her moist cheek. She hadn't even realized that she had been sweating and she flushed at the smug, husky sound of his amusement.

"Patience is a virtue, my darling." He whispered in a low voice as he rubbed her bare hip with smooth fingertips and then slipped them down her trembling thigh to her knee. He gripped it tightly, hooking his fingers underneath and pulled it away from her body, his nails digging into the pale skin, creating red crescents that made her hiss.

He chuckled again and rubbed his hand up and down her back, kneading the clothed skin with reverence as he leaned down to her mouth again.

"Thank heavens I have none." He breathed before he snapped his hips forward and slid into her with a hoarse, but barely audible grunt of surrender.

Alexandra gasped loudly, the air leaving her lungs with each thrust of his skillful hips, her fingers curling around the material of his baggy shirt until he caught her hand and slammed it against the pillow by her head with a growl.

Her eyes snapped open at that and she watched his face going slack with ecstasy as he managed to go deeper. She whimpered at the sharp sting of his movements and she bit down on her lip, her thighs shaking with tension as she let him move as he pleased.

He groaned and cursed and slammed his hand hard against her palm on the pillow as he picked up the pace, driving her hard into the mattress with every thrust and twist of his hips.

"John." His name was breathed in the air between them and he frowned through his pleasure. His mouth found hers again and his fingers released hers to slide down her side and around her stomach. His touch relaxed and soothed the burning inside her and he smirked triumphantly against her lips, satisfaction oozing out of him in waves at the poof of his skillful manipulation of her body.

She opened her eyes just in time to see him and she inhaled sharply before she curled her legs around his waist, trapping his hand between them and squeezing hard with her thighs, so hard that he gasped and pulled his hand away from her body.

"Fuck." He hissed as he closed his eyes and groaned loudly, his fingers grasping her chin in a tight grip.

Brown locked with green and Alexandra allowed herself to smile a little.

His eyes narrowed at her expression and he sank his hand in her locks, grasping a fistful of her hair and tugging hard as he thrust harder. She gasped and her own fingers found the bare skin of his waist, her nails digging sharply into the pale skin and causing him to give a loud grunt that vibrated inside her. He fell over the edge with hoarse groan that resembled her name and she gasped for breath as he fell on top of her.

She curled her arms around him, pressing him to her tightly, not allowing him to roll away.

He gave a sigh of resignation and laid his cheek on top of her heaving chest, his eyes heavy lidded and swimming in sated need.

"That…" he started hoarsely, "was far from perfect." He murmured and she looked down at him as she rubbed the back of his bare neck with her fingers. She already missed his long hair.

"My Lord?" she breathed, breath still labored.

He stared at her for a long moment before a slow grin curled his lips upwards. His hips ground down against hers and she inhaled sharply as he started sliding down her body only to pillow his head on her soft stomach. His fingers slipped beneath her nightdress and she swallowed thickly.

"For you." He continued as his seeking fingers found their target.

"How about you and I…" he smirked when she blushed a deep crimson, "make a public appearance at Ms. Gwyn's latest project? Hmm? Stupidity has never worked better than this. The royal mistress might just be the cause of my triumph. Don't you think so, my love?" He stared into her eyes, but the only thing that Alexandra heard was the last two words that were uttered in the softest of ways and poured over her like warm, sweet honey. She was lost. Again.

_**My rifled love would soon retire,**_

_**Dissolving into Aire,**_

_**Shou'd I that Nymph cease to admire,**_

_**Blest in whose Arms I will expire,**_

_**Or at her Feet despair.**_

_**~John Wilmot: A Pastoral Dialogue between Alexis and Strephon (summer, 1674 at the Bath)**_

**End of chapter 27**

**Author's note: Ahem, still here? Great! Thank you for reading! Comments, please? I need them to feed the muse! :o)**

**Also, all the things mentioned about Lady Castlemaine are true. Once again, I must bow to the power of Wikipedia! Like seriously! Lol**

**Until next time!**

**Xxx Lina ;o)**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Hello, lovelies! I am back with another chapter! I hope you like it. But first I want to thank: Makrciana, lottielovebuzz, TinkerbellxO, dionne dance, Newland Archer, XantheXV, Gary the Snail x3, MissMisc3, Leyshla Gisel and flow3rchild21. You are all the sunshine in my muse's morning! :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 28**

'_**I have for the first time found what I can truly love-I have found you. You are my sympathy-my better self-my good angel-I am bound to you with a strong attachment.'**_

_**~Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte**_

A light chuckle reached her ears and she frowned, her nose wriggling at the soft noise. Her cheek felt a little clammy as it was pressed up against the smooth, but heavy fabric of a coat. An arm was around her shoulders and fingers were threaded through her hair. Her eyes flickered behind her shut eyelids and she parted her lips only to close them when something tickled them.

She felt her pillow vibrate and she let out a huff. Stirring, she reached up to push away the source of the obnoxious tickling, but every time she brushed her chin and mouth with her fingers the tickling returned with more insistence.

Curious and slightly annoyed, she opened her eyes. At first she saw only darkness, but then a hand reached out and parted the leather window lid to the side. The soft evening light illuminated the carriage cabin and her eyes widened. Shooting up in alarm, she looked around and locked eyes with him.

"Why did you do that? I was having such a wonderful and riveting time while annoying you." Rochester leaned back in his seat and regarded her with mild amusement.

Alexandra blinked. Once, twice until her eyes went wide.

"What on earth? Where am I?" she exclaimed and then she looked down at her attire. A simple dark green dress was hugging her body and she could feel the corset hanging loosely from her waist.

"You…You put this on me? Why?" She looked up at him and he smirked.

"Well, my dear, I've told you before. When I want something, I get it no matter what. Why did you think you could deny my request? Don't you know that you don't have the strength to do so?" Abruptly, he leaned forward and grasped her shoulders.

"Unbelievable." She squeaked when she was pulled onto his lap. His fingers made quick work of the laces of her dress and then his hands were inside, grasping at the corset strings.

"Stand still." He murmured, but she could hear the smirk in his voice.

"I told you that I didn't want to come." She started slowly.

The Earl didn't reply. He simply curled his fingers around the strings and started pulling; hard.

She gasped and clutched at her stomach at the sudden pain and held onto his thighs for support, curling her fingers around the fabric of his dark breeches.

"My Lord." She started, slightly breathless, but he only continued pulling at the corset until her spine was a straight line.

"Alexandra, why do you always refuse to be seen in public with me?" His question caught her off guard.

"Pardon?" she whispered as he tied a firm bow and then started pulling the dress further up her shoulders. The emotions hidden in that single sentence of his caused her stomach to clench.

"You heard me. Is there something wrong with my company?" There was venom in his voice and she swallowed hard.

"No, my Lord. How did you ever arrive to such a conclusion?" She turned to look at him from over her shoulder, but he sharply reached out and turned her face away by pressing hard on her cheek. She complied with wide eyes and bit her lip.

"I don't know. It's not the first time you refuse to follow my suggestions."

"It was not a suggestion. It was a command." She murmured.

"It's the same thing, isn't it?" His hands paused in their task and she frowned, her cheeks flushing with mild anger.

"Then why bother call it a suggestion?"

"Alexandra."

She ignored the curt utterance of her name and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Well, then we are even." She informed him and there was a moment of silence until his fingers climbed up her shoulders. He let them rest on her hair, simply playing with the ends before he spoke.

"Even?" he breathed.

"Of course. I opposed to your order and you took advantage of my tired state in order to take me with you when I was deeply asleep."

Suddenly, he started laughing. Alexandra's flush reached the roots of her hair at the sound.

"A mighty accomplishment, my pet." He said as he tugged playfully at her hair, "You sleep like the dead." He whispered into her ear, "Sometimes I wonder how you can sleep so soundly…Maybe because your mind and conscience are both well rested and in peace…" His voice trailed off and she suddenly felt bad.

"I slept like that because you were next to me." She murmured in a barely audible voice and he inhaled sharply. His thighs jolted under her backside and his feet brushed up against her calves in an effort to be closer.

His hands moved and his fingers wove themselves deeply in her loose hair while his chest brushed up against her back.

"I am the reason of your peace. That's what you are trying to say?" His lips brushed her ear and she could feel his hot breath on her neck. She shifted upon his lap and tilted her head in an effort to bring his fingers closer to her scalp.

A small sound escaped his throat at her movement and the next thing she felt were his fingers on the back of her head, close to her nape, pressing and massaging with slowness.

"Yes." She found it useless to lie.

He exhaled heavily behind her and he moved one of his hands from her hair. His fingers curled over her shoulder, briefly squeezing it tightly before they slipped down to her side. He curled it around her stomach and his fingers danced over the fabric of her dress before they skimmed upwards. They passed over her tightly bound chest until they found the naked skin of her collarbones.

"Then why do you see my desire to have you with me as a command? Don't you know that you are far more precious than the air I breathe?" His lips closed over her earlobe then and his tongue laved at the sensitive skin.

A small smile spread on her lips and her skin prickled with warmth, causing her to lean back against him. Her hand covered his own upon her skin and he laced their fingers together before he proceeded to dig his nails into the skin underneath their joined hands. She gasped at the sting and then the fingers in her hair turned vicious. He tugged hard at the roots of her hair until she had to rest her head on his clothed shoulder.

"Answer me." He hissed into her ear, his chest heaving behind her.

Her lips parted wide and she gasped for breath before she pulled her hand from his in an attempt to grasp his wrist.

"My Lord." She whispered, "You know it's the same for me…How could you not feel it?" She turned her face towards him and there was a crease between his eyebrows.

"Feel what?" he almost grumbled, reminding her heavily of a petulant child.

"That I denied in order to protect you. What happened is still fresh-…"

"It's been over six months." He cut her off as he eyed her face with intensity.

"Still, the King himself could be at the playhouse…If Ms. Gwyn is his lover it's even more possible for him to be there."

"I do not fear the bully that dares to have the title of a King." He grimaced in disdain and Alexandra slowly turned in his arms. She was surprised when he allowed the movement and when she brought his hand to her lips his lips parted.

"And yet he can do much worse than banishing you from court…"

"You had nothing to do with my own choices. I do not see how your absence would provide protection." He paused and then he smirked, "On the other hand…if you are with me I could use you as a shield."

She stared at him incredulously until he started laughing at her expense. She flushed and decided to pull his curly wig off his head in retaliation. His laughing ceased and he narrowed his eyes before he freed his hand from her grip and ran it roughly down her front.

"You'll pay for that. Removing the effects of an Earl inside his own carriage?" He clicked his tongue and then cupped her roughly through her skirts. She wiggled in his hold, but then he wound an arm around her stomach to keep her still.

"No, no." he chuckled darkly, "None of that, my love. Let's think of your punishment…" His eyes zeroed on her mouth and a wicked glimmer flared up in them, causing her to go absolutely still.

"Good girl…" His lips teased hers, brushing against them until she leaned forward to kiss him, but he evaded her attempt by pulling back. He chuckled and pressed his lips and tongue against her cheek.

"We have a little more time till London…Now, what should I have you do? Hmm?" His palm ground hard against her and she gasped.

"Should I put your mouth on me or take you as you are?" He bucked under her, pushing himself up against her backside and she groaned.

"I think you'd enjoy the latter though…So, no…" She could feel his devious grin against her cheek and she turned her face towards him, seeking his mouth and he chuckled, indulging her for one moment, flittingly brushing her lips with his own before he pulled back.

"I've been thinking about your mouth for a while now." He murmured, pressing another kiss on the corner of her mouth and she shivered, "Would you do it?" he whispered and her palm found its way onto his cheek, cradling it and his eyes closed for a moment.

"Anything you want." The words were out of her mouth in a rush and his eyes opened, heavy and dark and a smile found its way upon his nicely shaped lips.

"Is that so?" He pulled her hand away from his face and he slowly pushed her off his lap. For a moment, her eyes went wide, but then he pushed her on her back on the squab. His hands grabbed at her legs and he turned onto the seat until he was facing down towards her. His eyes travelled down her body and his fingers dived underneath the skirts of her dress. They encountered soft flesh and he groaned. He pushed the dress up with a shaky hand and then his fingers were on her undergarments, ridding her of them.

"John." Her voice was laced with alarm and desire all the same, but he clamped a hand over her mouth.

"If you want to speak," he paused to push her undergarments to the floor, "so much," he grinned as he pushed her knees up towards her chest and leaned towards the apex of her thighs, "then you may speak of the nights you were alone. Without me. Do not spare me the details. Is that understood?" He smirked and then his face disappeared under her dress.

When his tongue laved at her inner thigh she gasped loudly and when his lips fastened around the skin and started sucking her eyes squeezed tightly shut. She parted her lips in an effort to speak, to say what he wanted to hear, but when his mouth fell upon her warm and wet, every word vanished from her head, leaving her numb and delirious under him. She didn't know if the sharp stings of his nails upon the skin of her thighs were evidence of his displeasure, but he didn't stop. He didn't stop until she had to beg him to.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"This way, my Lord. Two seats at the highest box as you requested." The man bowed and parted the curtains for them to pass.

The Earl dropped a few coins on the man's open palm and then dismissed him with a wave of his hand.

Alexandra watched him move and tried to keep a neutral face on. It amazed her that after everything he was so calm and composed. She could see how people were gazing at him; some with admiration and some others with incredulity. They were probably wondering how he dared to show his face in public, in London, while the King had banished him from court.

"Sit." His command startled her and she turned to look at him. He had already taken his seat and he was tapping his hand on the armrest, waiting for her to do the same.

Clearing her throat and nodding at the attendant by the curtains, she took her seat in the seat beside him.

"Lose the blush, Alexandra. People will wonder why you're embarrassed." There was a smirk on his lips and then he clapped his hands, his head slightly tilted towards the attendant standing behind them.

The man quickly moved, coming to stand by the Earl's chair. "My Lord?"

Rochester tapped his walking stick against the floor and then his eyes did a quick perusal of the theatre.

"Tell me, Brown, is the King here tonight?" he murmured and the man cleared his throat.

"We're not sure, my Lord. He has not arrived yet…But they say he sometimes stays backstage and out of the crowd."

Rochester brushed his lower lip with his thumb and Alexandra was embarrassingly reminded of where those lips had been minutes ago. She shifted nervously in her seat and looked away.

"How's the theatre going?" Rochester's question was slightly laced with amusement and Alexandra had to look back at him.

"Wonderful, my Lord. The reprisal of the _Mad Couple_ has been a great success." Brown rushed to give praise and Rochester smirked.

"Is that so? With the same protagonists from the 1665 production?" he questioned quietly while waving his fingers in a circular motion.

"Indeed, my Lord. Mr. Hart is one of our finest actors-…"

"Yes, yes." The Earl cut him off sharply, his curled mouth an obvious sign of his amusement, "We all know that." He shot a quick glance towards Alexandra who almost giggled at his condescending tone.

"Now, once the play is over, I want an audience with Ms. Gwyn. Do not have me wait. Understand?" He looked at Brown who nodded eagerly.

"Yes, yes, my Lord! Whatever your Grace desires…If I take notice of the King, I shall-…"

"We're done here, Mr. Brown. You're excused." Rochester cut him off with an imperious hand and Brown shut his mouth.

"My Lord…" he paused, "Shall I bring refreshments? Some fruit perhaps?" He suggested and Rochester looked at Alexandra who simply shook her head in the negative.

"A glass of wine. Nothing more." The Earl muttered and Brown bowed low before he disappeared.

Alexandra's eyes moved away from the Earl and fell onto the box next to them. Frowning, she leaned to her left to speak into his ear.

"My Lord?"

"Hmm?" He didn't take his eyes from the gallery.

"Who is the lady sitting at the King's box?" she asked and Rochester's brow furrowed.

"What?" He turned and glanced at the box to their right. He paused, his eyes taking in the blonde, frail looking young woman before he shrugged.

"I don't know. It wouldn't surprise me if she were one of his newest lovers…If Ms. Gwyn is with child then he might not want to endanger her for the sake of his shameful lust." He snorted at a joke that only he knew and Alexandra frowned.

She leaned back in silence. Not long after, the curtains rose and the play began.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The walk towards backstage was laced in silence.

"Do not speak unless spoken too…The King might be lurking around back here." Rochester spoke in her ear before he pressed a kiss to her temple.

He reached out and parted the drapes with his cane, leaning forward in order to pass through the slit.

Alexandra followed his example and as soon as they were inside a blur of skirts and dark hair threw itself upon the Earl's person with force.

He nearly stumbled and dropped his cane in order to get a hold of the menace that had just pounced.

Alexandra watched with wide eyes and an increasing feeling of suspicion as Nell Gwyn herself proceeded to cling to Rochester's body like a child.

"You rogue." She slapped his back hard and pulled back to look at him, her beautiful face a pout, "You finally remembered me?" She accused and the Earl chuckled. His response earned him another slap on the arm and an openmouthed kiss from the actress. On the lips.

Alexandra's nostrils flared and apparently someone noticed.

"You must be the maid!" she exclaimed, pronouncing the word good naturally and making it sound a compliment instead of an insult.

"Um…yes." Alexandra replied and the actress let go of the Earl to come towards her, her slightly rounded belly slightly exposed from her thin gown.

"He hasn't put his bloody tongue in about you…For months now. Lovely to meet you, Alexandra." Gwyn outstretched her hand for a shake and Alexandra blinked in surprise before she took it and shook it gently.

"Likewise."

Nell released her and turned to Rochester who was in the process of exploring her dressing room. He lifted a thin black shawl and cocked an eyebrow.

"The King's gift." He rubbed the black lace between his fingers and at her nod he released it with a grimace, "Lovely."

Nell narrowed her eyes, "I know what you want…As a matter of fact, I was shocked when you didn't appear earlier…" she was smug and he raised both eyebrows this time.

"Is that true? Am I so transparent? As transparent as your flimsy lace?" He pursed his mouth in interest, "I am at a loss here, madam…"

Nell walked over to him, "You are rather obvious because I know you, my Lord. Have you forgotten that?" She patted his stomach to make her point and Alexandra looked at Rochester. He eyed her from over Nell's shoulder and smirked.

"Careful, or I'll think that you miss the old times." He murmured and Alexandra averted her gaze, "Pray tell, what have you planned?" he asked and Nell laughed.

"Oh how you know me, my Lord. I am a respectable woman now. I must think of myself…and of my friends."

"Respectable? You're the King's mistress." He pointed out and she grinned.

"And I have thrown aside the _Catholic_ _whore_."

He laughed, "That you have."

"Then you must know that like always I do have something up my sleeve." She took a step closer and Alexandra busied herself with the costumes that were lined up on a settee to her right.

"You have made a lot of mistakes, John. You must be aware of that. After your wife's death everything went downhill…I give you my condolences because I didn't have the chance to do so earlier."

"You didn't like Elizabeth." Rochester's words were sharp and accusing and Alexandra looked back at them.

Nell Gwyn stepped closer, "You are mistaken. I simply misunderstood her devotion to someone like you." At that she turned and eyed Alexandra who froze, "Almost as much as I do hers."

The Earl leaned down and picked up his cane, smacking it hard against the floor, "Mind your business, Nell. I won't judge your choice to be the royal mistress despite how poor that choice is." He warned with a slightly curled lip, "Now, since you know why I am here, what is in your mind?"

"What's in yours?" She placed her hands upon her belly and rubbed them over her gown.

Rochester turned away from her and started pacing. He passed in front of the mirror and came to Alexandra's side, briefly caressing her arm before he turned to Nell again.

"I was told my play will be the newest production of-…"

"Of Theatre Royal." She finished for him.

"Yes." He narrowed his eyes, "Won't I have a say in the matter?"

"It depends, my Lord."

"On what? And are you supposed to be the heroine or will they hand the rights over to Duke's?"

Alexandra watched as he twirled the knob of his walking stick between his long fingers; an obvious sign of his agitation.

"Yes…It is possible that I will be in the play…And it depends on your decision."

"What decision?" He nearly barked.

"My Lord…" Alexandra trailed off and he turned towards her, but she had her eyes elsewhere.

They were trained on the entrance.

Rochester tensed up, but bowed like the two women in the room.

"Your Majesty." He murmured.

The King walked in, surprisingly on his own and without any guards.

"So, the lost sheep has finally found its way back to the flock and to its…shepherd." He murmured and Rochester's fingers tightened around his cane.

"Like I always knew it would. Welcome back, Johnny." The King drawled, "I see you have brought your muse with you…A pity she didn't last long under my protective wing…She would have flourished, but…"

Alexandra held her breath because she could feel Rochester's anger vibrating in waves from next to her.

"Indeed, Your Majesty…Indeed." He looked up at him from under thick eyelashes and smirked, "A pity she was more loyal to me."

Alexandra's eyes widened and she saw Nell delivering a sharp smack on the Earl's buttock in response. Thankfully it was not seen by the King who was busy gazing at Alexandra.

"A pity indeed. You may rise." He muttered flippantly and Rochester straightened while glaring at Nell who smirked at him.

"How long has it been since your return to Woodstock?" The King asked and Rochester frowned.

"Over a month."

"Hmm…Indeed. And how long has it been since Lady Rochester's death?" The monarch questioned as he started pacing.

Alexandra followed him with her eyes, dreading his next words.

"Over seven months…Your Majesty." The Earl replied through gritted teeth.

"Indeed…It's been a long time then…I suppose your punishment was well earned…You defied me, John. Again." The King stepped towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Rochester eyed it like it was the plague. "It's in my nature, Your Highness. Surely you know that." His mouth twitched into a grimace and the King eyed him with speculation.

"I have received several letters of plead from your mother…It seems like you are defying her too…But I am willing to help you if you are willing to help me in a private matter." Charles smiled and Rochester looked at him with suspicion.

"Private matter?" he murmured.

"Indeed. Nell." The King turned to his mistress who cleared her throat.

"Yes, well, His Majesty has come up with a way of…atonement for you, my Lord." She started, but her eyes flickered towards Alexandra.

Alexandra stiffened at the look in Nell's gaze. It was…peculiar.

"Atonement?" Rochester gazed at Nell, "Pray, what can I do to redeem myself in your eyes?" he asked with a touch of bite and the King smiled before he stepped aside.

"I suppose you have not met Mary, have you?" he asked and the Earl frowned.

"I beg your pardon?" he exclaimed, "Who is this Mary you are speaking of?"

"Mary Crofts." Nell spoke up and Rochester looked at her, "She is the daughter of Lucy Walter."

The Earl paused at that and his gaze flickered between the King and his lover. "Lady Mary? It's been a few years since I last saw her. She was nothing but a child at the age of fourteen."

"She is no longer a child." Nell started.

"And she is not a Lady yet." The King added.

Rochester smirked, "Ah, yes. Her…fathering was…questioned…And yet she was one of your favorites." He looked at the King with mirth, but Alexandra already knew that it was no laughing matter. They wanted something from Rochester and they would get it.

"She still is, but the public still thinks her to be illegitimate…"

"But she is. The Queen didn't bear her." Rochester added and Alexandra bit the inside of her lip hard.

"Even your mistress knows when you must stop talking, Johnny. Follow her example and be quiet." Charles' voice was sharp and the Earl looked Alexandra before he bowed in surrender.

"Do go on, Your Majesty."

Charles smiled with satisfaction and walked towards the drapes. He beckoned someone inside and then turned to face Rochester.

"It' a pity she is here, but…" The King said while looking at Alexandra and Rochester frowned.

"I don't understand." He started, but the King held a hand up to stop him.

"Come in, child." He called and the drapes were parted by a small, pale hand. The blonde woman from the box appeared, her small frame trapped in an ivory gown that accentuated her flaxen tresses. Tiny dots of freckles were marring her clear, but slightly plain face and her honey brown eyes were lowered.

Rochester cocked an eyebrow as soon as the woman approached and his gaze flickered to the King.

"I still don't understand…" he trailed off as he looked at Nell who had her head lowered.

"I'm sorry, Johnny." Her apology was barely audible and it ruffled the Earl even more.

"You're making me feel like a fool-…"

"I present you Lady Mary Crofts." The King cut him off and Rochester seemed surprised that the woman in front of him was the child he had met ten years ago.

He tried to catch her eyes with his own, but she was refusing to look at him. She looked as frightened as a wounded deer.

"Your Majesty…" Rochester trailed off with confusion, but then Charles smiled.

"I present you with the future Lady of Rochester. Congratulations." He clapped his hands in satisfaction and Alexandra's eyes snapped up to the King with such speed that she got dizzy.

The Earl flinched and took a step back, his knuckles white around the handle of his walking stick before he turned to look at Nell who was avoiding his gaze. He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again, his eyes flickering between the King and Ms. Gwyn with such incredulity that was palpable in the air around them. Alexandra could taste his disbelief in the air she breathed.

And then, his gaze changed course and fell upon the Lady Mary who was still staring at the ground with wide eyes. He regarded her like she was an alien thing before he approached her. He came to stand a breath from her and Alexandra followed him with her eyes, her stomach clenching and her heart beating wildly inside her chest. She ignored the humiliation they had just forced onto her and stared hard at him, watching him and trying to read him.

Rochester's nostrils flared as he looked down at the young woman, but then he spoke.

"Lady Mary." His voice was strained, but the woman looked up at him slowly, hesitantly inclining her head in response.

"Your Majesty." He murmured next before he sidestepped both father and daughter and headed for the drapes, "Alexandra, come." He completely ignored Nell before he disappeared behind the curtains.

Alexandra followed him in a billow of skirts.

The King watched them go and then he smirked, his hand on his daughter's shoulder.

"Don't worry, my sweet. He'll be back." He said to her, but Mary only looked at Nell who had her cheek in the cradle of her palm and swallowed hard.

"That's what you get, Johnny. That's what you get for defying me." Charles muttered before he turned and walked out of the dressing room. Both women curtsied low.

_**Then talk not of inconstancy,**_

_**False hearts, and broken vows,**_

_**If I by miracle can be**_

_**This livelong moment true to thee**_

_**Tis all that heaven allows.**_

_**~John Wilmot, Song: Love and Life, 1677**_

**End of chapter 28**

**Author's note: Ahem, still here? Great! Thank you for reading. Were you expecting that? What do you think will happen next? Hmm? Will he agree? And if so, what will happen with Alexandra?**

**Comments, please! I hope this chapter made up for the wait! Let me know!**

***Info: Mary Crofts was the child of Lucy Walter. Lucy Walter was one of the King's mistresses and Mary was supposedly his daughter, but no one was very sure about that. That is why Charles wants to marry her with an Earl. To give her a proper title; one that would ensure her place in the peerage because it was believed that she was one of his favorites.**

**The **_**Mad Couple**_** or **_**All Mistaken**_** was a Restoration comedy and one of the first appearances of Nell Gwyn upon the London stage. The play was written by James Howard.**

**Charles Hart was an actor and lover to Nell Gwyn. He was also the protagonist of the **_**Mad Couple.**_

_**Catholic Whore**_** was a name attributed to Lady Castlemaine at the time…**

**Did I forget anything…? Nope. Right.***

**Until next time!**

**Xxx Lina :D**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Hello and welcome! I want to thank the people who took their time to review the last chapter: ****Makrciana, lottielovebuzz, Newland Archer, Malsie19, TinkerbellxO, guest, PGAEmma, dionne dance, Jay D. Moore, XantheXV, MissMisc3, Gary the Snail x3 and Leyshla Gisel. You are all awesome!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Libertine.**

* * *

**Chapter 29**

'_**What is poet? An unhappy man who hides deep anguish in his heart,**_

_**But whose lips are so formed that when the sigh and cry pass through them**_

_**it sounds like lovely music…And people flock around the poet and say: 'Sing again soon'- that is 'May new sufferings torment your soul' but your lips be fashioned as before, for the cry would only frighten us, but the music, that is blissful.'**_

_**~Soren Kierkegaard **_

The shutter kept slamming hard against the window's sill. Alexandra could hear it from downstairs. Looking at Alcock with sharp eyes, she gave a faint nod and the servant winked at her, turning his attention to the child in front of him.

Leaving them behind, she slowly made her way up the stairs. Her feet felt heavy as she walked and her heart was firmly located deep in her stomach as she did so. It had been in there for the last few days. She had decided to ignore the empty hollow that was her chest and she focused on other things instead. The house, cooking, gardening, feeding the dogs…trying to live with the Earl…trying to live with herself.

The study door was firmly shut, but Alexandra was determined to get in there no matter what. Knocking once and not expecting a reply, she burst her way into the room, her hands on her apron and her eyes on the desk.

"My Lord?"

She found him in his chair. His desk was untouched, as if he hadn't moved a single thing out of its place and the air was musky with the scent of burned wood and drink.

He didn't look at her as she entered and when she started approaching him, his fingers flexed. He had his back turned to her and she was surprised when she saw something squirming upon his lap. A wiggling tail greeted Alexandra and she cocked an eyebrow.

"Is that a…" She started and then the puppy, which happened to be a spaniel, jumped off the Earl's lap, abandoning its perch in order to sniff some of the furniture.

"A dog. Are you blind?" He muttered as he cradled his head in his fingers, his mouth curled up in a scowl.

"What is it doing in here?" She asked instead.

There was a pause and then the scraping of a chair alerted her of his movement.

"It was sent to me." He muttered as he eyed the puppy.

Alexandra swallowed hard, "Oh? From who?"

He looked up at her sharply, "From my fiancée of course." He hissed and Alexandra swallowed thickly, "She was informed of my son's arrival and she sent it as a present to him."

"That…is very gracious of her." She started and he snorted loudly.

"Don't be ridiculous!" he snapped, "That girl wouldn't even dare piss without proper invitation, let alone send a gift to a man!"

Alexandra watched him as he started pacing.

"I had the urge to smother the dog." He murmured.

"Instead you were stroking it." She pointed out and he paused by the window, looking at her through the glass.

"It's not its fault that it is a mean to an end." He narrowed his eyes, "This is all a game."

"Game?"

"He wants to see if I will obey like a good loyal subject. I bet he will even offer me a dowry."

"It's the King's daughter-…"

"It's the King's bastard! If she was his daughter she wouldn't need to ensure her place in the line of succession by marrying an Earl. He wants to test me…"

Alexandra curled her fingers around the folds of her skirt, "You knew all your actions would have some repercussions." She whispered.

He whirled around to face her, a storm raging in his eyes, "You are fortunate enough to judge me." He approached her with a sneer, "I daresay you're luckier than me. More free than me. You may be a servant, but no one has made any demands from you just yet. Consider yourself lucky you are no lady." He didn't wait to see the hurt in her eyes. He turned away again and ran a hand through his growing hair.

"My blood isn't all that important and he knows it. He could have her wedded to any man he pleased…He is the King of England. She is a perfect Catholic. There are plenty of them around even though our dear monarch has a taste for both kinds of Christians. He is no Bloody Mary."

Alexandra watched him and had the urge to scream.

"Yes. It is obvious that he is doing this on purpose. A favor for a favor. You should consider yourself lucky that you still have your head…That both of us do."

Rochester turned towards her, "You value your head more than your freedom?" he murmured, "More than doing as you wish? Of course. You are a commoner. Your kind is always keeping it simple because that's what you are; simple things. Uncomplicated things. How charming of you to see a marriage of expedience as something sort of wonderful. Of course. Your kind exchanges brides with pigs and cows. I imagine this is something you are rather familiar with, my love."

He stopped a breath away from her and snarled, "Too bad I don't value my freedom as little as you do."

"What is freedom, my Lord? It seems to me than any marriage would seem like a cage to you. And I know why. Because you're never satisfied with what you've got. You have chosen marriage before. Why does it seem so ugly now?"

"You know exactly why it seems ugly!" He spat and she smiled bitterly.

"Why? Because you've found yourself infatuated with a commoner? A woman who is lower than a dog in this society? If you so fancied your freedom you should have never returned here. But I do not think you'd like it, John. Because no matter what, you shall always be a member of the peerage. You shall always wish for pretty shiny things. You shall always need the money to live your life. That of course doesn't mean that you like the price you have to pay. In this case you're rather fortunate indeed. A dowry worth of several thousand pounds a year and a bride worthy of your previous one."

She didn't see the smack until she felt the sting of the back of his hand upon her right cheek.

She didn't even flinch though and he snarled in fury.

"Don't ever compare that _wisp_ to Elizabeth. Never. Do you understand me?" he whispered as he curled his fingers into a fist and stared at her with intensity. She stared right back and released a tiny breath that made his features spasm with something odd.

"You're angry with me, aren't you? All this time. That's why you're speaking to me like that." He started and she averted her eyes, "If you think that I value luxuries more than your bed, you're mistaken." He whispered and she reached up with a hand, brushing it over her throbbing cheek.

"I wish you didn't wish for my bed sometimes, my Lord." She whispered, "Perhaps things would be different if you had left me as you've found me." She took a step back, but he moved fast. He grasped her elbow and quickly snaked his arm around her, resting his palm on the back of her head. With a firm tug he pulled her to him, crushing her against his chest.

"Stop." He hissed, "Christ's sakes…What's the matter with you?" he muttered into her hair, "Why do you always make me do and say the wrong thing?"

Alexandra closed her eyes and slowly wound her arms around him in return. He pressed closer to her and shook his head.

"It doesn't matter if I am forced in this. You know where I'll be every night. Stop trying to wound me in order to keep me away. There's no way back, don't you see? I'll keep you locked to me even with force if I have to." His arms bruised her as he held her close and she released a small sob as she slumped against him, dropping her calm façade. Her nails dug into his back through his shirt and buried her face in his chest.

"I'm sorry." She whispered and he inhaled sharply before he pulled away and grasped her chin. Without talking, he leaned forward and captured her mouth in a firm kiss. She responded by lifting up on her toes to reach him better, her hands on his shoulders.

Pulling back, he rested his forehead against hers.

"But I do have a plan…" he murmured and she opened her eyes to look at him.

"Plan?"

His eyes glimmered as he brushed his thumb over her pink lips.

"Hmm. A plan that will involve you." He whispered, "It will include a little lying…" he trailed off.

Alexandra pulled back, "And?"

He smirked and she was suddenly frightened of what he might do.

"My Lord?" she pressed and he flicked his tongue across his bottom lip.

"And a little hurting of one's fragile little heart." He pulled back and she blinked.

"Lady Mary's? How could you possibly hurt her?"

He started pacing, his eyes on the dog, "The King is…sentimental with his offspring. He'd never do anything that would displease them…Especially his daughters…" he eyed Alexandra as he reached down and picked up the dog.

"Are you insinuating that this was her choice?" she asked.

"She had a part in it…" he pursed his lips in thought, "And it just fitted with his plan of punishing me."

"So…" she swallowed hard, "She likes you."

"Indeed." His eyes sparkled with mischief.

"That…would..."

"Prove to be in our favor. All I have to do is hurt her tender affections and she wouldn't want to marry me. That might cause a breach in my relationship with the King, but what if I had something to offer in return?"

"Like what?"

He grinned, "A perfect play. An enriched play. An improved one. His affairs with the French are not very beneficial…The succession to the throne is balanced upon a single thread…What better way to redeem myself than offering something that would alleviate some of his troubles?"

"Why do you think he'll be interested?" she asked quietly.

Rochester laughed, scratching the pup behind its ears, "My love, what do all Kings and Princes desire?" he leaned closer and kissed her forehead, "Fame. Look at mighty Elizabeth. Daughter of Anne Boleyn, yet one of the best monarchs this country has ever seen. The Queen of Shakespeare. Her fame is spread all over Europe." He paused, "Sadly our King possesses none of her wonderful traits. He really cannot ask for much. Especially when he has no legitimate heirs."

Alexandra blinked and took a deep breath, "What if you agreed…to marry Lady Mary?" she whispered and he froze.

"Then you would have a new mistress. And you would also occupy her husband's bed…Personally, I don't enjoy torture." He muttered before he brushed by her and walked out of the room.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Young Master Charles was happily chasing the dog around the large parlor.

Alexandra was by the fire, warming her hands and the Earl was sitting in the settee that was close to the hearth. In his hand he held a glass of wine and in his other he was grasping onto a linen handkerchief. His eyes were trained on Alexandra, but kept flickering towards his son who was laughing and squealing as he ran with the dog.

Shifting upon the seat, he pulled his eyes away from Alexandra and looked at his son.

"Charles." He called and when the child didn't look at him, he spoke louder, "Charles!"

The little boy stopped and looked at his father. The dog barked in objection at having their play interrupted.

"Don't run in the house. Think of what your mother would think." He cocked a single eyebrow and the child seemed to cower in himself.

He looked at the puppy that wiggled its tail, ready for more games, but obediently sat down upon a pillow close to the fire. The dog rushed towards the boy and Charles' little hands immediately started petting the animal.

Alexandra cleared her throat and surreptitiously leaned towards the Earl's feet. She gave a firm nudge with her hand and he turned to look at her, his eyes narrowed. She widened her eyes and looked at Charles with meaning. Rochester grimaced, took another long sip from his glass and then leaned forward.

"Charles, come." He called and the child looked up, a little frown upon his fair brow. He stood up nonetheless and walked over to his father. Rochester smirked a little and picked up the boy, settling him firmly upon his lap before he reached for the low table next to him. He produced a pocket book.

"Do you know what it is?" Rochester murmured and the child paused.

"A book."

"Indeed, a book." The Earl nodded.

"What is it about?"

Alexandra smiled and placed another log in the fire.

"This, lad, has your mother's poetry in it." Rochester murmured and Alexandra turned sharply towards him. He had a far away look in his eyes, but his son was looking at the little book with wide eyes.

"Really? Momma was writing? Like you?" Charles whispered in wonder and his father merely nodded.

"I only ask that you don't lose it or batter it. Understood?"

Alexandra watched as the boy nodded and Rochester leaned down to peck his son's head.

"Now go play." He gently pushed the boy off his lap and Charles placed the pocket book in his coat before he grabbed the puppy and took off, sprinting out of the parlor.

Alcock huffed and trailed after the child. Alexandra snorted and the Earl looked at her.

"Something amusing?" he asked and she slowly shook her head.

"No, my Lord. I should better go and watch after your son. Alcock seems-…"

"Let him do something for God's sake. Sit right where you are. I am trying to get inspired." He murmured as he stared at her.

She flushed, "Inspired? By me?" she muttered as she picked at a loose thread on her skirt.

"Who else? I especially like that smudge on your cheek."

She looked up at him and he smirked, his eyes wrinkling at the corners as he tried to hide his amusement behind his glass.

"Rather endearing." He added after a long sip and she quickly reached up to rub off the soot. His chuckles resonated in the silence around them, causing her to shiver. When she looked at him again she saw him gazing at her peculiarly, his eyes dark and dancing with various emotions.

A moment later, he patted his knee invitingly, "Come here."

She almost gulped, but just as she started sitting up she heard footsteps.

"My Lord!' Alcock exclaimed, "The…the…the actress is here."

Rochester frowned, "What actress?"

Alcock opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off.

"Good evening, my Lord."

Nell Gwyn stepped through the threshold with Charles in her arms.

The Earl's eyes narrowed as the woman came to stand in front of him.

"Nell."

"John." She smirked a little, "Aren't you comfy."

"Aren't you unwanted?" he drawled and Alexandra quickly stood.

"Please, be seated." She said for the Earl's behalf and John glared at her.

"Thank you." She let Charles down and took a seat across the Earl.

"What do you want?" Rochester asked and then his eyes flickered towards Alcock, "Take the child away." He murmured and the servant nodded his head. When Alcock and the child were gone, the Earl stood.

"In what do we owe the honor? Traitor." He muttered bitterly and Alexandra looked at the other woman.

"Why am I a traitor, John? Because I wanted to help you?" Nell asked and he snorted.

"Help me? Trap me, you mean."

"I do not want to trap you. You need another wife-…"

"I already have another wife." He whirled around to face her, "I need no King's daughter to warm my bed and my home."

Alexandra nearly winced at his words, but at the same time flushed because of the innuendo. He was talking about her.

Mrs. Gwyn looked shocked as well.

"Alexandra?" she whispered, "A servant."

"Patronizing me will do you no good, Nell. Shall I remind you what you were before you became the King's consort? You worked at the theatre. You were a child, not a woman when you started spreading your legs for the patrons." The Earl eyed the actress with distaste, "I admired you for your courage all the same. A pity you didn't deserve it."

Nell averted her eyes, "This is not about me."

"It's all about you! You were the one who planted this seed in the King's brain! And you are under the illusion that you're helping me! My last wish is to be his daughter's plaything just because she cannot find a proper suitor." Rochester finished his drink in one go and then threw the glass on the table.

"Mary is a perfectly fine young woman. She should not be the object of your wrath."

"She will be if I am forced to take her as my wife." He snarled, "The girl doesn't even have the courage to greet a male. I am rather infamous for my tastes, but I do appreciate a little wit."

Nell stood up, "She is not witless! Jesus Christ! Why won't you think about it?"

"Oh I have thought about it. And here's what I have concluded." He leaned towards the actress, "I will accept the dowry and his daughter if she will have no demands from me." He stated and Alexandra frowned. Was that part of his plan? Odd…

"An unconsummated wedding. Is that what you're suggesting?" she whispered and the Earl smirked.

"Indeed. What more? He cannot expect me to have…feelings for her, can he?" he purred and Nell looked at Alexandra.

"Because of her." She whispered and Alexandra tensed up.

"My dear Nell. I have never been shy to engage into affairs. So, do not presume that you can wound my dignity. I have betrayed my wife, a woman who didn't even deserve it. What do you think will stop me from doing as I wish now? Because she's the King's daughter? To me she is a burden that I will have to carry. I won't give up my life because of your stupid plan. Am I clear?" His words were a murmur and Alexandra could see that he truly detested what they had forced upon him. She was certain that a simple banishment from England would have hurt less.

"I will be clever enough and I won't repeat what you just said to me to the King. I will simply inform him that you will accept Mary." Nell took a step closer, "Or you could deny and lose the King's favor forever…along with your commission, this manor and everything you possess."

Rochester glared down at her while his eyes burned with silent fury. She could see how tense his entire body was and she could feel the heat of his anger vibrating in waves around them.

"This is like asking a man to choose between his head and his cock." He informed her crassly, "I will, of course, choose my head."

Nell smiled, "Good. But I do wonder if she can carry the burden of being your mistress." She looked at Alexandra who gritted her teeth, "But I imagine that's all she knows…poor thing." There was actual sympathy in the actress' voice, but Alexandra only heard the mockery in it.

Nell shook her head and walked away in a blur of skirts, "Lady Mary enjoys Shakespeare. Be sure to invite her to a play this weekend." She called before she disappeared.

Alexandra fled the room before Rochester could blink, let alone speak.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_A few days later…_

The water had long turned cold. She dipped her fingers in the murky water and sighed. She should get out of the tub. She had been there for two hours. Her hair had started drying, turning frizzy from the humidity, and her skin had turned wrinkly from staying in the tub for too long. She didn't know what time it was, but she knew that it was late. He ought to be back soon she supposed. The play started early and she was certain that it should be finished by then.

She was trying not to think about it. It was his duty to do all that. He should be spending time with the King's daughter, showing at least a little bit of attentiveness because otherwise there would be questions. He didn't seem perturbed about it. She could even say that he enjoyed playing with the girl. He even bought her a gift to sweeten her up so he could make the blow even worse when it actually was time for his plan to begin. He hadn't even told her what the bloody plan was. She just knew that he rather enjoyed provoking the girl and making her blush. Lady Mary was certainly taken with him. And Alexandra couldn't blame her. She had fallen for the same character after all. She knew how he could be, but she was certain that the other woman was just not so familiar with his ways. She couldn't see through him just yet…and maybe she never would. Awfully naïve she was…and awfully kind. It seemed like he attracted that sort of women. Good, loyal women always fell for the rotten ones. Alexandra knew it.

She heard his footsteps before she heard the door of the washroom opening. She felt him lingering there, just at the threshold, the familiar scowl firmly on his face.

"Pet?"

She breathed in deeply at the pet name.

"What are you doing?"

She looked at him. He had his overcoat thrown over his forearm and he was leaning against the doorframe.

"I was taking a bath." She replied quietly "How was the play?"

Rochester frowned a little, "It was…adequate... You're shivering." He pointed out and she blinked.

"I was just getting out." She mumbled as she grasped the edges of the tub and without any preamble stood up. Water cascaded down her body in rivulets and she could feel his shameless stare. For the first time she didn't flush and that worried her…Somewhere deep inside her mind she wondered why.

Reaching for the towel, she wrapped it around her body as she got out of the tub. Just as she was ready to drain the tub with the bucket, he spoke.

"You can do that in the morning."

She looked at him from over her shoulder, "Come to bed before you catch your death." His eyes moved over her one more time before he turned around and walked away.

She knew when the words were a command and a suggestion and so, she abandoned the water and bucket and picked up her robe. She wrapped the linen around her and used the towel to dry her hair as she slowly made her way upstairs.

When she entered his chamber she saw that he had removed his waistcoat and was only in his shirt and breeches.

His walking stick was abandoned near the bed and his boots were lying haphazardly near his closet.

"Alexandra?" His voice caused her to blink.

"My Lord."

He walked towards her, his hands outstretched so he could touch her, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She shook her head.

His eyes swept her form and landed on her ear, "You have not worn your earrings lately…"

"No." she shook her head.

"Why?" His palms slid smoothly over her clothed back.

"I am not sure…"

His hand grasped her chin, "You're not…jealous, are you?" he smirked a little and she felt her skin flushing.

"I am not calm either."

"I can see that." He noted with a cocked eyebrow.

"But you are."

"I am a good actor."

"Certainly. And you're enjoying it."

"Why not? He's probably dancing for his success. Why shouldn't I have some entertainment?"

He pulled her to him and turned them around swiftly. She gasped and grasped his shirt in her hands.

"That's mean."

"To whom?" he drawled.

"To her…and to me."

"Nonsense." He pushed her on the bed with his hands and then crawled towards her, "I'll take you with me next time."

"I don't want you to take me with you. I am not a puppy to trail after you."

His nostrils flared as he looked down at her, "You insolent little wench." He smirked fondly, "Do you want to know my plan?" he whispered as he parted the folds of her robe, exposing her bare skin to his greedy eyes.

"I cannot say I am not curious." She whispered shakily as his hand brushed over her belly.

"Hmm…Indeed." His hand went lower until it was buried between her thighs, "I just have to fuck you first." He breathed into her ear before he turned his head and captured her lips in a deep kiss.

She arched her back as his knee parted her thighs with swiftness, but then he seemed to change his mind. He tore his mouth away and ignoring her gasp, he rolled her onto her stomach. Her eyes widened when she felt him against her lower back and her mouth parted.

"Is this somewhat familiar?" he breathed hotly into her ear as he wrestled with his breeches and her robe.

"You are rude!" she exclaimed as his hand captured both her wrists and forced them hard against the mattress.

"Really?" he chuckled, "And you are so beautiful like this." He clicked his tongue when she tried to escape and his hand came hard down on her thigh. She yelped in pain and her cheeks turned bright red.

"John!"

"John now, is it?" he muttered as he brushed his hand over the swell of her backside, "You call me that only when it suits you…Who is the rude one now?" His teeth caught her earlobe and she groaned as his nails bit into the skin of her wrists.

"You!" she exclaimed and when the smack landed on her buttock her eyes went wide, "My Lord!"

"There we are. Much better. If you're going to be insolent I might as well be the master again. Don't you think?" His hand grasped her hip and he pulled her up while he ground his arousal against her, making her gasp and writhe.

"You're hurting me." She shook her hands to make her point and he released them at once, placing his hand on her hair instead, using it to push away the semi-wet strands.

"Why are you so naïve?" he breathed as he slid down her body, aligning himself and settling between her thighs, "Don't you know I cannot breathe without you?" His entrance when it came caused her to cry out and her hands curled tightly around his sheets. He moaned hoarsely and buried his face in her neck, trying to keep her bucking hips still with his weight.

"I'll stop if you don't cease. I mean it." He hissed and she became very still, her breaths coming out in rough pants. He stroked her waist with just the tips of his fingers and then pulled back only to push forward again.

"Good girl." He breathed softly, his lips by her temple. His breath was hot and humid against her skin and she leaned back towards him, seeking his warmth by pressing her back against his still clothed chest. Her robe had already been moist from her bath and now it was rubbing against her skin, soaked with her sweat.

His lips found the tender skin of her neck and he suckled hard, causing her to wince and gasp at the same time with the sensation. Feeling boneless and completely conquered, she collapsed onto the mattress, her cheek against the sheets as he picked up the pace of his thrusts, causing her to slide farther up the bed with every sharp pound of his hips. His breath was rapid and uneven next to her ear and he abandoned her neck to grasp both of her hips in his hands, bracing himself with his knees on the bed as he moved faster.

Her eyes drifted shut as her lips parted and she could feel the fire in her belly flaring up until it exploded. Tiny little black dots appeared behind her closed eyelids and she cried out, her hands seeking something, anything to hold on to. They closed around his arms and she momentarily wondered how that was possible. She opened her eyes only to realize that he had rolled her onto her back, his eyes on her face as he thrust in and out of her with abandon now, ready to reach his own precipice.

Her eyes dropped to his grunting mouth and she leaned up, kissing him deeply and convincing herself that she felt no fear of the future. Not as long as he was with her.

He released hard inside her with a hoarse groan and collapsed on top of her, his head on her chest and his hands on her thighs. His breath fell on her moist skin and caused goosebumps to appear on the pale flesh. Closing her eyes, she placed her hands tentatively on his back, feeling the high temperature of his skin even through his shirt.

She felt his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed and she tried to regulate her own breathing.

That had been…intense. She could feel how numb her entire body was. Her limbs were shaking and the wetness between her thighs felt like molten lava the more he rested there. Unlike other times he didn't pull back immediately. Instead he lingered, gently rocking against her until his breathing turned back to normal.

"Fuck." He muttered as his eyelids fluttered open, "You should ignore me more often." He smirked a little and she flushed even more. Withdrawing from her, he rolled onto his back and collapsed on the mattress next to her, his clothes in disarray.

Alexandra quickly covered herself with the robe and closed her legs, wincing a little and wincing even more when he noticed and grinned like a cat that had eaten the canary.

"Should I rub it better?" he cocked an eyebrow and reached out with his hand, but she smacked it away.

"John!"

He chuckled and rolled towards her, placing his cheek on her chest.

"The plan is simple really." he sighed, "What would dear Mary think if she knew that her future husband has left the _help_ with child? Hmm?" He patted her belly, "While courting her, the daughter of the King, of course." He winked and Alexandra frowned.

"But…I am not pregnant." She murmured and he smirked.

"She doesn't need to know that, does she? What's a little lie next to freedom? Hmm?" He kissed her brow and then stood up, "I'll bring you a washing cloth." He called before he disappeared next door.

Alexandra raised her eyes on the ceiling. His plan…would not work. She just knew it. The King already knew what kind of man he was. His only goal was to punish him. For once she didn't believe in her lord's words. He would fail.

**End of chapter 29**

**Author's note: Ahem, still here? Good! Liked it? Hated it? Please let me know! Do you think his not so complicated plan is going to work? Or will it backfire? Hmm?**

**Until next time!**

**Xxx Lina :D**


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